QuickSand
by to-love-is-to-lie
Summary: I caught the train to Suna. i thought that once i was there, i wouldnt need anything more. And i was right... but what i forgot was that i might want more. Now i'm not sure if Suna can really give me everything, even if he is there. GaaraXOC AU
1. Suna

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**Chapter One: **

_My favorite thing is to go where I've never been. -Diane Arbus_

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**Monday - 13/8/18 – Writing from Suna. **

The 9:45 to Suna arrived late on Monday. It got there at seven. The sun was up by then, and so when I stepped onto the platform there were many bronze-skinned, mainly male, people crowding around to get on the train. There were few women, and they were all covered in huge lengths of fabric from head to toe.

When I had raced up the stairs, I came face-to-face with Suna, and the thing that knocked the breathe out of me was the sheer hugeness of it. It was massive. I had never been in anything bigger then Konoha, which was tiny. But this was a city. It had huge houses, small houses, shabby houses, apartment houses, mansion houses, hotel houses, building houses, houses so tall they would have privately owned elevators, houses so long they would have those flat escalators you find at airports to make people walking from one side to the other move faster, houses with heli-pads, and then from my view at the top of the hill in which the railways were situated under, I saw the poor district. It was houses that were more cardboard then brick. This huge infestation of desert-dwelling people went on forever. And I shook, how the hell would _I_ find one little insignificant individual in this mass of humanity and housing material.

I walked numbly to a bench and sat down. Where would I start? Would I spend my entire life knocking on doors until I found some trace of where he had been? I didn't have enough money to last my entire life. I had left with only PJ's, jeans two packs of gum and 400.

There was no way I'd ever find him here. Here in this huge, huge mass of buildings and people. My mouth felt dry, I was a small country girl, infact, very _very_ small. Most people here towered over me, maybe even taller then Naruto, or even Kimimaro.

Their names burned my mind. Naruto's burned with anger, of so much hurt. He betrayed me and kept letters I had longed for from me. He had kept me from Gaara. All I had to trace him with was a P.O. Box address. Hardly even a starting point, seeing I don't even know which post office it would be in. Kimimaro… somebody who needed me, I've never left anyone who actually needed me. Either they've left me, or I've stayed until they didn't need me anymore. But he needed me. And I still left.

I tore my thoughts away from Sound and back into the hot dry city of Suna. Fuck. This place is _big_. I must have looked thoroughly lost, since I got some sympathetic looks from the eyes of many passer-byers's.

I put my head in my hands, rubbing my eyes with the palms of my hands. Maybe when I look up again the city will just be one house. And in that one house will only be one person. And that one person will want to see me and I him.

I opened my eyes and sighed. No, of course not. Not that easy. The vast city remained. I decided that I would put to use possibly the only useful thing I had brought, and chewed on a stick of gum.

Fuck. This place _is_ big.

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**7:43**

I spent 2 hours on that park bench. Two agonizing hours in numb shock over how hugely _big_ Suna was. Two long, long thoughtless hours staring at the ants on the pavement. And in that two hours I think I only noticed one thing.

Even in winter, Suna is _hot_. And so, for another hour after that two hours I spent in a small coffee-shop in numb shock of how hot a place in winter could get. I blame the body-heat from the millions and billions of people who live here. That's why. It was probby really nice once, then all these people came and made it hot.

I drank four cups of coffee. I am now down too 382.25. And I really don't care. Why should I?

So after spending two long hours wondering at how huge this place could actually be, and the following that up with another sixty-minutes of being shocked over how hot winter was here, I eventually got of my ass and went to find someplace to stay and not get weird looks from people.

I walked, and I walked. And I don't know how long I really did walk, but eventually I walked enough to find a small shabby apartment approx. 3 hours hot walk from the train-station. And in that small shabby apartment I realized the rent was too high, so I walked another hour or so in the hot until I found one I can afford for a month. And it's was even worse then the last one. But really, as long as it had a fan I was fine. And a fridge. It was practically empty, all I would use was the things I ate and a directory and phone book.

I have one month. One small tiny month to comb the entire city of Suna for one person. One month to find Gaara, how? I have no freaking idea. I think I'll start asking around here first.

Jeans are too hot. Hot hot hot. People around here wear long-sleeved gear like its _cold_. It's hot. Hot _hot_ hot. Too hot for me.

Fuck. This place is _hot_.

And big.

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**11:03**

I miss Gaara. Being in Suna does nothing when I don't know where the hell he is. I hate this room. On one side the people next door just have sex. And that's it. I tried plugging my ears with everything in the entire room but nothing blocks out the ugliest noises I've ever heard. And what's better? On the other side there is an insane person who appears to have a dog and snores really loud. He can obviously sleep through the people two doors down from him having vicious orgasms. WELL I CAN'T!

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**Tuesday 14/8/18 **

I spent all last night pouring over a phone book. There is nobody under the entire 'S' section (which is 102 pages long) that has the name Temari, Kankuro or Gaara.

I'm tired. My ears hurt from having tampons in them as make-shift earplugs. I ate a mixture of those mini travel cereal packs and condensed milk. Healthy.

Today I wandered about Suna like a lost puppy, and I bought many smoothies. I spent most of the day asking people if they knew Gaara, I asked the lady at the counter of the ice-cream cart if she knew somebody called 'Sabaku No _Gaara' She laughed in my face. Not that I could really tell since her face was covered in the head-dress most native women wore here. She may have just been coughing violently. But if she was laughing, it's understandable, I mean, asking for one person in this huge city. _

_I got mainly the same reaction from the other people I asked too. I will try again tomorrow. And will check the 'S' section of the ____People!__ Directory (Suna edition). One even just shook his head and walked away muttering 'Damn Tourists, don't know anything.' _

_But the one that really pissed me off was the guy who pretended he couldn't understand me and then I followed him to his shop and bought something and when he asked if I wanted a receipt I cried 'AHA! YOU DO UNDERSTAND ME DAMNIT!' and he told me to get out and stop asking stupid questions. _

_But I met lots of interesting people. There was one who was deaf so I drew a picture in the sand beside the pavement and it wasn't THAT bad but eventually he got fed up and shrugged and walked off. I'd even taken the trouble of getting some redder sand for his hair. And he would be easy to recognize if you knew him, I'd only seen a few others with red hair here. I'd even drawn angry lines to show his personality. I mean, most of the time he's scowling? Maybe I over did the eyebrows and he looked more like Lee, but I think I got it pretty damn close. _

_And I met another Land-of-Fire person who had dyed her hair purple. She got the same dirty looks as me for showing her face in public, she laughed too, but in a more polite way since I think she guessed I was new and kept walking. _

_Another thing I hate about Suna, besides the hugeness, and the hotness is the face no woman shows her face. Why? They all wear long light but dark pants, slipper-like shoes, a long flowy-sleeved top and a strange criss-crossy sash running around the shoulders and waist with the veil over the face. Most wore dark blue or deep reds or purples. There was no green here. At all. _

_And damnit! It's people like me and the girl with the purple hair who pay! The guys probably just laugh at me because they can see my face. I don't go 'HAHAHAH! I can see ya faaa-aace!' when they ask me something. _

_Not like they do… _

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_8:29_

_This list of people and numbers and addresses sucks. Why the hell don't they put Gaara in these things? Hasn't he been here long enough?_

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_8:34_

_Shit. What if he's not here? What if I have to go back to Sound to get my credit card to get into my bank (which I should've brought but didn't) so I can go somewhere else to find him? _

_What if I have come all this way for nothing?_

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_8:50 _

_No, no. he's here. Temari said so. And the P.O. Box on the back of the letter matches the P.O Boxes here. Well… the post code does. _

_Well, I don't know. But he must be here, because if he's not why would he come all the way to Suna just to check his P.O. Box. _

_I will write a reply. I don't think he'll check it. But it's worth it, maybe the person who probably owns the P.O. Box now will tell me his new address? _

_He's here. If he's not, I shall go back to Sound and tell Naruto to go and damn well fix what he's broken on pain of Sasuke's balls being cut off. No, actually. There's no point in even joking about that. I'm not going back, and I'm not getting Naruto to even try to fix this. I don't trust him anymore. _

_And if I go back, who says I can leave Kimimaro again? _

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_1:09am _

_I can't sleep, I went out onto the tiny itsy bitsy balcony and look up at the sky. You can't see much. Only the moon and the brighter stars, thanks to all the lights in Suna. _

_I wonder where Gaara is. _

_Also wonder if the people next door (I'm beginning to thing it's a hooker) will ever shut up._

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_Thursday 16/8/18 _

_Nothing interesting happened yesterday. I am running low on my food-money. And I'm out of mini-cereals. I just ate the rest of the condensed milk today. _

_Today I continued walking and asking. I made it to the richer districts today, where I was treated worse then ever for showing my face, I got so pissed off by the end of it I yelled 'AM I REALLY ____THAT__ REPULSIVE?' to the guy who had ignored me. He threw me a dirty look and swished away in his winter suit. _

_Which, if I wore, I would melt since I only just survive in rolled-up jeans and the same T-shirt (which has a few smoothie and condensed milk stains on it by now) in the sweltering heat. _

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_10:23_

_I'm such a hobo. Living on condensed milk. _

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**I AM. SO. SORRY! Really, I had posted the A/N and then was in the middle of filling out the 'new story' thing and then my mother rushes in and is all 'HELP WITH THE HORSES!!' and so I do, and then when I get back it's like 11 and I have to go to beddybies. I. AM. SO. SORRY! **

**Also, hello to people too! I am to-love-is-to-lie! Sometime I don't make much sense, I kinda ruin somber sad chappies with insane happy author notes…. But I guess you get used to that. Hope you liked it, love me. :D**

**(P.S. Hello all familiar names, glad to be back after a whole FIVE/SIX DAYS! :o !! hehe. QuickSand is up, and I had left over quotes so I'll use ze quotes again. Plus, I learned more life lessons from them then I do from school. But I guess that's obvious when you think about it. )**

**Haha, love youuu. **

**Love-love-is-to-lie. **

**P.S. LOVEEEEE YOUUU!**


	2. That Kid

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_Chapter Two: _

___No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish. - Kin Hubbard_

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_Saturday 17/8/18 _

_This is getting sad. Day after day after day now of being laughed at and given dirties by people who see my face. Come on! One person out of the fifty BILLION I've asked must know a little anti-social red-haired kid! COME ON! _

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_Sunday 18/818 (wow.) _

_I spent today in my shabby bed. I can't be bothered. I just want to sleep, this week I think I have got a total of 14 hours sleep all up. It's not good for me. I just wanna find him already. _

_I did pour through other sections of the People Directory incase they thought his name began with A or B or C or D or E or F or G or N or something silly like that. _

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**Monday 19/8/18 **

It's been a week now. I might go insane. I HATE THE NEIGHBOURS.

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**4:35**

Also 70 out of food money. I eat too much.

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**Wednesday 21/8/18**

I set off on my usual day now, except on about 25 less in ze food budget. Feeling down about that, I went off sullen-faced to ask the first person whether they'd heard of or seen somebody who is, or at least is a lot like Gaara.

It was midday by the time I met the kid, I had asked a tall woman dressed in Suna clothing, I was getting used to seeing women with veils over their face and sashes with long lengths of cloth to cover their arms draped over their shoulders in a cross. The only thing that really showed was a small part of their neck, which seemed appropriate. For a while I got so bored and sick I bought a sheet and covered my face and tried asking somebody about Gaara. Of course, I couldn't see them and I waited 10mins for a reply but when I took my make-shi(f)t veil and sash off they were gone.

Sighing, I had retreated to a near bench, and then the little kid came up, he was licking an ice-cream and sighed at me.

"Lady, you don't know much 'bout Suna do ya?"

I look up sharply, finding being called 'Lady' weird. I should be 'gally' or 'weirdo'. "Nup, not much." I said, staring back at the ground. The boy was up to my shoulders, which says more about my height then his seeing as he looked about nine. He had shaggy brown hair and wore a shash too, but it was made of thicker material and only crossed one shoulder.

"I've seen ya before, you came 'ere yesterdi, askin' for Sabaku Na _Gaara." He said simply. I sigh and look at him, he had a weird way of talking but I liked this kid from the beginning for sure. _

_"Yep. I've been doing this for weeks, he is a friend of mine." I said. _

_"Ya know, lady, I' seen the peoples laughin' at ya and I can understand why now, haven't you read a pape'r lately?"_

_"No, I haven't picked up a pap____er__ lately." I say like it was rehearsed. _

_The kid looked at me as if I was dumb and grabbed my hand, I shivered, because his hand was sticky and gross from ice-cream, but I followed, figuring I had nothing better to do. After a while, I got bored though. _

_"Listen kid, where are you taking me?" _

_"To th' newsagents." He told me simply, as if I'm dumb again. _

_"Why?" _

_"To find yer, erm, ____friend__." _

_I seriously doubted this kid knew Gaara, this kid was the type of person Gaara would have run down with his car if he met. And really I had the slightest urge too right about now too. "Kid, I appreciate you feeling sorry for me, but really, I'll just go back to asking people on the street, oka-," but he pulls me along faster and I'm cut off. _

_"I'm doing ya a favo'r lady." He said. _

_And he led me to a stall in the street and stopped I surveyed the man, who was fat, middle-aged and slightly bald. "What? Am I supposed to ask him? You think that IS him? Frankly, I don't think we're talking about the same person." I looked about the stall again, all I could see was dirty magazines and today's paper. _

_"No! Lady, you seem stupid for somebody who don't come from 'ere." He chided and I glared. _

_"Well damnit then I am! What do you want me to look at kid? I don't see why you brought me here-," I demand, now angry, but was cut off as he shoved one of the huge wads of paper in my face._

_"Look!" he lifted one of the huge papers and shoved it in my face, and then, I saw Gaara, my mouth when dry. I took it. _

_"No way…" _

_"Yea, lady, yer' friend is real important now." _

_In my shock, I sat down hard on the pavement near the stall numbly and stared at the picture. Why was Gaara in a newspaper? My eyes strayed to the headline and back to the picture. No…. no way. The people must have just taken a picture of the wrong person and put it in the newspaper and not realized it. Poor guy. _

_I flung the paper back on the pile and reached for another, under nearly the same heading, there he was. Again. Maybe the photographers really suck these days and all miss their targets, maybe that man in the suit next to him is the person the headline says. No. not Gaara…. _

_The stall keeper started to get angry. "Girly, either buy one or go. This aint a library." I fumbled in my pocked and got some change, paid for the paper and sat down again, getting an angry stare from the stall keeper. _

_"See lady, tol' ya you'd wanna see this." The boy said smugly. _

_I nodded numbly. "Thanks…" _

_"Ya know, I never seen somebody so shocked at th' Kazekage before." _

_"It is that one, right? Not the one to the left?" _

_"Yea, that one. Why wouldn't it be?" _

_"Bad photographers?" I suggested weakly. He boys frowns at me. _

_"Lady, ya seemed smart a' first bu' now I'm not too shure." _

_I really didn't care if he had just insulted me, I could have kissed the kid, instead, since that could be considered pedophilia, I dug in my pocket for 5 and gave it to him. "Buy yourself something nice, kid. I really don't care if it's a cigarette, anything." I smiled brightly at him, he shrugged, and took the money. _

_"Yo'r a weird lady." He muttered, and walked off into the crowd. _

_Holding the paper close, I found the next bus that would take me to the Kazekage's offices. I was almost bouncing off my seat, after 9 days of pure hell in searching and asking and receiving dirty looks and eating junk food I had something to follow. I should have guess, I knew he was going into Politics… Naruto never really let me watch TV, If anybody could tell lots of people what to do it was Gaara. If anybody could become the youngest Kazekage in the entire history of Suna it was Gaara. _

_I practically leaped off the bus and raced to the big doors, it was huge. It was an old-style building with decorative roofs and a gold-and-red theme. Sculptures of birds were fixed to the golden curling gutters, which had no leaves or dirt in them. _

_But I didn't pay much attention to this, I opened the doors and the air-conditioned room flew out before me, orange-cream carpet with red lined with gold walls and many exotic looking pot-plants filled it, in the far corner there was a desk, to the left there was an elevator. Not knowing which I pick, I walked to the desk. A young receptionist sat there, and did not take notice of my presence. She had light skin and dark hair pulled back into a pony tail, a rare kind of dark dark black-purple eyes and a tiny, but still very tall build. Without even looking up, without me even saying anything she sighed. _

_"The hours to visit the Kazekage for whatever reason you may have are on Thursdays and Fridays from 8am until 4pm. If you do not have a special appointment you will have to come and line up on one of those days. Sorry to trouble you." _

_"Sorry, but I know Gaara, I just want to see him. Nothing else." Hopefully, once he's seen me he'll let me in. _

_"The hours to visit the Kazekage are from 8am to 4pm on a Thursday or Friday." She repeated. She still hadn't lifted her head from the papers on the desk. I scowled. _

_"He knows me. I know him!" I say angrily. "We were friends in high-school." _

_Now, she sighed and looked up. "Miss, you know how many people come here and say that every day? The Kazekage is in high demand and I don't care how you know him, the visiting hours are from 8am to 4pm on a Thursday or a Friday. Not any other day for civilians without a special previously requested appointment." _

"Damnnit! I KNOW HIM!" I started to get extremely impatient. Gaara was somewhere in this _building_! I was so close! If I had to wait until tomorrow I would scream my little blonde head off.

"Miss, don't get frustrated. I'm sure it can wait until tomorrow."

"No! It damn well can't! I've been looking through three whole districts for him! And I swear this place is the most inconsiderate place in the entire world!" I fumed.

"The specified visiting hours are-,"

"From 8am to 4pm, I KNOW!" and with that, I storm out of the building, and kick a small decorative statue on one side of the door, immediately regret it because my foot now ached.

I had to see him, I _had_ too. So, with that I ran off to find the kitchen entrance. 10 minutes later I was kicked back out again by men in scary black suits muttering "How the hell did she get passed?" and "Either go home or go to jail!"

After that I really did kinda give up. I still have about 90 left of random money, so I decided to crash at the cheapest hotel I could find, the only thing I had at the room in the shabby place with the loud people who have sex next door was an old pair of socks, a few strangely shaped tampons (that fit in my ears) and an undershirt. Nothing really important.

And so now I'm in the hotel drinking mini-milks that I found in the fridge. I feel sick. I will see Gaara tomorrow. Even if I have to wait there for hours and hours. And I will run up and shout and say 'DAMNIT LOOK!' until he does. And then hopefully, he'll let me never leave ever again.

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**Hellooooo!! How are we all! I GOT SOOOOOO MANY REVEIWS FOR THAT LAST CHAPTER!! THANKS SOOOOOO MUCH!! **

**To people who are just joining me here, this is actually a, erm… triquel? And if you feel like it you can go back and read the other two stories, but once again, if your lazy like I am and you really can't be bothered then just read on, coz I'm just you can get the gist of it.**

**LOVE YOU ALL SOOOOOO MUCH! Sorry for the cut off, but all will be revealed next chappie! :D **

**LOVE YOU! Seeya! **

**3**


	3. The Kazekage

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**Chapter Three: **

_Why not go out on a limb? Isn't that where the fruit is? - Frank Scully_

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**Thursday 22/8/18 **

I arrived at eight, but apparently I'm not the only one who wants to see Gaara. Nearly all the people after me looked at the mass of people in that orange and red and gold room and turned away almost instantly muttering something about 'coming back tomorrow' only one or few stayed for an hour or two, but after that they gave up too. But not me. I just sat there, last in line. Hands clenched in my lap, shaking slightly.

Now, as I could hear occasional murmurs of his voice and another's in the room, it brought reality to me. He was a Kazekage, and not just any! He was the youngest in history of I'm pretty sure any country. I have no idea how he managed it, but he did. What was I compared to him? Some small-town short blonde who looked half her age and whose greatest achievement in life was falling into a pool when I heard something that I should've known all along?

I was nothing near him. He had moved on, I thought to myself. I was just a small piece of his past he had left behind with every other little broken piece of his life back in Konoha.

_Then why did he return?_ A small voice in the back of my head piped up. I frown at it as best I can, seeing as it's hard to frown at yourself. He probably just returned for nothing more then to prove he could… people got up, and they went in, and I heard another small whisper of his voice curl around the door as it closed I closed my eyes and savored it.

Why was I here? This was stupid. Those letters were months ago. He probably has got a nice steady girlfriend. Or at least a regular whore, that receptionist is a good candidate. Who was I compared to her? Her and her unusual purple eyes and pretty-ness. I was nothing, nothing to him, nothing to her, I was probably only something to that kid that had showed me a newspaper stand. And that was only because I gave him five bucks. And knowing my luck (and how it's contagious) he'll probby by McDonalds with that and then get diabetes and die. And it'll all be my fault.

The day wore on, the sun slowly started to set and the receptionist got up and walked into the room. "There are eleven more, sir." Another whisper of his voice reached my ears.

Time seemed to have passed quickly, I didn't want it too, I grasped desperately at the last minute past and wished it was back so I could think some more, make a real decision about some things. All I noticed was the slightly blur of passing people, some angry, some satisfied, as they left the office to go home. And I shook more, I was three people down. I seemed to shrink into the chair and try to become nothing as the person before me stood up. Murmurs poured through the slightly-open door, angry, mollified, calm, angry again. Calm. Happy.

I couldn't do this! My head swam, and I heard the door move to open as the person would leave, and I stood up and tried to quickly run away, but the receptionist came out with her clipboard, where I had written my name and told me I was next.

I froze.

"Miss, you may see the Kazekage now… Oh! It's you, see, waiting wasn't so bad."

I wanted to slap her, but didn't. I kept still, I couldn't have slapped to even if I had the willpower. It wasn't my fault, I do look insane, I wouldn't let me see the Kazekage if I were her.

"Miss? You may see the Kazekage now…"

"Is there anyone else there?" Gaara's voice came clear through the door and I felt like I'd faint, my head spun dangerously and I gripped the doorframe.

"Yes… but she seems to be very… still."

"Send her in, I want to finish this god-forsaken day." He was tired. I didn't want him to be tired, he must be happy _always_. His voice was like velvet, only slightly rougher and less purple. My hands gripped the doorframe tightly to keep me from falling. I was shaking again.

"Come in." his voice sounded again. This was like an order to me; I couldn't _not_ do what he said. My hands unclasped the doorframe as if they had a mind of their own, and my legs followed suit and spun me around and forward.

_No! No, no, no! _I didn't want to do this now! I wasn't ready! I should be stunningly beautiful! Not in week-old jeans and a T-shirt that has seen a few too many summers. I should be successful and desirable. Not washed out and tired. I screamed inwardly at my legs to stop, but they wouldn't. They just kept going. I should come back in a few months when I am a super-rich-sexy single lawyer or something or rather.

And I reached the doorframe, but I didn't look at him. He was writing. He didn't look up, I looked at the wall above him, because I knew if I looked at him I couldn't leave. Ever. My eyes were wide with fright and my hands clung to the doorframe of his visiting-office desperately.

"Come in." he said again. He voice was clearer now and like heaven to my senses. How I'd longed to hear that voice for years, how secretly I'd wished I'd hear it when I turned every corner and did not know who would be around it.

_I am in. _But my mouth wouldn't open, and my tongue wouldn't move, and my teeth wouldn't unclench and it was all I could do to stay standing. He continued to write.

He sighed and looked up, annoyed at why I wasn't answering, pen still poised over what he was writing on and from the corner of my eye I saw him look up, and I immediately looked at the floor, my heart was racing so fast it defiantly wasn't healthy. And I heard his pen hit the table. He'd dropped it. I clenched my eyes shut, waiting for an 'Oh… wow, um, well… didn't expect to see you again.' Or a 'what the hell are _you_ doing here?!' both outcomes seemed bleak.

And I heard a chair scrape against the ground and footsteps. "Sorano?" his voice was dry, I heard it, and I opened my eyes in surprise. It sounded like mine would have if I could have spoken. I didn't take my eyes of the ground still, my breathing quickened, if that was possible.

"Sora?"

My teeth unclenched suddenly and I gasped. "Yes." And locked my legs straight so I could stay standing.

"Really?"

I nod, as talking obviously made it hard to stand. My body had made it clear under the circumstances I could only tackle one at a time.

From the top of my vision, I saw shoes and my heart beat faster, I could almost smell him and that just would make it harder to converse with him. "Hello." I managed to get out.

And he laughed, and that was it, I hit the ground but leaped up almost so quickly it was like I bounced off it, but it was too late, he was closer, I could tell because I could see pants when I looked at the ground. If I looked up now, I'd probably see his shoulders, knowing my height…

"I haven't – I, How?" he said, his voice was the same. Always detached from what he's saying as if he doesn't care, but I knew him better.

I stayed silent, trying to collect my thoughts and feelings, and most of all my ability to multi-task at simple things like stand and talk.

"Why won't you look at me?" he asked quietly. Of course, I never thought of how weird this would be like. As if I had no eyes or something.

And so I told the truth. "Because if I do, I won't be able to look away."

And as soon as I'd heard that, I felt hands on my chin and I looked in his eyes. He was taller now, and he smelt the same, just kinda cleaner and sharper, and his hair was shorter, and he had a slightly darker skin tone, and he wore a dark coat over some strange Suna-gear, but the best was his eyes, to me, they hadn't changed. But not from the time he was leaving, from the times we had swimming in lakes and harassing teachers and failing at science projects… well, that might have just been me.

And I kinda of fell on him, it was half me leaping into his grip but half the fact now looking at him and standing was defiantly too much and I needed something to lean on, and this was defiantly preferable.

And I buried my face in his clothes and hugged him, not caring whether he liked it or not. But to my delight, I felt a slight pressure on my waist, sure, not as enthusiastic as me but I didn't care.

"I missed you, I missed you, I missed you, I missed you I missed you I missed you I missed you!" I whispered fiercely into his clothes and in response I felt the slight pressure on my waist increase slightly. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry-," I began, but I was cut off.

"For what?" he asked, I felt his chin resting on the top of my head, which made me feel even shorter.

"You wrote." I said, resting my forehead on his shoulder. "I didn't."

"Why?" I could tell he really did want to know why the hell I'd hadn't looked at his letters.

"It's… it's a long story." I said quietly. "But it doesn't matter, because you're here." I say again and realize shamefully that I was crying quietly. Now, apparently, smelling him hearing him, being somewhat upright and talking was all too much and I was in overdrive. Crying was the only option besides pass out.

"I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm sorry. I missed you, I missed you I missed you I missed you…" I repeated. "You have no idea how much." And I cried more. And he didn't say anything really but I didn't expect him too, because he was Gaara and wasn't good with lots of emotion, which is what I basically was right now.

"And I looked everywhere…" I got out in between sobs. "And you weren't there…" more of those inhaley noises you make when you cry and talk at the same time. "And it's been a week… and a few-few days now." I didn't bother pausing when I knew nobody in the entire world could understand me. "But then, there w-was this k-kid and he was r-really ann-noying b-but I listened to him, w-hich was good b-because he showed to me to the paper-stall." And I couldn't talk anymore because all I could do was cry. I didn't care that that made no sense at all. He moved his arms to around my shoulders so I couldn't really move, but I didn't want to so it was okay, and I cried until I couldn't and then just went quiet, and I wished I knew what he was thinking.

"You were waiting out there… all day." He said quietly after a while. "All along."

I nodded into his shirt.

"And you didn't just rush in here and tell me?" I could hear a slight edge of annoyance in his voice, and I laughed in that I've-just-been-crying kinda way.

"I should have?" I ask.

"Yes."

"But you're Kazekage, and those people are just as important and probably have been waiting here like a million hours…"

"No, they arrived about ten minutes before you, and no, not nearly as important." And I held him tighter. And for the first time since he held me, I looked at him again, and bit back the urge to cry again. He just looked at me, and I looked back.

And then he kissed me, and his hands ran through my hair, and it was more then I could ever want. If I could bottle this moment and sell it to people who had depression, I'd be a millionaire. And his breath was sweet and his lips was smooth and my fingertips brushed his cheek hesitantly and then rested there and then I had to breathe, but I pressed my lips to his again so quickly afterwards you couldn't tell. This was all I ever wanted.

And we broke apart and I stood on my tip-toes so I could rest my forehead against his, our noses touched and I could feel his breathe against my cheeks. And it felt like I'd inhaled about 4tonnes of helium and I would float up to the ceiling if he couldn't hold me tight enough.

And I kissed him again and felt our open mouths move together and I pressed myself to him and _knew_ this is where I belonged. Where I still and _always_ _will_ belong. And I leaned against his chest and breathed in his scent. He held me with one arm to him and opened the office door for a moment.

"Sanako, I am taking the rest of the day off. Tell the ministers all is cancelled."

"But sir… all those people…!" I could hear the distress in the receptionist's voice, the scratchy noise a rolley chair made against the floor and I felt for her, she would have to deal with all the angry people whose appointments had been cancelled.

"That is all, Sanako."

"Yes, sir." I heard the resentment in her voice and she sighed and sat back in her rolley chair, I also heard the noise of a phone being picked up.

And he led me across to the lift and as soon as the doors closed kissed me again, his hand knowingly finding the button for the right floor automatically. And all pity for the receptionist, flew from my mind, in fact, everything but him flew from my mind. It was impossible to have him so near and think at once.

And I heard the lift make a noise and he led me up the hall to what I knew was his room.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**No, I'm not that cruel :P this whole story isn't going to be her finding Gaara **_**again**_**. Though I think if this whole thing was her asking strangers if they knew somebody called Gaara I'd have more then just Thornwrath to deal with. :P (love youu thornwrath!) And you Joiz.D!! She has a life besides stalking people she hasn't heard from in years. Gosh. ( :P ) **

**Hahahha, to Vampire-f4i that pun was actually hilarious. But probably just to me, but hahahah! You rule. **

**Also thanks to Inky dear for her infinite knowledge of what a third installment of a story is (not a triquel?... sounds like treacle.) Also Aly Plz, same reason. **

**LOVE YOU SOOOOO MUCH!! THANKS SOOOOOOO MANY BILLIONS FOR REVIEWING I GOT SOOOOO MANY!! 3. **

**Looooove, to-love-is-to-lie. **


	4. Where were you?

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**Chapter Four: **

_Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting. -Alan Dean Foster_

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**Friday 23/8/18 **

When I woke up, he wasn't there. I had opened my eyes, expecting to see his face, but then rolling off the edge of the bed in surprise of the emptiness that filled where he should have been. Fear gripped me.

I had lain awake most of the night watching him, scared of exactly this. I would wake up, and he would be gone. It never actually happened, I didn't really find him. I'd just mysteriously be in the Kazekage's rooms but it would have nothing to do with him. I quickly dressed, pulled my hair up and didn't really think of anything else, I ran out of the room and skidded along the corridor.

There was a little voice at the back of my head telling me this was stupid, and that I remember what happened clearly and that I should wait in his room and not be a crazy person and run into the halls like a mad thing.

But I didn't listen. It was all too perfect, and of course it hadn't have been real. It never would be, I was insane, I should be in a padded room somewhere where I can't end up places and hurt myself. I should-

But I didn't get to finish that thought, because I was running too fast, and by the time I registered there was some most likely very important person coming out of a doorway, I had already run into the edge of the now-open door, and knocked into the person. And from there, everything went _very_ dark.

"Who in heaven _is_ this, Sir?!" a flustered woman's voice, edged with annoyance, she sounded old… aged 50 to 60, maybe. My eyelids fluttered and I groaned.

"She's a very good friend of mine." Gaara's voice was flat. "And I really hope she won't be in heaven for a long while yet."

Gaara's voice. He was here. Maybe it had been a dream and I'd only dreamed that I'd dreamed me finding him. Of course I had, he was here, but my eyebrow _ached_…. And then the familiar smell of a hospital ward reached my nose and it all came flooding back. Gahhh…

"I don't know about that, sir, judging by this."

"I know, it's a slim chance, isn't it?"

"Mhm, sir." The woman's voice was disapproving and I felt cold… and pain… and it was too light in here. I groan.

"She's waking, sir." The woman said and I heard footsteps in my direction.

"You know, I _knew_ I should have locked all the doors." I hear a dry voice to my left and I open my eyes and stick my tongue out, suddenly, this felt a hell of a lot like high school.

"Yeah, you reckon?" I tell him angrily, and groan again. "My head kills… eh…"

"You split your eyebrow and have a bruise from a door edge... as well as a horrible headache, I'm assuming."

"What did I do!?"

"You ran into the Minister for Communications."

"…Oh, he's okay, isn't he?"

"Yes, you're lucky he's tall, and you're lucky you were nearly half his size. Otherwise I think you would have a cracked skull and the Minister would be in a wheelchair."

"Great." I frown and regret it. "Owwww."

"Stitches, remember?"

"Oh…"

And suddenly he laughed. "You know, as sick as this is, I'm so glad I can do this again."

And I glared, but he laughed and so I took his hand because my mind and my body argue too much. "It's nothing out of the ordinary for me still." I grin.

He smiles back. "I can tell."

I laugh, and regret it again as my eyebrow stung. "Once I nearly tore a nerve trying to turn around in a vent."

"…Why were you in a vent?"

"I was stuck in a stinky English room."

"Ahh…"

"The sensei locked me in."

"I see."

"So I had to get out somehow!"

"Of course…"

"Stop looking at me like that!"

"And the windows…?"

"I _did_ check them."

"And there was no extra key?"

"Well, I don't know but it smelt so bad I had to get out as fast as possible." I said simply and sat up.

He smiled almost sadly. "It feels as if nothing has changed."

I grin back. "It's great, isn't it?"

He shook his head slightly and stood. "I was actually dragged out of an important meeting to see why the Minister for Communications had yelled 'Girl down!' in the halls." He sighed. "And I've got to get back."

"Don't go." I said almost desperately. "I'll be assassinated by the nurse."

"You can stay in my room, as long as you _stay_ there." He said giving me a dry look.

I shrugged. "I won't make any promises." And gladly get out of the very much too sterile hospital bed and walk up the corridor with him, and promptly fell straight asleep as soon as I hit the bed. I was so tired. And now I'm up, and writing this after my power nap, and Gaara's still out doing Kazekage business. I don't like how much of his time I know it'll take away from me.

The view is amazing, the entire City was built around this building and so everyway you look all you can see is houses, and for some reason that is strangely amazing. And beyond that is just the faintest line of orange where the city would melt into sand dunes. I still feel disorientated, like this whole thing isn't real, it shouldn't be.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**11:23**

Gaara is reading. It seems my diaries (well, not really _diaries_, more like those 192 page A4 exercise books) have come in more then handy, for the second time.

"Tell me about Sound." Gaara said, I was curled up next to him and was marveling at the way my hands fit into his.

"It was… not so bad, really, until up around the end when I think everything was going a bit downhill."

"Tell me."

"From the start?"

"Yes."

"Er, well, um… Naruto and I made it into Sound and… um…" how to start. "I punched Sasuke in the face?"

And Gaara laughed. "So you did get my letters."

"No, just weird creepy co-incidence."

"Ah, I see."

"I know, you didn't think I had it in me?"

"No, I could see that happening. You have hoards of repressed rage."

"Of course." I laugh. He rested his chin on my shoulder and I could feel his breath on my neck and shivered.

"Go on."

I ran my fingers along his and thought. "Hmm… well, my room-mate was Tayuya, who was an evil bitch but I think at the end we had an understanding of some kind… and Naruto shared a room with the Man-with-Seven-then-Eight-then-Nine-chins and Kim-Kimimaro…." My voice softened as I said his name, and I held Gaara's hands tighter.

"Who was he?"

"He was… well, he was a little anti-social, and mean to everyone but me and occasionally Naruto and he had almost silver hair and red dots justtt…." I pause so I can turn to face him and point to my eyebrows. "Just here."

Gaara's mouth twitched at my expression as I was holding my eyebrows down. I ignored this and continued. "And he was way to tall, and didn't drink coffee, which was good because I could drink his share and he loved the Snake-rapist and I still reckon they had multiple teacher-student relationships… and he wanted to take over Sound but wasn't allowed because I think Orochimaru wanted to leave it to Kabuto, but Kabuto really didn't care I don't think and Kabuto! Gah! He was mean- but he did fix my head that one time… and my leg that other time… and didn't tell on me that time he figured out it was me who broke a vent…. We fit a mattress in there, you know…. Well, it was just me but if I had of asked Kimimaro he would have forbid me to do it and tied me to a chair, so it's not like I could tell him… and then a girl, you know, I didn't even know her but I think I drove her insane… anyway, I gave her a concussion and she refused to sleep or walk under a vent for god knows how long…" I had been so caught up in my rambling I'd zoned out of this world and back into Sound, I shook my head and looked back at Gaara.

Gaara was looking at me, concerned. "I'm confused…"

I sigh. "It's so hard to tell everything! I don't wanna leave stuff out."

"Well just start from the beginning and go from there."

"Well… so me and Naruto made it to sound, and I met Tayuya and stuff and ah! The fat-man! He was evil, but had really good taste in coffee, but not as good as Spiddly-man, who was Sasuke's room mate, but I didn't meet him till ages later…. Mainly coz Sasuke was a bastard." I pause. "I've gone off-track again…"

He nodded dryly. "Yes."

I huff. "Gah… Wait!" I sad brightly and then roll enthusiastically off the bed and go to my small shoulder-bag and dig through the gum-wrappers and napkins with addresses on them to find my Diary. Once I'd pulled it out I didn't want to give it away again, but I'd given my other one to Kimimaro so why would this be hard? This was Gaara… but there had been so many things I'd planned to accidentally leave out… falling into the pool, Temari…. Kimimaro's feelings for me, Naruto telling me Gaara didn't care… I only wanted Gaara to hear good things, things that'd make him happy to hear. But unless I glued some pages together he'd have to read it all.

I sigh, and prepare myself to let another little bit of me go. "This will have everything."

"You still write in these things?"

I nod and grin nervously. "Yep."

Unlike Kimimaro, Gaara just took it silently and started reading, after quickly nodding thanks, I curled up next to him again, and tried to sleep, I had a 15min power nap and woke up again, he was still awake reading away, sitting up still.

I turned over to watch his face. I wanted to know where he was up too, I wanted to read over his shoulder and see his reaction, I tried to discreetly sit myself up a bit, but it didn't work and his eyes flicked to me and I grinned sheepishly, I felt like I was the bad one here and I scolded myself. It's MY diary damnit! And sat up more, craning my neck to see where he was reading, and almost regretted it instantly.

_**11:34 **_

_I know why it was familiar…. The situation with what-s'is-name. My heart aches thinking about it. _

_Gaara sighed, and plucked the knife from my hands. "You have to cut side-ways, other wise you'll cut right through the part we're meant to be looking at." _

_I blink at him, and he looked up, raising an eyebrow. "You talk?" I ask._

_"I was wondering the same question about you." he told me, voice bland. I smile, and shrug, we continued on with our usual silence_

_When I realized why it felt strange, I nearly died. What-s'is-name wasn't like Gaara, he seemed shy. More reserved. Gaara was feared sub-consciously by everyone. Everyone avoided him, what-s'is-name seemed to avoided everyone. _

"I remember that." Gaara says after a while.

"Me too."

"You really sucked at science."

"I was in the top class!" I said indignantly.

"I always wondered about that." I glared at him and he grinned-slightly (equivalent to laughing) and went back to reading. And I read with him, and it was strange because it was almost like being back at Sound, and I remembered everything and laughed when something that I had found hilarious happened and flushed when I suddenly realized how many mentions of Gaara there actually were in there. I'd never actually read this, I don't even know why I keep Diaries, but I do. It's like my own little book about me, so if I ever forget who I am I can read it and know I'm this person who trips over pot-plants and Ministers for Communications.

Eventually, I fell asleep, resting my head on Gaara's shoulder, I'd read for a while, but I knew how this story ended, and it was like 2am and I really couldn't be bothered to stay awake.

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**Helloooo!! Hope you guys are all good! I LOVE YOU ALL SOOOOO MUCH! You're reactions to last chappie were quite hilarious, really, you guys are genius. Gah. My fingers are like purple, it hailed today!! :D it was awesome. I love hail, I used to put out buckets and collect it and then freeze it so on a hot day I could eat it. Of course, the other option of just getting an ice cube instead of previously-frozen hailstones never occurred to me. God knows why. Anyway!! Off-track there! **

**Back to me saying how much I really really love you all…. LOVE YOU SOOOOOOO SOOOO SO SO SO SO SOOOOOOOOO SO VERY SOOOOOOO SOOOO VERY VERY VERYYYYYY MUUUCH! **

**(love you) **

**Love, to-love-is-to-lie. **

**P.S. JoiZ.D you're HILARIOUS! Your, like 3 reviews made me laugh. LOTS. :D **


	5. Suna Clothes

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**Chapter Five:**

_And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said he would have to wait until Thursday to be connected. – Spike Milligan_

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**Saturday 24/8/18**

He wasn't there again. I got up to freaking out and had thrown my (I need new clothes, badly!) jeans on and ran straight for the door, but I misjudged the amount of space I'd have to turn around and hit the opposite wall with a bang. Some important-looking person helped me to the nurse. This time I only re-opened my eyebrow, not nearly put the Minister for Communications in a wheelchair.

The nurse and I had a good chat though, without Gaara around to make her jumpy she seems nice, despite spraying my eyebrow with Iodine and it stung like hell and I moved and she accidentally got it in my eye. So now I have a red iodine-ringed eye plus a patch over my stitches and I found my way back to the room eventually, Gaara was outside.

"You know, I left for about ten minutes."

I look at the ground sheepishly. "You weren't there."

"You sleep in too long." He said, but I didn't care, I kissed him and he looked at my eye.

"Your eyes red." He said simply.

"The nurse missed with the iodine."

He winced. "Ow."

I nod. "But it's okay, she had lots of eye-drops." I said happily, holding up a bottle of a strange water-salt saline mixture proudly.

"I'd gone to get Sanako to order in some Clothes, I got the sizes from your old ones."

"Give up my jeans!?" I asked, horrified.

"Can you at least wash them?"

I contemplate this, then nod, and had to borrow a pair of strange high-waisted black work-pants from the receptionist and surveyed myself in the mirror.

"These are really uncomfortable. I feel like I'm seventy."

Gaara shrugged. "Better then week-old-jeans."

"No way, week old jeans have a certain charm to them."

"No, they don't." he assured me and sighed. "I have to go now, various people to deal with."

I was really confused for a second, and then laugh. "I forgot you were Kazekage then." And I kissed him on the lips, I didn't want him to go, but now it'd become evident he'd have too. A lot.

He grinned slightly. "Good." And left. And then came back in. "If you want anything, go ask Sanako, nobody comes in on Saturdays."

I nod and lie back on the bed. And now I'm writing this. And I'm intensely bored.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**6:34 **

I spent today trying to acquaint myself with some of the staff and corridors of the Kazekages offices. The personal quarters are two long hallways where there are about seven rooms per side, each holds a member of staff, eg. Nurse, cook, I actually ran into the where the Kazekage is supposed to live, which was a huge suit with two lounges, dining room, bathroom and two bedrooms, it was like a house attached to the offices. The suit Gaara lived in was much smaller, and had a bedroom, bathroom, and small living room. With a desk, couch and laptop on it. I think Gaara just doesn't like the space, the big, empty cold space.

I had a long interesting conversation with a tall olive-skinned woman called Liriru who was a maid and did general cleaning around here, all of the other staff had generally shied away from me muttering about something not being proper, these women only wore veils and the light puffy pants, rather then the long sash that hid their arms and back of their neck. When I'd asked Liriru about why the women here covered their faces she shrugged. "Tradition." She explained. "We're Suna women, what else do we do?"

At which I'd hotly launched into a huge speech about how we damn well show our faces. She'd shrugged at this and then excused herself to go back to cleaning.

The open area's of the Kazekages offices were two buildings with a hall way in-between them, it was a long open red and gold bridge with more of the carved golden statues at the end and lavishly decorated gutters again. If it was one thing I could see about Suna, it was filled with History. The décor wasn't something Gaara had set up, I could see that, if anything, I think if he had the chance or option he'd tear it down, but since I had a feeling many people had pride in their Kazekage Office (more like Motel) he just left it.

Here I spent most of the day, looking out over the City and its vastness, it was a nice place, almost cool, but I now know that come sundown it's like ice outside here. I swear, Suna is possibly the worst place on earth, either blistering hot or freezing cold. Damnit Gaara! Of all the places you decide to govern you choose the one with the terrible weather.

Eventually I went back inside before the sunset and lay back on the bed, and had a sleep. Now I am writing this, and contemplating whether to go find Gaara or not.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**11:12 **

"Are you just going to read and read and read and read?" I say, we sat in the small lounge room, and I lay on the couch next to where he sat and read intently.

His eyes flick to me and back, he grins slightly and I scowl. But I couldn't be too angry on such a full stomach, I hadn't eaten lunch and never realized how hungry I was until I saw dinner, the cook is amazing…. There is a _cook_! And when I took Gaara's and my plate into the kitchen everyone gasped and it scared me so much I dropped one, at which I turned purple and then immediately dropped to the floor to clean it and apologized profusely. All through this the entire kitchen staff had been still in amazement, half way through collecting the bits of plate, I'd looked up and surveyed the room.

"Uh…. Do you guys have some newspaper anywhere?" I asked hesitantly.

They snapped out of their stupor and into action, getting broom's and newspaper and helping me up and asking if I was okay and if I needed anything and dusting my clothes off and I didn't know what to do.

"No, it was my fault, I'm clumsy." I said, blushing.

All of them immediately shook their heads and denied it, and then I got annoyed. "But I am! I dropped a good plate and oh… it scratched the floor too!" I sigh. "Damnit! How _isn't_ that clumsy!?"

And then a small brown woman frowned at me. "Your genuine, aren't you Miss?" she said, a hint of surprise and amusement in her voice. "She's not joking." She said to the others.

I look annoyed again. "'Course I'm not! Why would I be?"

"Everyone knows, you're the Kazekages girl." The outgoing woman said again, others elbowed her as they walked past.

I was about to reply that that didn't have anything to do with me not being able to look after myself but Gaara walked in, at this, even the outspoken one had shut up and looked down, he hadn't said anything but I saw it was only a matter of minutes before he'd laugh at me, so I decided that the kitchen staff would have heart-attacks if he did and followed him out quickly, waving g'bye at the same time, some of the women and men there grinned at my ignorance but I didn't care.

I was right, and he laughed. I glared and hit his shoulder. "You could have warned me!"

"I wasn't fast enough, I heard a scream and the sound of breaking porcelain and decided I'd wait a few minutes otherwise you'd break more dishes." He teased and I hit him harder.

"You're a bastard. A mean, evil, _bastard_." I tell him slowly.

He grins at me again and I shove him away, he sighs. "Come on, it wasn't that mean."

I ignore him. "You're a horrible person."

"You needed to meet some more staff anyway."

"Go fall in a hole and die." I used some Shikamaru vocab and walked faster, using my snooty eyes-closed-nose-up face.

"You're more likely too if you don't open your eyes."

I open an eye and stick my tongue out at him, he eventually stops and I walk to the end of the hall before I realize he stopped for a reason, the room was back there. By the time I got back he had already had enough time to think of several mean insults, so I went and used the bathroom and he was still going by the time I got out, so I threw wet soap at him and laughed when I hit him in the face.

It felt like home, like when we were sixteen and bored as hell and had lots of homework but couldn't be bothered to do it. And I laughed so hard at the look on his face (and the blue soap on his face too) he had to smile too. And we just sat on the couch in the small lounge room and talked. Me lying with my legs over the armrest of the couch looking up at him and him just sitting with his feet up on the couch, I had my fingers laced with his again. I loved how he was happy, I loved how he smiled now, like he used too, he seemed somewhat… not nicer, but free-er now. Like he didn't have the same secrets as he did back in Konoha. Maybe Sasuke was right, he had business with Suna, and he wouldn't rest until it was finished, and even if he had managed to make himself Kazekage in the process, he'd done it. Something about him had changed slightly, and I know he wasn't all smiles and happy like Naruto, and didn't sit there and be affectionate and mooshy, but he was still my friend, and he was still there, and to me, that was still more then I could ask for. The kisses and sex came somewhat second.

But I went and showered and when I came back out he was reading and now I'm bored. And I'm back to lying with my head against his leg looking at the way his hand fits into mine, something I don't think I will ever get tired of, I laced my fingers with his and kissed his hand, his eyes flicked to mine.

"I really can't concentrate with you doing that."

"Too bad." I said, smiling at him.

He rolled his eyes and sank back more into the couch, and continued reading, eventually I drifted into a half sleep, dreaming of Konoha and Sound and wondering what Kimimaro was doing and how Naruto was, and though it really seemed like forever, I've only been here around two weeks, and he'd probably be still adjusting. I wonder if Sasuke likes not having to share Naruto with anyone, I wonder if Shika, Sakura, Lee, Ino, Kakashi and Iruka know that I left. I wonder if they know the full story.

I woke up with a jolt when I felt Gaara's arm around me (as I still had a firm hold of his hand) tighten. I opened my heavy eyes. "Huh?"

"You thought I was there…." He said quietly.

This was the bit I wouldn't have told him by choice, this was the part that I would have left out unless he had _specifically_ asked, I stiffen and don't look at him. This was the bit that I wouldn't tell anyone really, I was embarrassed by it, who faints into a pool? And not only that, but that book had my whole feelings about everything in it. I had never felt so vulnerable really. Not even when I gave Kimimaro my other Diary, because then there'd never been anything about him in it.

"I know, silly, isn't it…" I said softly again, and pretended to go back to sleep. But I knew he knew I was awake, he knew that I felt every little twitch of his hand and arm when he read on.

"Temari…" he said, and I knew he was ticked off. He had that low rough dangerous voice on, and I held his hand tighter.

"Don't blame her, she was sorry."

"I doubt it." There was sometime awfully … suspicious in his voice. I didn't like it, but had the strangest feeling I'd find out later.

"She _left_ afterwards." I said quietly.

"And came straight here, saying that …'something had come up' and she didn't like Sound anymore."

I sat up. "She came here, and didn't tell you?"

He shook his head. "I didn't even question her about it, I didn't care… I mean, I got the hint you were there but that place is huge and I really doubted she saw you."

"Did she know you wrote?"

"Yes."

So he'd been betrayed too, not just me, it seems there were people everywhere just looking for some opportunity to keep me from getting to Gaara. But I sighed. "Don't be hard on her, I came eventually."

"You could have avoided all this." He motioned to the diary.

I paused, and nodded, I felt a strange heavy feeling in my chest. "Yeah, I could have…. But I didn't, and here I am anyway. The fact I ended up in hospital was what brought Naruto and Sasuke back together, and despite everything ended up horribly wrong, really, well…." I pause, trying to find a reason. "You should see the way they… _fit_ together. It's amazing."

"You'd never think it." Gaara said absent-mindedly.

I shrug. "I know, but I think Naruto needs somebody like Sasuke to keep him in his place, and Sasuke needs somebody passionate like Naruto to be reminded there's more to life then cold-blooded revenge." I stop to think again. "I don't think it's just love for them, if they both had their way I reckon one of them would be dead by now, but I think its need. Absolute need for one-another. The whole liking one-another came later." I grin.

By now, Gaara had gone back to reading, I grin to myself. I knew he was listening still. I lay back down and went back to staring at the roof, and basking in Gaara's wonderful always cold but much-loved glow.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Monday 25/8/18 **

"No! No, no, no, no …no!" I held up various peach, tangerine and pastel colored garments in the traditional lightweight Suna fashion, I made a face. "_Nooooo_."

Of course, nobody was in the room. Gaara had left early, as usual, this time I'd only made it half way down the hall in a mad insane worry before I calmed myself down and convinced myself to go back to the room, on the door I found a note.

_'There are clothes on the bed._' I pursed my lips angrily and scrunched the note up.

"Stupid Kazekages and their snooty behavior… I want my jeans back!" I pout and go inside, annoyed that he knew me well enough to put the note on the _outside_ of the door. And there, there were the clothes from hell. Woman clothes, clothes that I saw the people outside wear, the long puffy pants, complicated crossing sashes and veils. Also, I found out the sashes have nothing to do with sleeves, they have strange attachable sleeves that attach to your shoulder with no shirt attached, their idea of a shirt is a wrap-around length of cloth. Nooooo.

Like I said, NOOOOO!

NO.

I am going to find my jeans. I am NOT wearing this. At all. Nooooo.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**HELLOOO ALLL. THANKS MILLIONS AND BILLIONS FOR REVIEWING!! I'VE GOT SOOOOOOOSOSOOSOOSOSOSOOSOOOOOO MANY FOR LIKE FOUR CHAPPPSSS! THANKS SOOOOOO MILLIONS MUCH! LOVE YOUUU!**

**Haha, adecge, yes, bringing moderate quality justice, I like it. :P **

**LOVE YOU. **

**To-love-is-to-lie. **


	6. Laundry

……………………………………………………………………………………………**..**

**Chapter Six:**

_An income tax form is like a laundry list -- either way you lose your shirt.__ - __Fred Allen_

……………………………………………………………………………………………**..**

**Midday**

I spent several hours locating the laundry, where I found a huge, steam-filled wooden room with various screens for walls, and several messy-haired women in only the pants and wrap-around top.

"Uh…Hello." I start, as I walked into the first room. "Um…" I approach a screen, and pause. What the hell was I supposed to do with it? Knock? And so I did, and my hand went through the screen and I went purple, it was obviously thinner then I had thought. There were gasps and screams as I hastily pulled my hand back. Umm… okay. So I'd scream too if I saw a strange hand 'knock' on the screen too.

One of them stood, I could see their shadow, she walked over and thrust the screen aside, glaring madly and whoever would be on the other side, which, by then, I'd made sure wasn't me. I looked on from the doorway back at the entrance to the laundry.

She was around her late-thirties, and pregnant. She had the normal looks of a woman born in Suna, bronze skin, and long dark hair. I hid behind the door frame when she looked around. I had the strangest feeling she wouldn't care if I knew Gaara or not.

And so for about an hour and a half I sat there, contemplating over when I wouldn't look suspicious if I came around and asked for my jeans. After I got bored, and figured I'd always look suspicious I just went over and made sure to put my hands in my Pajama pockets, so they'd have no way to recognize me. I remember thinking, Haha! Sora you crafty genius minx.

One of them opened, a timid-looking Suna girl in went clothes. "Hello? Oh!" And she hit the floor, I went purple again and hit the floor too, shaking her shoulders.

"Are you okay!?" I asked, worried, looking up I looked around. "What's wrong with her!? Did I make her sick! Nobody here knows CPR!?" I stand again and throw my hands to my head and look around insanely, everyone else was now on the floor too.

"No!! WHAT HAVE I DONE!?" I say loudly. "Have I broken all your legs!? Was that screen keeping you ALIVE!? I knew it!" I get more and more distressed. "I'm so sorry! I'll make sure your screen is better! Will that fix your legs I-,"

And then the girl who had opened the screen looked up and fixed a worried gaze on me. "Um, Miss, Uh…" She trailed off, and sat up, looking for support in the others, some had raised their heads in confusion.

I stop looking around frantically for some important doctor who may have strayed down to the laundry accidentally at just the right time to treat about 30-40 broken legs. And have several wheelchairs with him. At least 45, just in case. After snapping out of this, I looked down, and could have almost cried with relief.

"YOU'RE ALIVE! I DIDN'T BREAK YOUR LEGS!" and I hit the floor too and hug the scared young woman. "Don't scare me like that! Phew, I thought I was in big enough trouble for the whole… uh… I mean I thought my friend would be in trouble for breaking a screen, god, she'd laugh if I had broken lots of people's legs… by… uh… scaring them lots." I say hesitantly, and the girl I was hugging looked as if she would explode from shock at any minute, so I let her go. "Very sorry." I say earnestly.

"Miss… Uh… I was _bowing_; it is a sign of respect to the Kazekage's Lady." The girl I was kneeling next too explained. "Our legs are fine."

I glare. "Bowing!? Why!?" I demand.

"You are the Kazekage's lady, why wouldn't we?" She asked again, hesitantly, then turned white and fell to the ground again. "I'm sorry! That was out of place, forgive me, Miss."

"No, no, it's… er, fine. Next time, don't bow. Waving would be fine, but no bowing."

"Miss… don't you think that's, out of place for us to be doing?" another said.

I turned to her. "Why should I be bowed too? I'm just as good as you guys."

They all shook their heads and sighed. "What brings you here, Miss?"

I smile at them. "Do you happen to have a pair of really old, scuffed jeans lying around the place? And call me Sorano, or Sora." I say happily.

"Jeans…. We had a few rags come down yesterday, we washed them, but then decided they were too unfit to wear anyway."

I nod happily. "That'd be them! Do you have them anywhere?"

"In the… er, recycling m'am."

My face fell. "Oh…" I pause. "Where's that?"

They all look appalled, and one of them wide-eyed and worried gave me directions to where all the rubbish went, I smiled at her cheerily. "Thanks a billion! Those jeans are great. Couldn't want another pair."

I heard one say quietly. "I dunno, miss…."

I shrug at this. "Sorano. No miss's here, most aren't even convinced I'm a girl." I grin at them. "Sad world, isn't it?"

They all look appalled again and I sigh. "Humorous lot you are." I say grumpily and wander off the find my jeans. I do find them, they smell fragrant for something regarded as a rag, I had to go swimming to get them though, in a hellhole filled with fabric that all looks the same and is sticky and torn and messed up. I find my jeans in the centre of the mess and dive out of the huge bin and gasp for air, to come face to face with what looked to be the garbage man.

"Uhh…"

"Ummm." We both stare at each other for a while, I hop out of the bin with my jeans and bow clumsily. "Have a nice day!"

And with that, I run back to the human-powered laundry (which I will try to convince Gaara that washing machines are better! Give the poor girls a break, also, why aren't there men in there!?) wave hastily to the people who bowed at first but learned better of it when I stopped in my tracks and told them all to damn well get up before I call a doctor. After slipping over twice on the wet ground I tell them I'll be back later to fix that hole, almost all of them stand quickly and yell "NOOOOOOOOO!" And I pout and stand at the door.

"What, you don't want to see me again?" I tease, and grin. "Sorry about the screen!" and bounce off up to get lost for a while.

………………………………………………………………………………………..

**4pm**

Bored to bits. You have nooooooo idea. I suddenly feel useless, I need something to do. I won't just sit here for the rest of my sad days. My jeans smell so nice, and their so comfy. Rags! Pfft. As if.

My T-shirt, I didn't bother to look for, as I figured the garbage man didn't want me in the bin. I am wearing one of the wrap-around lengths of pastel-orange fabric. And they are uncomfy as hell; I also had to take the straps off my bra to wear it since lime-green straps don't look too sophisticated. I really don't trust strapless bra's… I trust them even less then I trust Kabuto. And I really don't…. didn't trust Kabuto.

_Didn't_. That part of my life seems, well, _over_. I doubt I'll ever see Kabuto again. I feel slightly cheered at this, seeing as I really felt kinda nervous around him, and try not to notice the fact that if I don't see him again, it's not likely I'll see various other people again.

Anyway, I feel naked, worried, and itchy. Though my eyebrow is healing nicely, I get the stitches out soon. But still, that's not the worst of my problems, most of which are related to that stupid Suna-gear. Sleeveless strapless tops are evil, strapless bra's are worse, and it's. so. Very. _Very_. Very. ITCHY!

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**4:34**

Tried on pants and crossy-overy sashy thing. I look very, er, uncomfortable and out of place. The pants are nice, don't beat jeans, but not bad. Kinda made you self-conscious at times because you can't feel them much, and I get increasingly worried I'm not wearing pants.

Crossy-overy sashy thing isn't bad either. It's just this stupid wrap-around boobtube-like constricto-top that insists I wear it without bra-straps on. Also decided I'm not wearing the attachable-sleeves. No. I would feel stupid and like Sasuke, him with his strange long sleeve-arm-band things. I decide it's a battle I won't win, and replace the non-pants (coz their hardly there) with jeans, and venture out into the building again. I wonder where Gaara is….

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**7:29**

I love him, after he'd finished grinning slightly (in other words, laughing) at my stupid constricto-top and sash-thing, we just ate sitting on the lounge, where he read. I figure if he kept a diary of his time when I wasn't there, all I'd do was read it too.

In the middle of me picking out the olives from a strange pie we'd been given he paused.

"I thought I told the laundry girls to make sure those jeans were put in the recycling."

I sit bolt upright, and look offended. "You were going to recycle my jeans!?"

He shrugged. "I knew _you_ wouldn't."

"Well, there was a lot I had to do to get them, wanna hear a story?" I grin, it sounded like home again. And he'd say no, but I'd tell it anyway.

"Do I have too?"

"Yep! Okay, well, this whole bowing thing has got to stop, if not for their knee's, for my own personal safety, well, I tried knocking on a screen…" I went on to recite my day's story and loved how he laughed when I described the garbage man's face.

"You can't keep yourself out of trouble." He said, exasperated.

I grin mischievously. "I know, it's great, isn't it?"

He sighs. "Yeah, great." He rubs his temples, and I laugh, he looks at me and raises an eyebrow.

"I remember I fell on your doorstep looking for a lost kitten. You made that face."

He sighs again. And goes back to reading, I shrug, and go back to removing olives from what was once something like a pie. I like evenings with Gaara, it's like nothing has changed. At all, I can lie about on the floor and chat on about things that may not have even happened and he'll smile occasionally, and glare and get annoyed by I wouldn't mind at all, and that's why I think…. He loves me. Because I don't care if he's angry at me I won't be afraid… well, it depends, I do know he can be insanely frightening at times.

And now I'm writing this, sprawled a mixture of the floor, the couch and the coffee table, if that's possible. Gaara is still reading.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Tuesday 26/8/18 **

Things I learnt today:

Don't offer to do your own laundry.

Consticto-tops SUCK.

The minister for Communications is surprisingly forgiving

Mascara hurts, a lot. Especially the water-proof kind

Sanako isn't that bad, she's quite helpful when you don't seem like an insane fan-girl who hasn't showered in days.

Gaara is forever trying to get rid of my jeans. Must protect them at all times, soon enough I think I'll have to shower with them for their own protection.

I really need a haircut, my hair is waaaaay to long nowadays.

And, last but possibly least…

Never stick your head in small decorative vases that line the halls. Not because you'll get stuck, but because small scorpions like to make nests there.

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**HELLO ALLLL!! LOVE YOU SOOOOO MUCH!! I really do. THANKS A BILLION MILLION for the reviews. Seriously, I think I love you. Really, I do. **

**Thanks sooooo much!! **

**Love, to-love-is-to-lie **

**P.s. since I haven't done this in a whiles: No, I don't own Naruto/anything to do with him. I do own Sora and all her insane dysfunctional-ness. **


	7. I Heart Suna

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Chapter Seven: **

_There are people whom one loves immediately and forever. Even to know they are alive in the world with one is quite enough.__ - __Nancy Spain_

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Thursday 28/8/18 **

"Just wear it." Gaara was bored. I wasn't. I was not going to live in that constricto-top for long. I'd rather buy a house in one of the Fatmans chins and live there for several prosperous years and grow corn.

"Noooo. No. No. _Nooooo_." I say for what seems like the 45th time. "This, this is a _curtain_. Maybe even a sarong at best, not, I repeat, _not_, something a person like me will ever wear in public… without lots of blackmail, bribery and possibly threatening." I say sternly.

"We can handle that."

"Sarcasm." I glare at him.

"Since when have you ever even been that concerned about what you wear?"

"Have you _tried_ these things?"

"No, but it's just a-,"

"No, no, no. shh. Have. You. Tried. One. Of. These. Things. On?"

"I don't see-,"

"Sh.shshshsh. Have you?"

"No!"

"Figures. Well, you see, imagine having a tight, colorful, gross curtain wrapped around your balls." I pause, and then continue. "For the _entire_ city to see." I say sternly.

"Umm…"

"_That_, my friendly friend friend friend, is what these things are like for us." I tell him. "And also, why the hell I will refuse now, and refuse _always_, to wear it."

"Why do none of the other women refuse to wear them, then?"

"Because they all break their legs when somebody enters the room."

"That makes no sense."

"It makes plenty of sense!"

"No, it doesn't!" Both of us were getting pissed off now, not because I wouldn't wear the constricto-top, but mainly because I was damn sure what I said made sense.

"Yeah, it damn well does!"

"Okay, why do none of the other women refuse to wear them? Because they break there legs when people enter the room. No, it makes no sense."

"That's _not_ what I said!"

"Yes, it is!"

"I stated clearly and precisely that it's because Suna is a sexist city where people must go as far as to bow when somebody enters to room, Women were raised to think they are inferior." I tell him.

"You did not say that." He scoffs.

"Did so."

"You're a liar."

"Am not!"

"Just admit you damn well did not say that!"

"No. I won't lie!"

"You just did!"

"No I didn't!

"You're so frustrating!"

"You're such a bastard!"

And with that, we both went off in a huff, me to go ask the kitchens for the fattiest thing they had, and him to, uh, read probably. Of course, when I came back with cake I offered him some and he just looked at me and replied. "We all know you have terrible taste in cake."

"That was Naruto!" I say defensively. "And for that, I'll just eat it." I poke my tongue out at him and sit down.

Ahhh… life is good.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**11:51**

"...Gaahhhh…" I groan. "Okay, you win." I mutter.

"That what you said made absolutely no sense?"

"No, no, that I have terrible taste in cake." I say and then collapse back on couch, my head over the armrest.

He chuckles.

I grin. "You sounded like an old man then. Maybe you should grow a beard."

I could feel him glaring at me, I raise my hand. "Snaaap." I laugh a bit. He sighs and I knew he'd gone back to reading. Smiling, I move so I could curl up on the couch and sleep.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Saturday 30/8/18 **

Today, I snapped. For the last three days, despite me declaring I'll never wear them, I have worn the constricto-tops from hell.

NO MORE!! Today, I am going to the nearest stupid clothing shop that sells NORMAL clothes and I'm getting some NORMAL things with the rest of the money I had before.

Gaara is out, but I figure I can manage to use the busses and find someplace to get t-shirts on my own, I'll only be an hour, It's not like I'm a picky person.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**5:34 **

Things I've learnt today:

. According to about 40-45 odd 'Ninja' _and_ Gaara it is highly dangerous for me now to leave ze home fort.

. Also, apparently Gaara should have probably told me earlier, he just thought I wouldn't leave the home fort.

. He also thought if I did, he'd catch me/ the 'ninja' would find me in time.

. Gaara obviously doesn't take into account my talent for being an invisible escape artist enough.

And last, and probably the most important of all these problems:

. SUNA SELLS HARDLY ANY NORMAL CLOTHING!! 

I had gotten out into the street around 10am. Easy done, I just walked out, straight past various guards and the receptionist. None of them said anything to me, so I said nothing back and then made my way to the train station; people were wearing their thicker clothing, which I took as a cue to wear my summer ones, seeing as their cold weather is like my sweltering hot weather.

I had thought nothing of it, why shouldn't I be able to go out and buy some normal T-shirts? I mean, I don't do anything anyway. So, of course, I just walked to the bus stop with no trouble at all. I had bought a tourist guild book earlier and used it to locate where the main shopping would be, figuring that's where I'd find tops, as every other shop here was a privately owned stall, which of course sold nothing but those constricto-tops.

I got off the bus at around 10:30 and made it to the main plaza quickly, and I suddenly noticed the closer I got, the more Konoha, or Sound, or Earth people there were, and how all the women didn't wear the veil. Damnit! So this is where I come NOT to get dirty looks. Grrr.

Also, I find that when people come to Suna, they want to be traditional. And so, the main plaza is full of what? SUNA GEAR! Only this time, wait for it… IT'S MADE BY BIG BRANDS AND IS ABOUT TRIPLE THE PRICE!! Woooo. Exactly what I wanted. Who could ask for more? NOBODY THAT'S FUCKING WHO! I hate these people. Grrr.

And so, for about three hours I spent looking for a top that: a) wasn't a close relative to a boa-constrictor, b) wasn't horribly low-cut c) was under 15bucks.

Which, in this stupid city, seemed too much to ask for. T. SHIRT. PLAIN. _T_. SHIRT. Nothing more. Just that. Grrr.

And eventually, god musta heard my long strings of mental profanities, and sent me, er, kinda what I asked for…. I guess. Because along the main street I found a souvenir shop, and in that souvenir shop was a small clothing rack, and on that small clothing rack were several non-constricto, normal neckline 10 dollar tops. I figure I wasn't gonna look a gift horse in the mouth, and just ignore the 'I HEART SUNA!' slogans with a happy sun next to it. I was showing patriotism, wasn't I?

Of course, I can ignore the hilariously over-happy sun with sunnies on, and the 'SLIP SLOP SLAP IN SUNA!' on another, with 'SUNA LOVE' and the 'love' in sparkly pink writing. I bought four T-shirts, all had hilariously happy enthusiastic slogans I knew I would regret one day, but really, then, I didn't care.

My feet were sore, it was too hot and I'm really not that partial to shopping. So with my 'I HEART SUNA' tops I just made my way back to the centre of the shopping district and to the bus station. There, I found several men in navy blue uniforms questioning various citizens and running after various blonde short tourists.

I blinked at them, shrugged, and hopped on the bus, I got off near the Kazekage's Offices (aka Home Fort) and walked up the gold-brown path to the receptionists office, there I was grabbed by about three tall men in those navy blue uniforms, I was too shocked to even scream, the receptionist, who had been on the phone before, talking urgently to somebody on the other line, muttered something then hung up, and marched over. "Is that her!?"

More men in navy blue were coming over, I wriggled free from the grasp of one and glared up at them, I felt so short. "I really don't know what your problem is, but I have been here for the last week or so, I don't have a bomb or anything!" I tell them angrily.

They exchange looks and sigh, one of them had a walky-talky and was reporting to somebody else, and by the minute, more men in navy blue were in the receptionists office.

"Ummm…" I decided I'd do what I'd learnt in the movies, here if where they say 'you have the right to remain silent' while I'm charged for bringing hideous 'I HEART SUNA' T-shirts into the Kazekage's offices. So I did just that, and remained silent.

Eventually, the men stopped arriving and Gaara's voice drifted through the crowd. "Have you found her, was she here all along?!" he sounded annoyed, I decided I'd rather not stay to see the poor gally who would most likely need mental help after this, I slipped in-between two men and was making a break for the elevator when one muttered 'where the hell is she?' and then came charging after me again.

Then, then was when it hit me maybe I should have told Gaara I was going to go find some normal clothes. The Navy-blue Men had now realized they'd have to keep a hold on me and Gaara was there, a dry look on his face, he turned to one of them and said something, where I was escorted into the lift and up into an empty chair-filled room with a small stage, I sat on the stage and Gaara the same look on his face, he was about to sigh and rub his temples… wait for it…

"Is this her?"

"This is her." Gaara said flatly. "Can I ask something?"

I shrug. "Shoot."

"How the hell did you get past all the men I have posted on the doors, roof, and not to mention people who are specifically asked to note who comes and leaves this building." He said. "They know not to let various people out alone, you're one of them."

I blink. "Uhh… I walked out."

He rolled his eyes and sat down, and rubbed his temple. I knew it. "I should have guessed, you have no idea how dangerous it is for you to be out without guards!?" he demanded.

I shake my head happily. "No idea."

"Very. _Very_ dangerous." He sighed, and looked at me. "Suna is a messed up, dirty, dangerous place which was left in political turmoil from the last Kazekage. There are many, many people who want me dead. There will be many, many people who already know who and what you are to me, and most of those will be the people who want me dead."

I had paled significantly. "People… want you… dead…" I said slowly. "_Dead_."

He nodded. "And you too, now. It's dangerous here."

"_Dead_…" I said, my face still white, _dead_ white. "Dead as in, shot-in-the-head stone cold dead…_dead_."

He nodded. "It's nothing new, I had that before, but now with about forty times as many people."

"But… how… what?"

The guards were shifting, obviously pissed off that they had missed a tiny, insignificant girl. Gaara turned to them. "It's okay now, go and train some more, if you can't even keep track of an _untrained_ woman." He said harshly. The guards winced and nodded.

I was still in shock, once they had filed out he turned back, his expression somewhat softer, but I wasn't really paying attention, I was still pale. "Why?"

"Why what?" He sat down next to me.

"Do they want you dead…"

"I'm trying something not many other Kazekages have, to clean up the streets. Most have concentrated wholly one the high-class citizens of Suna. I think we need to make Suna safer place to bring tourism in and help the economy, etcetera."

I nod numbly. "Yes… but then why do people want you dead?"

"Because there are a great number of people who live off the black market, and have professions as hit-men, prostitutes, or drug-dealers and if Suna acts to get rid of all those, there will be a hell of a lot of poor, 'unemployed' angry dangerous people around." He paused. "You're a prime target for any of those people."

"It can't be that bad." I said quietly.

He looked at me, his eyebrows raised. "In a week, I have an average of three noticeable assassination attempts, give or take a few."

My head snapped up, I had been numbly staring at the ground. "Three. _Three_." My eyes widened. "You could be assassinated an average of three times a week!" I couldn't handle that. Having him nearly die on average three times a week. "You could nearly die three times a week from people trying to MURDER YOU!!" I looked up frantically.

He smiled grimly. "Irony."

I frowned at him, still too worried and shocked and not sure what to do to stop this to react. "What?!" I snapped.

"You are in near-death experiences or bad accidents at least five times a week." He pointed out.

I glare, not liking this. "It's not assassination attempts!"

"I'd rather that then what you do, what you do is practically unintentional suicide."

"But I've always been like that." I said quietly.

"And I've gotten used to it, so has Sasuke, and Naruto and Shikamaru, and Sakura and whoever else." He said.

"But I can't get used to that! Assassination attempts!"

"Unintentional Suicide?"

"Not funny!"

"I'm used to this, this has been happening for, what? Nearly a year now?"

"HOW THE HELL ARE YOU ALIVE!?" and I jump up to hug him. "Can't you wear bullet-proof armor or something? Or live in a protective bubble?" I bury my face in his shirts.

"When I go out to visit people on the street I usually do."

"You live in a bubble?"

"No, the bullet-proof vest."

"That's not enough! You need a helmet. Brains are fragile." I scold, and hug him tighter.

"It would show fear." He shrugged. "I need to show everyone else I'm not scared. And I do have the guard. Or 'Ninja' as the publications people are trying to get me to call them."

"Er, why?"

"Some crap about promoting Suna's heritage."

I felt pressure of my back, and loved it. He is never as openly enthusiastic about being totally in love with somebody as I am. I kissed his neck and muttered insane ramblings about him never going out in public every again and just having some look-a-like go out and be brave for him because I wasn't going to let him be nearly assassinated three times a week.

"And what am I supposed to do? Lock you in a padded cell with no ventilation system to stop the unintentional suicide?" he muttered angrily back.

"Many have tried."

"Many didn't have armies at their command."

"I guess…"

"Why were you out anyway?"

I still had refused to let go of my iron-grip around his neck. "I needed to find normal clothes." I said simply.  
"Shopping…"

"It was not."

"Then what were you doing? You better not have stolen them…"

"I did not. I was just buying normal T-shirts."

"That's shopping."

"No, it's not. I don't shop."

Gaara sighed. "I don't care, why didn't you just get me to ask for some? Or at least tell me?"

"Why should I have to ask to go out?"

"Since I don't want you bombed."

"THEY HAVE BOMBS!?"

"We're not sure yet." He said, and sighed.

"So now I can't go out in public anymore?"

"It'd help if you wore Suna clothing."

I look up at him dryly. "I'd rather be bombed."

His mouth twitches slightly, almost into a grin. "I can tell."

I smile brightly at him, and kiss his lips. "Then we have an understanding." I said happily and kiss him again, I always kiss him, which isn't how the movies work, but I don't mind. Gaara isn't exactly Mr. Open Affection, what more can I ask for if he lets me kiss him anyway?

"I've got to-,"

"Get back to some important meeting/appointment." I say in a flat tone. "I know."

He kisses me softly and then leaves, but not being giving me directions from here to the room because he knows I'll get lost. True, true. I can find my way to most places from the room, but here I don't have my bearings and really won't be able to find a thing.

I arrive and sit on the bed for a while, write this up, and now I think I'm gonna go take a shower. Seeyaaa.

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**Long update for you all! Because I truly love you, LOTS. Haha, the amount of people that said 'Er, why the hell was her head in a vase?' almost beat the number who said 'that hurts, I should know.' Or something along those lines. I worry about you lot sometimes. :P **

**LOVE YOU. **


	8. Want

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**Chapter Eight: **

_The past with its pleasures, its rewards, its foolishness, it punishments, is there for each of us forever, and it should be.__- __Lillian Hellman_

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**7:35**

Gah. Smiley I-HEART-SUNA tops will take some getting used too. Gaara nearly killed himself laughing, I haven't ever seen him laugh that hard. Ever. Not even when I got lemon in my eye. Not even when I fell down the stairs, not even when he shook a tree-branch full of snow over my head. Never in this history of ever has anyone ever seen Gaara laugh so much.

Of course, this didn't exactly make my like my I-HEART-SUNA top anymore. But eventually (after I'd thrown pieces of cabbage and cauliflower into his hair) he calmed down enough to tell me it was a nice joke.

"Uh, no, this is my wardrobe from now on." I tell him sternly. \

"Really? Can't you just wear the normal things?"

"We've been through this. I-HEART-SUNA tops are comfy. I'll stand by 'em." I say stubbornly. This had become a battle of the wills. "Same with jeans, but since I had to hide them for their own safety-," I glare at him. "I'll put up with the parachute-Suna pants."

He sighed and shook his head, looked at me, chuckled, and in a strange moment of affection kissed me, he moved to go but I pulled him back before he could, breathing in his smell and running my hands through his hair. He eventually detangled himself from me and then left to give the plates to the maids. Gaara is happier now, it's like he changed. I mean, sure, he isn't going to exactly spent hours telling me he loves me, infact, I don't really think he's ever said that at all, but I know. And if he's happier now, even if it's only marginally, it's good.

When he returned he went back to reading. He's nearly done now. I craned my neck to read where he was up too, and cringed, realizing that this is where the major deception starts. The unforgivable things. The down-right flat-out _lying_.

_Naruto sighed. "Sorry, I didn't mean too- I…. it still hurts, doesn't it." _

_I stare at the same dish harder as I nod again. "What if we went to find him, not Sasuke? How would you feel?" _

_He quieted. "I guess… but maybe, you know, it's time to move on." _

_My head snapped up and I glared at him furiously. "Why?" _

_"It's not healthy. At all, Sora," he said, eyes concerned. "Can't you see your both not good for each other?" _

_"Why wouldn't he be good for me?" I say, I can see why I'm not good for him… I guess. I'm so me, he's so him. He's perfect. I'm not. _

_"Look at you, wouldn't it be nice to be free, for once, Sora? Wouldn't it just be nice to get that huge weight you carry for him and fling it somewhere and never look at it ever again?" _

_"Sure, it'd be nice." I agree. _

_"Then why don't you?" _

_"Because I don't want too." I say, furiously scrubbing the dish again before throwing it down on the drying rack angrily and looking at him. _

I wish I could censor this, glue the pages together and pretend it never happened and say that the mailman just lost the letters. Pretend Naruto was wonderful and beautiful and always honest as I'd thought he always was. I didn't want Gaara to see this, I wanted him to think I was perfect. Perfect people didn't have friends who did this to them. I wanted to be always happy for him, never sad. Never a burden, never pessimistic, but always realistic… well, that last part is just plain old wishful thinking.

I just wanted to be always nice, always there for him. Never needing him to do any work for me, because if he's in the same room as me, and doesn't really mind me being here with him, that's all he really needs to do.

I watched him intently, trying to be subtle about my insane worries. I wanted to kiss him, but knew he was too busy reading. I wanted to direct his mind away from the stupid things people do, from the stupid things I do, from everything. I wanted him to say 'I don't care, I love you.' But I knew that was a long shot. Don't actions mean more then words anyway? I shouldn't be complaining.

He is perfect. Even the few dark freckles he has, one on his neck. One on his cheek, another near his ear. Seven or so on his arms. All perfect. All annoyingly, amazingly breath-takingly _perfect_.

I watched as his eyes scan the pages, halting sometimes at various phrases, instantaneously, I'd scan the page too to find what he'd been shocked at. I'd cringe, most of the time, and then go back to pretending to sleep. Really, there was no point. I knew he knew I was wide awake.

_Please, oh god, say he just slipped and accidentally gently lovingly tenderly kissed me. Please, please, please. _

_It seemed to go on, time was frozen, and I hated it. But I didn't want it to start again, what would I say? _

_Of course, with that thought, it started again. He broke away and my body didn't know whether to blush or go pale, so it did both and I ended up a sickly light purplish colour. _

_"Now," he started. "I have told you everything." _

I had read over his shoulder again. I made the mistake of tightening my grip on his hand. So much for subtle, Gaara's eyes flicked to mine, a slight grin on his face, I pretended to be super-occupied with how our hands fit together again. I heard a quiet chuckle… he wasn't mad? I breathed a sigh of relief.

_ Kabuto nodded, thinking now, and then went a little red. "Oh, um, I'll let you get dressed." _

_I went more then a little red, I went bright crimson, and nodded, he turned around and I ungracefully scrambled out of the pool and shoved my clothes on, suddenly going swimming in nothing but underwear and a see-through singlet wasn't so intelligent. _

_"Okay, decent." I said, even though I felt like drowned rat. _

_"Well, I won't say anything about this, but just tell me, it was you in the vent, wasn't it?" _

_The way my cheeks got redder gave me away, and I clenched my jaw. "I don't know who it was." _

_He smiled. "I'm surprised I didn't think of it… I thought I knew ever single possible passage or way around this school." He shook his head. "Genius, really…" _

_"Well, I'll tell them if I figure out who it was." _

_He grinned. "Another question, if you don't mind…" _

_"If I can answer." _

_"How did you break the vent?" _

_"It wasn't me, remember?" _

_"Oh, yes, how did that person manage to break a vent? Those vents are sturdy." _

_"I think, he or she might have, by the looks of it, tried to fit something very, very, very large through it, I dunno, around the size of a mattress." _

At this, Gaara chuckled slightly again. I did too, at the time, I had been too terrified of the fact my shirt was probably see-through from my wet singlet to find it hilarious. Time passed, and eventually I dozed off again, before I woke suddenly as he jumped and was glaring at me insanely. I looked at him sleepily.

"Huh?" I sat up to read over his shoulder.

"I can't believe that even went through your head." He glared.

"Huh?" I hadn't really taken in the words. I shook myself and read again. It was about me thinking of Gaara. A little piece of my first diary in the second. And now, watcha know, in the third too.

_I shake my head, and then scowl again as I notice he didn't eat his cake, either did Sasuke. Those two boys have a lot in common. I wonder if Gaara is gay… Nah, he doesn't seem even slightly remotely possibly gay._

I laugh. "Ohh. Touchy."

He scowled at me. "Why?"

"I mean, it's written there, I did say 'not even slightly remotely possibly gay'" I tell him, grinning.

"You still thought it."

I shrug. "It was just a _thought_." He scowled more, and I grinned evilly. "But I guess I'd wonder again, when you'd rather spend your time reading a stupid boo-," I didn't finish my sentence, I didn't have time, I must have really pissed him off, because before I had enough time to finish the word 'book' he had already covered my mouth with his, and was busy trying to get rid of my clothes. Maybe I should call him gay more often.

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**Monday 1/9/18 **

He finished today. I was watching, and reading. I knew what was coming. Yesterday he was reading up to the part where Kimimaro gave me my Diaries back.

Gaara had sat up and looked at me intently. "So that's where you got this idea from. You gave the first ones to him." I knew he meant Kimimaro.

I nod. "Yeah, I figured I wanted him to know everything, and if it was up to my mouth and my mind I'd mysteriously leave out bits." I sigh. "Same with here. It was for the best."

He seemed interested. "What wouldn't you have told me?"

I blush. "Uhh…"

He had put a dog-ear in the page and I knew I'd have to answer. He'd never let it go, he's Gaara, he's quietly demanding and stubborn. Could be worse, could be like Naruto – uh, the name hurts…. – and be _loud_ and demanding and stubborn.

"Um." I sigh. "Well, I wouldn't have told you about the pool. Or _why_ I actually punched Sasuke. Or about Naruto lying, I would have blamed it on the mail man… or about Kimimaro kissing me. Or how long I spent in the nurses office saying or eating nothing, or how Temari was there… or how Kimimaro knew everything... Or how I'd throw up from thinking about you, or… well, everything along those lines."

He raised his eyebrows silently.

"I know! I know, that's almost everything there is…" I sigh again. "But that's why I gave you my diary, I _forced_ myself too because I knew I couldn't lie. I couldn't outright tell you nothing bad happened at Sound."

He nodded, and was about to go back to his- haha, _his_, more like _my_- book, but I felt a slight coldness (more then usual) from him, and I put my hands on his face and kissed him gently.

"You're not angry, are you?" I asked quietly. His mouth twitched slightly, and I smiled back, and kissed him again. "Good." I let him go back to reading.

Now today, I was doing the same thing, in my usual position of my head resting slightly against his thigh, kissing his hand and relishing how much I loved him over and over. I sat up after a while and read over his shoulder out of curiosity.

_"Sora, please, calm down!" _

_I had had enough. There was nothing else for it. I laugh bitterly. "No, Naruto, I won't calm down." I shake my head. "Goodbye." And then walk out. He does nothing, he stands still, I saw tears, I didn't care. I had shed too many, a few from him wouldn't never evoke pity in me. He had betrayed me, and he deserved worse then just a guilty conscience. _

My stomach turned over. Why already? What would he think? So close to the finish of my time at Sound.

_"Please move." I said quietly, avoiding his worried gaze. _

_"What? Sora, wh-,"He started, and then stopped, not really knowing what to say. _

_"I have to go… you're in my way." I didn't meet his eyes._

_He caught sight of the bag, and the train timetable hanging out the side. "You're going to find him, aren't you?" he said, almost softly. _

I was so cruel. The pain ached, Gaara shifted slightly so I couldn't read, I knew he was trying to stop me from doing something drastic like bursting into tears (which I know he hates dealing with), I decided I'd take his wordless advice and not read anymore.

After a while, I heard him move to look at me.

"When I left, I did think of saying goodbye." He said quietly. "But didn't on purpose."

"Two months ago, I would have thought that cruel." I whisper back. "Now I see its much kinder then watching somebody leave."

"I cause you so much pain." He said bitterly.

And then abruptly I laughed, he looked my way scowling, a grin happily at him and kiss his nose. "It doesn't even come close to the amount of joy." I tell him. "It's so insignificant right about now that I can laugh at it."

I kiss him to make my point, and grin, wrapping my arms around his neck and shifting onto his lap. "And I know that diary will make everything seem hilariously horrible, but really it's not. At all, Sound I had so many good times, and I met Kimimaro, who I am so glad I did meet, but also other people, who I learned a lot from, like the Fatman and Tayuya and obviously Kabuto." I tell him seriously. "I had fun, and I'm here now so I really don't care what you say, because I'm the happiest person in the entire universe right about now."

Gaara didn't have a speech like mine to give, of course he wouldn't. He never does, and if he did, he would have to be bribed with million of dollars to say it. He kissed me, which is more then enough anyway. It's about 100 times more feeling-inclusive then anything else he does. Gaara isn't a mushy person, I just have to get used to that, even if in my entire life he doesn't say 'I love you', does it really matter? It shouldn't. I should stop complaining.

We sit and talk for a while longer, before we both go to bed and I sleep restlessly. There is this feeling in my gut I have, and it won't go away. It's stupid, so stupid I won't even write it down. I'm spoilt is all. I should stop complaining.

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**HELLO ALLL!! :D :D :D How are ya? Good I hope! I'm making MASKS! :D. I need to go do another coat of paper mache, so I hoped you liked the update! THANKS A MILLION BILLIONS FOR REVIEWING! **

**Love, To-love. **


	9. Returns

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**Chapter Nine: **

_The world is full of people whose notion of a satisfactory future is, in fact, a return to the idealised past.__ - __Robertson Davies_

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**Wednesday 3/9/18 **

Time passes quickly; I go for a jog between the two main buildings in the morning now because I have nothing else to do. I've asked Gaara about me getting a job somewhere and he says it's too dangerous and not necessary, for now we have a free place to live, and almost too much money. I don't think that's a reason for me to do nothing, but the way he said 'but for now _we_ have somewhere… ect' made me shiver with pleasure. Even after he wasn't Kazekage we'd go find somewhere nice, not conspicuous, little to live. Somewhere I can know the neighbors and go back to a small Uni and get some sort of qualification.

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**Thursday 4/9/18 **

"Gaara?" I whisper. It was late yesterday night. And the past few days this had been driving me insane. I had to know. It was dark, and I had to reach out to find his hands and entwine our fingers.

"Yes?"

"Where were… were you when I was in Sound?"

"Hm?"

"What's your story?"

"I don't have one, not one like yours."

"I don't mind."

"I don't attract trouble and the quiet dangerous types like you do." He chuckled, quoting Kimimaro. I sighed.

"Stop changing the topic. What were you doing while I was in Sound?"

"Surviving. Barely."

"Tell me about it." I said holding his hands tighter.

"You wouldn't want to know."

"I do. That's exactly what I would have said about all those things I wouldn't have told you… please." I pleaded.

He had stiffened a little, and was leaning away. I sighed, and let it drop, knowing it must involve saying lots of feeling-related things. Knowing that, I just wanted to know more. Sighing again, I lean up to kiss him and turn to lie in the curve of his body.

"Goodnight." I snuggled closer to him and wrapped his arms around me, I felt him relax, and draw me slightly closer. I knew that was his way of saying sorry. One of these days I'd get his story out of him, it just depended if I was fewer than 50 by that time.

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**Saturday 6/9/18 **

They came back. I almost died of shock, when Gaara had told me Temari had come straight here after sound I'd assumed she'd gone soon after. Kankuro was with her.

After breakfast, since it was Saturday, I'd gone to find Gaara. He told me he had a quiet day and I'd visited him in the day before this. I spent every bit of his free time with me, really, since I can't say I spent all of my free time with him, seeing as every time is free time for me. Which really sucks.

I had brought him coffee and slid my foot into the door to get it open, and then hit it open with my hips, I entered the room and smiled brightly automatically, then my eyes fell back and I saw two familiar figures, I stopped in my tracks. They both turned to see what Gaara was looking at, I had hoped to sneak away. I didn't want to see Temari again, not after our last meeting.

Gaara sighed and rubbed his temples, and I knew this was a bad time. Kankuro turned first, and then grinned in his I'm-better-then-you Kankuro-ish kinda way.

"Sorano!?" He asked in disbelief. "Wow… you've, er, _grown_." He eyed me slightly, god. He was always a sleaze. I scowl at him, and then he stopped looking as he noticed the look on Gaara's face, which was about four-hundred times worse then my scowl.

My face was white, I could feel it. These two were the last people I really felt like having in my life at the moment, Temari wasn't bad… she just, well, she carried bad memories. But maybe it would be good to have a girlfriend to talk to, I thought, one that wouldn't bow when I entered the room. And Kankuro? Well, who in the entire world would really be genuinely glad to see him? Except prostitutes. They'd have a field day.

"Sorano came to visit me. She's staying." He said it as if it was a slightly holiday, he warned me with his eyes not to say anything. I nodded slightly, why wouldn't these two be able to know? Everyone else in the Buildings knew. _Everyone_.

And then I caught sight of Temari. She was rigid, her face was paler then mine, she clenched her hands in her lap so hard her knuckles were white. And her eyes, they were so hostile, pure hate radiated from them… at whom? Me? What had I ever done…?

I gulped slightly and waved. "Hello." Something was very, very wrong. Something that I could take a guess, mainly came from Temari, Kankuro was still lounged across his chair, arm slung over the back.

"Hey." Was Kankuro's reply, he lifted an arm lazily.

Gaara's cheerful (as cheerful as Gaara can get) words were forced. "Sorano," he never called me Sorano. And that just topped it, something was horribly wrong. "Temari and Kankuro have come back from their trip to Land-of-the-Waves, where they were organizing a contract for Oil Exportation." He explained.

I nodded stiffly. "Er, did you have fun?" I didn't know what else to say, what else could is say? Not when if I looked at Kankuro I was afraid I'd catch time staring at my chest again, and if I looked at Temari I think I'd be scared for my own life. I looked pleadingly at Gaara.

He understood. "Can you ask the kitchen when Lunch will be ready?" he got out. "I'll take it soon."

I nodded, and as quickly as I could, with an awkward wave at both of them, I ran out of the room and down the hall.

Kankuro, well, he'd always been like that, it was just there had been other girls who were about three times as pretty and had double-D bra-sizes who were much more interesting.

But Temari? She'd been more of the caring type, as caring as one in Gaara's family can get, but she was the slightly more motherly one. Why did she… _hate_ me so much? It was me, wasn't it? Was it just the wrong time?

No. It was me. She hated me, the hostility and anger radiated off her, you could almost feel it. And then I realized, she hadn't told Gaara about me. She was in deep shit. No wonder she hated me, she hadn't counted on me finding him, why wouldn't she tell him in the first place, though? Argh. So many questions. Why why why why whhyyyy. Why hadn't she told him? Why did she hate me? Why didn't she think I'd find him when he was the Kazekage? Why did it feel so much like she wanted me to just go jump off a cliff?

But what really made my stomach flip over and tie itself into knots was how Gaara reacted. How he had been slightly, well, hesitant about the situation. He was still thinking about things, about what he should do. Where he should be, and who he should be there with. Terror seemed to seize my body, and I braced myself on a wall… What if he sent me back to Sound? What if Temari was angry because, I dunno, because I wasn't good enough for him? Because she thought I was a high-school crush, not a life partner for the Kazekage.

After much worry and pausing and fighting back scared tears I made it too the kitchens, where I enquired about Lunch. I knew somewhere it was just a ploy to get me out of the room, but I did what he said anyway.

After that, I didn't bother reporting to Gaara over when lunch was, I donned the full Suna gear, attachable-sleeves, veil, complicated sashes and all. I was going for a walk, Gaara and I both needed time to think. Well, not so much me. I'd do whatever he wanted me to. If he said stay, I'd stay until I died, or worse, he sent me away. If he wanted me back at Sound, I'd go back, if he wanted me dead… I don't know what I'd do. I'd just play along and see how it all panned out.

The clothes were itchy, the veil made things sketchy, and the sleeves made me feel like an idiot (Sassuke…), but I made my way to a familiar paper-stall, and sat on a bench for a while. Eventually, I got fed up, and flipped my Veil over my face, so I could watch people go by, I got less dirty looks for at least having the decency to cover the rest of my body.

I knew I'd be in trouble for leaving again, and I didn't want the Guards to be sacked for letting me out again. Really, I don't know if their even trying. I just walk out, really. Nothing fancy.

When I walked back into the room, I ripped off my veil angrily, I really hate that thing. It's itchy as hell. And then started on the small clips keeping the sleeves on, I was half way down the second one when Gaara came out of the shower, holding his shirt in his hands and drying his face with it.

"Oh, there you are." He said after a while, I'd now had to resort to trying to undo the clips with my teeth. They were annoying, and I couldn't see over my shoulder enough to get the last two.

"Can you get these?" I hold my arm out to him, he efficiently undoes them and the sleeves falls, I see a red mark where it was bound to my upper-arm. I scowl at it. "See, look at what it did!" I point at it accusingly.

Gaara's mouth twitched slightly and I managed to get the other one off without too much trouble, once I had changed into my 'SLIP-SLOP-SLAP IN SUNA!' T-shirt, I sat on the couch next to Gaara, and sighed. I had various questions burning holes into my mind.

Eventually he sighed, and looked at me dryly. "Just ask."

I looked at him with wide-eyed innocence. "Ask what?" He gave me another dry look and I sigh. "Temari hates me."

"Not a question."

"Yeah, I know."

"…" Silence, I wriggle under the pressure of my next question.

"Why?"

He grins a bit at my amazing desire to know what I could have done to offend her that badly. "It's stupid." He warned.

"I'm stupid; it'll all fit together nicely."

"No, I mean _really_ stupid. I sent her to file reports because it was so stupid."

"Ohh… _that_ stupid? Well, _I_ went for a walk… In the… ready for this? _Outside_!" I cover my mouth as I gasp comically. He raises an eyebrow. "I know, I know, rebel I am. And your guards really suck."

His mouth twitched. "I'll let them off. I told them not to except anyone dressed in clothes not from a souvenir shop."

I scowl at him, my worry had slightly subsided. He didn't seem to have any immediate thoughts of telling me to piss off. "Anyway, go on, why? What could be so mind-bogglingly stupid as to make you give them filing duty?"

"She thinks… eh, it's so _stupid_." He glares at an imaginary Temari. "She thinks your _bad luck_." He spits out.

I blink. "Oh… that's not so bad." I pause, contemplating. "Well, that's not so bad at all. I've had _you_ give me worse insults then that. I was expecting something more along the lines of 'not worthy of you' or 'ugly short self-absorbed clumsy bitch.'"

"She said that too."

I go pale, and he laughs. I swallow. "Well… all because I'm bad luck?"

"She has some kind of logic behind it." He says, I know he's actually really amazingly angry at her, I know she must have said something horrible. "She says that in every place she's been, you've turned up and ruined everything."

"Explain more?"

Gaara was getting angry remembering it, but I wanted to know too much. "In Konoha, she blames you for making me want to move." He didn't meet my eyes. "In sound she says when you… fainted, everyone thought she pushed you. She left because nobody would talk to her. And now she's here, and she says she goes away for a month and comes back and you're here to ruin another life she's made for herself."

I blink. "Wow."

He nods. "Stupid." He says again angrily.

"Well, I have to say I'd be pretty pissed off if I were here too…" I say slowly.

Gaara's eyes flick to mine, and for a moment I saw a small fraction of how angry he really was. It scared me; I'm surprised Temari left with filing-duty and with a prescription for a government-supplied wheelchair. "She lied, and she knows she is in deep, deep shit." He said angrily, staring into the distance. "When you turned up in the room, did you _see_ her face? She knew she was pretty much screwed." He was speaking with some of my vocabulary now, I almost grinned.

Composing myself, I nod. "Still…," I trail off, knowing what I'm about to say will make him extremely pissed off; I look him in the eyes, so he'd know I wasn't just teasing. "Maybe she's right."

He growled, and his eyes flashed to mine instantly. "You really believe something so _idiotic_?" he spat.

I flushed. "Well, not the whole 'bad luck' thing, but maybe I have ruined all the other places she liked for her… I didn't even know about Sound. All I knew is that she left."

I knew I was getting on his nerves. I should have really stopped being self-conscious aloud before he locked me up somewhere until I got some sense. He grabbed my shoulders, and turned me so I had to look at him.

"No. You haven't. _She_ has ruined all the other places, you just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. In Konoha, she agreed to leave. In Sound, she didn't notice the fact you'd fallen into a pool. And now here she lied straight to my face, and it's come back to bite her."

"I don't want to bite her…" I said slowly.

"She isn't staying here." He was angry. _Very_ angry.

No matter what Gaara said I couldn't shake the feeling that maybe it wasn't good to have Temari and I in the same place, well, not good for her anyway. And I wouldn't let her lose her job because of me. "Gaara, don't fire her."

"Why shouldn't I?" His eyes burned, and I just wanted him to be happy again, it killed to know that what I was saying wouldn't do that.

"Please." I didn't have a reason that he'd agree too. Or like. All I could do was ask. "She is doing an amazing _job_ here, you can't fire her for personal revenge."

He was silent, eyes narrowed at me.

"Please." I repeat. "She did an amazing job on that Oil Contract, she was back early and everything. She may have… held grudges, but hopefully she'll learn from it."

Gaara's knuckles were white, he had his hand clenched on the arm of the couch, his jaw was clenched… but he was thinking. Re-thinking. Then he sighed.

"She slips, once, at doing _anything_. Or repeats that kind of idiocy, she's gone, Sora." He told me. "I don't know why you're vouching for her to stay, but she gets one more chance."

I relaxed immediately. At least that was one less reason for Temari to hate me.

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**HELLOOOOO!! Hope you liked the chappie! LOVE YOU. LOTS. **

**HAHAHAHAHAH. Funny review award of the entire universe goes to Celiatsu for this comment – '****Though now every time I see a vent I try to estimate whether or not I could fit in it!' That made me laugh SOOOO very much. **

**Love to-love. **

**P.s. I find this quote is really really good. And true. I know lots of people like that, myself being one of them at times. **


	10. Why?

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**Chapter Ten: **

_There are many who dare not kill themselves for fear of what the neighbors will say.__ - __Cyril Connolly___

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**Mooonday - 7/9/18 **

Today I stayed in the room. Today I was afraid to leave, I had to get some things cleared up, I mean, Gaara at least didn't seem to have any immediate thoughts of sending me away… But still, why does Temari hate me so… _vehemently_? I mean, I'd understand general dislike, but this indescribable hate is just plain strange. Me being 'bad luck' can't be the only reason.

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**3:45 **

Can it?

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**3:47**

Well, I could…. But I never thought Temari would be that sort of person.

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**3:51**

Gahgahgah. Questions.

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**Tuesday 8/9/18 **

Today I nearly went insane. I can't just do nothing for the rest of Gaara's time being Kazekage. I _won't_ just do nothing for the rest of Gaara's time being Kazekage. I feel so painfully useless.

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**Wednesday 9/9/18 **

Okay, so today I did nothing.

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**Friday 11/9/18 **

I had decided I couldn't do anything else until I make things right with Temari, I mean, it shouldn't be that hard, should it? I had thought.

So I had actually gotten out of bed slightly earlier (now I'm used to waking and not seeing Gaara there) and spent time showering, washing my hair, and arranging my clothes so the sash covered the big sparkly 'SUNALOVE' t-shirt. I slipped on matching creamy-orange puffy-pants, contemplated the attachable sleeves, but then decided I would not look like Sasuke if I had the choice and left them.

And so I wandered, and it felt so much like Sound. Looking mindlessly for Temari, again.

I'm off to find Temariiiii, the wonderful Temari of Sunaaa. I hummed in my head as I walked. I had to say 'Sunaaa' really, really quickly to make it work.

Eventually, I stumbled into the next best thing. "Sorano?" I knew the voice before I saw the face, and grimaced.

"Kankuro." I said, fixed a smile on my face, failed, and tried again and managed to arrange a slightly deranged grin that was the best I could muster.

Kankuro smirked, he was leaning against the doorframe of Gaara's office, which was where I was just going to check, I moved to the right slightly to see past him, Gaara wasn't in there.

"Still short, I see."

I scowl. "Still wearing make-up, I see."

He glares too. "Now listen here you little-,"

We both had tempers, you just had to say the right things to stir mine up, his flared for any reason whatsoever, and really, I didn't feel like listening to his 'it is NOT make-up' speech.

"Have you seen Temari?" I asked, cutting him off.

He raised his eyebrow, his empowering 'it's war-paint' speech forgotten. "Yeah, I have, why? It's not like she'd _like_ to see _you_."

I sighed. "I know."

"So when's Gaara gonna kick her out?" he asked, a small look of superiority was in his smirk now. As if he was extremely intelligent for guessing that. I scowl.

"He's not."

"What!?" he stopped smirking and looked at me intently. "Really? You better not be kidding me-,"

I cut him off again. "I'm not. He's not firing her… not _now_ anyway, she just has to be really, really careful for a while."

He blinked. "You convinced him not too." He said after a while.

I nod. "Yeah."

"Er, why?"

I shrug. "Maybe she's right, you know, about the whole me ruining her life… I mean, maybe a bit of exaggeration…" I didn't want this getting back to Gaara. I wasn't supposed to take it seriously. It was 'idiotic'. "But I don't want to give her more reasons to hate me."

"_You_ should hate _her_; she left you in a pool to die."

"Not on purpose." I tell him through gritted teeth.

He raised his eyebrows. "I'm not so sure."

I shook my head. "No, she didn't. But she didn't tell Gaara where I was or how I was or how much I wanted to find him," what was I _saying_!? "I can hardly hate her for that… well I can… but I won't." I said firmly.

Kankuro shrugged. "You're weird, kid."

I glare. "I'm _nineteen_."

His eyes widened. "Really!?"

I nod, my jaw clenched. Man he was _annoying_. "April twenty-fifth. Nineteen."

"Oh… Good, I was worried because it's just not right to be getting it on with somebody under ten and I was worried I'd have to talk to gaa-," and then I snapped, and before he could stop me, I kicked him in the shins and walked off.

Kankuro was swearing at me as I walked off, but I was too pissed off. Stupid Kankuro, who does he think he is? I thought angrily. My sex life is _my_ sex life, also the jibe about my shortness and not-looking-nineteen-ness.

After a while, I decided I couldn't find Temari, I passed Kankuro in the halls on the way back and we both tried to trip each other over at the same time and ended up just kicking each other, and then cursing the other person and saying it was all their fault.

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**Saturday 12/9/19**

I found her. I was searching the second building now, and managed to find her office, without running into Kankuro too.

The Minister for Communications has developed a strange liking for me; despite how determined I seem to be to put him in a wheelchair. He told me Temari's office was down the hall, to the right, and then the second room on the right. It took me a while from there to find it, but at least I knew it was somewhere in my general area.

After a while, I made it to her office, and knocked hesitantly.

"Come in." I recognized her voice and sighed in relief. No more angry ministers.

I opened the door and peered in. "Hello."

Her head shot up and the hostile glare was in her eyes again. "Get out."

I didn't, I took another step in. "Before you call security or something, I warn you, I know them." I tell her. "Some of them are nice, and will think you're insane for accusing me of refusing to go away."

She glared more. "Why the hell are you here then?" She snapped. "To rub it all in my face, I know I should be packing my office right about now, find a new place to live, right? Give it another few months or so and see how long it is until you turn up to screw it up again."

My glance softened. "You're not going anywhere, no point in packing your office."

She seemed as shocked as Kankuro was. "What? But Gaara was livid, you saw him."

I shrug. "I talked him out of it."

This, this is where I expected the whole 'Oh, really!? THANK YOU SO MUCH! Let's be best friends. And get pedicures EVERY DAY. Yayyyy!' kind of thing. And here is also where I expected her to forgive me instantly and realize I'm not a bad-luck magnet and it was all just a horrible misunderstanding.

But no… Her mouth twisted up nastily. "Oh, so now you expect me to be forever grateful or some shit like that? No, I won't be." She scowled. "I wouldn't leave anyway; I had my own plans to fix it."

Yeah, I thought to myself, I kinda did expect you to be forever grateful or 'some shit like that.' I grimace. "Why do you hate me so much?"

Her fists clenched. "Do you honestly think nobody doesn't know?"

"Er, yes?" I didn't know what she was talking about.

"You're just another little gold-digger, you didn't care about him in Konoha, and then he becomes Kazekage and wow, who turns up? Sorano, who hadn't even bothered to reply to his letters before that."

I was shocked, but she had a point. I mean, it wasn't like that, but it must look and awful lot like it to her and Kankuro. Sure, Kankuro doesn't care, but he doesn't care about much. I think Temari does, paired up with her hate for me ruining her life in sound (in-directly) it doesn't really look that great on my part.

"It's not like that," I explain. "It's a long story, but I didn't get the letters at all until about a month or so ago-,"

"How convenient."

I scowl at her. "I love Gaara." I tell her evenly. "When he stops being Kazekage I'll be _glad_. I can go back to college then. I _love_ him."

"Until he runs out of money?"

I clench my fists. "No, until I stop breathing." I told her plainly, looking her in the eyes.

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever, just get out of my office." She said, hate radiated from her again.

I felt hurt, I'd failed. I turned to go, and paused at the door, she was sitting back down shuffling papers about. "Temari?" I didn't really wait for her to answer. "I'm sorry about Sound… I didn't mean anything, really."

"Just get out of my sight." She snapped.

I sigh and fight back tears. I wish she wouldn't hate me. Just be nice. She can't hate me forever… can she? No. she can't One day I'll stop extremely disliking Kankuro. He may be old and need a walking frame, but I won't hate him anymore.

I managed to find my way through the maze that was the Second Building, which I don't really know very well, back to the Kitchens, were I snuck in and stole the most chocolate-covered thing in the refrigerator.

I need something to do. I'm sick of being so useless.

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**HELLOOOO!! THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE REVEIWS!! MEANS LOTS!! THANKS A BILLION MILLION!! **

**Lovelovelovelovelove, to-lie. **


	11. Jobs

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**Chapter Eleven: **

_They will see us waving from such great heights, _

'_Come down now' they'll say,_

_But everything looks perfect from far away,_

'_come down now' but we'll stay… _

_The Postal Service 'Such Great Heights' _

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**13/9/18 **

I talked to Gaara about me having nothing at all to do last night.

"What did you do today?" I asked.

"Paper work." He said in a bored tone of voice.

I nodded. "Can I help?"

He looked a little shocked. "Why?"

I sigh. "I'm nineteen, and I have absolutely nothing to do, at all." I tell him. "I need some sort of job, and since I can't really leave the home-fort at a regular time each day, that's kind of hard." I tell him.

"You're not supposed to be leaving at all, you know."

"Yeah… your guards suck."

He rolls his eyes. "Well, paper work is more boring then doing nothing," he said. "Don't worry, relax."

I sigh and try too, okay, so I'm not allowed to help him. Gah. "Can I help with the cleaning or something?"

He laughed abruptly. "You could try."

I scowled. "Once we get through with the whole bowing thing, I think it'd work fine."

He smiled slightly. "Like I said, you could try."

I grinned at him, and laced my fingers with his, we spent the rest of the night just talking about everything. Well, I did most of the talking and he slipped in and out and four-word-answer mode.

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**Monday 14/9/18 **

And so I did try. This morning, I woke early like Saturday and Sunday, dressed so you couldn't see the slogan on my T-shirt, and went to the Kitchens. There, I knocked apprehensively and thanked the lord they had doors, not screens.

"Breakfast isn't ready yet, Miss." Was the first thing said when they recognized me.

I smiled brightly. "Good," I tell them, they look confused, and I invite myself in. "Need any help?"

"Er, well not really, Miss." They shrugged.

I sighed, and look put-out. "Damn, can I help anyway? Even if it's something simple… I can flip pancakes well!" I suggested.

They exchanged a worried look. "You don't need to help, you relax." They say soothingly and shuffle me out of the kitchen. I scowl and mutter profanities at them under my breath, and then call out.

"Sorano! 'Names Sorano!" I tell them. "Not 'Miss'."

And then I go for a walk, escort an elderly man across a zebra-crossing (really, there was no point since it was a zebra-crossing) but that made me feel at least a little better about myself, when the guards posted on the doors noticed me strolling back in I took one look at the distressed looks on their faces and help up a hand.

"I won't tell anyone if you don't."

They grin slightly. "Yes Miss."

I glared. "Sora."

They grinned more. "Yes, _Sora_." My name sounds weird with their accent. I smiled brightly at them. I like the guards, they aren't as picky as the kitchen or laundry staff.

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**Tuesday 15/9/18 **

I have a strategy. Today I went into the kitchens and sat down. They all gave me strange looks, and asked me a few times If I would like anything, but I shook my head, and just sat on a bench and watched.

Once they are used to me there, then I'll ask if I can help.

In the afternoon I made my way back down to the Laundry, the people- well, women- there know not to bow at least, after last times catastrophe, they learnt not to bow, and I learnt not to knock.

"Hello?" I call from the other side of the screen.

A big lady with darker skin then the others opened the screen, steam poured out from the room, I smiled. "Can I come in?"

She nodded hesitantly and opened the screen wider so I could come in, I nodded thanks and then sat down to lean against a wooden wall next to a girl who looked younger then twenty. Somebody almost my age shouldn't be washing clothes, infact, nobody should. I scowled, Machines should be doing this.

Gaara's words came to mind though, he had mentioned about how every job was necessary in Suna, and more were needed as the numbers of unemployed were rising, and letting them wash was better then having them on the street. It was quite a dilemma. He was almost right, if they weren't here, where would they be? But something in the pit of my stomach told me it still wasn't right.

Eventually, as I had hoped, they forgot I was there and resumed chatter, I just sat and listened and restrained laughing occasionally, as I didn't want to remind them I was there. I went back to the room at around four-ish, feeling a lot better.

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**Wednesday 16/9/18 **

"…Gaara?" I lay curled in the curve of his body again, I'd tucked myself there and cherished how warm he was.

"Mmm?"

I pause, actually, I didn't know what I'd ask. But then another burning question found its way to my lips. I'd asked this before.

"Will you tell me your story?"

"No."

I sigh. "One day?" And now, suddenly, Déjà vu struck hard and fast, I shook slightly, and Gaara's arms tightened.

"What's wrong?" I could almost see him frowning in confusion in my head, despite the darkness.

"Just, I think something I avoided before came back to bite me."

"What?"

"Nothing important." I swallowed. "Just God or whoever reminding me not to sulk because it's what I deserve."

He was silent, but I knew he was waiting for me to continue.

"Remember how I took my time in giving Kimimaro-," urg, the name, it still hurt. "- my diary/story?"

I felt him nod, his breath was warm against my back.

"Well, I think its Gods way of reminding me how mean I was."

Gaara chuckled. "Maybe." I gasped as I felt him kiss the back of my neck in a strange show of affection, it sent goose bumps running along my arms.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

**Thursday 17/9/18**

Same thing today. Kitchen staff seem more insane then washing ladies. I suppose they have a seriously chaotic environment. I think they will have to retire at least 30 years before everyone else because of all the stress.

Laundry people forget I'm there more easy though. This is good. But when I tried to add to the conversation they all went dead quiet and pale and I figured talking should come a lot later.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Friday 18/9/18 **

Kitchen staff snapped today. Excellent.

"Miss, if you don't mind me asking, but what are you _doing_ here every morning?" One of them asked, she was pretty. Very, very, very pretty, her skin seemed to glow a bronze-gold color and her hair was a richer chestnuty brown.

I grinned at her, showing teeth. "Admiring domestic geniuses at work," I said innocently. "Since I'm not allowed to help…." I trail off.

The girl ground her teeth, and an older woman put a hand on her shoulder and whispered something in her ear in a language I didn't understand, the pretty girl threw me a dirty look and I continued to grin wolfishly.

"It's not right to let you help, miss."

"Sorano." I said instantly. "And it is too. I want to earn my keep here."

They all scowl at me. Of course, I was breaking tradition. I was supposed to be evil and demanding and order people around at my whim, offering to help was just out of the question. Without any more argument, they went back to making lunch and cleaning the breakfast things.

The afternoon with in the Laundry was the same, they chatted away and I sat noiselessly next to the same timid girl that I had scared so much when I first visited, she was quiet and shot me worried glances every now and then, I grinned brightly back at her, and she blushed and went back to scrubbing.

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**11:32**

"I'm growing on them." I say proudly.

Gaara sighed. "I'm not going to interfere."

"Exactly." I tell him, and pat him on the head, he gives me a raised-eyebrow 'you're really strange, know that?' look and I skip off to shower.

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**HELLO ALL. SORRY I HAVENT UPDATED IN LIKE, MILLENIUMS. I'VE BEEN SUPER AMAZINGLY BUSY! **

**BUT I LOVE YOU1!! **

**LOVELOVELOVE. :D :D :D**


	12. Goooaall

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**Chapter Twelve: **

_His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stalk –Mae West_

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**Saturday 19/9/8 **

Temari really doesn't seem to have any immediate thoughts of _not_ hating me. I decided to quit annoying the kitchen staff an hour early today and go eat some of the food I'd watched them make. Kankuro was already in the lounge watching sport, having nothing better to do, I sat down on the arm of the chair next to his and picked at my pasta.

His head turned to me. "What are you doing here?"

"I kinda _live_ here nowadays." I scowled at him, suddenly re-thinking my decision to sit with him.

"Oh…" he seemed to run out of reasons to tell me to piss off, I smirked at him, and ate another forkful of pasta.

"I don't care if you don't like what's on." He told me simply, trying at another angle of getting me to go away, I grinned mentally. Noooo way, I wasn't going to pass up a chance to tick Kankuro off.

"No, I _like_ sport." I told him.

He knew I was just trying to get on his nerves, he wasn't that stupid. "Really, which team do you go for?" he asked, eyes narrowed.

I gulp. Shit. Err… "…Blue?" I suggest lamely.

Kankuro snickers. "Yeah, real sport fan _you_ are."

I threw some pasta at him; it bounced off his forehead and into his plate. I laughed loudly. "Gooooaalll!" I tease. "Five points to team Sorano-Sport-Fan." I say smugly.

"Lucky," he grumbled, and picked some tomato sauce out of his hair. I grin more, he clenched his jaw and tried to focus on the game.

"Is it really just because I'm bad luck that Temari hates me?" I asked after a while, distracted from my award-winning shot into his bowl.

"I dunno." He grumbled. He obviously wasn't over my super-shot-of-the-century.

I sigh. "I mean, it's because she thinks I'm here for Gaara's money, isn't it?" That was slightly more logical then bad luck, and more easily fixed.

Kankuro shrugged irritably. "No, it's because you ruined her social status in Sound..." Mmm. Alliteration. "and slightly the Gaara-money thing, I guess… Saying that your 'bad luck' is just her way of expressing it."

I chewed on more pasta. "Oh…," I swallowed. "How do I fix that?"

He shrugged. "Who knows? You already saved her job, what else can you do?"

I sigh. "I don't know, would flowers help?"

This startled a snicker out of him. "You can try." For a moment, I saw how he was related to Gaara, and scowled. "You know," he said. "For the months before you turned up, she used to sit in the waiting room nearly everyday, and then ask Sanako who had come in…Sanako didn't let you in, did she?"

I shake my head. "No…"

"Temari had been asking her to keep an eye out for a short blonde girl who wouldn't be wearing nice clothes." I was too shocked to scowl at him. "She could have easily let you in to see Gaara if you made enough noise."

"I got into the kitchens. But then was nearly arrested." I said sadly.

Kankuro snickered again. "Well, when you came back in visiting hours Sanako couldn't really not let you see him. Especially if you had waited."

"Ohh… well, a few things make more sense now."

"You should have seen Temari rage," Kankuro said, a hint of awe in his voice. "Yelling and screaming at her, telling her she should have kept better watch." He shook his head.

"Poor Sanako." I suddenly felt very sorry for the girl, it wasn't really her fault at all, how could she not do what the Kazekage's sister said?

Kankuro nodded slightly. "It's amazing. All that to keep you out," he snickered again, oblivious of my shock. "And then the two weeks we're away you come."

I finished my pasta quickly then, and then threw the last bit straight into his plate, just to see if I could do it again.

"Yesss!" I cheer myself on, give the plate to the annoyed kitchen staff (I must have been noisy) and then go to sit in the Laundry for a while and think a few things over.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

**6:34 **

Okay life, you've gone too far. You've now reduced me to _this._

Pros: - It turns out after all Kankuro and I can have a normal conversation… even if it does result in spaghetti-throwing.

I'm not really bad luck. Which is good.

My eyebrow is healed… which is also good.

I may be getting more coordinated because of that amazing short into Kankuro's spaghetti.

God doesn't hate me?

Cons: - Okay, so it wasn't God all along (sorry buddy, jumped to conclusions there…) It was the worse and slightly more powerful Temari. Shit.

Sanako is going to be in deep crap if Gaara hears of her helping Temari.

The Laundry people still won't let me help.

I will never be accepted in this community for my lack of body-covering.

Deep down I really want Sakura and Shika to write. Naruto can stay wherever the hell he is for the moment, but I wanna know how Konoha's going…

Temari's hate for me is really insane and has sprung from something that really wasn't my fault. Well, it was. But _very_ distantly.

Since Temari's hate for me is extremely irrational, that will make it about 1000 times harder to fix.

I really need a haircut.

I think I got a pimple. And isn't that supposed to go away after high-school? Life is cruel.

I complain too much.

I'm running out of Cons.

And my Con list is still about 4 times the length of my Pros.

And I really don't even see the point of this now, why am I writing all this down?

………………………………………………………………………………………

**Sunday 10/9/18 **

"Suna is soooo hot." I complain, lying on my back on the couch staring up at the ceiling.

Gaara's mouth twitched upwards. "It's winter, still. You're going to hate summer."

I grimaced. "I know."

He leans down and kisses me, and my heart goes into overload and my mind goes entirely blank for a terrifying minute and I'm not sure I'm even living for a while, I eventually gasp for air and he laughs at my expression.

I raise an eyebrow. "I'll give you three guesses at the one thing that's keeping me here." I say, linking my fingers with his.

He sighs. "I'll show you something, and I bet it will change your mind."

"Huh? About what? You better not have a third nipple or something." I tell him sternly, even though if he did I'd really know about it by now. But hey, what's make-up for if not to cover your mysterious third nipple?

He scowled at me. "No, change your mind about Suna, now come on."

"Where are we going?" he was pulling me along out of the small lounge room and into the small rectangular 'dining' room which consisted of a tiny tiled area containing a fridge, two counters with draws in them, a microwave and a stove (plus oven), it lead onto a carpeted area where there was a table and a few pot plants, over the other side was a glass sliding door that led out onto a balcony, he pushed this door aside.

And then he smoothly climbed up onto the rails on the balcony, I went pale. "What the hell are you doing!" as this was fifth-story, and the view down to the street was terrifying.

His answering smile was strangely enthusiastic, I sighed, and then he disappeared up onto the roof, I look around worriedly, and then scramble up after him, he pulls me up onto the top, and leads me up to the top.

The roofs on this buildings are like four slopes with a flat top, here we sat. I look around, the light was getting dim, but besides that, I couldn't see anything of particular interest in the city.

"Uhh… what?" I say, wondering if that was all for nothing.

He was sitting on a different angle, facing the west. I turn and then gasp. He was right, the view was magical, nothing could describe what I saw. It was the setting sun, huge, crimson, yellow, and orange, glittering over the city.

I've seen sunsets before, but this was no sunset, it was magic. It had to be. The huge orange orb of the sun cast pink and orange light over the clouds, creating a multi-colored sky, small ripples of heat where the sun was setting made the whole thing move, like it was alive. It took my breath away, the sight of such sheer beauty found in such a concrete jungle was mystifying, and why would such beauty dwell here? Why would it bother with Suna?

It was that feeling when you see something so absolutely mind-bogglingly beautiful that you get goose bumps, all your hair stands on end and your entire body tingles. Human eyes weren't made to see things this majestic. You could watch it set, you could see it move, you could see the shadow slowly move over the city and the bright orange and hot pink clouds turn to deep red and purple, slowly but steadily, the sun disappeared behind the buildings, and then behind the earth.

I hadn't said anything the whole time, I knew my mouth was wide open by the chuckle that came from Gaara. I was literally short of breath.

"Wow." I gasped.

Gaara chuckled again, and I blinked at the lingering purple clouds, as the sky suddenly took a darker hue and turned deep, deep blue, a chill settled over the city.

"When I was first chosen to be the next Kazekage, _that_ was what reminded me that Suna had some worth. Even if ninety-eight percent of the population wouldn't ever see it in their lifetime."

It was true, suddenly, Suna was beautiful. It was one of those sights that seemed to change your life. I nodded dumbly. And saw the goosebumps has returned for a different reason, I was now getting very cold, and my 'SLIP SLOP SLAP IN SUNA' T-shirt offered little warmth.

I shivered, and Gaara led me back down the roof (terrifying, it made the whole life-changing sunset thing seem almost not worth it) where I nearly fell several times, eventually, I slid right off and landed on the balcony with a bump, I knew I'd have bruises tomorrow, Gaara followed gracefully, after that I didn't talk to him for about ten minutes. Nobody should be that good at coming off roofs. It's not right, why isn't everyone unco like me? But maybe I'm no uncoordinated, maybe he's just some kind of super co-coordinated person.

Hahahahaha. I'm funny.

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**HELLOHELLOHELLO!! THANKS FOR REVIEWING LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS! I LOVE YOU!!**


	13. Kitchen Snaps

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**Chapter Thirteen: **

_I hate television. I hate it as much as I hate peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts.__ - __Orson Welles_

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**Monday 11/9/18**

Today, they kitchen staff were short three people. Today, they finally caved in and let me help. It was busy, like, super-busy, Gaara was having lunch with the land-of-waves ambassador to finalize the whole oil/petrol/fuel/ect deal Temari and Kankuro had gone to set up.

And as well as that we had the norm meals to prepare for, so the kitchen was buzzing, after finally accepting the fact that the two assistant cooks and two waiters weren't coming, I stepped in and said 'I'm good at frying eggs…'

From them on, I was whisked into an apron and was set to stirring five different frying dishes at once. That I handled with excess stress, and huge amounts of stress due to the steam and the yelling and the insanity.

"ONIONS!"

"onions? Where?"

"CUPBOARD!"

"…Yes?"

"LEFT CUPBOARD!"

I rotate slightly to the left. Hmm.

"TOP LEFT, GO!"

There I see an open cupboard with plates.

"BELOW THE FREAKING CUBOARD!"

Oh. Well, you could have said that.

The day continued much like that, until it was after two, and I eventually collapsed on an onion covered bench. I looked around me, and all I could see was about 12 messy-haired, irritable sweaty women, and guessed I looked pretty much the same.

"Listen, we were extremely short-staffed today, we won't tell anyone if you don't." The outspoken one again. The one who was always opposed to me helping. I grinned at her cheerily.

"Of course, I understand." I say solemnly, but I knew that she damn well knew they'd lost, and I'd be able to come and help whenever I wanted.

"You're going to stink." She pointed to the oniony-bench I was lying on.

I look. "Oh… well, I've smelt worse before and Gaara hasn't stayed more then several rooms apart," I grin at her. "Can't be too bad."

She looked grumpy again at my familiar use of Gaara's name, scowled, and walked off. You know, as grumpy as she was, I was beginning to like her.

And now I'm back in the room, feeling quite full of myself, I decided that because I was so insanely smug I better not go to the laundry, since I'd either break something or they'd get so annoyed they'd break me.

Maybe life here isn't so bad, now I have something to do… well, I mean, sure it isn't great and I don't actually get paid, but as long as I'm helping. It helps the time without Gaara pass quickly.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**7:49**

Eventually, just because I'm me and I get bored too easily, I got bored. So, just because I'm me and I'm really stupid, I did something stupid. And in the end, just because I'm me and I get myself into crap situations, I found myself in a crap situation.

"Sorano!"

I ground my teeth together, went through the (now familiar) motions of trying to smile, and then turning to grimace (since my smile never turns out right) and say "Kankuro!" He smirked at me in his infuriatingly smirky way. I scowled back. "Wadda ya want?" I snap.

He shrugs in his infuriatingly shruggy way. "Nothin'. Just saw ya in the halls and I thought I'd say hello."

I was in the eating lounge-area, watching some stupid sport game, I should have known Kankuro would turn up eventually. Eating and stupid sport. What else would attract him?

"I'm in the lounge. Not the halls."

"Yeah, but I saw you in the halls."

"I was in the halls ten minutes ago, Kankuro… have you been following me?" I say with eyes wide. GROSS!

He shook his head. "No, no, no. I just saw you from a distance and couldn't catch up, those little legs of yours carry you fast…. Running from something?"

"So you _were_ following me!"

"What?"

"What else in the entire world would I run from?" I snap at him, he scowls. Haha, point to Sora.

We spent the rest of the afternoon getting angry at one-another until abount four o'clock where Gaara walked in with several other important-looking people to find Kankuro and I disputing over what Kankuro actually did around here.

"You do nothing!"

"I do not!"

"Yeah, you do, see? This is you! 'Oh, look at me! I'm Kankuro and I went to the land-of-the-waves so now I'm IMPORTANT.'" I glare at him. "See? That was _you_!"

"Well, like you can talk! You're all 'Yeah, well I spent like, two whole weeks at sound until it was all too much for my blonde brain to take and I had to leave!'"

"You're just jealous because you couldn't even pay your way in!"

"I could so!"

(At this point I think our argument stopped making even a little bit of sense…)

" Nooo way. Plus, they don't take kindly to cross-dressers!"

"How the hell am I a cross-dresser!?"

"Because…" I and I knew I was going to get in trouble. This comment would send him over the edge and if I was thrown out a window there wasn't much Gaara could say, I'd probby then be charged with breaking a window. "YOU WEAR MAKE-UP!"

And at that point I'd dove behind the couch and was waiting to die, when Gaara and three other men in suits walked in at just the same moment as when Kankuro leaped over the couch to mutilate me. It all worked out quite nicely, if I do say so myself.

He landed on a strange foreign looking man, who may have been even taller then the tallest man on earth, Kankuro and the man collapsed into a heap and rolled back into the corridor, Gaara motioned for me to get the hell out of there, which I took his advice and left the room with the echo of Kankuro's "Oh… ambassador from the land-of-waves! I'm sorry, well, haha… I told you I'd see you back in Suna…"

I made it to the kitchens where I collapsed in a laughing heap on the floor, I hated to give the kitchen staff more to clean up and I know insane girls can be quite a mess, but I had to laugh it off. And so I did.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

**SORRY IT'S SHORT. MAY NOT UPDATE FOR A BIT. EXTREAM BUSY. EXTREAMREXTREAMBUSY. I LOVE YOU! **

**SORRY! **

**LOVE YOU!**

**AHHHHHHHSCIENCE! **


	14. Dungeons

……………………………………………………………………………………………

**Chapter Fourteen:**

_Someone's boring me. I think it's me. – Dylan Thomas_

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**11:48**

"Gaaaaraaa!" He'd been back late today, my guess was suddenly organization needed about 1000 times more chatting and sweet-talking (hahahhaha. Isn't he just the flirt? Haha) then normal, since the whole Kankuro-tackle incident.

I leapt into his arms and heard him sigh. It seemed like forever that he'd been back and I'd been somewhat awake. "Have fun explaining Kankuro?"

"Thinking of disowning him."

"You own him?"

"Practically."

I laugh. "Personally, I wouldn't wanna be associated with it either."

"You just had to say he had make-up, didn't you?"

I grin at him. "It was just too good. And plus, nobody saw _me_."

"Nobody ever sees _you_."

He rolled his eyes again, and detangled me from him and went to shower, I sat and rambled on about my day, decided to skip the bit about me actually helping with food, seeing as when he has important guests I'm not sure the idea of me cooking the meal is a good one.

He had a long shower, which meant by that time I'd found the TV and the various music playing on various channels. I heard him laugh as he came out to me lying on the couch singing and swinging me legs to the tune of 'waterloo'. I grin at him when he comes out, always like this part of my day. It seems I never get to see him shirtless in the light these days. He sat on the other side of the couch, and it seems like this every night, me taking up about ¾ of the couch, him sitting on the last open bit. My legs over the arm-rest. Me smiling insanely, and probably _very_ unattractively.

I laced our fingers together and he turned his gaze to mine, I smile, but suddenly a question I haven't asked in a long while bubbles to my lips again.

"Can you tell me now what you did when I was in Sound?" I asked sweetly, shuffling up to rest my head on his leg.

He sighed. "You don't really need to know." He was toying absent-mindedly with a strand of my hair.

"I guess not." I catch the hand that was playing with a strand of my hair and kissed it. "But one day?"

"One day."

_"…You're not planning on telling me, are you?" _

_I shake my head. "Not today." _

_"One day." Kimimaro said firmly. _

_I nod absent-mindedly. "One day…." _

I shudder at how familiar this scenario is, and snuggle closer to him. That night, I fell asleep on the couch.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Tuesday 12/9/18 - 3:33 (haha!) **

I woke, and felt like one huge pile of grease and hair. Sleeping on couches used for eating never really works out. Of course, Gaara was already dressed and ready to go, but this time, I was actually awake to see him slip on Suna Formal gear, and get ready to go, I sat up, and mumbled. "What time is it… Am I hilariously early to wake, or are you really extremely late?"

"Bit of both." He said, I stood, stumbled across as I was still waking up, kissed him quickly and went to shower.

The day passed quickly, I've blackmailed the Kitchen staff into letting me help and now I have trouble eating lunch knowing my hands have most likely touched most of the onions involved. Kankuro and I seemed to be destined to meet in the lunch-area, it seems he eats as soon as lunch is done too. I mean, we could just sit in different rooms and all, but I don't work that way, especially when I'm in the TV room first! And he likes the same spot I do, and gah! Stupid Kankuro.

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

**Wednesday 13/9/18 **

"Gaara?"

"Yeah?"

"Is it one-day yet?"

"No. Not yet."

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**12:36**

You know, I get this feeling I'll have to beat the answer out of him.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Thursday 14/9/18 **

We sat on the roof again this evening. I talked about my day and how Kankuro and I face-off every lunchtime now over the TV and the good spot on the nice couch where you don't get blinded by the afternoon sun.

"…And then that bastard decided he'd just pick me up and throw me over the couch so I kicked him in the face, but I missed and my shoe came off and hit him instead, it wasn't really the whole intense broken-nose I'd intended, but it worked. And his face smelt bad."

Gaara grinned, but then raised an eyebrow. "How did you know his face smelt bad?"

I went pale. "Ew, that sounds super suss." Gaara just raised his eyebrow again. I scowled. "Kankuro is a gross cross-dresser. And my shoe hit him in the face, and my shoe smells pretty damn bad, I could smell it from a while away."

"That made no sense."

I ignored this comment, Gaara chuckled and I sighed. "Y'know, don't you have like, dungeons or something we can just throw Kankuro into?"

"Dungeons?"

"Yessyess."

"Er, no."

"Damn… What about some kind of underground cell?"

"Er, not here, exactly."

"Fine. What about those animal travel cages you see cats in when their going to the vets?"

"Maybe."

"Yess…."

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**HELLO. VERY VERY SORRY I HAVENT UPDATED IN YEARS. I LOVE YOU. LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE. **

**WILL TRY AND UPDATE MORE. I PROMISE. **


	15. Some Proposal

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**Chapter Fifteen: **

_I think it would be a good idea. - __Mahatma Gandhi_

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**Friday 15/9/18 **

Lalalalalalalalalalalallalala. Today I went back to nurses thing to see the nurse thing over I poured scalding hot water on myself. My leg hurts. Walking hurts. BURNS BURN.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**4:45**

Burnyburnburnnn. It's only a first degree burn and nothing huge, but it still hurts. Owy ow ow. Nusey nurse says give it a week and I won't feel a thing. It's just on that part of my thigh that rubs together, owy ow ow. That's why walking hurts.

Gaara says it serves me right for thinking I could carry scalding hot water without some kinda injury. Also says that I should have known better.

I kinda agree.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**7:12**

"Gaaaaaaaaaaaaara." I said in a sing-song voice.

"Mm?"

"You seem… preoccupied." I say, smiling at him.

He smiled slightly. "…And?"

"Well, more preoccupied then normal, and I was thinking, since I'm in pain and all, and you love me more then life itself, you would be wonderful enough to tell me what's on your mind to take my mind off the intense insane pain to end all pain." I say, batting my eyelashes at him.

"I have the weirdest feeling it won't exactly brighten your day."

"Go ahead, shoot me."

"I'd rather not."

"It'd put me out of my misery."

"And why would we want that?"

"You're an asshole."

"You think?"

I narrow my eyes at him. "Yeahhh. Talking that way to a cripple." I shake my head and make insane clucking noises. "You should be ashamed."

"Yeah, I should."

I laugh, and he smiles slightly. "Anyway, back to you telling me what's on your mind."

"….Yes?"

"I'd think so…" I say, and stroke my imaginary beard.

He rolls his eyes. "You're insane."

"So I'm told."

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Sunday 17/9/18 **

Um. Wow. Well, he was kinda right about the whole 'I don't think it would brighten my day thing.'

Well, this'll sound harsh. But it wasn't bad, wasn't great. It wouldn't have changed the outcome of anything. At all.

"Sora?" Somebody pushed me.

I rolled over and groaned. "Go away, it's Saturday. I get to sleep. I don't care if I have homework."

"Sora!" I felt a hand push me again.

"Essays mean nothing to Saturday morning sleep in's!"

"Sora. Fucking hell, just get up!"

"Gaahhh. Kim, go ask the Fatman or something! _I'm_. _not_. _Getting_. _Up_." I shove my head under the pillow and try to drown out the noise and the annoying hand that keeps trying to take my blankets away.

"Firstly, it's Gaara, and secondly, I really don't feel like talking to Kankuro about this."

I shot up out of the bed and went white. "I'm sorry! It's just I'm used to Naruto or Kimimaro trying to wake me, it was just like a reflex. Automatic."

I knew he was slightly hurt by me calling him Kimimaro. I knew that somewhere, he wanted me to forget my time at sound, and to never have contact with Kimimaro again. But that's one thing I will never do.

I rest back on my elbows and look at him, blinking at the bright sun. "So wadda ya want?" I ask blandly. "I've gotten used to sleeping, you've let me become lazy."

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, try and blame me." He shook his head. "The publicist wants to talk to us both."

"Publicist?"

"Yes."

"Can I shower first?"

"….Fine."

And so I showered, dressed in my fave sparkly 'I HEART SUNA' T-shirt, laughed at Gaara's distasteful stare, and took his hand and skipped up the hall. Since he is about a mountain-range taller then me, even when I skipped I could keep an even pace.

The Publicist was thin. Thin and tall and wore huge glasses. Which wasn't really what I expected of who should be Suna's best Publicist. Maybe that's why he is Suna's best, because he was so terrifying, he had no friends, so he just watched what other people did and liked until he could copy it just enough so that he was popular too. But then he got to full of himself. And had no friends again.

Anyway, point being, I was shuffled into a room with an uncomfortable looking Gaara and a tight-lipped Publicist.

"You are Miss. Takaski?" He asked. His voice was surpringly high.

I wonder if his voice has broken….. "Yepyep!" I smile brightly. He grimaced.

"And if you were going to pick a nobody you could have at least picked somebody who has moody and had a tragic past, couldn't you?" he grumbled.

I blink. "Why would you want that?"

"It would make it easier to make people feel affectionate towards to. That means people would like you better."

I glare at him. "Or, it would just make people feel like I'm here because Gaara feels sympathetic towards me. That means he feels sorry for me, like you will towards yourself in a few moments." I tell him. I hear Gaara cover a chuckle.

The publicist looks taken aback and I continue glaring, he adjusts his glasses and turns to Gaara. "Well, she has no problem speaking her mind."

"I could have told you that." He says simply. "Why'd you want us here?"

"It's best, now that most people know you are in a serious relationship, that you start showing her to the public..."

I bristle. Hellooo! I was here tooooo! His annoying high voice was getting to me, but I held my tongue.

Don't ask if his voice has broken, Don't ask if his voice has broken, Don't ask if his voice has broken, Don't ask if his voice has broken, Don't ask if his voice has broken, Don't ask if his voice has broken. I chanted to myself as he chatted on.

"Anyway, I was thinking…," he sighed, Gaara was getting more annoying. "Now I know you both may think this is strange, but this seems to be quite a serious relationship and I think the Public of Suna will take it much better if you were both married."

Our reactions were different. Gaara went paler then usual, and the response I'd been holding back the whole time came spurting out like word vomit.

"Has your voice broken!?" I say quickly in shock. I slap my hands to my mouth and go red. I see Gaara subtly bite his cheek to stop laughing and keep his cool.

The publicist goes almost as red as I was, and we both mutter a few things and I apologize and ask him to go on and I won't interrupt.

After a long awkward moment, he clears his throat and continues. "Anyway, as I was saying Suna takes things seriously, and I think the, er, less serious attacks would fall dramatically if the public saw this relationship was permanent, which it is, yes?"

I didn't think, I opened my mouth to speak, but by the time I had Gaara had beaten me to it. "Yes." He said firmly.

I flush and smile brightly at him, and nod my agreement. Then he continues. "So, as much as I hate to rush things, I think, before anything else, you should both be married. Publicly." He finished, somewhat proudly.

My mouth was suddenly dry. "Whaa…?"

Gaara's response was more literate then mine. "Is it nessecary?" he asked.

The publicist hesitated, then nodded. "I would say so, you know how Suna is quite a traditional country."

He nodded, and then sighed. "Well…"

The full impact of what he had said had finally sunk in, and suddenly, I realized it didn't mean anything. Really, to me, having his last name changed nothing. If I was still Takaski, I'd still be there, being Sabaku will make no difference to my decision. If I were Uzumaki or Uchiha or anything else the alphabet could throw at me, I'd still be here. Marriage would do really nothing to change my mind, or anything else.

The publicist faced me, grimacing, I guess my comment that I'd said in shock hadn't been forgotten, I smiled sheepishly. "How you do feel about this, Ms. Takaski?"

I shrug. "I don't really mind." I say, and smile.

Gaara smiled, I saw over the publicists shoulder. He knew me well, the look on the Publicists face was one of shock. He obviously was expecting a fangirl show. I smile at him. "If it's for the best, it's for the best. How will it change anything? For me, it will change nothing. I'm not a Christian, I don't mind about sex before marriage or whatever, whether I'm Mrs. Whoever, I'll still be me, he'll still be him."

The phrase 'a rose by any other name smells as sweet' came to mind, but I decided if I said that out loud, Gaara would lose his composure and laugh. And we all wouldn't want that, would we?

So that was it, I mean, I was a bit surprised/shocked and very very obviously in a daze but that was it. We were engaged, and just like that, I was suddenly allowed to go outside. With a huge guard, of course.

"…I think it may get worse at first, but then once everything dies down, it will be preferable for all of us."

I nod. "Get the worst over and done with."

"Yes, exactly." He nodded towards me stiffly. I grin back.

"Well," I mutter. "Bring on the assassination attempts."

Gaara finally lost his composure, he laughed, the Publicist guy looked so shocked he almost dropped his clipboard (used more for looking important then for remembering things), but when he had regained his dignity (and his clipboard was firmly in his hands) he suddenly looked and me and understood why I was here. I was the only one that could make the infamous Kazekage laugh.

"He does that sometimes." I say, and shrug. "You learn to love him for it. Weird kid."

Gaara stops trying not to laugh and glares, I grin brightly back.

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**SORRY IT'S SO SHORT. SORRY I HAVNT UPDATED IN YEARS. AHHH. RUNNING LATE, VERY LATE. SO BUSY. YAY FOR HOLIDAYS! **

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**I LOVE YOU. **

**THANKS FOR REVIEWING. **

**I DO LOVE YOU. (YOUUUUUUU!) **

**XOXOXOXOOX(lovelovelovelove)OOOOXOOOOXXXXOOXOOXOX To-Love**


	16. Critics

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Chapter Sixteen: **

_Food is the most primitive form of comfort.__ - __Sheila Graham_

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**Monday 18/9/18 **

Owy ow. I accidentally pulled my bandage into a weird position and now it rubs even more then thighs. I need a new one.

P.S. I didn't actually think yesterday happened until I just went back and read that. It's weird, but only because I don't care. If that makes sense.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**4:45**

Went to laundry. Helped a bit, burnt my hands in hot water. Everything burns. Eaten a lot of cheese, cheese on everything. Nobody knows about us getting married yet. Thank god, when Kankuro finds out, I will never hear the end of it. Not looking foreward to that part.

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

**11:52**

"I'm sorry, I may have ruined your reputation back there." I tell Gaara when he walked in the door at about eight.

He smiled back. "Just a bit."

I laugh, and can't control myself anymore, I run forward and kiss him. "You could have just told me yesterday."

"I didn't know that much either."

I shrug. "Well, it would have saved me asking that publicist if his voice has broken or not by accident."

He laughed. "Why would I want that? And he didn't answer, you know."

I laugh too. "Remind me to point that out next time I see him." I grin at Gaara, and sit down on the armrest of the couch. "So, what now?" I ask.

He shrugs. "I don't know, once I'm out of politics, you can divorce me if you want."

I laugh. "Yeah, sounds good to me. Being a Mrs. makes me sound in my mid-forties and really fat."

He sat on the couch near the armrest I was on, I lean against him and smile. "I'm not filling in the paperwork for it." He tells me.

I grimace. "Damn, well, I can't be bothered either, looks like I'm stuck with being permanently associated with you," I roll my eyes in mock disgust. "Seriously. I'm sorry, I'm just too famous for you."

He nudges me off the armrest and I slide down to the floor, but catch his hand before it slides back to his lap. "What are you-," I pause and correct myself. "_We_ going to do after this?"

"I don't know."

"I kinda wanna finish Uni..."

"Well, let's go back to Sound."

"No thanks." I say immediately. Then idea of having Gaara and Kimimaro in the same general vicinity made me feel sick. And Sound was a place I'd left behind. I didn't want to go back, I hadn't left Konoha behind just yet, but sound I had. I'd done more the left it behind, I'd chained it too the ground and then ran off so it couldn't catch me.

"Why not?" Gaara asked, I could almost hear him smiling.

"I think you'd practically murder Kimimaro, that's what." I tell him jokingly, but he knew just as well as I did I was serious.

"Probably, have you got a problem with that?" he asked, I stood so I could sit back on the armrest.

I grin at him. "Yeah, I do, because I love Kimimaro much more then you, and when you least expect it after we're married I'm going to take all you're money, and flee back to sound." I tell him, laughing. "Because he's my friend. And he was the only one who wasn't a bastard in sound."

"I thought he was one of the worst."

I sigh. "Yeah, whateverrr."

……………………………………………………………………………………………

**Wednesday 20/9/18 **

Got only a small patch on leg now. NO MORE EVIL RUBBING! Wooo!

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Thursday 21/9/18 **

Today, I didn't get to go to the Laundries or the Kitchens. Today, I had to sit in front of a large amount of people with camera's and notebooks and strange clothes. Today Gaara announced our Engagement.

I gulped, and hung back from the room, Gaara paused as he saw me hesitate. "Come on."

I look at him worriedly. He'd made me wear the evil constricto top, a new one. It was a peachy-coral color, the pants were extra puffy, he'd nearly convinced me into wearing the veil, but I had flatly refused that, we'd come to a compromise that' I'd wear it lifted back, covering my hair, not my face. I had matching flat shoes. Suna gear.

"I'm scared. They'll think I'm some kind of really hideous hussy. They'll think you felt sorry for me because I didn't even have enough money to pay for a boob job or decent heels." I tell him, I was ashen-faced, It felt like all the blood had drained from my neck-up.

"Yeah, they will." He tells me flatly. "But they'll forget that eventually."

I go paler. "Thanks."

He grabs my hand. "Come on, get it over and done with."

"Maybe, you can hire one of those look-alikes. One who is socially acceptable."

"Maybe."

"Gaara, please don't make me do this." I plead.

He turns to look at me. "If you're going to stay, you'll have too."

I knew what he was saying, in gaara-talk, he was saying 'don't you love me enough to even do this? If you're' going to stick around, if you're going to stay with me forever, you'll have to do worse.' And I knew I would have too. I nod at him, and gently lean forward to kiss him.

"If I don't come out of this alive," I tell him. "I want you to go and tell Naruto would have gotten the house but he's a bastard who shouldn't get anything, so Sasuke's getting it instead. And then go tell Sasuke." I tell him, wide-eyed.

He nods, smiles slightly, and we walk into the room. I shrink into the background next to him as we take seats on a long table. I try to look like a wonderful fiancée for the Kazekage, but can't. So many people, I gulp, he somehow does the impossible and manages to take his hand from mine, I sit quietly, as the large crowd of people slowly go silent. I see camera's flash, some at me, some at Gaara as he approaches a stand. I try to sit up straight and look like a very attractive trophy wife, but I have a feeling I would have just looked liked a toad who swallowed a really huge bug.

And so he talked, I tried just to focus on his voice, but couldn't. He talked about things I had no chance of understanding since really, for about a month and a half I've been pretty much cut off from the world. I haven't minded though.

And then it felt like forever and yet not enough time had passed, and he suddenly cleared his throat. I knew what was coming.

"Also, I would like to take this opportunity to introduce my fiancée, Sorano, she is from Konoha and we will be getting Married in a few months." There was a round of shocked, suspicious and occasionally genuine applause. I smile at the crowd hesitantly, Gaara beckons me foreward, and I stood awkwardly and hurried over, carefully placing my feet firmly on the ground before lifting another, to maximize chances of not tripping.

There were photo's taken then. And then I did something so me and stupid I could slap myself now, instead of looking cold and calculating and icily beautiful, I waved and managed a small smile. I saw Gaara fight not to laugh, as he pulled off the cold and calculating and icily beautiful look. I resisted looking at him jealously.

At this thought, I smiled more broadly, and looked around the huge hall of people, most of the females were looking sad, at least they weren't being stereotypical and giving me dirty looks, I scanned again. Oops, wait, yep. Stupid stereotypical girls.

And so there was lunch, and I was asked many stupid repetitive questions by stupid repetitive people and ate nothing because I was too scared I would make a mess of it, and managed to insult only a few people with my outgoing talkativeness for a girl, they were a bit shocked, but I kept talking. I talked to the few women who didn't wear veils too.

"I know, terrible habit the country's into." They'd say. "Don't you start, you just keep showing your face, no matter what they say. This place needs to learn."

And I was just very glad to know that there were others who were still sane out there. And then, after that, I collapsed back into the room, where it was about six-ish, tore off my constricto-top, shoved on a normal T-shirt, let my hair out, wiped off the make-up, took off my shoes, and ran as fast as I could to the Kitchens, where I told the sympathetic half of the staff about my day and begged for food. Most of them don't mind me now, and a small percentage of them like my visits. That same small percentage sat me down and gave me a large bowl of spaghetti and yummy sauce. I ate it as fast as I could.

And then, I retired back to the room, and sat down to write this… don't know when Gaara'll be in, but I'm too tired… I'll just have a nap…

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

**Friday 22/9/18 **

' KAZEKAGE ENGAGED TO FOREIGN STRANGER.'

' KAZEKAGE TO MARRY LAND-OF-FIRE GIRL'

'… The Kazekage's fiancée is said to be "a talkative young outgoing woman, but one that does not know her place in Suna."'

'ENGAGED AT LAST?'

'ODD COUPLE.'

'Lively young 'Sorano Takaski' defiantly stood out in the Suna-born crowd…'

'CHARITY ACT?'

It went on forever. The only one that was good was from a Land-of-fire newspaper that ran in Suna for people like me. When I'm actually _allowed_ out, I might buy it. It looked severely bankrupt.

I sigh, and walk back to the Kazekage's offices. It's getting warmer here, and I wasn't supposed to be outside, especially the exact day everything was all coming out. I didn't even wear my veil, but changed to pink puffy pants.

A few people were stopping in the street and pointing. Once I waved, and they ahd hid their faces and shuffled away. After that I stopped trying.

When I got back, Gaara was in the room, a pile of newspapers in his hands and a dry look on his face. "Damn." He muttered.

I smile. "Bit too late."

"I thought you'd sleep in."

I shake my head, and take of the sash that covered my 'I HEART SUNA' T-shirt. "Not today. But it's hot. So I only went for a quick walk."

"How the hell do they keep missing you?"

I shrug. 'Noooo idea." Turns out nowadays the guards and I reached an agreement, they don't tell, I don't tell. And usually it works.

I sigh and flop onto the couch, the open window from the balcony blows hot air into the room, I wrinkle my nose.

"Hot."

"Yes…"

"It's going to be…. Really hot, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"Fuuucking hellll." I roll over and bury my face in the couch seat.

"Everything will blow over." Gaara said, knowing exactly where my actual concerns lay.

"Yeah, but I'll never stop getting dirty looks from girls in the street." I say, but I doubt he understood all of it, since my face was still in the couch.

He got most of the point though. "Yes you will, just stop going into the street and not wearing a veil and learn how to speak the language here and…"

I groan. "Okay, not wearing traditional gear, we've been through this." I pause. "And, if I learnt to speak Suna-talk it would only end in homelessness and death."

"…Whaat?"

"I bet you a billion dollars I'd accidentally tell somebody that I wanted to smoke some opium instead of see the ocean."

"How?"

"Who knows? But I would."

"Sora, I doubt-,"

"Yes, but are you willing to take the risk?"

"… No."

"Exactly."

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**HELLOOOO. GOING AWAY FOR SEVERAL DAYS. SORRY. HOLIDAYS ARE A-CALLING. I HAVENT UPDATED FOR SEVERAL YEARS. I AM VERY INTENSELY SORRY. **

**FORRGGIIIVEEE MEEEE!!**

**LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE To-love-. **


	17. Just a Few Pictures

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**Chapter Seventeen: **

_A person's a person, no matter how small – Dr. Seuss_

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Sunday 24/9/18 **

Today I didn't even bother putting on a sash to cover the 'SLIP SLOP SLAP IN SUNA.' Slogan on my T-shirt. I have a feeling Gaara has put specially trained people on me, because strange familiar people keep repeatedly reading newspapers near me. I managed to get the 2.50 or so I had left in my bad and buy an ice-cream. And then I sat on a bench and watched the people go past. I don't know why, but suddenly I feel tired all the time.

Most of them don't recognize me just because it seems so highly unlikely that I would be out in the streets with only a few people who are continuously reading newspapers around me.

After a while, once again, I throw the newspaper-readers a dirty look, and walk back to the Kazekage's Offices.

I spent the rest of the afternoon washing up dishes from lunch, and grumbling over the hot weather. More then anything, I just wanted to lie on the couch with Gaara and talk about the one day when we'll go back to University and I'll know what I want to be then, and I'll get a job, and we'll travel, and maybe- well, I will, visit Konoha, and see Kimimaro again, wherever he is.

By midnight, Gaara still wasn't in. and despite drinking like a billion cups of coffee, I couldn't stay awake.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Monday 25/9/18 **

Same thing. Went outside. Was followed by several newspaper reading men.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Wednesday 27/9/18 **

"Hello, excuse me sir." I walked up to a tall man with a slight hint of five-o'clock shadow even though it was before midday.

He looked up and made a strange noise in his throat. I smile warmly at him. "Sir?"

"Yes, miss?"

"This may sound silly," I pause. "But I've just noticed, and you see," I pause again for effect, and then my facial expression changes dramatically and I scowl at him. "That you, and that man across the street, and that man next to the one that's across the street, and that one two lamp-posts down, and all the others who are around the place are all reading the same newspaper." I smile over-sweetly at him. 'And it all happens to be from, let's see…" I tap my chin. "Six days ago." I scowl again.

"Miss, I'm just reading an article on Sand Disposition, you see, I'm into Geology, and it's s a strange find to see such a detailed arti-,"

"Cut the shit, mister." I scowl at him. "Is it impossible for a girl to go outside a building without having eight or more really shit agents following her?"  
He man stood and looked down at me, he was several miles higher, I glared up at him. "You are quite rude. You're lucky I have a bus to catch."

"You're lucky I'm not going to tell Gaara you were all stupid enough to use the same cover and the same magazine from the same day six times."

Then he stopped and turned. I smile nastily at him. "Now, there's no need-,"

"No, there isn't, but there is a hell of a lot of _wants_. Now, you let me do what _I_ want, I won't tell."

"I don't think-,"

"I know you don't, but I don't care." I glare at him again. "Yeah, you're being blackmailed by a supposedly dumb short blonde who doesn't talk much. Yeah, you thought this would be the highest paying great bludge job of the century. Well, either you let me at least walk around the main street of the city in peace without all your newspaper reading antics, or you lose your job."

The man looked like he could have slapped me. Actually, no, I was quite proud, it was more of a 'breaking her little face in' look. I smile back. He would have never been talked too in such a way by a woman before, is my bet.

He stiffly bowed, and walked over to another man who was reading a newspaper. They exchanged a tight-lipped few words, and then they both sat down. I smile, and walk off down the street to find some kind of tree where I could finally sit in peace and enjoy a place where nobody reads six-day old newspapers.

I really hated the fact people underestimated me that much. What was I to them? Was I really just the blonde bimbo that wasn't bimbo enough to survive in the real world? I knew I probably was meaner then I should have been, but the past few days and their newspaper reading antics were just plain patronizing.

Eventually, I got too angry to sit outside in the heat, I trudged back through the main street, threw each agent a dirty look, and stomped back into the rooms, where I showered angrily, ate angrily, was extra-angry at Kankuro, and had an angry nap full of angry dreams.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Thursday 28/9/18 **

Temari and I have had several run-ins, but we've never really talked about anything. I mean, something inside me has really grown to like Kankuro in an annoying, loud-mouthed way, but Temari, we just both avoid eye contact and pretend we've got something better to do when we are stuck in the same room, which doesn't happen often, because we are in separate buildings, but when it does happen, it's extra awkward.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**5:39**

Spent afternoon in the kitchens, they all offered more sympathy for the whole nasty headlines, they say it's all probably written by female whores who only have that job because they are screwing their boss. That just made me angry, seeing the fact that even women degrade women, can't these people genuinely think this of me? Why do they always have to be bitchy, mean, low-grade whores? I mean, despite the fact it was all kinda nasty, it was well written. They do deserve they're job. So I left the Kitchens and went to the Laundry's, where I found more sympathy, a better sympathy less noisy, more 'hurry up and wash that shirt' sympathy.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Friday 29/9/18 **

Today I got to go to another meeting with Gaara, this time, I refused flatly to wear the constricto top.

"It's only for a few hours."

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!" I tell him. "No, no, no. I am taking a stand for all women, not wearing a constricto top."

"It'll make the stuff in the papers worse."

"I don't care."

"Yes you do."

"No I don't."

"You know you do as well I know you do."

"…What?"

"Just wear the damn thing."

"NEVER!" I stick my nose in the air. "I will wear my beloved 'I heart Suna' T-shirt, and I will wear it with pride!"

"But you don't heart Suna, you hate Suna."

"But, I do heart my T-shirts."

"…And?"

"I'm just wearing it, okay?"

He sighed, and sat down on the couch. "Fine. But you're dealing with the press yourself then, and if they ask me, I'll just say you have a mind of your own."

I smile at him. "That's all I ask."

He grinned, shook his head, and went to find clothing suitable for public wear, while I just put on my usual wear with clean puffy pants. And with that, we stepped into the flashing lights and the loud-mouthed reporters and the angry women.

I actually wondered about a bit, I have decided that if I want to make a good impression on the public I'll need to speak. I separated myself from Gaara, to his surprise, and walked off the podium as he continued to speak about oil and such things to several other important-looking men.

What I wasn't expecting was to be swarmed by lots of noisy people. I smile at the friendly-looking ones, and ignore the angry ones. I didn't see what they have to be angry about.

Almost as soon as I had made it three meters away from the general crowd of people, a tall woman with short purple hair and ridiculously small eyebrows of the same color pulled me aside. She had no veil on.

"Oh! Hello." I said.

She seemed surprised by this, and laughed slightly. "Well, you are as weird as they say."

"Am I?" I ask wide-eyed.

She nodded. "Nice T-shirt."

And then I went red, and quickly adjusted by sash to cover the sparkles. "Shhh…" I put a finger to my lips. "It's not stylish, but those wrap-around tops are just like wearing boa-constrictors around your torso, I refuse."

She laughed again, and her eyes sparkled, and for the first time I realized she was wearing normal pants and a jacket. All the same color as her hair, I refrain from grimacing. "You know, maybe that's actually a good idea…"

I blink at her. "What is?"

She shook her head. "Mind if I get a few photo's?"

"At least you're asking." I tell her dryly.

She laughed again, and pulled me out of the room, I caught a worried glance from Gaara and returned it with one that was probably fourteen times as worried. He grinned slightly, and then I was pulled around the corner.

She fixed my hair, let it out, neatened it, seemed to pull amounts of makeup out of thin air and tugged at clothing, then she snapped photo's faster then the eye could see, and let me put my hair back up. I scowl slightly.

"That was… fast." I tell her, still suspicious.

She grinned. "Don't worry, dear, I'm not going to sabotage you or anything _completely_ nasty like that."

I narrow my eyes at her, adjust my sash again, and go back into the main room, eat some kind of really small food, and then continue talking to other reporters and ministers. But all that time, the small purple-haired woman kept watching me, talking to others about somebody that I'm sure was me, and wandering past more then occasionally. After a while, I decided I couldn't survive in this touchy-walky-continuously talking world and scurried back up to stand with Gaara.

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**HEYHEY**

**Will be back to regular updates soon! Holidays are overrr. ******

**Love you LOTS! Love to-love. **


	18. How Now, Brown Cow?

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Chapter Eighteen: **

_"Tell me whom you love and I will tell you who you are". - Houssaye_

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Sunday 1/10/18 **

This morning, I rolled over, and Gaara was there. I smile brightly at him and hug him enthusiastically.

"I love waking up when you're here." I tell him.

He grins slightly, and I laugh. "I didn't look at the papers yesterday…" I tell him. "Was it bad?"

He shook his head. "Actually… no, not really." He grinned.

I looked shocked. "What?"

"It seems your 'outgoing, smiley, individual' style has been accepted by quite a few very influential people."

"Really?!" I said excitedly.

"I'm not sure you'd really like them. But they are influential."

"Which papers?"

"…Well, not papers…"

"Oh dear."

"Yeah."

"Magazines." I narrow my eyes, annoyed. The lady with the purple hair. Of course, how could I not have known?

"Didn't think you'd be happy."

"Urg, Magazines? Grosssssss. Please tell me it's like Gardening or something."

"Not really…"

I roll over and groan, burying my head in the pillow.

"Do you want to see?"

"No."

"I think you might not feel as bad."

"I will."

He showed me anyway. And I came face-to-face with me. Me and my 'I heart Suna' T-shirt on full show.

"WHAT?!" And then I scowled. That women and her hair-and-make-up session. She only did that so she could subtley move my sash. I growled. "Stupid deceiving purple women!" I snap.

"No, no, wait. It's good."

"What?"

"I think you're the latest trend."

"…..GROSSS. EWWW. YOU'RE KIDDING ME!? PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS A CRUEL JOKE!"

"It's good. This is the biggest fashion magazine around. Every other magazine follows this one, it'll start a great chain-reaction of reviews."

"I'm not a movie, or an artwork." I say, my face was back in the pillow, I was surprised he could understand me.

"To them you are, you just have to deal with it."

"I'm a freaking moving breathing human being!" I snap again, then laugh into the pillow. "That rhymed."

"No it didn't."

"Yeah it did, listen, 'Moving breathing human being!'"

"Breathing and Being don't rhyme."

"They pretty much do."

"No they don't. at all."

"Arg, they rhyme! They do!"

"Breathing being." He paused. "no, they don't. that's just alliteration."

"It's both!"

"Listen, how now brown cow. That rhymes,- why are you laughing."

And I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe, I was laughing so hard it was insane. "You-," and I collapsed laughing again. "You- You said 'how-," HHAHAHAHAHAH. It was too funny. Never in the history of the universe had Gaara said something so strange on his own free will. He scowled at me and I laughed harder. "How…. Nowbrowncow!" I had to say it fast so I didn't laugh. He suddenly realized he should have just said 'now and cow rhyme.' Instead of 'how now brown cow.'

I laughed for 90% of the morning about that. He eventually snapped and said unless I could stop laughing he'd rather do paperwork, he tried, but then I couldn't do it and started laughing again. He stormed off to do paperwork. I kept laughing.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**12:09pm **

"…Did you do something to piss Gaara off this morning?" Kankuro asked over our usual lunch together.

I cracked up laughing again, and manage to nod. "You wouldn't believe it if I told you." I managed to get out in-between fits of laughter.

He raised his eyebrow. "What's so funny?"

I motioned for him to come closer, and he leaned in. "Gaara-," I had to laughed. "Gaara… said…. 'How now brown cow'."

We were both quiet for a moment, but then we both burst into fits of laughter so loud we got dirty looks from other people eating around us. We laughed for most of the lunch hour, until Gaara walked in. we both went silent, but he judged from our faces that I'd told Kankuro, he threw me a glare and kept walking, I laughed harder. Kankuro joined in about three seconds later.

I probably shouldn't have told Kankuro, but it was too funny to keep all for myself. Gaara is sulking still. He is quite cute when he's embarrassed.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**11:43 **

Awwwwwww. He's not talking to meeeeee. Sulky sulky Gaara Gaara. Somebody needs a naaaa-aaaaap!

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**12:00 **

"I DO NOT NEED A NAP!"

"…How the hell did you know I just wrote that?"

"…You said it out loud."

"Oh…. Well, you learn something new every day."

……………………………………………………………………………………………

**2/10/18- MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONDAY**

Okay. Guess what Gaara brought in today. A magazine. A magazine with people in it. Those people were models. And they were modeling. And they were also IN MY SHIRTS.

I stared blankly at the page. "oh no no no no no nooooo."

"I think it's good."

"NoooooonononooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooNOOOOOO."

"What's so bad?"

"I'M A SYMBOL OF CONFORMITY." I throw the magazine to the ground and belly-flop onto the couch, the picture of teen angst.

Gaara patted my back in mock-sympathy. I could sense his smiling. I just could, I knew if I looked up, he would be try hard not to laugh. So I didn't.

"So I take it you won't want to see the others?"

"What others?"

"This one's got a picture of you in it I think."

I get my face out of the couch and look at him. "Don't mess with my head."

"…I hate to break it to you, but I'm not."

"Fine. Let me seeeee." I roll over, and find he already has to magazine open to the right page. And he was right, there was me, in the midst of walking up to a newspaper-man angrily to tell him off. I look pissed.

"Nice photo."

"Thanks, I try my best to keep my face that way. It supposedly makes you look five years younger."

"Wow, it shows."

I hit him, and continue looking at the page. I did NOT want to be an icon. At all. Infact, it was about 28 on my list of things never to become, and since there is really A LOT of things I never want to become (Maths Teacher, Critically Obese, under 4ft tall….ect) that is still pretty high.

"Welcome to showbiz." Gaara said dryly.

I glare at the page, since I'm still too angry and surprised to turn my head enough to glare at him specifically.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**3/10/18 **

Today I spent in my PJ's, with Kankuro, on the couch, in the place where most people eat. Yeah, I got a few weird looks. But I did not feel like being happy today.

"I don't see what's so bad. You're popular, deal with it."

"I've never been popular. I don't like it."

"It's not so bad."

"Coz, yeah, you'd totally know what I'm talking about and all."

"I've been popular!"

I just turn and give him one long, steady, dry, look. And then turn back to my ravioli. He turns a bit red and mutters insults under his breath.

"At least I got dressed this morning."

"Hey! At least, even in my PJ's I have more style then you!" I poke my tongue out at him.

He glares again, and I sit and enjoy the win. I like days where I win. They're the best days.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Wednesday 4/10/18 **

I'm afraid to go out, what if somebody takes a photo when I'm doing something embarrassing like talking to pigeons or those bendy trees that only grow in the park?

But I'm so bored.

But I might be Paparazzi'd!

Buuuuut, I might die of mental suffocation here.

…. Fine. I venture outside.

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**OH MY DEAR LORDY LORD. I am INTENSELY sorry, I had the biggest fattest history assignment you could ever imagine. Serious, no joke. **

**Anyway, sorry if updates are once again disrupted because of end of year tests and the such. Anyway, LOVE YOU. ALL OF YOU. EVERYONE. LOVELOVELOVE. **

**Love me, to-love-is-not-dead. **


	19. Time

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Chapter nineteen: **

_Tell me am I right to think that there could be nothing better, then making you my bride and slowly growing old together? – The Postal Service, 'Nothing Better'._

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**8:45**

I went outside, I wore a 'SLIP SLOP SLAP IN SUNA' top, and I sat and fed the pigeons, who even manage to survive in the intense heat of Suna, some leftover chicken wrap. It was quite relaxing, and not newspaper reading bastards followed me. Well, not ones that I noticed anyway.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**9:10 **

"Sora, if you want to stop being a fashion icon, you should stop going outside."

"I'm not becoming a hermit, I know you'd love me to never leave the building full stop, but truly, I'd rather be a fashion icon."

"Rather be a fashion icon and assassinated, then a hermit and alive… hmmm."

"This may sound weird, but yes."

"I think you're insane."

"Don't worry, I think so too."

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Thursday 5/10/18 **

Gaara and I sat on the roof again today, it had been an okay-ish temperature day, and he helped me up to watch the sunset, because I had been complaining in my lack of faith in the Human species.

"I don't see how this makes me feel any better about us silly Human Beings."

"That's because you're not watching."

"I think you're mad."

"You're the one who sings 'Uptown Girl'"

"What? That was years ago!"

"No, it was yesterday. I heard you when you were showering."

"Why do you listen to my showering?"

"It's hard not too, Sora."  
It was too nice up on the roof to be annoyed at him though, I just leant against him, and I felt him rest his chin on my head. The sunset suddenly didn't matter anymore, we hardly had spent any real time together in a long while.

"I miss it just being us." I whisper.

"Me too." I didn't expect that, I expected silent. Or a change of subject, I moved closer to him, and kissed the back of his hands.

"Gaara," I said.

"Yes?"

"We're getting married soon."

"I know."

"Doesn't that sound strange to you?"

"….Yeah, it does."

"Thought so."

"Gaara…" I started again.  
"Yes?"  
"When we're married, what's yours is mine, and what's mine is yours and so one, yeah?"  
"I think that's the idea."

"Well, that strings along with being faithful and no secrets and stuff, doesn't it?"  
He eyed me cautiously. "Yes, I guess…" I sit in silence for a moment, before he sighs. "Just spit it out."  
"What were you going when I was in sound?"

He rubs his temples. I grin, he knew he'd have to tell me now. Otherwise Holy Matrimony would force him too.

"Why do you have to bring up frustrating things at nice times?"

"Coz if I bring up frustrating things at bad times I'll have my head ripped off?"

He shoots me a dirty look, and I grin back.  
"Fine."  
I blink at him in surprise. "Really?"  
"Really. But let's go back inside, it'll get dark soon."

I look up at the setting sun, and realize I'd missed the whole thing, he climbed down the roof, and then helped me fall in the right place so we could both get back inside.  
And I belly-flopped on the bed and then rolled round to face him. "So, start from the beginning and recite your intriguing adventures." I smile brightly at him.

He frowned. And then sat on the end of the bed, I scooted forward and wrapped my legs around him.  
"They're not happy adventures."

"Well, if they were I'd be too jealous."

"Where to start…" he muttered.  
"Where did you go, when you left." I pause. "The first time."  
"Well… I left … well, because I had past demons. Things that wouldn't let me go. And more then anything, I wish you had hated me."

What? I go pale. "What? Why?"

"Because then I would have left before anything else happened."

"Like what, I'm the one who got into all the trouble!"

"Shut up and listen."

I pout. "Fine."

"Anyway, so I left, and I went and stayed in the smallest flat I found. There I lived off money Temari gave me, as she went off and finished her Higher-School Certificate at some other place. But I ran out, and I didn't know where to go. And so I was about to be kicked out, when Kankuro said he had a job, but I wouldn't like it. I took it though, and I got mixed up with some … dangerous people."

"Please don't tell me you were on crack." I said, half-joking, and leaning against him.  
"No, but close. I was selling it."

I bang my forehead against his back. "And you could have just stayed."

"I could have."

I sigh, and kiss the back of his neck. "Then what?"  
"After a while, I realized I couldn't stay like this. I'd been nearly killed several times, and I realize I'd thought I'd been miserable in Konoha, but I hadn't really."

"So you came back."

"No, I didn't."

"What?"

"So I went to Suna."

"And became the Kazekage?"

"No, I just started to make a name for myself. I moved up and up in social status, and one day somebody said I could be Kazekage, and then I just worked towards that. Because I had nothing else in the world to do."

"…Did you miss me?" I ask.

"What?"

"Did you miss me?"

"… Sora-,"

"I know, it's hard enough for you to say this much, I shouldn't be pushing my luck."  
he turned around and kissed me fiercely. "I missed you." He said in-between kisses. "So much I didn't know what to do." I kissed him back, breathless and happy beyond words.

"So then you came back?"

"Yes, then I came back." He was leaning over me, and my legs were still wrapped around him.

"How did you leave again?"

"The same way you let me leave."

"By turning my back and not looking?"

"Basically."

"Sora, tell me, what happened when I was away?"

"What? You know everything."

"No, when I was away the first time. Before Sound."

"Oh… well, Sasuke left. Naruto went insane, and really, that was the best thing that could happen, in some respects."

"How?"

"Now I had something to look out for. Naruto needed me more then I needed you, which is a big stretch, but once I saw that, it made everything easier."

"Not in the end."

"No, it started a dependency that I had to tear myself away from."

"When are you going to talk to him again?"

"Urrggh… I don't know. Somewhere deep inside I still hurt."

He kissed me again, I keep forgetting how smooth and warm his lips really are. I ran my fingers through his hair. "You have to forgive him sometime."

"Wow, that's weird coming from you."

"I never said I had to."

"Cool, that's fine with me." I grin up at him. "Beat him up as much as you want."

"Have you talked to him since?"

"No. Not at all, but he hasn't tried to contact me either."

"I doubt he knows where you are."

"I wouldn't doubt he reads magazines, y'know."

"Okay, then maybe he does."

I laughed, and kissed the end of his nose. I knew he hadn't told me something about his time away, but I wasn't going to make him tell everything in one sitting.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Friday 6/10/18 **

Kankuro and I spent today on the couch in the room with the communal TV, which to me is really pointless, because everyone that uses it lives here, and everyone who lives here has their own TV.

"Kankuro, do you even do anything around here?"

"Huh? Yeah! I do!"

"Because everyday you seem to be here. Always."

"That's coz I work fast."

I snort, and give him a very sarcastic glance. "You do not. You do nothing."

"That doesn't mean I don't work fast."

"Yes it does! BECAUSE YOU DO NO WORK."

"Yeah, but if I did work, I'd do it fast."

"You would not, the only thing you can do fast is eat."

"I can do other things fast!"

"Hmmm.. let's thing, well, you can't: think, run, jump, duck, answer, talk or leave fast enough for my liking." I tell him, glaring.

"Ohh… harsh."

"You needed it, if it wasn't for me, you're head would be huge right about now."

"No way."

"Yeah, it would be. You should be grateful."

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**Hello all! Computer might have to go to the doctors soon. So beware. **

**Love you! LOVE TO-LOVE-IS-TO-LIE. **


	20. Day Off

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Chapter Twenty: **

_Adventure is just bad planning. - __Roald Amundsen_

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Saturday 7/10/18 **

Gaara came in at 4:00 in the morning yesterday, he is sleeping now. Still, and it's 7:00. I am making him coffee as I write this. I am quite coordinated to do so.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**7:12**

Sorry. Had to take a new page, spilt coffee on old one. Anyway, making coffee for me now, but not at the same time. Left-hand coffee making skills need to be improved.

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

**8:15 **

Wow. Least expected thing ever.

"Mornin' Sunshine." I say happily, handing him coffee once he woke up.

He groaned and rolled over. "What is the fucking time, if it's before four in the fucking morning, I'm going back to fucking sleep."

"Um, lovie, it happens to be ten, actually."

He sat bolt upright. "Shit."

I smile happily at him. "Not to worry. I went and told the important people you are sick. And must not be disturbed. Because you have a deadly African flue virus of death."

"Please tell me you didn't."

"No, I did."

"Urrgh… Soraaa."

"It sounded smarter when I did, honest."

"You better hope it did, otherwise you're dead…." He rolled over so his face was in the pillow. 'Fucking hell, African flu virus? What kind of fucking excuse…" and I didn't hear anymore.

I laughed. "I wish I could be conscious when you wake up more often." I say happily.

"I don't."

I laughed, and slide under the blankets again to huge him. "So why such a late night, usually the latest is one."

"Urrgghh. Stupid Konoha, they did something stupid and let the Hokage be assassinated."

"What?!" I was shocked.

"Yeah. Lots of talking, thinking, seeing what we can take advantage of, etcetera." He groaned. "And they could have just saved us all this useless thinking, and kept they're damned Hokage alive."

"I saw him once."

"I've seen him several times." Gaara didn't seem to care, but I did. A small place in the back of my mind wondered how Naruto took this, I mean, he'd really looked up to that guy. I quickly shook the thought of how Naruto feels about things out of my head.

"Well, have fun with that later, but today you get to stay here with me, because you have a deadly african flu, remember?"

He groaned. "Why? Why deadly African flu?"

"I used big words, its okay!"

"These are educated people, Sora."

"Obviously not, since they believed me."

"Really?"

"Yeah. They said 'get better soon.'" I said smugly.

"I bet they were sarcastic."

"No! They weren't."

"Like you'd be able to tell."

"I would so!"

He made an ugly noise and I hit his shoulder. Sometimes I feel I should amputate a limb or something every time he's annoying like this. A limb of his, I mean. Not mine.

That would just be messed. I'm not into self-harm or anything.

…………………………………………………………………………………………

**6:10 (pm) **

"I'd hate to be you." Gaara said. "And I won that trick."

"Why?" I answered. "And no you didn't, I put down a King!"

"Because, you'd have to do this all day… and I put down a Jack! The right bower. That beats King."

"No it doesn't!"

"Yes, it does."

"Jack, king, queen- ohh. Fine."

"Told you."

"And I don't do this everyday, fool."

"Good."

"Yeah, for once, I agree."

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

**Sunday 8/10/18 **

"So how did the gang take your magical 'african flu' recovery?"

"Not so sure they believed it."

"Damn, well, to me it was convincing."

Gaara just shook his head and, to my surprise, kissed me. "I think you're insane."

"Same to you, lovie." I smiled at him brightly.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Wednesday - 11/10/18 **

Gaara has to meet the new Hokage soon, I really don't care, seeing as it's probably nobody I know, seeing as the people I know would a) rather die then get into politics or b) be killed if they got into politics. So either way, they'd never really make it to be the Hokage.

So today, I am on the roof. It's hot. Very hot, and I think it was probably a mistake coming up here at like one. Without sunblock. I can feel the back of my neck turning into bacon. Which is NOT attractive. If the back of Gaara's neck was bacon, I can say I would not touch him. Ever. So if I'm really bacon, then I can understand if he kicks me out.

All this bacon talk is making me hungry. And also making me regret having cereal for breakfast, when I COULD have had bacon.

I am a silly girl.

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

**5:34**

Damnit. Bacon isn't included in general lunch menu's, and since I haven't been helping out in the kitchens lately, they won't let me cook any myself. If I was intelligent, I would just borrow a saucepan, and make it up in my little small kitchen.

But I have this feeling, it would only end in burning and tears. So I'm not.  
……………………………………………………………………………………………..

**7:40**

Oww. Oww. Oww. Bacon oil. Owww. Oww. Hot. Oww.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**7:41  
**

Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. My back of fingers/forehead burns. Gaara says it serves me right. I said stop it with the bad puns. He didn't understand, and then I was all 'SERVE? FOOD?' and he was like 'that's a shit bad pun' and I was like 'it wasn't me who SAID it!' and he's like 'yeah, but you pointed it out.' And I was like 'because YOU said it!'

Point being, he had no sympathy for the crippled.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

**7:57 **

One thing you learn to love from being burnt, is Paw Paw Ointment. It is my new God.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

**Thursday 12/10/18 **

Boreeeeeeeeeed. Went to help with laundry today, buuuuuuuuuut, I couldn't. since the water was way to hot for my burnt hands/forehead to handle.

And now, what's worse? I SMELL OF BACON. ALWAYS.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**12:08**

And do you realize how hungry that made me? Especially since, I didn't even get to EAT the bacon that burnt my little pinky finger to a crisp.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Saturday 14/10/18**

Gaara is being all secretive with all this 'New Hokage' stuff. He's all 'just meetings' to everything I ask, eg.

"So whatcha gonna do with this new Hokage? Why is he a-visiting?"

"Meetings."

"Oh, so nothing great?"

"Meetings."

"Who is he, really?"

"Meetings."

"… oh, so I take it he's a pretty shitty person?"

"Meetings."

"Gaara, are you listening."

"Meet- yes."

I glare at him, and go to sit on the couch and eat various kinds of cheese and crackers.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

**4:23 **

Yeah, I kinda gave up on Bacon. It doesn't have the same appeal.

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Monday 16/10/18 **

Gaara is off on his 'Secret New Hokage' business. I am quite bored. And I keep hearing weird bits of conversations from the vent, so they must be like downstairs.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

**11:22**

…. Hmmm……

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Hello all! Umm, Sora has blonde hair, blue eyes and is probably getting a billion freckles from her time in Suna. (don't worry, I can't remember who asked, may have been Shareth, but I'm not sure…) **

**Anyway, I LOVE YOU. Lots. Thanks so much! **

**Love, to-love. **


	21. The chase

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Chapter Twenty-One: **

_Careful. We don't want to learn from this.__- __Bill Watterson_

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**4:32 **

I had to get several chairs, and stack them on top of one-another to reach the vent. It wasn't vertically above my head like the one in Sound was, it was against the top of the side-wall. It was a large, very square vent, and it also had no coverings, since nobody really expected to be crawling through the vent from the suit second to the Kazekages (since Gaara refuses to sleep in the MASSIVE house-like one) and it was somewhat cleaner then Sound's vents too. But the bad thing was, about every three meters when the vent led to a floor down, it would suddenly drop off into nothingness, and since this was the second-top floor, who knows how far down it would really fall.

The vent smelt like old crackers, and yeast. And the personal whiff that you'd inhale as you went past other people's rooms. As I crawled, the voices got louder, and then softer, and then louder again. I was getting worried about being lost at this stage, so I crawled back to the first drop-off I encountered, and hesitantly put my foot into it. Relief spread through me as I found that this drop was small enough for me to step down onto, and that these vents must be made like a brick wall, with a drop, then a horizontal run for a bit, then another drop, ect.

Eventually, I found Temari's room, I could tell, because she was in there. The vent in her room was obviously on the roof, because there was a small drop before it went into the opening. I leant over this and peered into her room, convincing myself I was not spying. I was just looking. Without permission.

Eventually, I found Temari boring, and continued on. Where suddenly, I had nothing for my hands to grip onto, my front-half fell forewords and I hurtled downwards into a hole, a hole that didn't stop, my bare hands ran over the slippery metal surfaces, I'd been only slightly alarmed when I'd fallen, more concerned about getting a bloody nose around here, but then, panic spread through me as I didn't stop falling. Small screws cut into my hands, and I pushed with all my might against the sides and slowly slid to a halt, panting, and my hands burned like hell from the previous burn, plus the friction, I stood stock-still, my heart felt like I was going to explode at any moment. Oh god, I was going to die in this vent, and nobody would know until they started to smell something disgusting. My eyes started to sting, but I shook my head, and started to wriggle upwards until my right hand gave way, and fell into a blank space, I fell to the right where I had been sure I could rest my weight, I fell downwards, and my under-arm took the brunt of it, but I didn't care about pain anymore, just about not getting stuck here and rotting and nobody noticing. So I then quickly scrambled into the vent space, ignoring the throbbing under my arm.

Breathing heavily, I sat there for quite some time, panting and shaking slightly. Okay, so these vents were more dangerous then the one-story dorm rooms of Sound.

Eventually, by some miracle, I found my way back to the corridor where Gaara's room runs off, and didn't risk going any further in the vent. I dropped down when I guessed nobody was looking, and stumbled along to the room.

When Gaara came back, I was sitting on the couch with ice packs on both my hands, on the back, and on the palms, and another bandage under my arm from where I'd fallen downwards onto the vent opening. Gaara didn't ask, I was still in shock. Possibly the most near-death thing since walking the corridors in highschool everyday I'd encountered. Gaara, eventually, lifted up the teatowl I had on my underarm, and then walked me to the nurse, where she didn't ask questions, put disinfectant on it, and I was sent back with some painkillers, as well as another tube of paw paw ointment.

"I sometimes really wish I could leave the room without you obtaining some kind of minor injury." He sighed.

I was still pale, as I could tell by the look of mild concern on Gaara's face (note: MILD Concern) "Yeah, me too."

He shook his head, and went off to shower.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Tuesday 17/10/18 **

And he's still, through all this, being all 'secretive Hokage-Kazekage business.'

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Wednesday 18/10/18 **

Okay, so the previous burns on the BACK of my hands are practically better, since they were only very minor. But the friction burns on the palm of my hands still hurt, but I could feel the difference already Paw Paw had made to them.

My underarm-area though, had suffered a little, I hadn't noticed how bad it was in the heat of the moment because I was too scared I'd fall down the rest of the three stories in a vent.

I didn't tell Gaara about it, I decided I'd probably broken several million billion laws by doing that, so, I just kept quiet and hoped nobody heard a small horse-like being galloping around in the vents.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**3:32 **

I'm going insane. I NEED to know about this secret Hokage business. SO MUCH. Errggg. I wanna know who it is! And when I went down to the public TV room to watch with Kankuro, the channel with the political news had been disabled. I almost screamed, I knew it was Gaara. There was something he didn't want me to see.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Thursday 19/10/18 **

You'd think I would learn my lessons, but I never do.

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

**5:19**

So I learnt a bit from last time, I brought a flashlight, something I never needed in sound because light would shine from the nearest opening, and I knew my way around too well to get lost.

So really, the flashlight went first with everything. I'd shine it down, and mostly I would see the bottom within an easy fall, the hole I'd gotten myself into trouble in, stood out as it was about four meters from the end of the tunnel, and it was the longest drop. My flashlight could not illuminate the bottom, I felt a little sick when I looked at it, really.

So I went back, and then listened, I checked room after room, ate a little lunch (aka, some bread) and then continued on for some time. Conference room after conference room, global crises after global crises. Small-time annoying wanna-be politician after small-time annoying wanna-be politician. If I were Gaara, and wasn't looking down on this from a small hole in the sky, I would go insane.

I also, learnt a bit more, and had bought some crazy tape that glowed when you shun light on it, the kind people put on their bikes so they don't get hit by cars. And I marked bits and pieces and opening ands the suck with it, so I wouldn't get lost on the way back.

I knew where the main conference room was, and found it at what my guess was midday. I heard Gaara's voice, and my heardrate picked up, and I quietened my army-shuffle so I could get close to the vent.

The vent was above the right hand side of the table, looking down on the room. I could see Gaara's red hair, and some woman with blonde hair, and more people that I couldn't see properly.

Nothing interesting happened for a while, but then Gaara spoke up.

"It's nearly midday, there is lunch waiting just next door." And so they got up, and as they did, a small snippit of a voice I would recognize anywhere reached my ears. Of course that was Gaara.

"Finally, I hate thinking on an empty stomach; it has to be worse then slave labor." The woman's voice, I knew it too. It was one of the biggest surprises I'd had in a long while. A surprise from Konoha, alright. It was _Tsnuade_.

I gasped, and Gaara seemed to stop, but then keep moving. I knew he thought he'd heard me. And I also knew he'd excuse himself in about two moments to go back to the room.

Shit, shit. My mind raced. It was either get caught, or, try and win a race I had no chance of winning. Where was the closes place I could drop down into? I thought quickly, and practically ran on my hands and knee's along the vent, and then roughly pulled at the vent into Temari's personal room, only to find it screwed on. I swore, loudly. Of course they would have things better secured then Sound.

I traveled along some more, and tried at every vent I could find. The one in _our_ room was loose! Somewhere else had to be too, please… please, please.

Suddenly, the voice I'd heard before, Tsnuade's, came wafting through the vent again, I looked down, and realized I was practically standing ontop of her. She was alone, leaning against a pole, waiting probably, for Gaara to come back.

I thought quickly. What were the chances? Ergg. I knocked on the vent.

"Tsnuade." I hiss.

She jumps, and looks around.

"Up." I say again.

Her head shoots upwards, a hostile wary glance in her eye, and then she recognizes me, and it softens, and then hardens once again. "Sorano… Sora! What the fuck are you doing in that _vent_!?"

"No time! Just get me out!"

"What? How?"

"Happen to have a screwdriver handy?"

"No…"

"Well, just throw something."

"I am not going to destroy a vent!"

"Fine, then can you go catch Gaara?"

She, I think, was too surprised to argue, so when she ran, I started shuffling as quick as I could, nearly falling into the down-vents several times, before I reached where I had put the tape, and ripped off the vent, I could hear they're voices outside. I climbed down, put the vent cover back on, and unstacked the chairs.

I had enough time to run into the bathroom, quickly wet my hair, and wait until I heard the door open, and then flush the toilet and put the tap on for a second, and then walk out and rubbing a towel through my hair.

"Hey! You're back early."

Gaara gave a me glance over. I smiled back brightly. "Any trouble with the Mystery-Hokage?" I ask cheerfully.

He knew, I know he did. In typical Gaara drama, without saying anything, he stormed out and went back down the hall. I'd probably made him mad, I knew I would not be allowed to go through the vents.

After he was out of sight, I ran down the hall after time, and trailed time to the conference room, where I ran into Kankuro.

"Kankuro." I hiss. "Kanuro! Kankuro you cankerous bastard! Over here."

He turns, his mouth full of some kind of chicken salad sandwich. "Hm?"

"Can you get Tsnuade out of there for a second?"

He pales. "How…?"

"You can't keep secrets from me," I tell him sternly. "It's not any skill of _mine_, I can't find them, but it seems they can't help but find me."

Kankuro laughed. "Fine, I guess so. I don't know why Gaara didn't want you knowing in the first place, but anyway-,"

"Gaara's a drama queen, we all know that." I said, smiling. "He seems to think my fragile mental state can't handle much. But I can tell you, it's that kind of fragile that's secretly made out of steel."

Kankuro shakes his head. "Whatever." And goes off to go get (who I hoped) would be Tsnuade.

I waited, wringing my hands and smoothing my hair, suddenly feeling like I was in trouble, standing outside the art block. What kind of self-respecting artist turns into a politician? WHO?

She came out, a wry smile on her face, and still in a revealing top. But I didn't care that my face would be most likely smothering in her boobs, I still flung myself at her and hugged her madly.

"TSNUADE. How? Why? _WHY_?" I ask. I felt like I was 15, and suddenly felt very vulnerable. Kakashi and Iruka, they were friends more then teachers. Tsnuade was still a teacher to me.

"I don't know, it just happened, I mean, I have to admit, Naruto talked me into it somewhat." I frown, that was strange.

"Before anything else, can I ask how and why you were in the vent?"

"Uhh… no, not really."

"…Okay."

"It's really just about the obvious answers. One, I crawled in, and two, to find out who the Mystery-Hokage that I couldn't meet was."

"I see."

"Yeah."

"Well…"

"Don't blame Gaara, he gets a little insane sometimes. I think it's this Kazekage business. He'll never admit to it though."

Her lips twitched upwards. "Good to see ya, kid."

I smile brightly. "You too."

"…But I did hope you'd grow more."

I twitch. "I hoped you'd grow more too." I give her a glare. "Especially out of the low-cut tops."

She laughed. "I had that coming."

"So how is everyone?"

"Good.. Good, I don't see them much now, though."

"So Naruto and Sasuke…?"

"Still together, and back in town, last thing I heard."

I sigh. "You know…?"

"All I know," she said defensively. "Is that Naruto made some kind of mistake, you got mad, and then ran off."

I smile, I'd expected that. "Gaara contacted me, Tsnuade. For three months he sent letters."

"And Naruto…?"

"Hid them." I say sadly.

She winced. "Okay, then he deserves what he's getting.

I nod. "I know."

"You aren't planning on forgiving him?"

"Not yet… but one day, maybe."

"Make sure one day is soon Sora, Naruto makes stupid, dumb mistakes that only he would ever make. But he's still one of the most honorable people you'll ever meet."

"So you're saying, if before we got to sound I said 'hey, Naruto, promise me that when Gaara sends me letters, you won't hide them or anything, kay?' and then he would have said 'Kay!' and we all would have been happy?"

Tsnuade scowled at me, and then laughed. "You've grown up, Sora."

I laugh to. "Nah, I've just gotten louder." I smile.

She shakes her head and then looks around suddenly. "I better get back… I have this weird feeling we weren't supposed to see each other."

"Come with me tomorrow, I'll show you the park bench I sit on sometimes."

"I can't Sora; I'll probably be shot at at least six times before I leave the building."

I wink at her. "Not with me around, you won't."

…………………………………………………………………………………………

**HELLO ALL. LONGER UPDATE THIS TIME,BECAUSE I FIGURED YOU DESERVED IT. :D **

**Love you. LOTS. And LOTS. **

**Love, to-love. **

**P.S. this quote is added to my list of fave quotes, I have to say. I love it. **


	22. Fragility

………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Chapter Twenty-Two: **

_Never face facts: if you do, you'll never get up in the morning. – Marlo Thomas_

…………………………………………………………………………………………

**Friday 20/10/18 **

So we went out, we both wore Suna gear, but I continued with my Suna-slogan T-shirts, I got a new one the other day, it says 'SUNA4EVER.' In bright blue. It was also only $2.50 because it had a rip in it. I sewed it up.

Tsnuade found my clothing hilarious, and after a while of scowling at her for laughing, I started to laugh along with her. The image of her as a teacher was slowly slipping away, and being replayed by the image of a plain old friend I just hadn't seen in a while.

And so we sat on the bench I usually sit on, and she was really jumpy for a while but after a bit, she relaxed.

"So if you do this all the time, how the hell are you still alive?"

I shrug. "I dunno, but whoever or whatever is keeping me alive, I've learnt to trust it."

She laughed. "One day it'll sleep in late or something, you know."

I smile. "Yeah, I know."

"You don't stutter or anything anymore."

I grin. "Sometimes, but not often. Only when I'm extremely nervous. Same as before."

"You were a nervous child."

I nod philosophically. "I was."

…………………………………………………………………………………………

**4:30 **

I am in trrrouuubllleee. Big trouble. Gaara was waiting for us at the top of the elevator. Somehow, in a weird way, even Tsnuade seemed to look a bit guilty, even though she is the Hokage. But she snapped out of that quickly, and excused herself. I grinned sheepishly.

"Please, please don't fucking tell me you went outside with the Hokage." He groaned, as we walked to our room.

"She needed to get out."

"She could have been shot." He had the underlying tone that was almost half the deadly seriousness of an exclamation mark.

"No she couldn't have." I say smoothly.

He just shoots me a dirty look, and keeps walking.

"Gaara," I start. "Were you planning _not_ to tell me Tsnuade was here?"

"Yes." He answered firmly.

I stop in shock. "But why?"

"Because I didn't know what would happen." He said. "I thought it was better not to risk it."

We got into our rooms, and I shut the door loudly behind me, and narrowed me eyes at him. "Risk what, Gaara?" I somewhat already knew the answer.

"You know the answer."

I did. He thought I might breakdown, and have to go back to Konoha, and cry my eyes out everyday for the rest of my life, I twitch. One fit, and I was doomed to be thought of as some extremely fragile person? Little did he know just the other day I nearly killed myself falling into a vent.

Fragile my ass.

"Gaara, I'm not some mentally messed girl who needs some kind of insanity safety net to catch her every time I fall," if he wanted to catch me, he should have been in that god-damned vent. "Really. Just because of one little thing, is everybody going to think I'm mentally unstable for the rest of my life?"

He looked at me with raised eyebrows, paused and then answered. "Yes."

I bristle with anger. "Well that's not fair at all!' I snap. "I'm not fucking fragile, not anymore! _Everybody_, Gaara, _everybody_ seems to be so afraid I'll breakdown, but I won't! And you know what I've noticed?"

"What, Sora?" he was ticked off too now.

"Everybody seems to pretend to care mostly for me, but really they just don't want me to leave. They shield me from memories of Konoha so I can't return there, everybody, excluding people like Kimimaro or Sasuke, seems to be censoring what I fucking see or do, so they can keep control over me." I breathe heavily. "It's not my shitty fragility problem, it's everybody else's, Gaara, its _yours_." I couldn't explain why I was so angry, it's just a sore spot, I hated this idea that I was like expensive china, that needed to be verbally bubble-wrapped.

Not only had I referred to Kimimaro, which he was quite jealous of I think, I'd said he was dependant on me. Two things I was throwing out there because I was angry, and just wanted to see him cringe.

"You're just still cut up from Naruto, Sora." He said simply, I hated his calm simplicity. It just made me angrier.

"I am not! You're dismissing my statement!"

"No, I'm telling you what's really going on."

I scream in frustration. "Gaara stop it! You know exactly what I am talking about! And you are just too scared to face the fact you love somebody! Gaara, listen, you hear that, you love me. And it has to be _me_ that says it!"

And there, it'd come out. I regret it instantly. I felt vunerable, what if he said he didn't? What if he suddenly decided I'd become to clingy, and threw me out? I'd lose him.

He said nothing, we just both sat and stared at one-another, my chest was heaving and I could tell I was pale.

"Gaara, you know I love you. You always have, what do I get in return? Sex and a place to stay?"

He turned and left then, I nodded to myself, and sat down hard on the couch. Sighing, and refusing to cry, because I didn't want to humiliate myself more then I already had, I fell asleep on the couch.

………………………………………………………………………………………..

**Saturday 20/10/18 **

I can't believe I said that. I mean, I worried intensely about it for some time. But then dismissed it because it was stupid. But I guess the worry never left. I hate heat-of-the-moment conversations. They only end in me feeling stupid.

And then all Gaara does in heat-of-the-moment conversations is stare angrily and watch me make a fool of myself.

Tsnuade leaves tomorrow. I had lunch with her today, but I didn't talk about last night. She didn't ask, we just talked about Konoha, and how it was going. She didn't see much of it nowadays though.

…………………………………………………………………………………………

**Sunday 21/10/18 **

Gaara was in today, he didn't speak to me yet. But he did sleep in the same bed at least. I think he did, anyway.

I saw Tsnuade off to the doors, knowing I'd be in trouble (well, more trouble) if I went outside with them all. I told her to say hello to Kakashi or Iruka, if, on the unlikely chance, she ran into them.

"Sora," she said, just before she was going to go, we were standing outside my rooms door.

I close the door behind me, a sash in my hands, and face her smiling. "Hm?"

"This may sound crazy, and I have heard of the trouble that you've been through getting here… but," she paused. "Are you really happy here?"

I was taken aback, I was living with the Kazekage, who also happened to be the man I loved, despite his insanity. "Am I happy here?" I laugh. "Why would you ask?"

"You stay cooped up in this room, get in trouble when you go outside, you've got people everywhere controlling you like you were in primary school."

I blink several times. "Well, yes, but it's for my own safety. I mean, I do go out a lot. And I'm not really supposed too."

"You're also a grown woman, Sorano."

"Most people wouldn't agree, I mean, I stopped growing in year eight, and yet, puberty hasn't really hit my chest yet,- somewhere deep inside I'm still hoping, you see- and I do do silly things, like crawl through vents and drop bacon oil on myself so I stink for a week…. So I think the orders are for my own protection."

She shook her head and sighed. "Well, they've got you pinned, haven't they. Oh well, Sora, one day you'll want to be free of all this … secutrity. You're what, Twenty?"

"Nineteen."

"So young… and here you are locked up being treated like a mix of an old woman and a five-year-old. This is the age you're supposed to be out exploring the world, making terrible mistakes and then regretting it for the rest of your life."

I grin. "I've already done that, it isn't that interesting."

She laughed. "Fine, have it your way." And then she left. I laughed, and waved at her back.

It was nice to see her.

…………………………………………………………………………………………

**Monday 22/10/18 **

Gaara was in an angry mess, so I think he was too busy to remember the fact we'd had a huge argument the other night. Well, not huge. But important.

……………………………………………………………………………………….

**3:37 **

Something to do with land and money, same as always.

…………………………………………………………………………………………

**Tuesday 23/10/18 **

"Stupid fucking small countries asking for lots of land at small prices." He threw his outer formal clothes on the ground and stormed into the shower, I sat with my knee's up on the couch.

"Huh?"

The only answer I received was the loud spurt of hot water coming from the shower, followed by a large amount of steam flowing out the door, since he'd forgotten to shut it. I scowl, and go and shut it for him.

He was avoiding speaking about our argument. But I was fine with pretending it never happened, I guess. But occasionally there are these silences, where we both know we're both thinking about what each other said, or didn't say.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

**HELLO. I LOOOOOVE YOUUUU. THANK YOU SO VERY VERY VERY INTENSELY MUCH. INTENNNSEEE LOOVEEE. RIGHT HERE. INTENSE. VERY. INTENSE. SO INTENSE, YOU'LL DIE. OF INTENSE. LOVE. **

**Sounds like rape of some kind. **

**Anyway, I LOVE YOUUU. . love, to-love. **


	23. Halloween

………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Chapter Twenty-Three: **

_Politics is the skilled use of blunt objects. - __Lester B. Pearson_

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

**Wednesday 24/10/18 **

"So you and Gaara pissed at each other?"

I glare at Kankuro. "No. We're not."

"That's not what I heard."

"Well, you're messed in the head, so I wouldn't trust what you hear anyhoo."

"I'm not messed in the head!"

This, was an argument we'd had so many times, even I was starting to find it boring. I sighed. "Okay, whatever." Grinning, I continue. "So what's all this about some puncy little country trying to buy land off us at ridiculous prices?"

Kankuro shrugged. "Just Ataksuki."

"Isn't that a college?" I ask, my mind immediately flashing memories of Itachi up

He laughed. "It's mainly a college!"

"Huh?"

"It's actually a very _very_ small country. They became independent some years ago, but the piece of land was so small, nobody cared."

"…And now they think they can buy the neighboring land and have no problems?"

"Yeah."

"So who cares?"

"Well, you see….," he paused, and looked around to make sure the eating room was empty. "I have to say, Ataksuki is probably harboring more wanted men then anywhere else on earth. God knows how many people that should be in jail are living there."

"So that's why they became they're own country?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"And why doesn't somebody just invade them?"

"Because…I dunno, this'll sound really stupid, but we've all got a kind of fear about them. We should crush them now, but what would everybody else think? Huge Suna, crushing the tiniest little country next door who never does any harm." He shook his head. "They're too clever, and as well, they have one of the colleges with the highest standards around. So invading them would really make a lot of supposedly intelligent people really angry."

"And that's never a good idea." I sigh. "Oh well, I'll let Gaara handle this."

"Yeah, it's not like you'd be able to do anything anyway."

I scowl at him. "I could do plenty."

He laughs. "What? Help with the laundry?"

I scowl more at him and storm out of the room. I hate it when I lose to Kankuro.

………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Thursday 25/10/18 **

Today, I risked exploring the vents again. Sticking more reflective flouro tape on corners and around holes that I might fall into. And you think, 'hey, what happens if some random janitor person crawls in there and sees all of it?' But I've thought of that, you see, this janitor will most likely go insane trying to figure out who was in that vent, so, I left a note. It read:

_Dear janitor, _

_Well, you might not be a janitor. You may just be a highly successful senator with some kind of taste for adventure. Or you might be me, and if you are, put this back! Anyway, point being, don't remove these tapes, because one day I will probably be crawling along with my flashlight, and if they're not there, I will fall to my unexpected death. And think about the poor person who happens to find a body in a vent. How traumatized would they be? _

_Anyway, thanks heaps! I hope we came to an understanding. _

_From me. (Incase I'm still alive/living here when you get this, I can't say my name yet. If I leave, I'll put a note here saying who I am. So you don't go insane. But before then, I can't, because that would be really quite stupid.) _

So hopefully the Janitor/Senator with a taste for adventure will leave the reflective pieces of tape there.

…………………………………………………………………………………………

**Friday 26/10/18 **

"Sora, do you know how dangerous crawling around in these vents is?"

I cringe, damnit, I'd known the 'vents are a no-go zone' talk would come. "Yes, which is why I would never do such a thing, I was so lost and immature at Sound." I shake my head in mock disbelief. "How I have grown."

Gaara gives me a look that says 'God you're annoying' and continues anyway. "I really don't think about care about the danger anyway, and I guess you already know. Seeing as I now understand where those injuries came from the other day."

I give him an innocent look. "I tripped over."

"I know." He said dryly.

I grin at him, kiss his nose and then walk to the shower. "Don't worry, I'm sure I'll be more careful next time I'm walking."

He sighs, realizing there will be no reasoning with me, and lies on the couch, probably to immerse himself in self-pity over what kind of crazy women he's housing.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

**Saturday 27/10/18 **

Since I'm not welcome in the kitchens (I was away for too long) and same with the laundry people, exploring the venting system has become my new hobby. I nearly fell down the big hole again today, but managed to scramble upwards out of it before I fell so far again.

This time, I went up two vent-hole things, and then there was a long, straight un broken vent, when I got to the next room, I realized I was in the second building. My stomach lurched. I'd crossed over the bridge to the other building like a billion meters above the air. In a vent.

The way back was terrifying. Suddenly every movement or creak of the vent seemed like a death-omen, as soon as I got back to the room, I ran out to the bridge and looked up at the vent, swaying slightly, then I had to run full-bolt back to the nearest bathroom where I threw up violently.

After, I went and sat with Kankuro at our usual time around lunch. He must have noticed how pale I was, since he was extra-nice to me, and even let me have the huge squishy chair that he usually gets because he can threaten to sit on me. And if that happened, my legs would break.

I ate about four times my usual amount, since I'd thrown up all the nutrients I'd had previously.

…………………………………………………………………………………………

**Tuesday 30/10/18 **

It's Halloween tomorrow. It's weird, because in all my other diaries, I've never really documented this part of the year. It's always just been until mid-winter or so. Now the weather is just getting warmer and warmer.

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

**5:16**

Today, after realizing how much I really love the comfy squishy chair, Kankuro and I had the biggest fight ever. We'd seen each other in the halls, and subtly tried to walk fast then the other, until we were side-by-side and squished, sprinting full bolt down the hallway , I tripped him over (honestly, by accident, but I hurt me too, because since I'm like his knee-height, it's likely he tripped over _me_, not just my feet) We ran into the room, and dived for the comfy chair. And here is where I went wrong, I got there first. If I was intelligent, I really _wouldn't_ have.

We both jumped, I got there first, but before I could even cheer my victory, Kankuro landed on me. It's a miracle I didn't drown in a mix of the squishy chair's intense comfort and Kankuro's fat.

He did get up once he realized he was suffocating me, and I rolled off the chair and landed on the ground, winded, and sat there trying to recover my breathing for several long minutes.

And the sad thing? Kankuro didn't seem to care, once I could breathe properly again, all I did was insult his weight. I really hope he gets anorexia and dies.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Thursday 31/10/18 **

In my amazing festive spirit, I hung up little paper bats everywhere. Especially on Kankuro's fat face. He seemed a little sorry now, but of course he'd never say it. I just sat and counted he amount of bat's I could fit on his huge face, and then compared them to the amount that could fit on mine.

"See! PROOF YOU NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT." I say angrily.

He scowled at me through the layer of bats that coated his face. "I do not."

I lifted up my shirt to show the big purple bruise that covered my stomach. "Yeah! You do!"

He then, laughed so hard he could breathe, sighing, I then proceeded to one-by-one rip the bats off his face. Taking quite a bit of his eyebrows with them.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

**7:36 **

When Gaara came in tonight, he laughed for the first time in about two weeks. I was glad, because after our argument, all he seemed to do was berate me. I told him about how Kankuro is obese, and showed him the huge bruise and then told him now to worry if Kankuro was missing half his eyebrow.

I kissed him on the mouth, cutting off his laughing. "I love it when you laugh."

He sighed, but I didn't care, I kissed him again. "You need to do it more."

"What makes you so happy tonight? All you've done is wax half of Kankuro's facial hair off."

"You have no idea how satisfying that is." I tell him, grinning.

He laughs again. And really, as much as I'd love to just stop and listen to the sound, I can't, I have to kiss him again.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

**1/11/18 **

My how the month has passedddd. I've now been here for two and a bit months. 48 days, wow. 48 sounds so small, for all that's happened.

But when I think about it, nothing much has happened, really. It's just that 48 days sounds like such a small number for an amount of time that feels like forever.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

**2/11/18 **

You know what's scary? I have no idea what's happening for my own wedding. Really, the only think I know is who I'm marrying. And that's it.

Ahhhhhh. Am I supposed to know something to say? Am I!? And I supposed to know WHEN it is? Am I?! What if it's NOW!?

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

**10:22**

My god. What if it IS now? And Gaara is sitting there looking moody because I'm late!

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

**10:24**

okay, calm down, Sora, it's not like your wedding is today.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

**10:27**

I know! I will…. Go down to the foyer, and wander about for a while, and if nobody says 'SORA! YOUR WEDDING!' then I will know I'm safe.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

**10:43**

Okay, so I went down to the foyer and wandered about for a while, but all I got was a strange look from the receptionist. Sooooo, I figure, my wedding isn't today.

………………………………………………………………………………………..

**10:18pm**

Gaara looked angry today, and for a moment I suddenly thought my wedding _was_ on. It was a scary life-threatening moment, but then he went on in an angry rant about small countries again. So I then figured I must be insane.

…………………………………………………………………………………………

**10:32**

But just incase I'm not insane, I checked anyway.

"Soo… any… _weddings_ today?" I ask subtly.

He gives me a strange look. "No… why?"

"Oh, nothing…" I now have to get myself out of this situation without looking like a freak.

"Sora, I'll tell you when w have to get married."

I swear. "I was subtle though!"

He gives me a dry look. It says 'no, no you weren't. You weren't at all.'

I stick my tongue out at him. "I was plenty of subtle."

He almost grins. "You make no sense."

…………………………………………………………………………………………

**HELLO ALL. I DO LOVE YOU. LOTS AND LOTS AND INDESCRIBABLY AMOUNTS OF LOTS. It is mothers birthday tomorrow, and I have made her a picture-book called the 'slightly larger then average book for people with a taste for a slightly larger then average life.' but shhhhh. Don't tell anybody. Oh, and chocolates. Them too. Mmmm. But that's only because I have hopes I'll be able to eat some. **

**:P LOVE YOU. **


	24. Rememberance

…………………………………………………………………………………………

**Chapter Twenty-Four**:

_There ought to be one day-- just one-- when there is open season on senators.__ - __Will Rogers_

…………………………………………………………………………………………

**3/11/18**

It was hot today. Like other days, it's been manageable, and since I refuse to use air conditioning every day, I've just survived. But today was like hell. Times a billion.

When I managed to drag myself down into the air conditioned bliss of the eating-place-room thing, Kankuro was already there.

I glare. "Don't you do _anything_?"

He grins. "I'm finished."

I snort. "Yeah, as if. Your just a slacker. God knows why Gaara employs you." And with that, I go off to plead with the kitchen staff for about 100 litres of ice-cream. I only end up getting a 2litre container, and even that took some hard bargaining.

Despite the fact that I think Kankuro should be on a treadmill, not a sofa, I let him share my ice-cream with me anyhoo.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

**Monday 4/11/18 **

I re-read my Diaries today. Just briefly, y'know. I really shouldn't have. I miss Kimimaro, I SHOULD write to him… But I wouldn't know what to say. He could see through me, even if I wasn't there, if I wrote as if nothing happened. And yet, I don't want to disturb him by writing a mushy note begging for forgiveness. I think I'll have to wait and just tell him in person.

And before those words could really dry on the paper, here comes another idea. The dilemma has made me confused, do I invite him to my wedding? I mean, it's not really even a wedding. It's more just so I don't get stabbed by religious freaks who are anti-sex-before-marriage and have also been taking drugs. Which apparently, Gaara's publicist seems to think there are a lot of.

But while Gaara and the Publicist's reason for this is to keep me at least a little more safe, I guess a wedding for me is just an excuse to see everyone again, I hope, by that time, I'll be willing to face Naruto, and hear him out at least. Maybe it's best for Kimimaro, actually, I don't know at all. But either way, I will invite him, because I love him, even if it's not in the same way.

Errgg, as soon as I put these thoughts on paper, more problems occur to me about them, Gaara will have to behave himself. I mean, he's read my stupid Sound diary. I really shouldn't have let him, because then he'd just think Kimimaro was gay or something. Well, I would have told him Kimimaro was gay. But that plan would fail right about now.

Maybe, if I'm lucky, they'll both get along? No, that's just stupid. Gaara gets jealous easily… and Kimimaro, well, I don't really know, but I don't trust him to behave either.

Either way, I guess I just invite Kimimaro to the wedding and see how things pan out. It may be disastrous, but I'll have Kakashi and Sasuke there for damage control. Something inside me is really, really, really excited about this. Well, not marriage-wise, I don't really mind about that. I don't _not_-want to marry Gaara, but really, if I had to do the organizing, I would say I can't be bothered. But since I'm not, then I have nothing to worry about.

I'm getting myself quite excited. I miss Sakura and Shikamaru and Kakashi and everyone so much. I don't know how I feel about Naruto, but there is a particular ache for Sasuke, who I'm missing especially. I miss the fact he confides in me, when he doesn't in anybody else. I miss the way he gets angry so easily and how he just sits there and doesn't really mind anything. Unless it involves him.

Haha, if I were to tell anybody about him, without them knowing him, he would sound like the most annoying boring person on earth. Which he is sometimes, but I love him. And Shikamaru! Him and all his intelligentness. And Kakashi, and the way he's so lazy. And Iruka, who is still trying to discourage his dirty addiction to disgusting books, I admire his tenacity. And Sakura, who is just Sakura. And I love her too.

…………………………………………………………………………………………

**Tuesday 5/11/18 **

Kankuro sighed, and sat down angrily with some kind of greasy food, that wouldn't have come from the kitchens because they are trying to be healthy and great. He chews it angrily, and I lose all interest over knowing what it was.

"Why so angry?" I ask, ignoring my disgust.

"Stupid small countries."

I sighed. 'Again?" I cluck at him. "Serious, you guys should stop being so scared of those bullies, really, all they are is cowards." I reprimand.

He gives me an annoyed look. "You don't know these people, Sora, they are messed. Last time a country didn't give them what they wanted, they kidnapped the leaders daughters. Only one of them came back, and there was no recallation of where she had been, and she said it was somebody else. They all knew it was Ataksuki, but there was no proof."

I raise my eyebrows. "Smart guys."

He nods. "We know," He swears under his breath. "And it just happened to be a mysterious miracle that his daughter turned up at exactly the same time as he gave in and agreed on they're price."

I shake my head. "You gotta admire the guys."

He grimaces. "Yeah, a bit."

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

**Wednesday 6/11/18 **

Gaara had the same thing to say when he got in last night. "I. Hate. Those. Bastards."

I frown. "Ataksuki?"

He turned sharply. "How do you know? I've never once mentioned the name."

It suddenly occurred to me that Kankuro probably shouldn't have told. "Yeah you have." I get out, my voice high.

"Sora, who told you?"

"Nobody, I overheard from… the…. Sky." I busy myself with random things, like picking up dirty clothes, and making the bed.

"Were you in the fucking vent Sora!?" and suddenly a way out appeared, Kankuro better love me forever for this.

"We all know the answer to that." I turn and face him, giving him a stern look, just as he opens his mouth to tell me how stupid I can be, I cut him off. "Of course I didn't."

He glowers, I don't know what he has against my venting, but I think he just hates the fact I have some way of knowing and going everywhere he'd never want me to go or know.

I grin at him, he's been cranky lately, but that happens. Life is just one huge ball of cranky.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

**Thursday 7/11/18 **

"Sora, promise me something."

"Deeeepeends." I answer.

"No, really, this time it's not just about that small-time assassins, even your invisible talents won't save you from these guys."

"Who?"

"It doesn't matter."

"You don't know, do you?"

"Not yet…"

I sigh. "Fine, well, I won't go outside without good guards."

Gaara rolls his eyes. "Just don't go outside anyway, okay?"

"I'll try."

"Huh?"

"Well, what if I fall off the balcony? And then I'm outside. But it's not on purpose."

"Okay, fine, as long as you promise not to go outside, but it you fall off the balcony and end up outside but it's not on purpose, you'll be dead anyway, so we won't have to worry."

"Okay, I thought I'd clear that up."

…………………………………………………………………………………………

**Friday 8/11/18 **

Kankuro and I spent most of the morning in the Loungey place with the big TV. I got there first for once, so I claimed the squishy chair for myself, and also stole several onions from the kitchens, I told him that if he sat on me, I would put so much onion in his face he would never see again.

Only problem was I couldn't get the essence of onion off my hands. And so through the whole morning I was crying my eyes out while having a perfectly normal conversation, while being surrounded by about five onions on the floor.

"You should really just wash it off, Sora."

"No! Because then you'll take my chair." I get out, sniffing.

"Sakura, you look like you've been abused, and some of the crazy ministers are staring."

"I'M NOT CRYING." I sniff more, and gulp. "And I haven't been abused!"

He sighs. "Sora, you wiped onions all over your face, and now you're crying. GO WASH THE ONIONS OFF FOR GODS SAKE."

"I'M NOT CRYING."

"WELL THEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"MY EYES ARE JUST WATERING… LOTS."

"Face it, that's what crying is! You're an idiot, just go damn well wash your face!"

My words were hard to decipher because my eyes were watering so much, I sniffed more and rubbed the tears off my cheeks, where my eyes started to sting more. "Owwww! Owww!"

Kankuro, put his hands up in the air. "Just god-damned go! If I steal your chair, you can ask Gaara to execute me."

And without another word, I ran full-bolt to the kitchens and dived in the sink, which in my good fortune was filled with cool not-soapy water for rinsing. I ducked my entire face underwater and then washed off my hands, when I opened my now dry eyes, the entire kitchen staff was staring at me.

I grin. "I got some onions in my eye…" I say sheepishly, they shake their heads and go back to work, I walk dripping back to the lounge.

I gape as I enter the turn the corner, and say just about ever curse word in the English language, before picking up the onion on the floor and hurling it at Kankuro's fat face.

"YOU BASTARD. GET OUT OF MY CHAIR."

"You get onions in your eyes and go to wash them out, you lose." He says happily, reclining in the squishy chair's comforty goodness.

I pick up another onion and this time it meets its mark, and lands on his forhead. He glares at me. "Go away!"

And with that, I storm to Gaara's office, where, to his quiet amazement, he watches me shuffle through several piles of paper and forms until I find one for arrest, I grab a pen and start filling out names.

"Sora, have you been crying?"

I sniff. "No, now sign this."

"This is for Kankuro's arrest…"

"I know."

"I'm not signing this…"

"Why not?"

"Because… well, I can't say he hasn't committed crimes."

"Exactly! And he also lied. I tried to find execution papers, but I couldn't, so arrest will have to do."

"What did he do?"

"I had onions to put in his face, but then they just rubbed off on my hands, and so I started crying, and then he said that I could go wash it off and he wouldn't take my chair, BUT THEN HE DID."

Gaara rolled his eyes, and tossed the paper in the bin. I gape. "But, but! He said I had to right to execute him!"

"Just go and throw some onions at him so he cries."

I narrow my eyes at him, glower for a while, and then march right back, take the back door to the kitchens, borrow some more onions, crush them a bit (and wear gloves) and then march right up behind Kankuro, and shove them in his face.

When he starts crying his eyes out and runs off to the bathroom, I really couldn't care less.

…………………………………………………………………………………………

**Saturday 9/11/18 **

Kankuro isn't talking to me now, he says its okay for a girl to be crying, but it's just beyond wrong for a guy too. I just said well, there's no problem, is there?

And he just swore at me and walked off, so now I'm bored and alone.

………………………………………………………………………………………......

**5:45 **

This is the kind of time I wish I could go outside. Ahhhh. But noooooo.

…………………………………………………………………………………………

**HELLOHELLOHELLO! I LOVE YOU. THANKYOU SO MUCH FOR THE REVEIWS. THANKSTHANKSTHANKS. :D :D :D :D **

**Love you HEAPS, love, to-love. **


	25. Concern

…………………………………………………………………………………………

**Chapter Twenty-Five: **

_When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on - Franklin D. Roosevelt_

…………………………………………………………………………………………

**Sunday 10/11/18 **

Gaara was in early for the first time in weeks. I was happy to see him, and bounded up from the couch to hug him.

He surprised me by kissing me full on the mouth and holding me close. He was worried about something, I could see, very worried. He kissed me again roughly.

I look up at him, concerned. "Gaara, what's wrong?"

I didn't catch his response, but I let him wrap his arms around me and we sat on the couch together for a long while.

Something was very, very wrong.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

**Midnight **

I couldn't sleep, once I knew Gaara was asleep (which takes a very, very VERY long time, I've learned. Gaara hardly sleeps before me, that just _proves_ something's weird), I decided to screw his non-outside rules, and rugged up and crawled onto the roof. It was cool, and for the first time in what seemed like ages I got to stare at the stars.

The breeze made my sad excuse for a pony-tail swirl gently around my face. And once I was alone, the concern for Gaara overwhelmed me, I'd never seen him like this. He was scared, Gaara is _never_ scared. I lay down on the roof, on my back, so I could stare at the sky.

For what seemed like ages, everything was silent. Even my thinking had stopped, and then small thoughts crawled back into my head, at first I ignored them, but they were like biting flies, they left itches that I wished I could scratch, but knew I had no hope of.

What was Naruto doing? Had he forgotten all about me, completely? A bit of me was starting to miss him. I was so alone here, all I had was Kankuro. And even thought we occasionally got along, it wasn't in the same way that Naruto had been my friend.

I'd kill to have Sasuke here too, somebody to talk too, even if he didn't always respond. Somebody that could practically read my mind without even trying.

Same with Shika, and even thought Sakura would get on my nerves, I wished she was here too. Even Kakashi or Iruka, despite the fact they're like a billion years older then me… and Kakashi has way too many dirty books.

Or Kimimaro, actually, of all people I'd wish right about now to see Kimimaro most. What did he ever do to me? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. He has never hurt me in any way, ever.

There was no way I could go and visit, not now. I'd have to wait until the Wedding. Ahh, I'm being stupid, I thought to myself. Serious, I have Gaara, isn't that all I thought I'd ever need? And it's all I do need. He is all I need.

A small thought entered my mind, it itched more then the others. _But is it all you want? _

I felt like slapping that thought, how greedy could I be? Is it all I _want_?! What else could I want? I mean, so, I don't get to go outside often. And all my friends probably hate me, actually, well, Naruto and Sakura at least… Kimimaro has the right to hate me, but I have this feeling he doesn't.

But I've got everything I ever wanted here. Everything! For how long have I wanted desperately to just be here with Gaara, like old times? Like when we were in year 10 and still insane and we both still had a bit of that rounded-face look, now I look back at it, and we ate so much horrible food, and played Mario party for hours and hours.

So why wouldn't I be completely absolutely happy here? It's everything I always wanted. I wanted it to be like it was, and now I should be content to just lay back and enjoy the greatness. Plus, in two years, I'll be able to go back to Uni, maybe even in Konoha, and get a job.

I am happy here. It's just like I wanted, I wanted things to be like they were, and they are… just in Suna. And with political careers.

………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Sunday 11/11/18 **

It _rained_ today. Rain. Gaara was gone in the morning, and as soon as I heard the sound of that Rain a-pourin' I forgot everything, the concern, the confusion _and_ the fact I'm not supposed to be outside. Again. Well, technically I really wasn't, I was out the back kitchen door. Which can't really be counted as outside.

I had rushed outside without a second thought, as everyone else strove to escape the huge droplets of water. And just stood there. I'm not a big fan of rain, I mean, I do love it, and it is great when combined with hot-cocoa and tin roofs, but in Suna, when it was such a rare occurrence, really, I _loved_ it.

And so I sat there until I was totally saturated, and laughed. This was a reminder of home, of a better time. When I hated rain because it meant I couldn't go outside.

"Sorano! Gaara will kill you if he see's you outside!" I look up and smiled at Kankuro, who was leaning over the covered balcony three stories above me smoking.

"Kankuro! Get your fat ass down here and enjoy the rain! How often does this happen?"

"Who cares?" he yelled back.

"Absolutely nobody!" I cried back, laughing.

And he grinned too, and disappeared. In the end, he didn't come out to visit, but I stayed out there in the rain until I was so cold my fingers were turning blue, and it was almost night.

When I got back, all Gaara did was hand me a towel, and say "Sora, I swear, I'm about to throw you in jail if you go outside again." Somewhere deep inside, I knew he wasn't joking.

…………………………………………………………………………………………

**Monday 12/11/18 **

Today, Gaara came in happy. He seemed less worried then he had been in the past few days. The fear I had been worried about was slowly subsiding, Gaara seemed to have sorted out his problem.

I took a wild guess. "Is Ataksuki not bullying you anymore?"

"They weren't bullying us." He muttered, making himself some coffee.

I sat on the bench top next to him, swinging my legs. "Of course they were, they were just threatening to kidnap and kill various people." I say in a light voice.

He gives me a sharp look, and I look curiously back. "What-How-….' He trailed off, realizing I didn't know why he was shocked. Shaking his head, he went and sat down.

"They've stopped asking, I haven't heard from them in a while, so it's a relief, but …"

"It's like having a spider in your room, once you know it's there, you'd rather be able to see it." I cut him off, trying to find a way I'd understand what he was saying.

He smiled slightly. "I guess." Then his smile broadened. "You have weird ways of putting things."

I look at him and blink a few times. "Noo… I just have experience in that particular area."

He laughs again, and unable, once again, to stay far away from him when he laughs, I leaned over to kiss him, and for once, he enthusiastically kissed me back. My lips twitched up into a smile, but I didn't break away until the need to breath was so much that I was turning slightly purple.

………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Wednesday 14/11/18 **

Gaara's good mood didn't last long. Today, he stormed in like a crazy man.

"Fucking stupid little bastards…" and he threw off his heavy Kazekage gear, and stormed like a storm cloud into the shower, destroying various vases as he went.

I just answered "NICE TO SEE YOU TOO, LOVE!" and he swore at me, the bastard.

When he came storming out, he looked really angry, still. Usually showers wash his anger all off.

I look concerned. "What happened?" I asked, taking over the coffee-making, as he had already broken the handle off one mug, and I decided I wasn't going to risk another.

He leant on the bench to steady his shaking. "They're fighting dirty," he muttered. "They are just-," he brought his fist down on the bench. I hadn't seen him this angry in a long while.

Hesitantly, I put my hand on his cheek, he stiffened, but then sighed and relaxed, looking down still pre-occupied with whatever happened, I carried his coffee over to the table, and sat him down on the couch, curled up next to him, put his arms around me, and then told him stories.

I told him stories he'd know, ones that happened because we were there. Ones about swimming in eel-infested lakes, and getting lemon juice in our eyes and breaking into houses and how it was actually me who broke the curtain rail in Kankuro's room that time.

Eventually, I felt him relax more and more, and I entwined out fingers together, and kissed the back of his hand.

"I love you." I whispered, I don't even know if he heard me, but we stayed like that for a while. I looked up later, and he was sleeping. I knew I had no hope of carrying him to the bed, so I just moved him so he at least looked comfortable, and turned off the lights and gave him a blanket. Knowing I couldn't sleep in the other room, knowing he was in here, I curled up on a chair next to the sofa.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

**Thursday 15/11/18 **

He was there when I woke up, watching me with questioning eyes.

"I've never fallen asleep before you before." He said quietly, I hoped this was wrong, seeing as then there are quite a few times that he would have known I've gone outside.

I shrug. "You've never been more emotionally unstable then me before." I grin.

"Sorano," oh dear. I knew something serious was happening. He added the 'no' to the 'Sora'. "Will you promise me something. And mean it this time, seriously."

I frown. "It depends."

"I mean it, really, no matter how angry or irrational you get, you need to keep this."

"I can't if you don't tell me," I sniff. "And I'm never irrational."

He ignores the last comment, and continues. "Promise me you won't go outside. Mean it this time."

He seemed so genuinely hanging on my answer, it was like he was asking, almost pleading, that this time I had to mean it. I nod. "I promise. No more outside."

He nods slowly. "Good," and immediately gets up. "Now, I have to go."

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

**Friday 16/11/18 **

So today, as Gaara ordered- well, the only reason I'm complying is that this time he didn't order, actually. He asked. So I'll do it, but only for him, not for my safety. Because I think my safety is pretty much guaranteed wherever I go. Well, life-safety anyway.

Not things like bone-safety or brain-safety or just general physical-safety. I can agree that one day I'm going to drag myself back with my chin because all my limbs will be broken, buuuuuuuut, I still won't be dead.

…………………………………………………………………………………….......

**11:27(pm) **

Gaara came in at about ten, angry and worried as before, to my immense personal concern, he kissed me in the desperate-kind of way. Like he had a while back. It made me scared again.

Before I could voice my concerns, he was already undoing the back of my bra under my shirt, sighing mentally, since his mouth still covered mine, I decided I would just wait until later to ask what has been bothering him so much.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

**Saturday 17/11/18 **

All last night, he didn't sleep, I could tell, he lay curled around me, and I laced my fingers with his, despite the face his breath on my back was causing goosebumps to rise all over my arms, I couldn't focus enough away from my worry to enjoy the bubbles in my stomach.

His lips pressed gently on my back, this I couldn't ignore, and I shivered slightly. Figuring we both knew the other was awake, I turned in his grasp, and kissed him full on the mouth. Pressing myself to him with all the force I had.

When we broke apart, breathing heavily, I couldn't further his worry, I decided I had to do my job of just plain old making him smile, and decided to opt for the distraction method.

I held his face between my hands, and traced around his eyes with my thumb. "Do you remember," I whispered. "When we were sixteen… and we used to stay up all night playing super-old video games?" my voice was small, and just a bit breathless, he was silent, and I touched my forehead to his and rested it there.

I felt him nod slightly.

"And remember, how we went swimming that one time… it was absolutely freezing. And then there were eels." I chuckled slightly. "And we used to sit by the lake a lot. And when it snowed, we'd have snowfights. But you'd always win, because you could reach up and shake tree branches… so I'd just be covered."

It was his turn to chuckle slightly, but there was still that slight… _fear_ in his voice. It worried me so much, I had to swallow hard and control myself so I didn't start to cry.

"And in English… I kept daydreaming. Usually about Vanilla Coke." I closed my eyes, letting the verbal memories just pour out. "And I'd drool all over my page. And it was disgusting. And there was that one time that Sasuke and Naruto caught me singing 'Uptown Girl'… you came over that day too, you know what they were trying to do? They were trying to convince me to come on that stupid holiday. That's why he kept asking me out."

"You have no idea how much I wanted to hit him." Gaara said in a low voice.

"I think I did." I answered, surprised he had spoken.

"No, you didn't." he smiled slightly, I felt the shift in his facial position. "If you had have said yes, I think I would have been forced to tell you right then and there that there is no way I'd let you date him."

I smiled too. "Defensivee."

"I know."

I kiss him gently. "Don't worry, please."

"About what?"

"I don't know."

"Good." He answered, and kissed me back.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**HELLO ALL. I promise, change is about to happen. Promisey promise promise. **

**LOVE. YOU. SO. VERY. VERY. MUCH. :D **

**Love, to-love. **


	26. Catch

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Chapter Twenty-Six: **

_Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future. - __Niels Bohr_

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Sunday 18/11/18**

"Kankuro," I stormed straight down the hall towards him. "KANKURO! YOU STOP RIGHT THERE MISTER!"

And for once, he listened to me. "What, midget-girl?"

"Original," I brush his insult off, and we walk into the lunch-room. "Now, tell me exactly what is happening."

"Huh?"

"You know what I mean," I narrow my eyes at him. "Why has Gaara been so worried lately? Why have you been avoiding me? Why is it suddenly actually necessary for my survival that I stay inside?"

He suddenly, using the same step he'd meant to be foreward, turned around and spun the other way. "I don't know what you're saying, but I don't like your tone of voice."

Anger flared. "Don't lie, bastard! You know _exactly_ what I'm saying, so damn well just _tell_ me!"

"I'm sorry, go find somebody eeeelllssee."

"KANKURO! You come right back here!" I shout as he, to my immense surprise, and in any other situation, I would have laughed, jogged off. I could have caught him, but if I did, it would mean a show-down, and really, I didn't feel like being beaten to a pulp that day.

Moodily, I report to the kitchens, seeing I'm in a horrible mood, they give me some mushrooms to chop up without any complaint about silly traditions.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Monday** **19/11/18 **

Today, I decided it was time I wrote to Kimimaro. In desperation for some kind of distraction from the worry that now plagued me, I crafted a letter. It went like this:

_Kimimaro, _

_Please, please, please don't throw this out just yet. Actually read it. I am so very, very, very, very, VERY sorry. Really, nothing I can ever write will express how sorry I really am. So I won't bother too much, as I will probably just embarrass myself. _

_I think I'm getting married. I know that sounds strange, but it wasn't really my idea, and apparently, it's for my own safety. You've probably known all along who and what Gaara was. Fair enough, I don't really mind. _

_I miss you, that's all I really wrote to say. There are vents here, but none of them are as great as the ones in Sound, I assure you. They are bigger, but not better. And all of them are locked on solid. And they have downwards-vents too, so I fall down. A lot. _

_I miss you more then anything, I really do. So very much. _

_Please think of forgiving me, _

_Love, _

_Sora. _

_P.S. don't worry, I won't actually send this. So you won't get it. Just thought I'd let you know._

_P.P.S sorry about the stain. It's okay, it's just honey. And coffee. But I spilt some and had already ran out of paper. And getting more would mean having a face off with the receptionist, who is angry about me taking her paper. _

And it was true. I'd re-wrote it about seventeen times, and been down there fifteen times now. I think if I turned up again, she'd just give me all the paper she had, and told me never to come back.

Of course, as I said, I didn't do anything with it, but I put it in an envelope and put it in my over-the-shoulder bag, the one that I'm sure Gaara will never touch, because a) it has my diary(s) in it, and b), it's very old and smells funny.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Tuesday 20/11/18 **

Boredy bored bored, when Gaara came in last night, he looked better. So I feel a bit better. Somebody has bolted the vent up. So just in case, y'know, I need to vent anywhere and really piss Gaara off, I found a screwdriver and hid it in the drawer.

Judging by the fact I found another screwdriver already in the drawer next to the bed, it gave me a fairy good idea who was to blame over screwing shut the vent in the first place.

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

**Wednesday 21/11/18 **

I haven't felt sunlight in several weeks now, I think. So I'm going to smother myself in sunblock and go write out on the balcony.

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

**I don't know the time. It may be Thursday, but then again, it may be Saturday. **

About ten minutes after I had put my diary, a pen and three apples in a small bag and stepped out onto the balcony, two men had dropped down from the ceiling. They all wore uniform, but I had a feeling it was underneath the long black patterned cloaks they wore. From the moment I saw them, I knew they were here to take me, or kill me. Either way, I'd be leaving Gaara.

Backing into the building, they advanced, eyes wide, and still with (luckily) the bag over my shoulder. I ran, but in a flash one of them was behind me, breathing heavily, I nodded to myself stood still. Oh dear…. Oh dear, ahh. I tried to stop and think and buy a moment for myself.

"Go on, then." I said, trying to make my voice steady.

"You're not going to scream?" The one behind me said this; I didn't turn to look at him. You bet I was, I thought to myself, my eyes narrowed at them, I wasn't going without a fight. Panic coursed through my veins, as realization _really_ hit, everything honestly started to sink in. I was the target, Gaara didn't give them what they wanted, so it was getting personal. It was me Gaara had been worried about, all along.

And then they ran at me, and I raced to the side of the room, my shoes sliding on the wooden floor, ending in me barely missing the corner of the wall with my face, my running method of escape didn't get me far, and soon the blonde one had his hands on my shoulders, dragging me back, I tried to pry his fingers off, but instead his hands gripped my hands, instinctively, I bit down hard, on both his and my hand. My hard bottom teeth bit into the top of his hand, he swore at me, and flung me backwards into his friend, I hit him hard, as he didn't expect the blonde one to have trouble with me.

He wrapped his arms around me and lifted me off the ground with ease, I could tell he found it funny, his hands were slightly blue, but I disregarded this when I kicked with my bond-free legs, I hit his thighs twice, before I finally hit home. He yelped, and I stumbled to the ground, where I ran a few steps without getting anywhere, before my feet finally hit something they could grip and I shot off towards the door, I was caught in the first few steps, a hand gripped my pony tail.

Crying out in pain, I slid to the floor at the feet of my captor. Tears blurred my vision, but I still hit blindly in his direction, crying now, I could tell they were getting angry, the blonde one pulled on my pony tail, and I rose up with it, trying to ease the weight that was relying on my scalp. I'd never been good with pain.

"That's right, just stay still, yeah? And you'll be fine."

Fear made it hard to breathe, and the blonde one held my pony tail up further, I gasped and tried to get higher, the other one then proceeded to take my hands and bind them, with nothing else to support my weight, there was a terrifying moment when I could have sworn my scalp felt like it was about to tear right off, but as I uttered wordless cries he let me down a bit, easing the weight back onto my legs.

My hands were bound behind my back, and he was now working on my feet, it was only when I felt the hand on my ponytail let go, that I kicked straight up into the chin of the other person, his head flew back and for the first time I saw the face of the attacker. He was blue, had scars on his neck, and a bloody nose. I only saw a flash though, because I was distracted when a foot connected with my ribs, winding me. I was then gagged and blindfolded, with that, I was thrown in the air, probably over somebody's shoulder, and carried away.

But to me, it wasn't over. I wriggled, and eventually managed to turn myself to the side and knee somebody with both tied legs in the neck. I was dropped, and sworn at, my head connected with something, and a sharp pain exploded in the side of my face, around my temple. Cold filled the side of my face, and blackness overtook my vision.

I woke up a bit later, I was in the backseat of a car, I could guess, and there was some kind of caked dry liquid on my face, all over my face. It made it hard to open my eyes, but even when I did I still had the blindfold on. Realizing what I thought had happened, _had_ happened, I lapsed back into sleep.

*******

**Dundundundununnnn. Dun dun dun dunnnnn dun dun dunnnn! (That last bit was to the tune of Indiana Jones, haha) **

**To the lovely Kibafangirl, what's a PM? Post-somethingorather? Ummm, Prime-Minister? Pretty Metaphors? Perfect Mentos? Pre Menstrual? I'm sorry, I fail at new-age technology talk, I really don't fit into this silly 90's generation. The 90's was a horrible time to be conceived, I blame the 90's for a lot, y'know. Especially all this shit music we have lately.**

**Stupid 90's, ARRGHH. I cannot explain my hate for the 90's. **

**Really, I can't. **

**Okay! Past that, I LOVE YOU. THANKS LOTS. **

**Love, to-love. **


	27. Surprise

……………………………………………………………………………………………

**Chapter Twenty-Seven:**

_Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious.__ – __William Feather_

……………………………………………………………………………………………

***

The next time I woke up, it was dark, and I was lying on some kind of long green couch. I felt terrible, my right temple throbbed like nothing else, and when I lifted my hands up to feel what was causing the pain, the unmistakable texture of stitches was discovered. It was a feeling that I've had quite a few times. Also, along with the bumps of stitches, there was a dry crackly feeling, usually allocated to dried cakey blood. Along my face where several other patches that throbbed under my probing fingers, I assumed these were bruises.

Still in a stupor, I blinked hard, and sat up. My head swam for a moment, but when my vision cleared, I surveyed the room through hazy eyes. Nothing made sense yet. There was a long green couch (I was sitting on it), and what seemed to be a toilet cubicle, and a small water dispenser. The ground was concrete, but covered in small patches of carpet that were disconnected and didn't match; I stared at my feet for a long, long time.

There was something I should remember. Something that would explain all of this. What had happened? Gaara was worried… he left… Blonde… Ugly… blue? No… ahh! Bench top. That must be it.

Shit.

My mind raced, everything flowed back all too quickly now, everything I remembered triggered another event that made me think of another event until I eventually decided it was all too much, and shut my brain down.

I figured I was too calm. Way too calm, I should be allowed to freak right about now. But as much as I felt I should be screaming, I wasn't. This must be the calm before the storm, I thought.

And so, bored with all this calm, I stood up and looked around, for the first time I saw behind the green couch, there was a long line of metal bars separating the room in two, and judging by the lack of windows, and abundance of stairs and artificial light, I also guessed I was in some kind of basement.

I took a look in the toilet cubicle, and found it clean, even with a small air-freshener on the top, I stepped out of it and closed the door. It was too quiet.

"Well….," I said to myself, hoping to break the silence. But it only made it worse, my voice echoed. "Okay, Sorano, you've got yourself into quite a mess…," I sighed.

And then, a voice floated down the stairs past the row of iron bars. My head snapped up to stare pointedly at the closed yellow-cream door. Somehow, knowing there was others here made it better. I was more worried that they'd left me here to starve with only a small water dispenser and a toilet cubicle. I was thinking the only form of suicide I'd had was swallowing the air-freshener if they had left me here. Knowing I wasn't alone made me sigh in relief. Death-by-freshener didn't sound great. Only fresh. At least, when I was dead, I wouldn't stink.

The voice was… I don't know. Rounded. How would you describe it? Round. It wasn't pointy. That's all I can really say. I recognized it vaguely as belonging to the blonde one. I scowled, he'd been mean. My hands flew instinctively to my pony tail, where pulling it made my scalp sting slightly.

"Fine, I'll go check on her. She hit her head pretty god damned hard, you know. Out cold. And it wasn't even us! She tripped, yeah."

I frown. I don't remember tripping… but then again, I thought, I don't remember much.

He came down the stairs, grumbling to himself in his round voice. When he saw me standing behind the couch, staring wide eyed at him and clutching my pony-tail protectively, he sighed.

"Not gonna rape you, not gonna molest you, not gonna abuse you unless you abuse us, yeah… umm, oh… and you're boyfriend isn't gonna come running in and play hero. So don't start, yeah?" He said this in a bored, repetitive manner.

I couldn't help myself, I laughed, and then covered my mouth a bit. He narrowed his eyes. "What?"

"Well, it's just you expected me to scream like a hysterical lady and tell you that I'd be avenged."

His eyes narrowed more. "You're not… scared?"

"Well… I _am_. But I don't think I've noticed yet." I say, looking at my arms, and down at my legs, as if checking for some kind of noticeable change to notify me that I am suitably scared out of my wits.

"I think you hit your head too hard."

I grin brightly. "Oh, I _always_ hit my head too hard," I said with a wave of my hand.

"Whatever, as long as you're awake," He grumbled off, and I smiled and waved goodbye.

It was then, I had walked around the side of the couch and found my bag. In it was still a very, very bruised apple, and my diary, which must have still been around my side when I was kidnapped. Which I am very glad I brought. Because otherwise I would be very, very bored right about now. I think I am in shock. Well, I don't really know. I haven't been in shock so bad I can't really tell if it's bad or not. Or maybe I have… several times.

I don't know, but either way, these people don't seem exactly party-animals.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**I think its Saturday. Still… it's the same day, I think. As there are no windows, I have no idea of the time. **

When one of them came down to give me some lunch, I sat on the couch with my legs crossed. I turned around angrily to face the one that was slightly blue in my memory, I gasp when I saw his face.

He _was_ blue. Blue and pointed. His teeth seemed sharpened and his eyes small. I grimace and look confused.

"You know, I think you should get a good pair of wool socks," I tell him, as he passes some food through the door.

"Why?"

"Because I think you're very, _very_ cold," I tell him seriously.

He glares and rolls his eyes. "Whatever."

I ate the bowl of semi-warm ravioli and then once again waited for the shock to come. My temple throbbed a bit. But that was about it.

Impatient, I decided I'd just sleep for a bit. So I curled up on the couch and dozed off.

***

When I woke up, my mouth felt like a desert, so the first thing I did was run to the water cooler and drink about four cups of water, and then turned around, wiping a touch of moisture off my chin.

That's when the door opened, and two people stepped down, they were tall. And both of them seemed relaxed. They stepped down the stairs lazily and onto the concrete covered by large squares of mismatching carpet. It was dark now. Well, I can't really tell. But it seemed dark. I quickly jumped onto the couch and pretended to be asleep.

"…I swear, I think we've caught a mad one. She just told me to go get some wool socks."

"Hm?" _Hm_? That voice sounded familiar. Very familiar. A light switched on, and I blew my cover by jumping up suddenly so I could see for myself who this mystery man was. I hate déjà vu. Really, I do. It pisses me off, especially when you can't remember where it's from.

I saw _me_, really. I saw an identical facial expression mirrored on another face. One that I hadn't seen in five years. I gulped, and opened my mouth, but it seemed my tongue had become a desert again. Already.

Suddenly, the mirror disappeared, and replaced was a face as cold as stone. I snapped my mouth shut. Behind the mask there was a hint of a '_please, shut the hell up'_ plea.

So I did. But only because I had this weird feeling that really, even if I had wanted to say something, it wouldn't have been audible anyway.

The blue pointy one suddenly raised his eyebrows. "Ohhh… well, then now you choose to be god damned shocked." He swore a bit under his breath. "I told you the girl was crazy."

Itachi's eyes seemed to bore into mine. I couldn't look away, until he realized the blue pointy one had said something directly to him. He muttered something and shrugged lazily.

The blue pointy one scowled. "You've been moody for ages now." He grumbled, and then faced me. "Oh well, just checking you're still alive."

And then they disappeared. As they went, Itachi threw me one look over his shoulder, a slight grin on his face. I knew he'd be back down as soon as he got rid of the blue pointy one. Yesss. Well, the blue pointy one and I disagreed. I think he was the one that I kicked in the balls. But I don't really remember much.

As soon as door shut, and the slim amount of natural moonlight was completely cut off, I stood completely still.

And then the shock came.

I had to run to the toilet cubicle so I could throw up violently. All the contents of the three cup of teas I'd had previous to capture, and the luke-warm ravioli. Nothing was kept down, for some amount of time after my stomach was empty, I was still retching.

After that, I lay on the floor next to the toilet, breathing heavily. Here there was no pathetic attempt at carpet, only concrete. It felt cool on my skin, especially now I was sweating. My mouth tasted horrible, and once I was sure I could stand properly, I went and washed my mouth out with water.

Once I felt somewhat up to scratch, and also somewhat better, knowing the worst was over, I stood back up and tried to sit back on the couch. It seemed like forever until the door opened silently again. Every small noise made me jump, until eventually I was so close to falling asleep then and there that when the door did open, it came as a shock.

I heard the click of a lock coming off, and that woke me up, I leapt off the couch, fell to the ground as my legs weren't as ready to support myself as my head was, and then sprung up again to face Uchiha Itachi.

"Itachi," I said, and inclined my head gently.

The corner of his mouth twitched upwards. "Sorano."

"Long time, no see," I said calmly again.

"Same to you."

"How's it been, then?" I ask, and sit back on the arm of the green couch. Itachi leant on the bars of my cell.

"I'm not really sure just yet…" he grinned slightly. "Fancy seeing you here."

"You too… so, the story so far being you've joined an illegal group operating under a cover story of some kind of educational base?"

"Yes, that's about it."

I almost laughed. It seemed that Sasuke's running off to Sound was absolutely completely useless, then. Since Sound obviously didn't harbor any illegal activities groups. "I should have guessed," I said, sighing in mock disappointment. "Really, off all people, of course who goes off after murdering they're family to try and blackmail the Kazekage into giving them land?"

He doesn't even wince when I mention his dead family. So it was true, then. "Well," he answered. "I didn't expect you to be here either."

"You didn't think I'd make it this far?" I asked innocently.

He smiled slightly, again. "No… not at all."

"You thought I'd settle down in Konoha and then marry Lee or somebody?"

"Yeah… that was my guess."

"I see I've made a good impression, then." I grin.

There was a slight pause. I knew instantly what the question was. He wouldn't ask it though, not outright. I decided to cut a corner.

"Sasuke and Naruto are gay, right now, I have absolutely no idea what they are doing, and I don't _want_ to know, now I think about it, but last thing I heard they went back to Konoha," I tell him. "Oh… and he probably will rip your arms off if he sees you again." I say sweetly.

He looks a little thankful that I said it, but then decided to be a bitch and look confused. "What? I don't know what you're talking about."

I scowl at him. "You damn well do!"

There was another small silence, but it was my question this time. I wanted to know what _he'd_ been doing.

"Came here, really." He said.

"What? You make absolutely no sense." I said, returning the favor of making me sound like a crazy person. Except with him, not me.

"You've changed a bit," He said, frowning slightly.

I smile at him. "I know."

"How?" he asked. He was having some amount of trouble, now. It was strange. I bet he hadn't seen anybody from his Konoha days in a long, long time. I could see this internal battle raging. He was trying to keep his face as calm and emotionless as it was with everyone else, but really he had so many questions. He wanted to know everything, and I was going to make him ask.

"You didn't think I'd grow out of my stutter?" I ask, eyes wide in mock-disbelief.

"Sad that's the only thing that's grown…," he muttered, looking down on me.

I stood, to hope to even out the difference, but only just reached his shoulder, scowling, I sat back down quickly. He seemed to resist a smile.

"My height has been a good thing. It's got me in, _and_ out of some very small situations." I tell him seriously.

"Like what?" he asked casually.

"Vents…. Annnnd…. Cupboards. And under beds." I say seriously. "Being small is very useful. You tall people are missing out."  
"I can imagine," he muttered.

"Noooooo, you can't."

"You're right."

"I knew I was."

There was a pause, and I saw the 'damn, I'll have to ask, won't I?' look flash across his face for less then an instant. I grinned.

"How is-," I wasn't going to make him suffer, I cut him off.

"Sasuke?" I offer. "Well, He was an idiot, ran off to Sound, was probably raped by Orochimaru-Sensei….but we don't know for sure, since he doesn't really talk about it much… Then I found him, then I nearly broke his nose… then he finally saw sense after a while and got back together with Naruto. But then Naruto was a freaking idiot, and got conned into staying at Sound, but then I was a freaking idiot, and got conned into staying at Sound by Naruto. But then I ran away."

"Interesting…," he said, obviously not really listening.

"It was," I assured him. "And I met Kimimaro there, and I feel bad for leaving him. But there are also people I don't miss… like the Fat-Man with all his minor earthquaking everywhere, and Kabuto, even though he did deal with most of my injuries. And he was better then the nurses at Suna."

There was a flicker of genuine interest then. "Kabuto?" He asked.

"You know him? Annoying, glasses, has a habit of asking awkward questions when you're half naked in a pool at like eleven o'clock at night," I scowl at the memory.

"I've heard of him…," he said, thinking again, and then he shook his head and faced me.

"Well, I better go, somebody will be coming down to check on you soon." He said.

"Wait!" I say angrily. "You're going to leave me here? What?"

He looks at me again, smirking slightly. "What? You thought I was your ticket to freedom?" he stepped out of the cage, and I heard the click of a lock.

"Well, no. but I'd at least hoped for some kind of 'yeah, you'll be alive at the end of this' statement."

"Well, you will be alive at the end of this… you may just need a wheelchair… especially with Kisame around." He frowned, then threw me another smirk. "Goodnight, Sorano." And he headed up the stairs.

"Itachi you bastard!" I hiss into the darkness. But I heard the door close and I was alone. Alone and angry. I threw myself onto the couch, confused.

What to do… what to doo… and now I am here. Bored to bits, unable to sleep and worried out of my skin.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Longer update this time! Because I love theee! **

**Haha, I had soooo many people telling me what a PM is. I feel so sad and shit with technology, I think I'm the only one who still bothers to use correct grammar and punctuation when texting. EVEN MY MOTHER USES TXT TALK. Ready? This is an example. **

**Me: hey, when are you picking me up from school? **

**Mother: l8er. U wanna go in2 town 1****st****? **

**Me: uhh, nah, I'm right. Let's just go home. **

**Mother: K. c u l8er. **

**Yeah. That's about it. **

**And I meant the 90's are a weird time, really, I think the 80's were to blame for the 90's. not as bad as the 90's, true, but they convinced the 90's it's okay to be 'different' and then the 90's went crazy.**

**And look where we are now. Silly 90's. **

**Anyway, I LOVE YOU. SO VERY. VERY. VERY VERY. MUCH. **

**Love, to-love. **


	28. No, It Wasn't

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Chapter Twenty-Eight: **

_The first and great commandment is: Don't let them scare you.__ - __Elmer Davis_

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Somebody told me it's only Thursday this morning. **

The blue pointy one came down to give me breakfast. I asked if I could have a shower, politely too!

"No way, blondie."

"I'm Sorano, but you can call me Sora if you want." I tell him brightly. "Sorano reminds me too much of my mother, you see. And it's long and way too formal."

The blue pointed one just scowled. "Eat your food and shut up." he grumbled, and trudged back upstairs. I scowled at him as he went, and then picked up the plate he'd shoved into the cage. It was some kind of fried-egg sandwich. What kind of breakfast is this? Oh well, at least it's warm.

I think the only really terrifying part of this, is knowing it's Thursday morning (I think it's morning…) and that Gaara would well and truly know I was gone by now. I'd hate to be the person who had to tell him they hadn't seen me since yesterday.

Shit, I'd just hate to be anyone in Gaara's general vicinity right about now.

It made me angry to know they were hurting Gaara, as soon as I got myself out of here, I'd tell him that I really didn't mean to be kidnapped. And that I'm perfectly okay. And not pregnant or anything disgusting like that.

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

**Sometime later. **

The Blonde one came to give me lunch, I thanked him brightly, and asked where he was going on his way out.

"Upstairs." He told me, eyeing me suspiciously.

"Is upstairs nice?" I ask sociably. I was so desperate for something to do, even the blonde one who'd been responsible for dropping me on a table-corner was a god-send.

"Not particularly, umm…" he looked at me shiftily.

"Sit doownn," I say happily, motioning for the seat next to me. "Tell me all about it."

"No, yeah?" he said simply, and turned.

I sat and tried to understand that response for a long while, until I just shouted. "WAS THAT A, NO, YEAH? OR A NO… WAIT YEAH! NO, YEAH!?"

I hoped they heard me.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Also, sometime later. **

It wasn't Itachi, the blonde one, or the blue pointy one who gave me dinner. At first sight, I had thought it was Gaara. With his pale skin and red hair, they were slightly similar. But then realized Gaara's hair was lighter. And he had that tattoo. And this person was quite scary. Well, _more_ scary.

"I guess it's night, what's for dinner today?" I said happily, once I was sure Gaara hadn't gone all mass-murderer on the upstairs and found me.

He didn't answer, I scowl. "Talkative, you are. At least the blonde one answered my questions."

He gave me another look, and then turned back around. With my dinner. I look shocked.

"HEY! This is abuse! I was just being nice! It was a joke! A joke! Joke between friends, ay? Yeah! COZ WE'RE FRIENDS! AND FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS STARVE," I had gotten louder as he had gotten further away. My stomach grumbled angrily, and I scowled again as I sat back down on the green couch.

"Stupid red-haired bastards," I grumbled.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**I assume everybody is asleep now. Which must mean it's approximately 2 in the morning or so, I think. Which must mean it's Friday. **

"Itachi!" I say happily, and spring up from the couch to turn and face the moody Uchiha.

"Sorano," He answered.

"You have no idea how bored I was today, I tried to strike up a conversation with the blonde one, but he just said confusing things and then left. But at least he gave me my food! The other one didn't," I pouted.

I heard the lock on the cage click and he came in, I patted the spot on the other side of the green couch, but as before, he just leant back on the cage bars. I sigh. "Whatever."

"Tell me more about people." He said, well, it was more of just a plain ol' statement then a request.

"Gladly! Anything! It's so boring down here, you have no idea. I've kind of got this addiction with talking now, I guess, maybe it's because I hardly talked for about seven years straight."

He shrugged slightly. "Of course…"

"Well, Sasuke is taller now. Wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy taller. He used to be my height," I pout. "And now he's practically a building. And he has given up on the no-haircuts rule and has his hair short, which is good if you ask me. And he still doesn't really realize that he has to stop being him in public because I think there are at least fourteen girls in a mental asylum because of him," I paused. "And I'm not one of them… yet, which is good, but mainly because I know where his interests lay. I don't think he is gay though… I just think he and Naruto really just suit each other _too_ well for best friends.

"And Naruto…" I trail off for a bit. "Well, I'm not really talking to him at the moment. Not like I'm talking to anybody at the moment, well, besides you. Seeing as nobody will talk to _me_. But you get my meaning, he was a horrible friend and didn't tell me that Gaara wrote to me," I say almost sadly. "So I ran away. Kimimaro probably won't forgive me, I haven't heard from him, I just hope he's not sick again."

Itachi's face held an expression for a flickering moment that I couldn't understand, as soon as I said the word 'Kimimaro' it looked like he knew something I didn't. I decided I'd rather not know if Kimimaro was involved in some kind of illegal organization.

"But Sakura and Shika got married! And I'm engaged. Which makes me sound middle-aged. And I'm not really truly excited for the marriage, since having somebody else's last name doesn't really make much of a difference."

"Don't you care about marriage?" he asked.

"Well, either way I'd be staying with Gaara. But his publicist seemed to think that it would help in some way. But obviously it didn't, seeing as I'm here," I motioned to the room around me.

"You don't seem worried…," he said slowly, he seemed a touch confused. "About being here?"

"Well, once I decided none of you were going to rape me or beat me… that blue pointy one looks shifty, so I don't trust him… but I just won't let him near me. Or in my cage."

And for the first time, Itachi laughed, I was shocked. But then I laughed too. He looked shocked, but then he stopped. I was disappointed. "I haven't laughed in a long time." He said slowly, and then looked up at me and the corners of his mouth twitched upwards.

"So who is the blue pointy one?" I ask.

"Kisame," he answered.

"Oh…. Well, he's still blue and pointy to me. So he shall be the blue and pointy one. What about the blonde one?"

"Deidera."

"He can be him. He isn't nearly as interesting as the blue pointy one."

"He hates me, I think it was stupid to put all of us on Hostage Duty together." He shook his head. "But none of us ever say no to Hostage Duty."

"Why? Will they beat you up if you do?"

He smiled slightly again. "No, it's just a bludge. And you get paid quite a bit for just sitting around and doing nothing. It's a good break, but by the end of it one of the people are usually dead or seriously wounded."

"You get on each others nerves?" I asked.

He just nodded.

"What can I do to get the others to talk to me? I'll go insane otherwise, serious, I will."

"I don't know…," he paused, then grinned. "Not like I talk to them much. But I'd say just say how magical exploding things are to Deidara and then talk… I don't know, marine creatures with Kisame?" he shrugged.

I laughed, and for a fleeting moment he seemed to be pleased. I grinned at this, and he slipped back into emotionlessness.

"You've changed too, Itachi," I say, almost sadly. "Well, if you hadn't, I'd've called you insane."

"How so?" He seemed interested now. He was always interested, well, in things he couldn't guess or know for sure. I liked that- that I could be the one thing he couldn't know the every move of. That he had to ask. He knew from the smug look on my face that I was enjoying his pain. He scowled at my slightly. I grinned back.

"Well…," I began. "You're possibly more full of yourself then before. So impossibly full of yourself you feel you don't have to ask any questions at all because you already know the answers. _And_ You've grown… slightly. Something happened…," I was studying his expression. The silent troubled type- I specialized in the silent troubled type. His emotionless features were like a book. Well, not really. Well, not at all. But I was taking a guess none-the-less. "Taking out your family hurt you more then Sasuke thinks, didn't it?"

He was silent, eyes narrowing.

"Why is he alive, why are they all dead?" my questions seemed to go further, curiosity burned inside me. "Please… please tell me it wasn't my fault." I remember back to that fateful adventure at Sasuke's holiday house. "I swear, if it was me, I will swallow that air-freshener in the bathroom- well, toilet cubicle- _whole_. And damnit, if that doesn't kill me nothing will!"

His eyes narrowed more, but in a more confused way. "Huh?"

"You… That… time… y'know?" I say helplessly, and then laughed at how sad and confused I sounded, I grinned playfully at him. "I'm quite the genius with words, as you can tell."

Itachi's eyes seemed to laugh for him, but the rest of his face stayed cold. I grinned widely at him, letting him know I understood. We seemed to have so many silent conversations. Just knowing the other would understand.

"I was sixteen, barely. And you were turning nineteen. And you desperately wanted to know why the hell your brother was spending more time with his girlfriend's cousin then his actual _girlfriend_." I smiled, but not at him, into the distance. Before my eyes I could see us, Naruto all round-faced and excitable. Sasuke all 'I'm-to-cool-for-this, so here's a _really_ small bikini, Sorano' and me, round-faced too, with blonde hair a shade darker then it was now, and a stutter that really got in the way of things. "And you came and woke me up… but I was already awake. I made up a lame excuse about Sasuke snoring…," my voice trailed off, as the memory came flashing back.

_I grimace. "I know too many secrets for my own good, I'll trade with you any day." _

_"I'm sure many people would on first sight." _

_"On second too." I insist. "Being me isn't that great." _

_"Why?" _

_Why? It was a very good question, to many other statements as well, why was I telling him this? It was getting too deep and I couldn't stop. _

_I pause. "Because it's just me." _

_"Hm?" _

_"Me, nobody else. Just me." _

_"You live alone?" _

_"I did everything alone, until just recently." _

_"Recently? Really?" _

_"Not really, really…" _

_"I don't see the problem in being alone, I'm sure I'd like it without my parents." _

_"As if. Nobody is that strong." _

_"You're saying you are?" _

_"I didn't get out unscathed." _

_"I'm sure I could." _

_"I doubt it." _

_"Well, isn't there only one way to prove it?" _

_"What? Murdering your family? Pfft, yeah, great." I say sarcastically. _

_"Sure I could do that too." _

_I roll my eyes. up yourself much! "Yep, just keep on thinking that. Nobody would kill just to test themselves." _

_There was silence, but not an awkward one, a thinking one. It scared me. His thinking scared me. Especially over the matter of murder. He seemed to be the only person I knew who I could think of committing murder, I mean, I think so…_

_Sasuke wouldn't. well, maybe, but it was HIGHLY unlikely. Naruto, no, just no. he is too compassionate about life, he thinks nobody has the right to lose it, no matter what the excuse. _

I recited this conversation to him, just mainly in dialogue and without my personal running commentary.

"You think....," he trailed off, and then suppressed a smirk. "You think that I killed

The Uchiha Clan because you put the idea in my head?" he failed at suppressing, and smirked widely.

I breathed an inner sigh of relief. It wasn't me. Curiosity burned again. "So… I

wasn't me? At all?"

He laughed bitterly. "No, it wasn't."

My immediate instinct was to study his features very closely and try and decipher

what the real reason was, if it wasn't some kind of sick desire to prove something.

Realization flickered on my face, and Itachi recoiled slightly. I saw him edging towards the door.

"It wasn't-," I began, but he was already outside the bars, I stood and leapt over the back of the couch to grip the bars. "Itachi! You bastard!" I yell, the same as the night before.

He turned and smirked at me, but it concealed a worry and concern that maybe he'd shown too much, as he turned, his smirk faded into a grimace. My hands slid from the bars and I sighed, and returned to lie on the couch. He wouldn't be back until tomorrow night, I could tell.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Heyhey everyone! Sorry for the wait! **

**Hahhaha, Dragonluvr1993 made me laugh, of course I'm just ill-informed with technology. My friend just bought a Hiptop, and it took me a full ten minutes to find the scrolly thing. And then it buzzed because she was on msn and I nearly threw it away. **

**And to Misa, I ALWAYS READ MY REVEIWS. ALWAYS. ALWAYSALWAYS. It's just I read them, and then two days later I update. So I never remember what they said. Because I have the memory of a goldfish, I really do.**

**Anyway! I LOVE YOU SO VERY VERY MUCH IT'S INSANE. :D **

**LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE(love), to-love-is-toooooooooo-not-lie-because-i-LOVE-you. (yes, YOU. Right there. ****YOU****.) **


	29. Shower

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Chapter Twenty-Nine (shit, already? D: ): **

_I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me! – Dr. Seuss_

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Possibly Saturday. I don't know, since all light here is artificial, I'm all out of sync with my sleeping probably. **

Kisame came down to give me breakfast, I smiled brightly at him.

"Morning, I think," I say, and grin.

He shakes his head. "You're a weird girl. One of the weirdest."

"Thankyou!"

"No problem." He passed me the food.

I smiled. "Coco pops! Ahh, Akatsuki, I see why you guys are geniuses."

He frowned. "How do you know? We never said…" he trailed off and scowled.

"I was in the sky," I said simply. "And when in the sky, I overhear certain things." I tap my nose in a secret-like-fashion.

He shakes his head. "You're a weird girl."

"Thankyou!" I call to him as he disappears up the stairs. I dig into my Coco Pops before they go mushy.

Now it is midday. I think, well, in my little twisted not-really-real reality, it is. So I'm calling it midday anyway. I'm waiting for my food. I'm hungry again. These little food trips are becoming my highlight of the day. Well, besides seeing Itachi.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Midday (remember? Because it ****IS****)**

I really shouldn't be glad to see Itachi, I really shouldn't. If Sasuke hears of this, I'm absolutely screwed. Like, really. He'd rip my legs off.

Itachi doesn't seem to hate Sasuke, which I find weird. Sasuke always portrayed him as the evil spiteful brother who stole his hopes and dreams and stuck them in a blender. But then again, Sasuke is the epitome of an angsty teen, so who knows what's real and what's not.

And here I am doubting Sasuke, after two conversations with his brother. But he's so different now! I mean, sure, he's up himself, but god shoot me down if Sasuke _isn't_! He seems to want to talk to me for some other reason besides getting information about Sasuke. Because maybe I'm like this little window into a regular, law-abiding world, where dangerously insignificant people try to figure out which bus they should take in the morning, and when they accidentally get the wrong one, they get this huge sense of adventure and thrill. Because as much as it's sad, that's the world I belong too.

I just find it weird that Itachi hasn't accidentally killed me. God knows what I could tell Kisame about him. About how a tiny socially inept girl had conned him out of looking in a room. And then gotten into loads of trouble for it.

Oh… I hear food! Well, food coming.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Lunch (seeing as I got lunch now) **

The red-haired one brought me lunch, I was careful this time not to say anything, and he gave me the food silently, and then turned. I stuck my tongue out at him as he left, and chewed extra hard on my pie. Hoping he'd hear me.

Stupid red bastards. I even prefer the blue pointy one to him. Errg.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Dinner (why must all my entries be about my meals? BECAUSE THEY ARE THE BRIGHTEST PART OF MY FREAKING DAY, THAT'S WHY!) **

Deidara brought me food this time. I decided it was about time to strike up a bit of friendly conversation.

"Wow, this food, how artistically it's arranged!" I exclaim, remembering Itachi's advice regarding conversations with Deidara.

He seemed to glow a bit under his emotionless face. "Well, when you're on hostage duty you have a lot of spare time, yeah."

I smile brightly at him. "I love art, I took it in Uni, Just a pity I'll have to eat this food. The best art never lasts forever…" I say, trailing off in fake-remorse. I just hope he won't notice the face I'm a terrible actor.

For a crazy moment, he grins excitedly. Haha! One to Sora, I think that is. "Yeah! Art is a fleeting moment! Yeah?"

I nod enthusiastically. "It is, the best stuff is. It wouldn't be so beautiful if it lasted forever."

And then we had a long detailed conversation, that really wasn't that interesting. It was okay, but his enthusiasm for things that exploded seemed a touch creepy. When I actually got into a real conversation and talked about my actual views, it was okay. Eventually, he looked at his watched and paled.

"I've been down here for an hour an a half, yeah…." He trailed off, and then hurried up the stairs quickly. I called a quick goodbye to him, and then sat down to eat my now cold food.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

**Later sometime. **

I waited for Itachi impatiently, excited to tell him about my breakthrough with Deidara. Even if he likes things that explode way too much.

Eventually, after a long time, I heard the door open and soft footsteps coming down the stairs. I stood up off the couch and grinned excitedly.

"Itachi!" I greeted happily. He turned on one of the lights on my side of the cage, and unlocked it. I opened the door to swing inside for him and mock-bowed.

"Sorano," He smiled slightly.

"Y'know, just as I was really seriously considering swallowing that air-freshener, here you come along to brighten up my day/night." I grin.

"I keep forgetting to remove that before you actually do."

"I'd've thought you guys wouldn't put anything in here that could be used for suicide." I say, sighing in mock-exasperation.

He grins slightly. "We did, but nobody is as inventive as you."

"That's good to know," I say and smile at him, and as usual, I pat the spot on the couch next to me, and as usual, he just leans back on the bars of my cage. Smirking.

"So what information are you here for today?" I ask, leaning back to rest against the side of the couch, and straightening my legs out. "Who should I rat on this time?"

"I was thinking I'd like to hear more about _you_."

"Me?" I asked, eyes wide in half-mock-half-real disbelief. "Not your angsty-teen brother, or his blonde boyfriend?"

"No, I've heard enough about them." He said.

"Well… me, me…. Hmm. Well, after you left to go to Akatsuki for a 'good education' And then… Well, I continued working at the shop, and then Sasuke got the offer from that snake-rapist to go join his cult, and we never thought he'd accept, but then he did. Urgh! And I was the only one who guessed! And I couldn't bring myself to tell Naruto. So I didn't. He still doesn't know that I let Sasuke leave." I grimace. "And from then on it was just hard study," I groan. "It was horrible. And especially since Gaara left too…," I trailed off.

"Gaara left in highschool?" Itachi frowned. He didn't seem to know this piece of information.

I went a little red. "Yeah, off to Suna, I think."

"I always thought you two would have hooked up there…"

"I didn't notice…" I said, trailing off guiltily.

He raised an eyebrow. "The whole _world_ noticed, Sorano." Why must he always at the 'no' to the 'sora'?

"I know, but I'm a dumb blonde, yeah?"

"You sound like Deidara."

"Shit…" I mutter.

And then he laughs.

I smiled slightly, happy to hear a non-bitter laugh, and then he immediately stopped showing emotion. His eyes lost the slight light that had been growing since he stepped in the cage door. I knew he was about to step out. And the flood of disappointment that rushed through me at this frightened me, the feeling was too intense. Way too intense. For the wrong reasons.

Itachi, smirked slightly. Another one of our silent conversations took place, I smiled apologetically, and he nodded, and let himself out of the cage, made his way up the stairs, and paused, to turn and flash a slight smile, and then disappeared behind the door.

I nearly screamed with anger at myself. Nooooooo. Noo, no, no, no, no. It was wrong. Sasuke would kill me. Gaara would kill him. I'd just jump off a cliff so I wouldn't have to face the world again.

AHHHH. I swear, that air-freshener is looking really appealing right about now.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**I'll just call this Day Four. It seems longer then that, I hit my temple today, and now I have a headache. Arrhhh. I hate stitches. **

I haven't showered in four freaking days. I think I'll explode if I don't have one.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**later. **

The blue pointy one came down, and I'd by then, made a plan. I'd get my shower.

"Okay, Kisame…"

"How do you know my name?"

"…I know many things. But that isn't the point. You see this air-freshener, I'm about to swallow it unless I get to take a shower in the next three minutes." I tell him seriously, waving the air-freshener in what I hoped was a threatening manner.

"But that thing is huge… and lilac scented." He said, somewhat shocked at my proposal.

"I think the aim of hostage duty is to keep the hostage alive? Yes?" I scowl at him and wave the air-freshener in the air. Mmmm. Lilac. "Well, I'd gimme that shower if you want me to live."

He glared. "Fine." And with that he marched in and opened the door, and grabbed my wrist. "But if you try anything funny, you won't have hands to swallow that air-freshener with."

I gave him a confused look, but decided I just wanted a shower, and my hands could be sacrificed if necessary. Even if I don't really need hands to swallow an air-freshener. But I didn't point this out. "Fine, fine," I turned for a moment, trying to get the diary before I went, I didn't trust it here alone. "Just wait a sec- OWWW!" He'd got the end of my pony-tail, a place that was still sore from the beating it'd received jut a few days back, I grimace.

"No waiting, just freaking get up and shower."

"OWWW! OWW, OWW!" I felt tears prick my eyes again, and I nearly scream in frustration. "FAR OUT LET GO OF MY FUCKING PONY-TAIL!" I yell at the top of my voice, I run backwards up the stairs as fast as I can. We were out the door, and I saw Itachi in a small blue room as we went past. I realized I still had the air-freshener in my hands. "I SWEAR I'LL SHOVE THIS STUPID AIR-FRESHENER IN YOUR GILLS IF YOU DON'T, SHARK BOY." I heard a chuckle from the blue room.

He tugged at my hair for that comment, and in return I threw the air-freshener backwards into the blue. (hahahahah! Even I find that funny in my time of pain. I am a comedian!) Where it _hit_ the blue. I hear him swear, and then he practically throws me into the bathroom.

I sit and hold the back of my hair for a while, grimacing. It makes me regret having long hair. But as soon as I got sight of the shower, I forgot the pain and savored the smell of hot running water. I also found a razor, I figured it was Bubbles's because it was blue, and so I shaved my legs. I really do not care if he finds blonde hair in it.

I eventually finished my shower, got dressed again, put my hair in a bun so he couldn't get it as easily, the tight pull of the hairband made me wince. I'm surprised my scalp hasn't come off by now.

I stepped out of the shower, and opened the door, waiting to be assailed by a stupid GillBoy waiting to pull my scalp off. GillBoy didn't show, so I decided I'd just go back to my cage myself, scowling at being forgotten so easily, I walked down the hall, as I neared the blue room, I looked in. Itachi was still there, reading.

I came in and sat down, he looked up and then looked back again. "I don't think Kisame likes it when you threaten to shove things in his gills." He says, I look down, so I can see his face under his hair, and see that he is restraining from laughing.

At this, I laugh out loud. "Where did I hit him with the air-freshener?"

"Nose."

"Ohhh."

"I think you broke it."

And I laugh harder. "Really? Ah…. Serves GillBoy right," I say firmly, and wipe away tears from laughter this time.

I sat cross-legged on the couch with Itachi for a long while, enjoying being upstairs, seeing a window after finally being able to think of something other then Itachi's laughing, I rant to it.

"You escape, and you're scalp will come off. You're arms too, probably, knowing Kisame." Itachi said idly.

I frown at him. "I'm not escaping, I just haven't seen daylight in days."

"Fair enough."

I sit in the warm rays of sunlight cast through the window for a long while, until Kisame eventually walks by and spots me there. I was hauled back, with no defense from Itachi, to my cage by my ponytail.

Owwwww. Owwy, owww, owww. I don't even have my air-freshener for suicide possibilities. It's now lodged somewhere in GillBoys Gills.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Happyhappy joy joy. Joy for all. **

**Guess what? It's my birthday on Saturday! :D so, you all owe me extra-long reviews, because it's my birthday on the 13****th****. :D **

**Haha, I do love you all. I think most of you are insane. Really, some of you actually need help. But in a good, loveably, potentially harmful way. **

**I LOVE YOU. LOTS AND LOTS. **

**Lovelovelove, to-love. **

**p.s. this would actually have to be my favorite quote so far, Dr. Suess is my hero. As well as Douglas Adams. **


	30. Realization

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Chapter Thirty: **

_The body says what words cannot.__ - __Martha Graham_

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Day Five. I think it's Sunday… **

When Itachi came down yesterday, he was nice enough to bring me some ice. I shoved it on my head with a sigh. "My poor head. What did it do to deserve this?" I say, sighing.

"Encouraged you to shove an air-freshener in Kisame's nose?"

"It may help his fish-breath," I say hopefully. "Maybe he'll thank me."

"He's not allowed to bring you food anymore, because we're too worried he may accidentally slip and cut your legs off."

I laugh. "Wow, I'm popular."

He smiles slightly. And we talked for a longer time then usual, about pointless things, and they were really so pointless, that he didn't run away. I was mainly talking, about memories and happy experiences. I laughed so much I cried when I remembered things, and he'd just watch with a look of superior amusement on his face, I didn't mind really, though.

Eventually, he told me he had to go, as it'd be daylight soon. I then realized how tired I really was, and as soon as he left, I fell straight asleep.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Sometime Later.**

Owwww. My head hurts way more now. Arghhh! I HATE FISHFACE. I wish he'd go drown somewhere.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Sometime later, again. **

"Deidara!" I say happily when I recognize the sound of his voice when he says hello. "What kind of artistic genius have you got for me today?"

He'd smiled slightly, and told me it was fish.

"Please tell me you cooked up GillBoy." I say hopefully.

And then he'd laughed. "No, no, yeah."

I wish he wouldn't talk like that. I give him a confused look. "So that's a yes?"

"No."

"Ohhh. Damnit, I was hoping I'd broken more then just his nose with that air-freshener."

He'd laughed again, I'd laughed too this time. I didn't mind Deidara, except when he went a little crazy with the art talks. And when he contradicted himself with his 'no's and 'yeah's.

So I'd eaten a few fishfingers, and we'd sat and talked for a bit.

"So how is ol' Fishface goin'?" I ask.

"He's recovering."

"I hope his nose is hideous when it sets again."

"Don't we all, yeah?" he paused. "I don't know if you really broke it, but there sure was a lot of blood."

"Good," I mutter. "I hate it when he tugs my ponytail though. It hurts." I complain, and then brighten a bit. "Hey, think you could get me some scissors?"

He looks suspicious. "Why?"

"So I can cut my hair."

"Oh…," he seemed to consider this. "Wait here."

I'd grinned happily. "THANKS DEI!" I'd called as he trudged up the stairs.

When he returned with some scissors, I'd thanked him, and began trying to find a length with my hands at which to start cutting. My hair was now past my boobs in length. It really hadn't been cut for two years. Deidara watched a little too hard as I took it out of its pony tail and shook it.

"Okay, if I accidentally take my ear off, don't be too shocked, really. It was bound to happen someday anyway."

He looked at me strangely. "What? Cutting your own ear off, umm…"

I nod. "Trust me on this, I get myself into really stupid situations. Look at me here." I said, motioning to my face and my scalp and the bruises on my body. "But I've had worse, I really have… once I got myself stuck in a vent, but then I had to turn around, but then I couldn't, so I twisted something really hard and ended up ripping a nerve! I CAN STILL FEEL IT! If I press here…" I find the spot on my leg. "I can feel it… HERE!"

He didn't seem to find it as amazingly wrong as I did. Nobody seemed to be so shocked when I told them that. Only I ever was, sighing, I went back to trying to cut my hair, Dei's mouth twitched upwards. I grinned back.

"Here goes nothing…" I mutter, and close me eyes (not a good idea, but I did anyway) and closed the scissors. A huge hunk of sunbleached hair fell to he ground, I gasped. "Wow, that's a lot."

He laughs, I scowl and look up. "What?" I snap.

"The look on you're face, yeah." He says.

And so I went back to concentrating on cutting straight. Eventually, a voice called from upstairs, asking why Deidara had been so long, he went a little pale, and then the emotionless mask slipped back on, he trudged upstairs with no goodbye.

My hair was just below my ears in length, and I think I cut a little too short at the back, there were no layers in it, since I decided I'd risked my ears enough for one day. I then realized Dei had left the scissors down here. Deciding I'd have some use for them, I shoved them in my bag.

I cleaned up the hair, and shook myself off. It was so _short_. It felt strange, I touched the back of my neck gingerly. Wow… it _was_ short. I looked down at the hair on the ground again. It was lighter then I'd expected, I must have been spending more time in the sun (not recently, really, but before this whole abduction thing) because it was about 3 shades lighter then I remember. I also remembered it's been a long time since I looked in a mirror without wet hair from morning showers.

So, once again, once I was clean, I sat down to eat my (now cold… again) food.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Lunch **

I hate that red-haired one. I really do, I spoke to him, so he took away my lunch again. I swore at him all the way up the stairs. He'd already taken away my food, what could be worse?

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Dinner **

Itachi brought dinner, to my surprise.

"Kisame refuses to feed you, unless he's allowed to cut a limb off for every bite you take, Deidara's turn is done, Sasori hates you because you talk too much and don't act like a hostage should," he grinned slightly. "So that leaves me."

"What did I ever do to Sasori?" I asked angrily, guessing he was the red one who kept not feeding me. "Serious, it's not like I shoved an air-freshener in _his_ gills."

He opened the cage and stepped in with the food, I took it gratefully, since I hadn't eaten since breakfast. And that was just cold toast.

"You cut your hair," he observed.

I blushed, I don't know why. It just occurred to me what a shit job I did, and how it was kinda too short at the back coz I couldn't see. He smirked. I went redder. "To stop fishface from ripping off my scalp with my ponytail. At least this way all he'll do is take out a small patch of hair." I say, trying to ignore the embarrassment. "I don't mind having bald patches, as long as I still have skin on my head."

"He'll be annoyed, you know, did Deidara give you scissors?"

"Yeah, I asked," I told him.

He smirked again. "I think Deidara's taken a liking to you. He's broken the number one rule of hostage duty."

"What's that?"

"Never get close to the hostage."

"What? And you haven't?" I asked, leaning against the back of the couch, hands on my hips.

He smirked more. "I thought it was more _you_ taking a liking to _me_."

I laugh. "You wish, buddy."

More smirking. The smirking worried me. Smug smirking. He leaned foreward and touched my hair, it occurred to me it was the first time he'd touched me the whole time. I hadn't been worried, I'd just been prepared to maintain my confused yet superior look. But I should've known by now that that never happens. Especially with me. My cheeks set aflame and his fingertips brushed my cheek as they returned to be crossed over his chest. I could feel my heart beating way too fast.

He smirked more. "Enjoy your dinner, Sorano."

This wasn't supposed to happen, once you found your one true love I thought nobody else mattered! Why did Itachi have this effect? Is it just because I'm so lonely and desperate? It had to be.

No, it wasn't. My friendship with Deidara was more because of the lonely boredom. The raging fire that still burned through my body and the way my heartbeat sounded as if I'd just run about four laps of a football field wasn't just because of lonely boredom. How could he? That bastard! He wasn't supposed too!

I turned and kicked the chair angrily. But behind this anger was the most unquenchable unstoppable feeling. Desire. Why did he have to do this? Why couldn't he be annoying and inexperienced and prying like he was before? Why couldn't I just hate him.

Flickers of Gaara, and all we'd been through rushed through my mind. I knew I wouldn't tell him, I loved him more. But there was this dangerous adventure about Itachi that just drew me in. I didn't like the over-protective distance I had with Gaara. Here I was, nineteen and locked in a room and not allowed to go outside for fear of assassination.

Well, nothing much as changed, here I am, nineteen, except I'm locked in a cage and have just thrown an air-freshener at one of the worlds most-wanted men's gills. And every night another wanted criminal visits and makes me want him just a little bit more, and I hadn't noticed until now. I also may have accidentally given another wanted criminal the wrong impression, while also swearing at one who keeps taking my food away.

I bang my head against the side of the lounge, and groan. I was suddenly not hungry. I tipped the food into the bin next to the toilet, and sudden fear overcame me. I groan again. Damnit, house full of men.

They had obviously got their inspiration from a ladies bathroom. I wondered when my next period would be, and prayed like hell that I would be out of here by then. I hate having to make toilet-paper pads. They suck, and since I only have one set of clothing (also sucks) I'd hate to bleed on anything.

I felt slightly sick. It just wasn't fair, I felt terrible. I was engaged! Fuck! I was _engaged_! I'd just forgotten, a bit. I _love_ Gaara, there is no doubt in that. But can I just want somebody else too? Not love. Just… fun. Just because they seem so dangerous and different… And maybe I'm just going insane from spending about two months locked up in a room, and then five days in a cage.

And yet, some part of me is enjoying this cage more then the lavishly decorated and supplied rooms of Suna. Because 90 percent of the time, Gaara wasn't there. And when he was there, the rooms didn't matter, because _he_ was there. And he is worth more then whatever kind of expensive rug he's standing on.

I lay on the couch and felt horrible for a while, but it didn't stop me forgetting about everything I had been thinking about the moment I heard the door creak open, and Itachi stepped out and into the room. I sat on the arm of my chair, as to be closer to him then I usually was. I mentally slapped myself for this.

He stepped into the cage and I grinned at him. "Itachi," I said, trying my best to keep the excitement at seeing him out of my voice. Now I realized how my god-damned body felt, everything seemed obvious. I wondered how it looked to him.

"Sora," he replied. It was the first time he'd used my nickname.

"How's your night been?" I asked casually.

"Interesting…," he said, and glanced at me with smug eyes. Damnit, he knew.

"Why?" I ask immediately.

"Just the effect you seem to be having on us all," he said absent mindedly. "And it's only been six days."

Six? I thought five. Oh well. "What?"

"In less then a week, you've driven Sasori and Kisame insane, and confused the hell out of Deidara."

"And you?" I ask.

He smirked. "I'm not sure yet."

"Well when you know, be sure to tell me." I say absent mindedly, looking at my nails.

"I will," he assured me. I flashed a smile at him.

"So tell me, is Sasori angry at Dei then?"

"Dei?" he raised an eyebrow curiously.

I grinned in response. "Have a problem with it?"

"No, no…," he trailed off and grinned. Man, I couldn't stop. The suggestive tone to my voice just wouldn't freaking go away. Why did he had this effect on me? I almost groaned aloud and hit my head on the bars of my cage, but restrained myself just in time. Seeing this wouldn't be sexy, attractive or sane.

Not that I wanted to be. Arrgggg. I did! God damnit, I wanted to be somebody who could actually still look attractive in four day old clothes and a bad haircut. I bet Sakura could look attractive in four day old clothes and a bad haircut. Right then, I wished I was her.

"Hey, is there a clothes-washing round here?" I ask suddenly, deciding that I wanted clean clothing for more then one reason.

He raised an eyebrow. "Well, there is. But we'd have no replacement clothing."

Was he being suggestive? I couldn't tell! Ahh! No, he can't be suggestive, because if he was, then I had no chance. I'm engaged. Engagggggggggged. I looked pointedly then at my finger to make my point. Only finding a noticeable lack of ring. Which I hadn't wanted.

Damnn. Damnity damn damn.

"What? Couldn't I borrow some of yours?" I ask innocently. Damnit, _too_ innocently. Goal for tonight: Get that stupid, idiotic suggestiveness out of my freaking voice.

"How obvious do you want to be?" for a fleeting moment, I'd thought he meant the suggestive tone in my voice. "So Deidara comes down here and finds you in my clothing, what's he going to think?"

I tried not to imagine what he'd think. I'd be trying all night to keep the image right and truly out of my head.

I mentally struggled with this for a while but eventually cleared my thoughts. "Look, either these clothes get washed, or I'll be forced to let them soak in the water cooler. And then I'd have nothing to drink. And I'd also have to hide in the cubicle for about three days." This wasn't suggestive, promise. Really, it was more of a threat then a flirtatious statement.

He sighed. And then an idea hit me. "Okay, you bring me breakfast tomorrow, and then just go and complain that I'd been complaining so much about how dirty everything was, and then say I need spare clothes."

"Subtle." He says sarcastically.

"No, no, lissteennn. And think, some Akatsuki genius you are," I sighed. "Who do you think will offer first?"

He raised an eyebrow in what I hoped was understanding, and not scorn. "I'll try it. But I'm not promising anything."

I grin brightly at him. "That's all I ask."

And so he walked up the stairs, and as soon as I heard the door click shut, I turned so I could flip over the back of the couch and land with my face in a pillow.

This wasn't faaaaiiirr. Not on me, not on Gaara. Not on anybody. It was all Itachi's fault.  
Why? Why did I have to want him to touch me? He was a freaking murderer. Ahh, Sasuke would kill me. He really would, he'd chop of my legs. And then Fishface would be really angry because that's his job.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**HELLO. Thanks for all that early-birthday love! :D **

**TWO DAYS TO GO. I'm having a par-tay. I'm going as a fox. :D I LOVE DRESS-UPS. **

**More birthday love'd be great, guys! Haha, I LOVE YOU. THANKS HEAPS. **

**To-love-would-never-lie-to-you. **

**p.s. may not update for a few days, now. Party and all that, (happy birthday to mee!) anyway, LOVE YOU LOTS. **


	31. Guilt

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**Chapter Thirty-One: **

_An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.__ -__Unknown_

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**My head keeps telling me it's Tuesday. I've always hated Tuesdays, they aren't exciting like Monday or fun like Friday. They are just little and lonely in the middle. **

As planned Itachi gave me breakfast. He knew, he damn well _knew_ that I have mental spasms every time he's too close to me. He let his fingers brush over mine as he handed me my breakfast, which I promised myself I'd eat, since I didn't get lunch, and I felt too sick to eat dinner.

I nearly dropped it when out hands touched though, he chuckled softly at this, and I went bright red.

"Wasn't expecting you're hands to be there…" I mumbled quietly, taking the plate.

And to my horror he leaned down so he lips were near my ear and his cheeks brushed mine. This was too much, and I dropped the plate. It shattered on the floor with a bang, and I let out a small squeak.

Damnit. Damnit. He better bring me more breakfast. He really better. But I couldn't think straight then, since he was still too close.

"I… think I dropped... Something…," I said a little breathlessly. "Or was ….that just my imagination?"

"No, I think I heard something too…" he said smoothly in my ear. His breath flowed along my skin, and I shivered. This wasn't right or fair. He was being cruel.

And my head spun dangerously, as his smell was overtaking my senses. After I had come dangerously close to jumping on him then and there I pulled back and shook myself, glaring at him in what I hoped was a fierce manner.

"Not cool," I told him angrily. "Not cool at all."

He chuckled again, and said "My, I think you'll need some more breakfast… and what was that about you're clothes needing to be washed?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You're a bastard. Now go find a washing machine and some spare clothes, thanks."

He nodded slightly, still with a small smile on his lips, and turned to go. As he climbed the stairs I added "And breakfast!"

I scowled to myself, and turned to pick up the broken pieces of plate before I stepped on them.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Sometime later. **

I told you Tuesdays were always terrible.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Bit later, again**

The bastards just brought my lunch early, and by then I was absolutely starving. I was so happy to see some kind of obviously hot lasagna that I could have almost danced.

Deidara brought me down lunch, which I put very carefully on the bench next to the couch, and then he handed me some clothing.

"Itachi, the bastard said you wanted your clothes washed. He refused to give you any of his spares so here's some of mine."

I pretended this was a wonderful, wonderful act of kindness. But did feel a little bad seeing as I must have given Deidara the wrong impression.

"He has no respect for art." He said angrily, I took the clothes happily, and disappeared into the cubicle.

"I could guess that," I told him as I unfolded the clothing. Wow, these were going to ridiculously huge on me. Like, small-girl-wearing-her-fathers-clothing huge. Except small girls don't usually wear their fathers clothing…

"He practically forced me to join this place, yeah!" he said, also angry. I wondered what the hell Itachi had said to make him that annoyed. Maybe they both just generally hated each other.

I threw my dirty puffy light orange pants over the cubicle wall, as well as my 'I HEART SUNA' t-shirt, which I really loved, so I hoped they didn't destroy it. I slipped on long black pants, which I had to roll up about ten times, and then buttoned up the shirt, which wasn't exactly the right size either, I was glad I had a hair-band for this one, and could just tie it at the back.

I stepped out of the cubicle and gathered up my clothes, and handed them to Deidara. "I probably look like a really bad lawyer, yeah?" I ask, not noticing my 'yeah' until it was too late, and hoped he wouldn't take it as mocking. Which it probably was. Sub-conscious mocking.

He nearly smiled. "Yeah."

I laughed. "I guessed." And I rolled up the pants a bit more and hitched the sleeves up. "Thanks heaps! Really, it'll be great to have clean clothes!"

He smiled slightly, and went up the stairs.

And then I dug into my first real meal for about a whole day. Afterwards, I took a nap, because I hadn't slept well for two nights straight.

When I woke up, Kisame had kicked the back of the chair. "Wake up," he demanded, I got up sleepily and he shoved some dinner into my hands, scowled at me, and stormed back up the stairs.

"THANKS FISHFACE!" I called after him. I think it took all his self-restraint then and there not to come and cut my legs off.

And now I'm eating my dinner. Still kinda sleepy, but I know soon enough Itachi will be visiting. And I have to be awake enough to make sure I don't say anything stupid.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Later. **

So, I was just about to think 'screw this, I'm going to sleep' when I heard the door creak open, yeah?

Arrgh, I have to stop sounding like Deidara.

Anyway, I'd jumped up and over the couch and landed on a stray piece of broken breakfast plate and then fallen over because I tried to stand on one foot when I wasn't quite balanced yet. That, my friends, is why I should get at least fourteen hours sleep per night.

So I got the piece of plate out of my foot, and threw it in the corner grumpily, but by this time, Itachi was already in the cell. I smiled at him brightly. "I stepped on some plate. But it's okay now!" Maybe the constant suggestiveness was better then stupid statements.

"Those clothes are big…" he said, looking me up and down. I refused to blush at this, instead looking at myself as much as I could, too.

"I know, I look like some kind of cheap, horrible lawyer?" I ask, grinning.

"No, I was more thinking girl who dresses in her fathers clothes…"

"Y'know, I thought exactly that, but then Deidara agreed with the lawyer theory more."

"Yeah, but nobody listens to Deidara," Itachi murmured, and his hand reached out and touched the small area of open skin near my hip, where the fabric had been pulled back to be pulled tight by the hairband.

And that was it, sadly. My restraint only lasted two days. Our eyes met and that was it. I feel disappointed in myself slightly. But, y'know… I couldn't help it then! Arrhh!

I took half a step foreward immediately, closing the gap, and in the same movement reached up, and dragged his mouth down to meet mine by his collar. The electricity that seemed to run through my body with my pulse almost hurt. I was barely standing.

Without removing his lips from mine, he lifted me up to sit on the back of the couch, seeing as that would at least make me a touch higher.

I never knew I could hold my breath for so long, every bit of me felt so _alive_ and sensitive. I don't know how long we pressed on for. I'd wrapped my legs around him, since they no longer needed to stand.

When we broke apart, it was only for small moments, where only our breathing could be heard.

"This," I kissed him briefly. "Is," and again. "Very, very," it's like normal air wasn't enough, I wanted to breathe in him. "_Wrong_."

He kissed under my ear, which was oddly ticklish. "Why?" he breathed.

"Because I'm practically a married woman," I said breathlessly. The effect I meant it to have really didn't come out right, seeing as I was still gasping for oxygen.

"You're not acting like one," He said, making his way back to my mouth again.

I didn't answer, not like I would have been audible if I did, because once again I was pressing myself desperately against him.

To tell the truth, a little bit of my hated it. But a lot of me hated me more. I had this feeling that Sasuke would care more then Gaara would.

Ahhh, Gaara. I felt horrible. Well, I feel horrible. Since then I wasn't really thinking about him. So now I feel worse. ARGGHH. I can't get the feeling of Itachi's hands on my hips and my thighs and my back out of my head. And the way, my hands kept running through his hair and the way _I_ made him a little breathless by the end of it.

I don't know how long he stayed down there. How long his hands ran under the oversized clothing against my skin, how long I just felt like screaming 'take the freaking clothes _off_!' but now I am quite glad I didn't.

Eventually, he left, I have this feeling he was there to the early hours of the morning. He'd pressed his mouth to mine one last time, and then unexpectedly broken away, and placed me on the ground, since my legs had still been locked fast around his waist. I'd scowled at him and said "What? Has it finally registered that I'm a practically-married woman?"

"Not just yet…," he'd breathed. "But Kisame will be up soon." He said. And his lips brushed mine once more before he slipped out of the cage.

I scowled at him on his way out. "You bastard, Itachi!" I muttered to him.

As soon as he left, I did feel this kind of weird electric kind of guilt, the one that made you smile. The kind of guilt that makes you want to become a repeat offender.

Then it just progressed into angry guilt. How the hell could I? I _LOVE_ Gaara! More then anything else in the world. I really do, I do! I'm not even not-sure. I'm COMPLETELY SURE. There's just something about Itachi that makes me want to be very _very_ close to him.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Breakfast **

Deidara brought down my breakfast, when he came in I blushed. It was like he could tell I'd been up to something.

Well, I hadn't really seen myself, but maybe it was obvious.

"Sorano, what's that on you're neck?" he asked.

I thought for a moment over the possibilities, and none were good. "Umm, nothing." I said, and covered my neck with my hands, my mind racing to the most likely.

His eyes narrowed. "How did you get a hicky on your neck?"

"It was there before, and how I got it was none of you're business," I snap.

"Y'know, I don't want to know, yeah…" he said, and handed me my food. And left, I breathed a sigh of relief. Itachi is stupid, why the hell did he give me a freaking hicky?

Some Akatsuki genius he is.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Lunch (back to the routine write every meal, because nothing else interesting happens)

Fishface brought me lunch, it was fishfingers. And I laughed so much and was all 'HEY, HEY! DID THEY CUT OFF YOUR FINGERS?' and 'I'm not a cannibal, buddy. Sorry, I'm not eating your cousins.' And 'wow, you know, I didn't think you'd go that far to keep me fed.'

He nearly snapped and cut my legs off, I could tell it was coming any second. But the fishfinger jokes just kept coming. I couldn't help myself, it was worse then kissing Itachi. Mainly because Bubbles is really my main source of entertainment.

Now I am eating fishfingers. I feel kind of sick, because I keep picturing them as his fingers. Far out, now I can't eat them.

ARRRGG. But I'm HUNGGRYY.

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**Hellohellohello!**

**THANKS VERY VERY MUCH FOR THOSE REVEIWS! Thankyou, thankyou thankyou! Lots and Lots. **

**I love you very very very very much. Many love's for all! **

**Love, To-love. **

**P.s. So-I-thought, you're story made me laugh! ;D **


	32. Chastity, dear

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**Chapter Thirty-Two: **

_Sometimes the heart should follow the mind, and sometimes the heart should tell the mind to stay at home and stop interfering. – Edward Monkton, 'Love'. _

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**Dinner **

Far outtt. Itachi brought my dinner down, and I was all 'okay, Sorano, you are not going to make out with him. You're not. I don't care if he gives you a striptease. NO making out.' I failed, I did. We practically ended up on the floor, but footsteps on the floor above us brought us both back to reality, and this time I told him to get lost before he gets caught.

By that time my dinner was cold again.

Arrggg. Life isn't fair. I miss the familiar boring schedule of the Kazekage's Offices. Slightly. Okay, not at all. Life here isn't so bad, besides the missed meals because they don't feed me often enough. And the bad haircut. And the infidelity.

I wished so much, Gaara would bust right in here and kick Itachi back to Akatsuki. I love Gaara, don't get me confused. And I do _not_ love Itachi. He's not my type of angry murderer. Plus brunettes and I always end up arguing, I know this from personal experience, I mean, look at Kankuro… I think he's a brunette…. Itachi doesn't know me, all he knows is that he likes touching me. And that I like it when he does. But Gaara knows that I love lacing our fingers together, and that I love being kissed on the corner on my mouth, and that it's better to just help me to the nurses office in silence, because if you ask me to explain it won't make any sense.

I hit my head on the arm of the couch. Okay. No more. I will not _do_ anything else with Itachi, god shoot me down if I do.

I need a resolve, and that is that I will _not_ have sex with Itachi. I don't care what he does, I won't. I will hide in the toilet cubicle until he goes away. Sorano, you will be cool, icy and rational. You will not leap on him like a fangirl. Infact, right now, go and sit on that toilet.

And so here I am. Sitting on a toilet with the lid down. Man this is boring…

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Later**

Okay, so I slept with Itachi. But that is only because he found me sleeping in the toilet cubicle, and the main point of my grand plan was to _not_ see him. I was just gonna tell him to just leave the food near the cage door, because I am very sick and cannot be seen otherwise he'll die.

But instead, I fell asleep and he woke me up and from then on out I'd already lost. I don't feel like eating. All this stupid skipping meals is making my resolve weak. Arghhh. I feel terrible.

HOW COULD I? No, not my fault. I believe it's ITACHI'S god-damned fault. I bristled. I wish Deidara would hurry up and blow him up or something. He has many bombs, yes? Can't he just hire a plane and bomb Itachi like a good terrorist should?

Arrgghh. I hit my head against the arm of the chair again. But the texture of the couch didn't really help forget everything, so I got off the chair and continued my self-harm-fest using the leg of the small table next to the couch.

I accidentally hit my stitches, and decided that was enough pain in the self-harm department. You know, by now, suddenly my life makes sense. It's obvious, all those times I've slipped over on slippery driveways and ran into Ministers for Communications and got stuck in vents and been caught out half naked in pools. It's all in payback for this. In advance.

Ahhhhhh. Everything suddenly makes sense, so after this, I should be wonderful and beautiful and sexy. Because I won't fall over everything and continuously get bruises on my face.

Nineteen years worth of injuries if enough to make up for this, right? RIGHT? I hit my head gently against the side of the table again. Errg. No, it's not. But I have a feeling that if I stab Itachi into little pieces, I will feel a lot better.

I am going to sleep. I am going to sleep _off_ my troubles. Not _on_ them.

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**Morning sometime. **

Sasori brought me food. And clothes! _My_ clothes. I'm trying not to think of last night.

Hahah, I sound like such a drunken teenager. Arrhh, if I was drunk, I'd've at least had an excuse. But no. All I have is a couch and a toilet cubicle. No alcohol.

But knowing me, even if I was drunk I probably _wouldn't_ have slept with Itachi, I probably would have just found a lampshade and told him how it suited his skin complexion.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Small amount of time later **

Mmmm. My clothes smell nice. Like cheap washing power. I love washing powder… mmm.

I hope lunch is soon. And I hope Itachi isn't bringing it. I hope somebody like Kisame brings it. And he'll just say something that will make me really angry, so angry I pass out for the next five days and cannot take off anybody's clothing. Because I'm asleep.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Lunch **

Dei brought lunch. And I knew I couldn't convince him to say something that would make me so angry I'd pass out.

As he passed me my food, I chewed a bit of some unknown vegetable moodily. "Hey, Dei, where am I?" I ask suddenly.

"Umm," he pauses, not knowing whether to tell me or not.

I sigh. "Am I in, or out of Suna City?"

"In, yeah," he answered.

"Really? I thought I was in like, your HQ or something. Y'know, secret base of bases. Etcetera."

"Uh, no," he said dryly.

I looked disappointed. "Damn… well, that ruins all my fun. You guys can't even be bothered to cart me out of Suna."

He seemed to sense my moody mood. So he just said 'yeah' a few times and backed away.

I just said thanks moodily, and he knew better then to start a conversation about his annoying views on art, so he just went back up the stairs to leave me to eat my leftover lasagna in peace.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Dinner **

To my luck, Kisame brought my dinner down. I was so happy, I had to concentrate on being really angry, but it was like _he_ refused to be angry.

Serious, I called him everything. I called him Fishface and Gilly and Bubbles and Shark-bait and everything I could think of to do with marine creatures! Far out, I even resorted to fish-related jokes.

"Hey, hey! Bubbles! Guess what? Why is it so easy to weigh a fish?" I ask excitedly, not bothering to wait for his answer, I continue. "THEY HAVE THEIR OWN SCALES!"

He glares with such intensity, I almost stop. But then I don't.

"Hey, hey, what would you get if you crossed a great-white shark, with a cow? I don't know! But I wouldn't wanna milk it!" I laugh hysterically, and then waggle my eyebrows suggestively. "That would explain you're lack of love-life, yes?"

I swear, then and there he might have ripped my arms off with his teeth if he didn't have the key to open my cage. Instead, he mushed my dinner into a pulp, and turned to stomp back up the stairs. I was too happy to notice the fact that I hadn't gotten either: so angry I passed out, _or_ my dinner.

It was worth it, losing dinner to see Bubbles that angry. Really, I was. So, to my disappointment, I was having too much fun seeing him trying not to cut my legs off that I forgot to be angry.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Sometime later **

Okay, so plan two to avoid repeating last night's fiasco. I have created a Chastity Belt. It is made, ironically, out of Deidara's clothing, that he forgot to reclaim this morning when he brought food. Only problem is it's not much of a Chastity Belt, and more of an over-sized nappy.

I figure, either, the Chastity Belt will help me rememeber why I shouldn't do what I'm thinking of doing when Itachi tries doing it, or it will make me look so ridiculous that Itachi will just laugh and walk away.

I'm banking on that second one, since the first is a pretty flimsy plan. Okay, so, I am wearing my Chastity Belt, and in the toilet cubicle. I will not fall asleep.

My plan, is FULLPROOF. Completely.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Sometime later **

Okay, so what I didn't expect was the fact that the toilet cubicle is actually portable, because Akatsuki are way to poor to buy a new one, and way too lazy to screw it to the floor.

So as I waited innocently to laugh at Itachi as I sat on the other side of a locked door, I didn't realize that he could just come along and pick it up, lift it over me and put it to the side.

I gape. "How in the name of our dear lord DID YOU DO THAT?" I say in genuine amazement.

He grins slightly. "It's not attached to the floor, and it's made out of thin plastic."

I blink at it, and then at him. "Wow, you're like the Incredible Hulk."

"I told you, it weights less then ten kilograms."

"You're just denying it, so I don't know your true Identity, Mr. Incredible Hulk," I say seriously. "You can't hide it from me."

He knows he won't win, so he changes the subject. "Why are you wearing a nappy?"

"It's not a nappy."

"Dear god, please do not tell me you bled on that-," for once, he looked genuinely horrified.

And then I started laughing, I laughed so hard I cried. "Y-You think I-I have-," and I had to laugh more, it was that kind of laugh that hurt. My sides ached. "I-I don't have my PERIOD," and I laugh more.

He looks freaked out. I continue laughing, and eventually calm myself to a small, teary constant chuckle. "N-No, it's a chastity belt…," and I laughed more. "As if I'd use Deidara's clothes for a-," and I laugh more.

He looks slightly disgusted, I could imagine why, but only a fellow female would find this as amusing as I did. And obviously there was none others in the room. After wiping another few tears of laughter away, I glanced up at his slightly grossed-out and amused expression.

"So," he said, moving forward, he hooked his finger on the inside of my make-shift chastity belt. "What is this for, then?"

I resisted the urge to leap on him. "To keep me chaste, but on the note of bodily fluids, that bin will NOT help, serious, you guys need to stop taking inspiration from a bloody public toilet an-," I was cut off, as he probably decided he was too disgusted, and had mentally tossed a coin on whether to shut me up himself, or just escape somehow.

To my annoyance (but not disappointment, sadly) he just decided to shut me up himself, I knew I'd lost. Really, I'd been counting on those cubicle things _not_ to be movable.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Mornnnnnnnnning. **

I hate my life. I really do. Actually, no, I'd feel so much better if I hated my life. Instead, I'm thoroughly enjoying my life right now. And that's the bit that really sucks.

If I had the willpower to slap him and scream abuse, then I would feel much, much better then I do now.

Actually I wouldn't. I feel terrible for feeling happy. I shouldn't. But I do. It's a kind of sick, twisted happy. Actually, it's not. How ironic, here I am locked in a cage committing infidelity and I haven't really send sunlight for many days, and yet I've never been free-er.

Arrghh. I just wish I was miserable! I wish, I could just get out of here and honestly tell Gaara that I hated it here, and am quite glad to be out. I don't want to stay here, I don't. Not with FishFace around. But I don't really mind how long I'm stuck here for…

I wish I did. I wish I hated every moment of this.

Ohhh! I smell breakfast.

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**HELLO. THANKYOU QUITE A LOT FOR THOSE REVEIWS. :D **

**I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU. EVERY ONE OF YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU. LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS. :D **

**Love, to-love-is-to-lie. **


	33. Brother

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Chapter Thirty-Three:**

_Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.__ - __Benjamin Franklin_

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**Breakkie. **

So Deidara brought down Breakfast, and I politely enquired over whether I could shower or not. He said sure, yeah.

And so I practically inhaled my breakfast, and then followed him upstairs.

"Y'know, you're the first to ever not try and make a break for it when we let them shower, yeah?"

I look at him, surprised. "Why would I try and make a break for it, instead of shower?"

He looked at me with his eyebrow raised, I couldn't really tell, this is a guess since his fringe kind of got in the way. "Why haven't you run, yet?"

I shrug. "It isn't too bad here, I mean, so far all you've had to take care of is fat old ladies and angsty teens," I told him seriously. "So, according to my logic, I'm in-between both of these, and so I do neither."

"Of course, yeah?" he said, kind of confused.

I sigh. "I am like… A frog that isn't quite a frog yet, but isn't really a tadpole. So I can't hop well, but I can't really swim good either," I said wisely, feeling proud of my great simile.

"Deep," he said, smiling slightly. I scowl, he was making fun of my insightful metaphors. "I think you're just weird."

I considered this. "Or, I am a tadpole," I told him stubbornly. "And blonde people with weird fringes should just realize that my metaphoric power is just too much for them to handle."

"That was a simile, anyway." He said dryly. I glared.

He glared back, and we continued our walk in silence. I get to the shower, and nod curtly. He just turns and walks back to some room or whatevs.

I enjoy I lovely shower, take my best bet over which razor is Bubbles's and then use it to shave my legs. Once again, I'm betting on the blue one. I mean, why wouldn't one buy a razor to match their face?

After my shower, I open the door to let myself out, and then look around. Once again, finding Deidara or whoever was assigned to look after me gone, I shrug, and wander off to go find a kettle. It had been way too long since my last good cup of tea.

And so I eventually found the kitchen, sneaking past Fishface, who was watching the TV, and sat there for a good long while in the sun drinking tea. Then coffee. Then another coffee.

I forgot how much I missed coffee.

Having short hair is also a god-send. Especially in times of shit conditioner, since these guys don't really know what makes a good hair product. Well, Fishface doesn't. Itachi and Deidara might. Their hair seems silky enough.

Anyway! So I sat there in relative peace, until Itachi came along. I tried to act normal, like I was supposed to be in the kitchen and all, but it didn't last long.  
"Mornin' Itachi," I said happily.

He gave me a look, and then continued looking through cupboards.

I smiled brightly, again. "There's boiled water in the kettle, if you want coffeeee," I told him cheerfully.

He sighs, and turns to look at me. "Y'know, I don't think Kisame will really hesitate in cutting your legs off if he finds you here."

"I walked right past him," I said, confused. "He didn't notice."

"That'll just make it worse."

"Damn… oh well, I'll just make another cup of coffee for the road, and back in the cage I gooooo," I said, and pour more hot water into my cup. "Back, back, back, back, back in the cage I goooooooo!"

"You've had a lot more then one mug of coffee, haven't you?"

"Only four. More then that one. Which makes five."

He sighs. "Back in the cage."

"I gooooo!" I finish, twirling around to sneak in a kiss, and then walk back through the hall, and down the stairs to my cage. He seems surprised by this. _I'm_ surprised by this. I should know better. I blamed the coffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Also have this weird feeling, if it had even have been Sasori I would have done the same, because I was in quite a good mood. But then I have a feeling various limbs would have been in jeopardy.

So I am back in the cage (I weeennttt!)

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Lunch **

The angry one who doesn't feed me enough brought lunch, and I was hungry so I just shut up and let him bring food, and then leave.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Dinner **

"Kisame refuses to feed you," Itachi explained simply as he set the food down on the table.

"Good," I say. "Though, maybe those fish jokes where a little on the harsh side," I contemplate, chewing on a piece of pasta.

Itachi looked mildly interested, so I explained.

"Well. That explains why he doesn't want to feed you," He said, eyebrows raised. I think I saw a barely concealed smirk of amusement for a split second, too.

I grin back broadly. "Itachi, can you tell me something?"

He didn't answer, he just looked at me. I knew what he was saying, 'I don't know, you'll have to ask.' The whole silent conversations thing has ended in some kind of mind-reading ability. But only when he wants me too.

"Why is the Uchiha clan dead?" I ask simply, frowning slightly in confusion.

He seemed slightly surprised, I knew what was running through his head, either, I was going to tell Sasuke, or I just wanted some excuse not to have any more sexual relations.

It was none of the first one, and I'll admit, a bit of the second one.

I smiled a small smile. "It wasn't just because you felt like it," I told him.

He shakes his head. "No, it wasn't."

"Then why?"

"Either way they were going to die," he said simply, his eyes had gone cold.  
I don't know why I knew, I just did. "You love him."

"Who?"

"Sasuke," I said, and the paused. "Y'know in a brotherly way."

"They would have killed him, too," Itachi said, his eyes on mine.

"I'm sorry," I said, and I really meant it. I suddenly realized, the person who Sasuke was desperately trying to kill had actually saved him. Also, one of the people who are most dear to me, could have been dead right now. Which would have consequentially probably knocked Naruto off too, seeing as he is dramatic and wouldn't have lived through it all.

"It was better that way," Itachi replied, and left. Without another word.

I let him leave, but then when he was just at the door I smiled slightly. "You're still an asshole, though."

I knew he'd be glad I mentioned it. He really wouldn't have liked the idea of me getting all emotional all over the place. He preferred being the mysterious sexy man who seduces the captive in a very secret relationship.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Day… what? Seven?**

Itachi didn't come down yesterday night. It was a lonely, boring, un-betrayal filled night. Less guilty… well, more guilty in a way. I feel like I've invaded his privacy, even though he told me.

Sasuke hates somebody he really shouldn't. I hate all these secrets, somehow I get myself tangled in them. It's like I'm trying to glue something together, but somebody poked holes in the packet, so every time I try to get it in the right spot it ends up oozing out all over my hands.

And there it sticks.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Lunch **

I'm not sure if this would mess Sasuke more. Especially when he's just starting to forget, and let go. I think Itachi would go for it, y'know. I have this weird feeling that one day, Itachi will find Sasuke.

I don't think that's a good idea. At all. I think that would just drive him nuts. I can't handle that, Naruto couldn't either.

Also, there is a very good chance Sasuke would stab Itachi before he could say anything.

Ahhh. What to dooo.

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Small amount of time latttttttttttttter. **

Sasori brought me lunch, I was good and quiet so I actually got my food. That bastard.

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Ditto **

Okay, so firstly I still have Deidara's clothes. Remind me to give those back, okay?

Secondly, I may explode. Mostly out of sheer frustration and terror. Sasuke will kill me for so many god-damned different and liable reasons. I cannot argue with any of them without sounding like Naruto.

_'I'm sorry, but you can't handle truth like this' _

_'Who knows how you'd react?' _

_'I just hadn't got around to telling you, is all.' _

_'YOU'D GO NUTS, KAY?' _

You see? I have no choice really, I either am the biggest hypocrite in history, or I tell him. Or, I make sure Itachi never sees Sasuke every again in both of their small insignificant existences. Which will be really hard. More examples below.

'_Okay, so, you don't ever see that brother you save, yeah_?' Nooo… too much like Deidara.

_'Sasuke'd go nuts_.' Simple… too simple.

'_Sasuke would more then possibly have severe mental damage to his brainal regain_.' Not simple enough. And I would sound like a retard.

_'Sasuke would probably kill you, yeah?_' Once again. Deidara's in my head.

'_He wouldn't listen. You'd be dead, and then I'd be stuck with looking after him because about three days later, he'd realized what you said, then he would probably stop eating because he's a silly drama queen, and then Naruto would stop eating too, because he's a worse then silly drama queen. And there'd be me in the middle of, being really, _really_ angry.'_ It's a bit long, needs refining, but so far it's the best I've got…

……………………………………………………………………………………………

**Afternoon, Gov'ner **

Deidara brought dinner. Shortly after, I heard a series of loud explosions from upstairs.

Either Gaara has found me, or he is art-making.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

…

I'm not that sure which would be more destructive.

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**Hello all! GOOOD LUCK ON YOUR EXAMS, INKY! :D I hate exams. I am at home now, doing ER with one of our calves. She so far has a drip in her, and I had to sleep with her in the laundry last night.**

**I swear, what other kind of high-school aged girl has to sleep in the laundry with a malnutrition-ed calf? Argh, anyway, I had a horrible nights sleep. The mattress was terrible, and the calf kept snoring. **

**Anyway, LOVE YOU. Thanks for the reviews! **

**Love, to-love. **


	34. Too Close

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**Chapter Thirty-Four: **

_Morality, like art, means drawing a line someplace. - __Oscar Wilde_

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**Laters **

Itachi visited again, tonight. Which I am glad about, since last night was lonely and boring.

"Itachi!' I said happily when I heard the door of the cage open, I jumped up from the couch.

"Sorano," he answered simply.

I grinned in return. "Sooooo, how's your day been?"

"Interesting," he replied simply.

I patted the spot on the couch next to me happily. "Sittdown, love."

As usual he shook his head and leant back lazily against the metal bars of my cage. "You have something on your mind," he said simply.

I gave him a look, it said 'so do you'. He got the message, due to our silent-conversation abilities. He smirked slightly.

"You're going to find him, aren't you?" I asked somewhat sadly.

"One day."

"He'll kill you, you know."

"I know," he answered.

My eyes pop open. "What!? What are you saying, Itachi?" I asked, my eyes narrowing now.

He shrugged. "I'd rather die by his hands."

"Noooo! No, no, no! No," I commanded, slightly angrily.

"Why?"

"Because, one, that would drive Sasuke nuts," goodbye to intelligent reasons, I guess. "And two, because then you would be dead, and well, that wouldn't do any good would it?" I said, avoiding the fact _I_ would go nuts too if he was dead.

"It would do more good then if I was alive," he pointed out.

I scowl. "Well, don't, okay? Serious, Sasuke is healthier without the reminder."

He raised an eyebrow. "Isn't it healthier that he learn the truth, and let it go?"

"No, it's not," I told Itachi with a steely glare. "Really, it's not. You'll just get stabbed. He'll just be angsty. Naruto will be whiney, and I will just be _very_ angry."

"About what?"

"Waste of life, is all," I say, glaring, swallowing the lump in my throat.

"What is this about, Sora?"

"You messing up several lives, Itachi," I answered, trying very hard to keep my voice even. He wouldn't listen if I told him that I would really, _really_ mind if he died.

"Who's lives, Sorano?"

Dangit. He knew. I glare. "Not just Sasuke's, it'd have a reaction on us all."

"Of course it would…," he murmured, and then trailed off into thought.

"Don't do it, Itachi. He's just forgetting. He's just starting to live a normal life." I say, and rub my temples. A habit I now understood why Gaara did. "Please."

When I looked up, he met my gaze, and shook his head, my tired eyes turned into pleading ones, and for a swift moment, the true depth of things shined through. The fact that the idea of Sasuke going crazy didn't bother me as much as the idea of him not existing. It drove me crazy, imagining him gone. Forever, and ever.

I stood, leaning off the arm of the couch where I had been sitting. I stood as tall as I could, but it didn't really make much difference.

"If you want what's best for him, don't do it," I told him again. "You think you know him, but he's _changed_. He hates you will all his soul and heart. God knows how he's still living with all that hate stored up in him. Please. Do not go after Sasuke," It was the last time I'd say it, for both his sake, my sake, and Sasuke's sake.

He looked at me for a while with his red-tinted eyes, before turning silently and walking out of the room. I heard the familiar order of sounds. Click for the lock, footsteps, then creak for the door. I sigh, and sit down on my couch for a long time, thinking.

Dangit. Dangit, dangit dangit. If Itachi was dead, it would solve a lot of my problems. But if Sasuke kills Itachi, then not only would Sasuke probably end up in Jail, Naruto would go nuts, and I'd probably swallow every air-freshener I can find.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Later **

Shitty shit shit. I hate my life. Where the hell _is_ that air-freshener when I need it?

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Later, again. **

Oh wait, it's lodged somewhere in Bubbles's gills.

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

**ditto **

There is no chance he'll give it back, will he?

……………………………………………………………………………………………

**Umm, what is this? Day ten? I don't really know or care, all I want is breakfast right about now. **

Have they forgotten me or something? Serious, I think they have.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Later**

Nooo! They didn't. It's all good. Deidara brought my breakfast, we chatted for a while, and then he left. And I forgot, AGAIN, to give him his freaking clothing. I thought I told you to REMIND ME. I hope he doesn't think I'm some stalker freak.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Lunch**

Lunchylunchlunchlunch. The red one brought it, and I was nice and quite mainly because I was very hungry. Also because I was thinking about how the hell I can get Itachi to not go on a suicidal mission to ruin Sasuke.

Not like he'd mean too. It's just he doesn't realize he'd never get a chance to explain. He'd just get a long-winded planned out evil victory speech, and then probably several fists to the face.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Later **

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

**Dinner**

Well, I guess this is my cue to leave. I didn't think it'd end like this, y'know, I just envisioned being really bored with all this hostage-type thing, and leaving. But it seems more then necessary now. More important then just _my_ mental health.

So Itachi brought my dinner down, all he did was put the dish in my cage, all while making this long, thoughtful mysterious eye contact which didn't help in my abstinence from general sex. And then he left, to my surprise. I almost asked why, but then realized that would probably make things worse.

Sighing, I forced myself to eat dinner. Only ended up eating half. I felt sick in that sad worried way. I hated myself for it. I wanted to hate Itachi for it too, but found I really couldn't. I wish I could regret this whole situation, but I can't. I have to be happy and grateful it happened, even though it's making me confused about everything I'd ever been sure about.

What felt like years later, I heard the creak of the door opening. Sighing, I didn't bother turning around. Footsteps. Click. Footsteps. I knew the sounds.

It was silent for a while, before I turned around and propped myself up to sit on the arm of the couch.

The silence stretched out. I looked at my feet for a moment. I tried to feel the emotions in the air. We were both thinking something, but I couldn't really figure out what _I_ was thinking, let alone what he was on about.

My mind raced, I was torn between picking up my argument to stop his suicidal screw-everything-up mission, and tearing his clothes off.

Eventually, I looked up to meet his eye contact. When I did, he was closer then I had expected, and I had to looked up further then necessary to make eye contact.

He knelt a bit, and without a word pressed his lips to mine. I placed one hand lightly on the back of his neck. But besides that, our lips were the only contact. It was different from all the other hungry, lustful kisses.

It was so… _emotional_. It told so much, I stood so I could get closer, but not in the frenzied way. Everything was still slow. My heartbeat didn't even seem to pick up; the world seemed to have stood still, for all we knew. I felt his hands on either side of my face.

Every part of my felt alive, but in a strange numb way. I couldn't have broken the kiss, even if I had have wanted too. I've felt some pretty powerful emotions over the years, but none really like this. Not saying none _better_ then this, but just nothing really exactly quite _like_ it.

It felt like _we_ were absolutely nothing, and in a weird, thoughtless floating way, it felt very, very good. Even though I was still so relaxed and tranquil, I was breathless and my head seemed empty, I couldn't think of anything else but his lips on mine.

But then it ended, we were both something again. Just like that first moment when I saw him, we were mirrors. Of shock, of mingled fear and horror. I saw me, and I'm sure in me, he saw him.

We both knew something had to be done, we'd gone too far. The silent conversation raged, anger and then a slight sadness, and then resolve, then disagreement. And then a mask. We were something again, and what's worse, we were both something different to the other.

I sighed, and nodded. He almost leaned in to kiss me again, but backed off, and nodded back. I closed my eyes. I heard footsteps. And then nothing. Then more footsteps. And then the creak of the door.

I knew what he'd done. I sighed, and opened my eyes again. The cage door swung open slightly, I knew what he'd done. That had been too close for both of our comforts. And for the benefit of all, I had to be out of here.

It had been too close, way too close. Who knows? A few moments more and could I be prepared to do what I'm doing? I surveyed the slightly open cage door, and then let out a breath I think I'd been holding for an unhealthy period of time.

I grinned lopsidedly, and reached for my bag. So here I am, writing. Thinking. I have already written a note. It says:

_Dear wonderful gracious hosts, _

_You have made my stay quite hospitable, I am a terrible guest and must leave without thanks, but really, it's been fun. _

_Bubbles, keep those gills clean and fresh. Lilac suits you._

_Deidara, life of crime is practically the same as a life of art. Probably better on the tragic-past front, too. Since all successful artists either need a tragic past, or to be hooked on hard drugs, you should stick with this whole crime thing. Go my pretty, and eventually blow up most of the worlds great monuments, it'd be something to remember alright. _

_Sasori… We never really got along. I also side with Deidara on the art-argument-front. _

_Itachi, take the contacts out. They're just plain creepy. You'll never find a girl who'll put up with eyes like that. _

_Anyway, thanks for all the wonderful food, and all. _

_Love, _

_Sorano. _

_p.s. SO LONG AND THANKS FOR ALL THE FISH, BUBBLES! _

I left it on the cage door bars. So, with my bag slung over my shoulders. Here I am. And off I go, I guess.

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**Hello, hello, hello! :D **

**Special thanks to , who I ****LOVE****. (She wrote a poem, I LOVED IT. It was **_**really**_** good! Stole something to use in my quotes, hope you don't mind.) Also found a mention on her deviant art page, which made me love her more. **

**THANKYOU all for reviewing. :D **

**Love, to-love-is-to-lie **

**P.s. thankyou to KikiOjji, your review really meant a lot. **


	35. Public Transport

……………………………………………………………………………………………

**Chapter Thirty-Five: **

_There used to be a real me, but I had it surgically removed.__ - __Peter Sellers_

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**Sunday 1/12/18, 6:45 **

Okay, so I got out and realized Dei had been telling the truth that time. I _was_ still in Suna. It had been about three in the morning. So I've been hiding out in a bus shelter for a long while. I guess the whole bus-shelter thing decided it, I mean, I couldn't walk to the Kazekage's Offices. So I just decided I'd take public transport. How anti-climatic, so the hostage makes a desperate escape by walking out the door and catching the bus back home.

Sooo… here I am. On a bus. At almost seven in the morning. Not really a dramatic escape, but y'know, an escape none-the-less. Even if I did have help from Itachi. Not because he wanted me gone, either. Just because, well, I couldn't stay, could I? I had to go. For both our sakes, I had to go.

That kiss... it had been an accident. On both our parts. We'd let it go beyond lust, and into something neither of us could cope of deal with. He had a career in being a non-law-abiding person, and I had a fiancée, who I love a _lot_.

So he'd let me go. He was stronger then me, if I were him, I couldn't have done it. But I guess, if I were him, I wouldn't be me. So I would have done it.

I don't know. But either way I had to leave, otherwise we both would have been in trouble. Big trouble.

So this bus trip is pretty weird, I keep jumping every time it stops, hiding under the window incase I see Sasori or Bubbles out the window. Dear lord, if I saw Bubbles out there, and he spotted me, I think I would have zero scalp left by the time I got back to my cage. And less then zero legs left. Negative legs. God knows how that would work out, but Bubbles'd do it.

I hear the busdrivers scratchy voice call to me from up the front. "Where you headed, miss?"

"How close can you get to the Kazekage's Offices?"

"Not very… But I'll drop you off at a bus stop where you can switch. Another bus'll take you there."

"Thank you!" I call to him, and return to my sorry state of thought. Despite the large amount of trouble I am in, there is a little itch of excitement to see my Gaara again. I should have come home earlier, to tell the truth.

One moment, switching bus.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Few moments later **

Okay. So Mr. Bus driver of this bus says that it's about an hour and fifteen minutes to the Kazekage's offices, and the third-last stop.

I had seven stops to go.

Six.

Five.

Four.

I'm going insane.

Three.

Ahhh, screw this. I'll just wait.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Seventh Stop **

Okay, so he didn't take me all the way, he just dropped me in the city, but I knew my way easily to the Kazekage's Offices by then, and there was enough people out and about by now that I knew, even if Kisame and the gang were watching me, they wouldn't dare an attack.

So, with that, I walked quite leisurely back to where Gaara would be, I couldn't really contain the butterflies in my tummy, and I grinned excitedly like a crazy woman as I walked.

As soon as I stepped in the door I grinned at everybody in there, they gave me a strange look, and slight-grimaced-slight-smiled back, and I approached Sanako's desk.

"Goodmorning! Can I see Gaara, please?" I ask happily.

"Visit-," she started.

My happy mood vanished. "You tell me to come back in visiting hours and I swear I'll scream so loud he'll hear me all the way up on the nineteen billionth floor and come down to see me all by himself," I said threateningly.

Her head snapped up, and she looked shocked. "Miss. Takaski?"

I nod. "Sorano, and seriousssss-," I was cut off as she pressed a button, said something into a small speaker, and less then two minutes later the room was flooded by people.

So many inspections, so many tests. Blood checks, body checks. I wasn't stoned, or drugged or (besides my stitches) hurt too much, or carrying a bomb or anything else dangerous. It all happened to quickly, I didn't even really have time to carry on about somebody sticking a needle in my arm.

"Ow," I complain after he took it out and walked away without another word. A person with a clipboard approached me and then asked me many questions.

"Where are you?"

"Uhh… Right now, I am in the Kazekage's offices," I say with some hesitation.

"How do you feel?"

"A bit violated, people keep touching me, and I think somebody just lifted up the back of my shirt and- that tickles!" I laughed.

"Where were you yesterday?"

"I don't really know, well, I was still in Suna."

"Who were you with?"

Oh dear. Umm.

"Not quite sure. One of them was blue, though," I added the last bit, seeing as I don't really care if Kisame is executed.

The questions continued until I got fed up with the stupid, obvious boring questions and snapped at the man to go get Gaara or I'd go right back outside and find my captors and tell them to take me back.

And then he came down, and the smile that lit up my face was possibly the happiest anybody could ever smile, ever. I'd forgotten the way my heart went a little more then crazy when I saw him, and the way I could feel my pulse beating away at a faster-then-healthy rate. The way I felt so alive, and the way more then anything, I just wanted to touch him and kiss him and tell him I loved him.

And people kind of parted when he walked straight through the crowd, a happy look hidden behind a scowl. My smile broadened.

"Gaara!" and I leap out of the crazy people's grasp and leap on him instead.

He nodded for the others to leave, and dragged me back through the crowd, as soon as we had the privacy of the elevator, he pulled me close and pressed his lips to mine.

He kissed my lips, and then my forehead and then my cheeks and my nose and my neck and shoulders, and then back to my lips, which were all too eager.

But after a while, he sat me on the back of the couch and looked at me, I knew an interrogation session was happening.

I groan. "Serious!? Can't this wait until _after_ sex?!"

He chucked, then was serious. "I need to know everything."

"Yeahhh… but it isn't the same when we both still have our clothes on…," I whined.

Sighing, I dragged him closer and kissed him. "Fiine," I paused. "But, you need to promise to not make accusations."

He glared into the distance, I knew very well that if he caught any of them it'd take all his self control not to break their necks himself. "I can't really promise much at the moment."

"Don't be shocked, but it actually wasn't that bad." I tell him seriously.

"You're kidding me." He looked slightly angry. I think he probably wanted to hear that they were horrible and mistreated me to the max. "Sorano, you walk back in here happy, relaxed as if you'd come home from a fucking _holiday_! You were kidnapped by some of the worlds most wanted criminals!"

"I knew we should have talked about this after sex…," I muttered to myself, and then sighed again. "Okay, so they were really _friendly_ criminals… well, most of them. Actually, no only half of them. Most of them were quite cruel. But I can be cruel too, so it was okay."

"Sorano, you're version of cruel compared to theirs is like dropping a pin compared to dropping a piano."

"Oh, no, I can be plenty cruel! If I had of had a really big sword I could have cut certain people's legs off, too." I paused. "I mean, Kisame really did have a good excuse to want to cut my legs off. I did call him Bubbles, and then make way to many fish jokes when he gave me fishfingers that one time…," I trailed off.

Gaara looked like he could have broken something. Mainly my neck. "Sorano," he growled.

"I know, I know, but eventually I did get bored with being stuck in a room and the lack of showers… so I did get out eventually."

"What? You just strolled out when you felt like it?" he said, half angry, half amazed.

"Well, basically." With a little help.

"You're insane, Sorano."

"If I wasn't, I'd be dead by now." I tell him seriously.

He dropped his head onto my shoulder and moaned slightly. "I have no idea what to do with you, sometimes," he said.

"If it makes you feel better, they didn't feed me nearly enough. I think I lost weight, which isn't good for my growth."

"What growth?" he moaned, head still resting on my shoulder.

I scowl at him. "Shh. You just wait, one day I'll be the tallest here."

He lifted his head up to face me. "You just wait until I find those bastards," Ahh… there it was. He really would kill them. I sigh, yeah, Gaara is pretty much terrifying when he is this angry, but I loved him too much to ever be scared. "I sw-,"

"I know, you'll cut their legs off, yeah?" DAMNIT! I hate Deidara.

He sighed, obviously wishing I would just say what he wanted to hear. He surveys me again. "You cut your own hair?" He observed.

I sighed, too. "I know, I know, but Bubbles kept nearly pulling my scalp off for really stupid little things, like fish jokes." I pause. "So I cut it myself, so he wouldn't grab my poor pony-tale." I touch my badly cut hair protectively. "It's easier to care for, at least."

The corners of his mouth twitched upwards, and touched the side that was slightly longer then the other, and then his hand moved upwards to run along the scar I'd earned myself, his slight-smile dissolved.

"I hate to kill you're killing mood," I told him. "But I did that. I threw myself at the corner-table."

"So that's where the blood came from," he said dryly.

I grin sheepishly. "Yeah… but it'll heal up, hopefully."

He looked doubtful, but then shook his head. And looked me in the eyes. "I'm still going to rip their heads off if I see them," he vowed.

"Amen to that," I answered, rolling my eyes.

He throws me a look, and then scoops me of the couch swiftly, and kissed me roughly. I guess he knew he wasn't going to hear what he wanted to hear so he'd have leave to go out with a really big gun of some sort and shoot at blue people until he eventually hit the right one.

Hate to be a smurf right about now.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Midday. **

I slept for a while, seeing as I am quite out of my normal sleeping pattern, I'm used to sleeping late and then staying up to about two in the morning probably waiting for Itachi. Ahh… shitty shit shit. Must not think/mention Itachi.

When I woke up, Gaara wasn't there. I'd been sleeping for quite a few hours, since I arrived at about eight in the morning. I think I've driven Gaara nuts, he really, really wants to hear me say I was abused and starved (which I was), and beaten and the such. But a) if I did, he'd be even crazier, and b) only half of those things really happened.

I got up, and then practically dove into the shower. There I stayed for about an hour. I changed into clean clothes, and then made coffee. Dear lord, all those things were so amazingly nice. And now I am still very quite sleepy. Back to bed, for me.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Two hours later**

I ventured out into the open, and down the hall to go greet the kitchen staff and plead for food. They all seemed happy enough to see me, and gave me lunch without any complaints. I thanked them and went to curl up on the couch and watch whatever shitty sport was on.

About fifteen minutes later, Kankuro came in.

"Sorano!"

My head snapped up. "Kankuro! Aww! Good to see you, you haven't changed a bit, look at you! Have you lost weight? You look great!"

We both laugh, and he sits down, not even complaining about not getting the good chair. "So, how was captivity?"

"It wasn't so bad. There really wasn't much of a difference, except there I didn't get to shower as much… But there was room service!" I pause. "They weren't really friendly though." Well, half were, half weren't. One was way _too_ friendly. "And one of them kept not feeding me. God knows why, he'd just walk down the stairs and then back up again." I scowl. "What assholes."

Kankuro laughed. "You don't really seem bothered by it all."

I shake my head. "It's driving Gaara crazy. I should be in a crying shocked mess. But how can I be when I just walked out and caught the bus here?"

"So what happened to your face?"

"Ohhh, that was actually my fault I think…" I grin sheepishly.

Kankuro sighed, exasperated. "Of course it would be." He frowned. 'It's a big one."

"Really?" I say, frowning back at him.

"Yeah… haven't you looked at yourself?"

"Nope, not really." I shrugged.

"Okay, then." Kankuro's higher-then-normal voice and raised eyebrow look made me too curious, I glared at him and went to find a bathroom.

Wow. I never really noticed. Or thought. The scar was big, I hoped it'd heal, but I had this weird feeling it wouldn't. It ran along the side of my face, vertical, from my eyebrow, down to my mid-cheek. The stitches looked as if they'd have to come out soon, too. The bruises I was pretty sure I had had faded, though. I glared at the scar. It pulled a bit of the end of my eyebrow down. Damnit, thanks for all that added attractiveness.

When I returned, Kankuro had stolen my chair. I gave him the glaring of a lifetime, and then sat on him. After seeing what I'd have to deal with for the next seventy years thanks to Kisame (not blaming Deidara, I don't really remember who did it, but I bet it was Kisame), I was in no mood to have my chair stolen.

"Wow. I never knew somebody's thighs could be so big I could sit on them without any trouble." And I crossed my legs, and leaned back. "Serious, Kankuro, you should think of becoming a donor, you could feed at least half of the starving kids in the Land-of-Waves with these babies." I pat his thighs appreciatively.

Kankuro called me something nasty, and then threw me off, I laughed. "It's good to be back, though."

Kankuro just grumbled something about his thighs being a normal width.

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**HelloHello! Gald you're back, Acdcge! **

**THANKS EVERYBODY FOR THE REVEIWS! :D thankyouthankyouthankyou. **

**And guess what? I DON'T' HAVE TO SLEEP IN THE LAUNDRY ANYMORE! :D, btw, it worried me how many of you actually said you've slept in a laundry with a calf before, I kinda imagined I would be the nearly-only one subjected to that torture. **

**Oh well, you guys are weird too. Which is good. :)**


	36. Death Penalty

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**Chapter Thirty-Six: **

_Until you make peace with who you are, you'll never be content with what you have.__ - __Doris Mortman_

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**8:20 **

Weird, Gaara hasn't come in yet. I'd've thought he'd be here early. He said he'd be back early when he left… I've been avoiding the crazy doctors coming to visit by pretending to sleep. They want to ask more really annoying questions, and if they stick another needle in my arm, I swear heads'll go flying. I don't care if they want to question me, they'll just get annoyed they I won't tell them I was raped and abused, too. Why does everyone want to hear I was raped and abused for god's sake!?

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**9:01 **

Shitty. Shit. Shit shit.

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

**9:03 **

Okay, so, like an innocent person I wander off to go and demand Gaara comes in early. I run into Kankuro, who then tells me the good news.

Gaara caught them.

Well, Gaara didn't. But some people from the Guard did.

What _idiots_! How the hell could they let themselves be fucking _caught_!? Argh! They don't think they'll die. They probably just think they can buy themselves out. Noo, even if they offered millions, Gaara wouldn't miss the chance off seeing them cold and dead.

Shit.

"Sora, why are you so pale?" Kankuro asked when he had told me.

"He'll kill them," I'd answered simply.

"…Yes…," he answered slowly and then his eyes widened. "Fuck. You're an idiot Sora, just let them die. Seriously, do not get into this one."

"I can't, Kankuro! I _can't_."

"Why do you have to always become attached to the dangerous ones!?"

"Do you know who they are?"

"The people who kidnapped you?"

I was a little frantic, I shook my head and swallowed hard. "No, no, _who_ they are."

"No…"

"Remember Uchiha Itachi?"

Kankuro sat down hard on the couch. "Fuck."

"Exactly."

"I saw Gaara, Sora, he's madder then he's been in a very long time. There is no way you'll convince him the death penalty is a little harsh."

I felt angry, frustrated desperate tears pricking at my eyes, and I sat down next to Kankuro. "What the hell do I do?"

"You forget them."

"But I can't!"

"There is no reasoning with Gaara when he's like this."

"You think I don't know that?" I snapped back at him.

I felt like screaming, but knowing I would probably be sedated, I didn't. I scowled at the ground for a long, long time, and then return to my room, without any more words to Kankuro. I needed to think.

Okay. So here the situation. Gaara is going to kill several people who held me captive for about two weeks. These people gave me a really annoying scar, didn't let me shower, and coaxed me into infidelity.

And yet, I still want to save them from certain doom. What to do… I have no idea. They have to be here, I guess, since it's probably only been about an hour or so since they were caught. They'd be executed over at the main prison, which is about two hours away.

So, they basically have about a week to live. If they trial them here, then they're found guilty, then they'll be transported to the super-duper high-security crazy prison of hell. And then in that super-duper high-security crazy prison of hell they'll be giving some kind of lethal injection, to my knowledge.

Also, there is a very slim but very dangerous chance that Itachi might want to piss Gaara off in his final hours/minutes and tell him things that I'd rather he didn't know. So all in all, it's generally better that they all get let go.

Shit.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**About midnight, I think. **

When Gaara came in, I could tell Kankuro was right. There would be absolutely no reasoning with him today. Or tomorrow. Or possibly ever. But if I did this right, hopefully there wouldn't be a need to reason. I'd already decided that I'd have to act if I couldn't convince Gaara out of his murderous mood.

My head snapped up from reading the home lifestyle magazine the cleaners keep leaving in here, I think they are trying to persuade me into acceptable lady interests.

I smiled brightly, even if I was worried about Gaara executing several people I would now slightly call my friends, it was a natural reflex. "Afternoon, Gov'ner."

His eyes were over-bright, and his smile just a bit terrifying. "We caught them… We caught those bastards. They'll die. I promise you that, Sorano."

I frowned, trying hard to stop from screaming 'DON'T DO IT, FAR OUT FOR GODS SAKE JUST LET THEM GO!'. "They weren't mean to me, or anything terrible."

"I don't care. They took you from me," he said, and stepped closer so he could hold me face in between his hands. "And nobody can do that."

I leant up to eliminate the space between us and kiss him gently. "Think about this, though. Won't Akatsuki pay to get some of their best agents back? Suna really needs the funds, you've said it yourself." I knew Kankuro was right, reasoning wouldn't work, but, I wasn't going to not try.

He shook his head. "Every time, Sora, every time, these fuckers are caught," in everything he said, there was this underlying touch of very frantic yet calm insanity. "Their asshole of a leader buys them out of jail. They aren't worried at all about dying, but they don't know I won't take the money. I want to see the look on their face when they really realize they're going to die."

Shitshitshit. Okay, so this didn't really come as a huge shock to me, seeing as Gaara has said more insane things… I think. Anyway, also I kind of expected it. But it was still annoying to find there wasn't an easy way to break some of the worlds most wanted criminals out of jail.

He continued. "Infact…," he paused, to look me in the eyes excitedly. "Tomorrow. They'll go to the high-security prison tomorrow. There they can die."

"What!?" Now this was a shock. I'd expected at least five days beforehand. "What!? What about a trial!?" thank god Gaara was too immersed in his death plans to notice my panic.

"I'm the Kazekage," he paused. "I can override the trial and pronounce them guilty." The crazed touch of excitement behind every word that condemned them to death made me want to shiver.

"What kind of crazy country let's there leader do that!?" It was out of my mouth before I'd really thought about it.

Gaara laughed in a nuts kinda way. "Suna is a messed place. I've told you that."

This made my head spin. This ruined everything. I had tonight, and tonight only to somehow formulate a plan. Shittyshitshit. Fuckityfuck. My language has gotten about a billion times worse thanks to time spent with Kankuro.

I spent the rest of the night trying to calm myself down and look normal. But I figured, even if I didn't want these stupid murderers to die, I'd be a little crazy anyway. The idea of people dying really didn't go well with me.

I guess he noticed my appalled state of mind anyway, because he suddenly was more serious when he told me "They have to die, Sorano. For me, they have to die. For all the other people they fucked with, they have to die."

The term 'fucked with' made me wince. Sure, Gaara _did_ have a right to kill them... he really just didn't know why at the moment, and never would. And I'm sure even with a normal, fair trial they'd be found guilty. But only with my testament. Which I'd have to give. But I would give it very badly, and stutter a bit, which not even Gaara could say's not natural for me to do under lots of pressure. But I wouldn't have to say anything, if Gaara just signed a few things and off they'd go. The stress was making me nuts, all the hair on my arms was standing on end and I was grinding me teeth in impatient worry. It wasn't… sadness, it was crazy. Literally, I felt like I could have torn my own hair out of Gaara wouldn't have been alerted pretty quickly that I was going nuts.

I had so much energy, it seemed to hurt, my upper-legs and finger joints and the back of my arms seemed to tingle with anticipated of something terrible. It was the exact opposite of being frozen in fear, I couldn't sit still in fear. My breathing and heart rate must have been through the roof.

I sat down, and nodded to myself. I felt like crying. I could not do this, how could I? All I could do was crawl around in vents and make friends with weird people. I must have looked like I was about to start crying, too, because Gaara sat down next to me.

"You didn't tell me it was Itachi Uchiha." He said after a while, I think he guessed who I was semi thinking about. He knew I wouldn't have liked the idea of a former school-colleague type person dying.

I went quiet. I hadn't sort-of on purpose. I was just avoiding any mention of him in general. "Sasuke's brother," I said softly.

"Did he recognize you?"

"Yes," I answered truthfully. "He did… but the others didn't know."

Gaara nodded. "You talked with him?"

I nodded back. "Gaara…," I was about to tell him, not about what I can never speak of ever again, but about Itachi being forced into killing his family. About saving Sasuke. But the words ran dry, I couldn't say it. Itachi wouldn't have wanted anybody to really know.

"Sorano?" Gaara's voice brought me back to reality.

"…He's not such a bad person, is all," I murmured. Gaara just shook his head, and I sighed, and leant against him, wrapping my arms around his waist. Itachi. How was I going to face him again? He'd let me go, so he'd never have to see my face again, and I his. I didn't want to tip anything over the edge, I didn't want to even risk seeing them again.

But I had too. What if I wanted to stay with them? What if my feet carried me in their direction, and I followed them? I love Gaara, but I hate being cooped up in this silly small- well, huge, building. I hate being expected to wear stupid clothing, I hate having ask permission (even though I never do) to do simple things that I should just be allowed to do. I love Gaara so much I'm willing to live in this stupid boring hellhole, but… what if the situation arises that I'm offered something a lot better then I have… I could just go now, and come back in a few years.

Sure, Gaara probably wouldn't want to talk to me then. Understandably.

'_But is it all you want?' _Tsnuade's words rung in my mind. And I knew the answer. No, it wasn't all I wanted. I wanted much, much more. And I knew I'd get it one day, when Gaara gave up being the Kazekage. But how long will that be? Either until he wants to leave, or until he gets assassinated. And I'd really quite rather the former.

I suddenly knew, that if they offered even any small sign of an invitation, I'd be screwed. I didn't know if I could refuse. I'm impulsive and stupid and there is a really, really slim chance they might just either want to kidnap me again, or Itachi'll do something really silly. And either way, I don't know if I'd put up much of a fight.

My thoughts were jumbled for the rest of the night. Gaara went on being scarily excited about executing various people, and eventually, at about midnight, I snapped. I needed something to remind me why I was staying here, Gaara rested with his eyes closed, and arms wrapped around my waist. I turned and his eyes opened, I'd known he was awake anyway.

"Gaara," I breathed softly.

"Mm?"

"Tell me you love me," I murmured. There was something in my eyes, in the slightly desperate hold I had of his hands, of way my voice was a touch shakey. He knew something in what he would say next would affect me, or both of us in some way.

"Sora," he paused, and then surveyed me again. "I…," more pauses. This wasn't really helping my case, I lean down a bit and kiss his shoulder, waiting. I closed my eyes.

The silence was stifling, fear grasped me, this might just make it worse if he couldn't just say it. I'd risked quite a lot on this. More silence. It was insufferable, and then he ran out of waiting-silence, it became tight silence, it closed around me and made the stress and worry worse, I bit down on my lip to stop me from saying something stupid.

Then suddenly he seemed to be sure of something. "I love you." He whispered.

The silence seemed to melt away, the choking silence that seemed to drain the air of oxygen retreated to wait for another moment to pounce. I smiled so brightly at him I think I could have blinded the sun, if it was out. I kissed him for a while, but then eventually pretended to get sleepy. Well, I really did get sleepy. But I needed him to fall asleep. Which would take a long time, knowing Gaara.

So I sat there and pinched myself and lay on my arm so I was too uncomfortable to fall asleep. It felt like years until I hear Gaara's breathing relax and become more regular. I stiffen slightly, and roll over, so his arms aren't around me. I lay there for quite some time, until I'm sure he's in a deep enough sleep for me to slip away. I roll off the edge of the bed and land as quietly as I can.

For a fleeting, terrifying moment, the full realization of the fact I was about to break four very wanted criminals out of the dungeons or wherever and had absolutely no idea how hit me. I felt like just crawling back into bed, and telling myself they were gonna die someday anyway. I could just slip back into Gaara's arms and say I needed to use the bathroom, and sleep in bliss because Gaara loves me. But maybe, if he hadn't said that, I wouldn't have gone. But because he did, I was brave. And I couldn't let them die. I should have gone back to bed and slept peacefully.

But I didn't.

Instead, I wrote this. And I am running out of time, I have a small plan. So here it goes. If you don't hear from me ever again, it means I got caught and got the electric chair with them.

Damnit.

p.s. Gaara, if you find this, I love you. It's just these people are my friends. Sort of. I'd just feel bad if they all died, is all.

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**Hellohellohello! HOW WAS EVERYBODY'S CHRISTMAS? Christmas, to me, is just made up of very very narrowly avoided (or sometimes not) disasters. Anyway, I'm sure we all had more then our fair share of narrowly avoided disasters, yes? Having family in practically one room is always risky. **

**Thankyou LOTS for reading! I LOVE YOU GUYS VERY VERY VERY VERY MUCH! :D **

**Love, to-love-is-to-lie. **


	37. The Great Escape

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**Chapter Thirty-Seven: **

_About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.  
- __Herbert Hoover_

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**Monday** **2/12/18 – 8:00 am. **

I had quickly grabbed the screw-driver I'd hidden in the bedside table, and the worst of the flashlights, seeing as I didn't want the huge bright one. I'd jumped on several stack chairs, and then into the vent. It was dark, and with every crawling step I took, I wished I would just be sane, turn around and go back to bed. I was scared shitless, more scared then I'd been in a very long time, mainly because if I failed, four lives would go down with me. I'd never been a reliable type, well… I had. But not on this kind of level. Not that they knew, or anything. They probably weren't even scared, they didn't know that there would be no time-buying trail, there would be absolutely nothing.

And I also didn't know where to go. Gaara had come from the direction of the 'up' lift, so I assumed they're down the bottom. I've been down there once. And that was at a break-neck speed and I was pretty sure I was going to die. I only knew one way down there, and I had this weird feeling it would hurt.

When I saw the reflective tape, and my note to the senator with the taste for adventure, I stopped, and looked down. Endless blackness stared back at me. I gulped, and before I could do anything too drastic like burst into tears, I slid down, slowly, easing into the down vent. I braced my back against the wall so I wouldn't fall, and walked down, screwdriver in between my teeth, and flashlight resting on my stomach.

My hands became slippery pretty quickly, and my breathing rapid. I tried my best to be silent, but eventually when my hands and feet started to slip every so-often, I couldn't hold back a terrified bit-louder-then-squeak.

The journey was long, and I only had a few hours, but eventually I found them, thank god I was right in thinking they were on the underground floor. I was so lucky, now I think about it, I could have so easily just gotten lost.

I had found my way to the bottom floor, after slipping a few metres above, and then being very lucky to hit the bottom pretty quickly. They don't bother posting guards down here, I know that. There are no windows, no anything. Only vents, which people seem to underestimate.

I will thank God every day from now until forever that the Kazekage's Offices aren't meant to be a prison, and so things aren't really equipped for stopping people trying to break people out.

I crawled over the vent, and looked down. I saw three heads, one red, dark, and one with that underlying hint of blue. No blonde… Deidara must have got away. I breathed a small sigh of relief, at least the nice one will go on to live. If I fail, it's only the mean ones that go down with me.

Were there security cameras? I didn't know. So I crawled back one, unscrewed the vent, and looked down. I saw one, it was facing away from me, so I swung myself a couple of times, grabbed a firm hold, and ignored the feeling of blood rushing to my head as I was upside-down, and then tugged, pulling on the camera with my body weight, my legs slipped from the vent, and I came down with it. The three captive's heads snapped up, and looked in my direction, eyes wide.

I smiled tentatively. "On a scale of one to ten, how little did you expect this to be me?" I say, inspecting the camera to make sure it was off, and then snapping bits of it in half, just to be sure.

"About a three and a half," Itachi murmured, I could tell he thought I was probably the last person he really needed to see right about know. But oh, how wrong he was.

I smiled at him, and then turned to Sasori and Bubbles. "Miss me, guys?"

"Come to gloat, now?" Kisame growled. I grinned in response, and held up my screwdriver triumphantly.

"No, way better, I've come to break you out."

They all laughed at this, some in a mocking way, others just laughing. I glared back angrily. "Fine… if you don't need my help… but let me warn you. Gaara's not accepting bribes… and there will be no trial."

They stopped laughing. "What?" Kisame asked.

"Crazy Suna thing, apparently. Gaara can pronounce you guys guilty without a trial." I said this lightly, swinging my screw-driver absent-mindedly.

"Shit." They muttered.

I wave the screwdriver invitingly. "Need help, now?"

They glare. "Why the hell are you letting us out?"

I shrug. "You guys weren't so bad." I pause. "And…," They all give me a bland 'just spit it out, and then let us out' stare, I grin back. "And I have a favor to ask, y'know." My eyes met with Itachi's. Seriously, he stared back, warning me not to say anything dumb, that he'll regret later. I grin back.

Sasori and Bubbles give me dirty, hate-filled looks that read 'just say it, already.'

"Itachi, I know your brother," I said, like I was expecting an impact. Here go my acting skills. I hoped he realized I was trying to play this out like we'd never spoken before.

Thank god for our wonderful silent conversations. He got the gist. "Hm?"

"Sasuke?"

"Yes…?"

"I know him, quite well, actually." The others looked from me to Itachi once, and then settled back into their seats, as if they'd lost all hope of being broken out. "And I think you've really screwed up his life."

"Good for me," Itachi muttered.

I become serious, my acting turning into the actual request. "You really have, and he's just getting over it all. I'm going to ask you something you must promise. I'll take your word, but only if you mean it."

"What?"

"You must never see Sasuke again," I paused. "No, you must never, ever effect Sasuke's life, in any way, every again. You see him, you turn around. He approaches you, you run away. You will not have any impact on his life from here to when you die. Which may, or may not be tomorrow." I give him a significant look. He probably knew I wouldn't leave them in here to die, but the others didn't, and I'd go back for at least fifteen minutes, so if he isn't either willing to agree, or dead by the time I come back, then I just let them go and give him a guilt trip along the way.

Itachi stared back at me for a long while, I met his gaze, unwavering. He nodded slightly once, and this was more then a sworn oath. I knew he'd keep his word… or not-word. I nodded back slightly, and then nodded more obviously. I think he'll keep his word. I think he'd gone over all possibilities, and he knew he'd probably be sacrificed if he didn't agree. I couldn't trust him, of course, but for some weird, unknown reason, I did.

"Okay then! Let's get this show on the road…. Uh…" I suddenly realized I'd gotten out of a vent that was now about two meters too high for me to reach. "Anyone laughs, they get left behind." I warned, and went to get something to stand on. I could have sworn I heard a muffled chuckled, I turned to scowl in their direction, and then scooted up into the vent, and swung back down. I'd gotten quite good at hanging upside-down for large amounts of time by now, I picked up the back of the chair and threw it across the ground, to my luck, it landed upright in the general space it was before. I placed the vent cover back, and moved onto the next opening above their cage, and unscrewed the vent, and put it to the side.

"Hop in," I commanded. "And don't try anything dumb, you'll still need me to show you out, otherwise you guys'll just get lost."

"This is so wrong… Why the hell are you doing this!?" Kisame asked angrily. He would have probably found the idea of death easier to deal with then the fact I was helping them.

"I don't see your problem, Bubbles, why are you so angry that I'm saving your god-damned lives!?"

He just called me nasty things under his breath, and then gave Sasori a leg-up so he could get in. I shuffled back, as they managed somehow to get into the vent with about a thousand times more grace then I ever have. I scowl at them. Next was Itachi, and then somehow Kisame managed to haul himself up with only his upper-arm strength. Something I had a feeling I'd never be able to do. I pass the vent cover and the screwdriver along and get Kisame to put it back on.

I tried to hold my breath, I really did. But Itachi's smell was like Sasuke's, but better, and no matter how little I breathed, I still seemed to smell it. I sighed, finally giving in and just hoping Itachi would be as far away as possible. "Follow," I tell them. "Now, we may have a small problem… I don't really know the way around these parts…," I turned and grinned at them apologetically, they scowled at me, they all looked really ridiculous, squished in the small space of the vent that I found luxurious. "And the way I came down won't really work for up."

"Why not?" Kisame snapped.

"Shh, shh, fishy," I said in a mock-calming voice. "Because, the way I came down was straight down. It'll be hell. And people will be waking soon, so we have to be careful." My voice dropped even lower.

They, for once, did something intelligent and decided to just listen and follow me. "We only have to go up one floor. So we have to make sure we don't go too far." I said, mainly to myself.

I could tell they all probably wanted to rip my legs off. Even Itachi, probably. They were all-mighty captors, I got the impression (especially from Kisame) that they really, really, really didn't like me helping them out. I knew I could just drop down here, and leave them in this vent to wander around until they either found their way out of starved. They probably knew this too.

We crawled for a while in silence, before eventually I stopped, and sat up, to all of their surprise, I shun my flashlight up, and knelt down to smile at them. "Up we goo!"

I crawled up, into the tube going up, thankgod it was a small one because it would have been embarrassing to ask for a leg-up. I scrambled over onto the horizontal-running vent and looked around. "Hmm…," I paused. "I'd say left, yes? I always liked left better." They all give me a very worried look. It suddenly occurred to them that maybe lethal injection would be a better way to go rather then being lost in a venting system.

So it continued like that for some time, I nearly fell in the big hole once, and told them to remind me to put some more reflective tape along there. They didn't really reply, but I didn't mind.

Eventually, I knew where we'd go. I switched my flashlight off, and went up one more level, I knew where we were. It was still dark outside, I guessed about three in the morning. I unscrewed the vent cover and then jumped out, barely avoiding landing in some garbage. I look around, and then motion for them to come out.

"I cannot believe you." Kisame just grumbled, and then stormed off, I smiled and waved to him. Sasori followed pretty close behind, shooting me a dirty look too.

"Such lovely young men," I said to myself, and then turned and nearly ran into Itachi. My breath caught.

_Don't ask, don't ask, don't ask_. I mutter silently to myself. _Don't you dare suggest I come with you. If you do, I'll rip your throat out. _I think somehow, he got the message.

He just smirked, and I made the mistake of looking into his eyes. I glared for a bit, and then laughed slightly.

"Remember, now I've saved your ass twice. Once now, and once sometime in the next five years." I grin, and then become serious. "I will track you down, and kill you myself if you ever have anything to do with your brother ever again." I scowled at him in warning. "Don't put it past me."

"I wouldn't dare," he smirked at me, and for once, I smirked back.

"'Was nice knowing you, Itachi." I mock curtsey.

"I really wish I could say the same," he said dryly.

I almost laugh. "Me too," My smirk didn't really last long, it had turned itself into a genuine smile. "G'bye." I said softly. He smiled slightly, and then turned. And then stopped, I scowl at his back. _Don't you dare_, I thought to myself angrily. "Keep walking, mister."

I could have sworn I heard a faint chuckle. But it could have just been my imagination.

And then he turned to go, I ignored the throbbing in my chest and did the one thing that I knew worked every time. It seemed easier, to know he got the harder job, I should have listened to Sasuke a long, long time ago. Walking away is always harder then standing still.

I closed my eyes, and turned around. I waited there for a long while, I wasn't going to risk turning around and seeing him again. Somehow I knew I wouldn't see Itachi ever again – which was probably a good thing, too. But my time away from the Kazekage's Offices had made me realize something very important.

I wanted more then what I had. And someday, Gaara and I would move away from Suna, and I would finish University and everything would be perfect. The morning sun started to rise, and I smiled as I squinted into the distance, where somewhere Itachi, Kisame and Sasori where escaping.

I realized Gaara would be waking soon, I scrambled back into the vent, and made my way up and up until I reached the fourth floor, I ignored the slight sadness in my chest at seeing them leave. Sure, I was glad to see Bubbles go, but I'd miss the fish jokes.

And so I made my way back to my room, where I slid out of the vent, fit the cover on snugly, and put the screwdriver back in the draw. I was shaking slightly, I couldn't really believe what I'd just done. Maybe it was a good thing, it'd probably show Suna that they really needed a better system.

I wouldn't tell Gaara, I wouldn't tell anybody. It was weird, it seems all these secrets of my own are accumulating. Letting Sasuke walk away, Itachi in general…

I snuggled down into the covers of my bed, and ran my hand over Gaara's cheek. One day we'd find something better then this…

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

**HelooehlooehelloeheleooelleleahheleloHELLOhellohelealoohehoeleelelloooooo. **

**How are youuu!? HAPPY NEW YEARS! Whata all you guys doin? Knowing me, I will probably be at home (again) watching the top 100 songs of 2008 (again, except last year it was 07) on channel [V] and being very disappointed when I find out who won. Last year it was SILVERCHAIR with Straight Lines. I went nuts, if that was the bloody best song of 2007, 2007 should be very, very ashamed of itself. **

**Anyway, HAVE A GREAT NYE/NY'S. **

**Love, to-love. **

**P.S. I'm going up to ze wonderful capital of Australia for a week soon, so don't stress if I don't update, I haven't abandoned anyone, I'm just on holiday :P. **


	38. Aftermath

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Chapter Thirty-Eight:**

_But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown. - Carl Sagan_

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Midday **

Of course, he was angry. He was very angry. I think a few guards got fired, I felt a little bad. I think the people running the security camera's got a beating, too. I hadn't seen him this angry in a very long, long time, I sat next to him and held his hand, half because I wanted to calm him down, and half because it would probably stop him throwing a chair at the poor captain of the guards.

Strangely, for once, I _didn't_ feel bad. I followed him around and gave the people 'responsible' sympathizing looks.

I didn't really have a choice, though. Gaara said he wouldn't let me out of his sight, which really, I was fine with. I love spending time with him, also, I think it was necessary for me to give the poor guards some credit.

Also, my acting skills were all used up, so whenever somebody mentioned the 'incident' or looked at me, I kind of went white. I hope they just think I'm scared of getting caught again. If they realize it was me, I am so very, very screwed. I was jumpy all day, and I think Gaara noticed, after a guard walked in and said a little too loudly, his report. I dropped my (thankfully empty) coffee mug and it shattered.

Gaara sat me down after that. "Sora, why the hell are you so jumpy?" oh dear. My head spun, I had to tell him something that sounded reasonable, but also something that didn't involve me really breaking them out.

I was never a good liar. I go crimson, and then say the first thing that pops into my head. "What if…," I paused. "Well, I think they got out because of me."

Gaara just gave me a dry look. "Sure," he muttered.

"I may have mentioned vents…," I say sheepishly, thanking god for this strange stroke of brilliance.

His head his the desk with a sound that was practically pure exasperation. I grin at him apologetically, and run my fingers through his hair. "Will coffee help?"

"Vents… ventsventsvents…," he muttered. "Why _vents_?"

"You sound crazy," I paused. "I think coffee, yes?"  
So I made two mugs of coffee, came back, and he still hadn't moved. I think he was on the verge of ordering a national ban on ventilation systems. I sigh and sit next to him. "Are you angry?" I asked, going back to playing with his hair.

"Yes," came the muffled reply. But I didn't hear much anger to support the theory. I laughed, suddenly I was so appreciative I could be the one to see this side of the stoic, crazy, almost always angry Kazekage.

After a while I coaxed him into drinking his coffee, and he did look better after I got some caffeine into him.

"I'll get them again," he resolved. "And then, I swear, they will be placed in an air-tight room until we draw up the injection, or they just suffocate." He said this last part with a kind of sick conviction. I tried to avoid the conclusion that he liked the idea.

I nod in what I hope is a calming manner, not a worried one. "I'm sure you will." I knew he wouldn't. They were high-class criminals. They wouldn't get caught twice… I really, really hope. I wouldn't be able to help them a second time, one reason being the air-tight room plan, and another being the fact I think two rescues would push Kisame to the limit, and one fish joke (which, inevitably, I would crack) would push him over the edge. And I would be stuck in a wheelchair.

I was snapped out of my thoughts by a fist hitting the table. "I was _so close_!" Gaara growled.

I suppressed a sigh, he'd been doing this all day. Calm then crazy, even-tempered and then in huge rages. I walked around the table to sit on his lap, and uncurl the clenched fist so I could twine our fingers together. I didn't want him getting into another crazy angry not-emotional state. He'd spent nearly all morning on the verge of breaking everything he touched.

"I love you," I said simply. "Even if you do have this raging desire to kill most people," I was half joking.

Gaara, obviously, while I had been thinking about trying to break them out a second time, had, ironically, been thinking about catching them a second time. I kiss the back of his hand and smile at him.

He sighs, and looks at me, it was a strange look, one that seemed to see through me and sift through everything I've ever done or ever wanted. Ninety percent of that probably would have been him, or been related to him. But I was afraid of the ten percent that wasn't.

I leaned up and kissed him, smiling. "And the weird thing about all of this is I really don't care."

Silently, he leant down and pressed his lips to mine, also in the same movement he picked me up and then turned towards our bedroom.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Wednesday 4/12/18**

Yesterday nearly the same thing happened, I was still very jumpy, to Gaara's possible suspicion. I once again, avoided the people who were desperate to question me to bits, the escape of the prisoners I'd've thought would buy me some time, y'know. But no, they still knocked and asked and annoyed until I thought I'd go nuts.

I didn't feel like being in a room with a whole lot of people who would just get more angry at me for not being abused. Urgh, everybody just wants me to be abused.

Kankuro was still a little peeved at me for saying his thighs had enough meat on them to end hunger in Land-of-Waves, but, y'know, it was a good call. He's just jealous he didn't think of it.

Not like it'd have much mileage with me, seeing as I'm tiny all over. I'd probably feed half a starving kid, and that's only if I tried really hard.

Today I just woke up, and Gaara was already gone. I want to get breakfast, but then the doctors will ambush me.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**4:00pm **

Yeah, I was right. They did, I was caught out as I was getting my bacon and eggs (I could only bring myself to eat half of the bacon, seeing as the memory of the scalding bacon oil was still fresh in my mind) and sitting down to eat, and then only about ten minutes into my meal, they tapped me on the shoulder, said some polite words and then practically dragged me to their little investigation room.

I was right, they just wanted to hear I was abused and beaten, too. It's really starting to get on my nerves, nobody is glad I'm back, they just all want to hear about my tragic story. And the bastards didn't even have the decency to give the whole thing a little drama, instead of the lone chair in the centre of a concrete room, y'know, good ol' investigation style, the silly man had a large carpeted room with a desk, computer and a long couch with a recliner in front of it. He sat in the recliner, I got the couch, and scowled at him.

"Miss Takaski, would you like to tell me about the last two weeks?" He asked politely.

I had a feeling I didn't have a choice, so I did. "Well, I got up on… what? Monday? No… Wednesday! Anyway, got kidnapped, threw myself at a small table-,"

"Suicide?" was the immediate question.

I blinked at him in confusion. "Noooo… not really, I'm just clumsy," I tell him hesitantly. "Anyway," I begin slowly. "Knocked myself out _accidentally_ and then woke up in a cage," I pause to think for a while. "It was a pretty nice cage, y'know, as far as cages go. Big, had a couch. Water dispenser, too. And a toilet cubicle." And so my story continued, for a while, until he held up a hand for me to stop.

"You have to _talk_ about these things, Miss Takaski," he said, in a sickly sweet friendly way. I grimace at him. "Just let it all out," he said again, in that calming annoying voice, I scowl at him, and he motioned for me to continue.

"I hate to say this, but that's the truth," I informed him angrily. I knew it! He just wanted to listen to me say how traumatized I am. Only sadists become crazy psychiatrist-investigators. "No abuse."

He looked momentarily skeptical, before the calming 'yes, she must just be stupid, and not know what abuse is,' face came out again. I scowl at him. "Miss Ta-,"

"Call me Sorano, and then listen," I face him and tell him very slowly. "I. Was. Not. Abused. In. Any. Way." I paused, and re-thought that last sentence. "Wait, okay, he did take my food away once. But otherwise, they were perfectly nice people."

He looked smug again, like he knew something I didn't. I scowl more, getting angrier as the time went on. "Do you want me to finish my story, then?" I asked impatiently.

He nodded, and I continued, on the third time he stopped me to say 'explain' (aka, tell me they abused you) I snapped. I stood quickly, threw a dirty look and stomped over to the door, and then whirled around to face him again.

"I was no abused! I don't know what all you people have with wanting to hear me terrible tragic story! Arrghh! Do you people get off on that kinda thing?" I look at him in disgust, I was too angry to find this funny. "Serious, that's just wrong," I muttered a few more nasty things under my breath, and then go to leave.

Two guards blocked my way, I whirled around again. "I hate to say this, but you're abusing me more then they did. Now let me out!" I commanded. "Move!" I ordered the guards. They looked uncomfortable, and shifted, their eyes going easily over my head, probably to meet with the crazy investigator-psychiatrist, I take it he nodded, because they stepped to the side, and I stomped out of the room and back up to the elevator.

I swear, can't anybody be kidnapped around this place and not come back beaten and pregnant? I stomped angrily all the way to the lounge room, where Kankuro was sitting and eating some sort of sausage roll, I sat down in the not-squishy chair and fumed silently for a while, before Kankuro sighed, and went "Awhhhh, what's wrong, diddums??"

I'd given him such a crazy hate-filled death glare, he shut up right away and continued eating his roll in silence.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Later-ish **

"Why does everybody in the known universe seem to want to hear that I was gang-raped and beaten, and then made to clean and scrub and cook and then perform exotic fan-dances and the such?" I scowl madly at my tea.

Gaara, still touchy about losing his kill, stiffened a bit at the mention of things related to Ataksuki, I probably shouldn't have brought it up, but I was way to angry. We both stared angrily and wallowed in our own self pity for a while, probably both sending out little death wishes for various people.

Here we are, Gaara's nuts, and I'm bitter. What a world we live in. I can't help but laugh at this, and Gaara moves his sulky glance to me, another snort of laughter forces it's way out, and eventually I laugh openly.

I pause only to share the joke. "Look at us," I laugh a bit more. "We're like those crazy old couples that used to live up my road and hate the world and shoot at the stray cats."  
He did laugh like I did, but his mouth twitched upwards.

I grin at him, and then stop and frown. "Hey, when's our wedding, Gaara?"

"About a month, I think. Around the new year."

I thought about this for a moment, then grimace. "Hot," I complained simply.

He inclined his head slightly. "I guess," he paused. "But it's not like we can help it."

I laughed again. "It's our wedding," I pointed out, and then stopped laughing. "Wow, shit, it's our wedding," I murmured. "That's scary.'

He only nodded in reply.

I grin impishly. "You'll have to at least look like you want to be there, you know."

He gave me a dry look. "You too."

My grin falls. "Damn," I muttered, and grumble for a while. "When will all this kidnapping business quiet down?"

"It's only been a few days, Sorano," he had that exasperated tone of voice going on. "If you could at least pretend to be traumatized for a few days they'd get over it quicker."

I scowl at him. "No. No, no, no, no. they need to learn that not all hostages come back beaten and pregnant."

"Not everyone can just walk out and catch the bus back home," he muttered.

I grinned widely. "No, I can escape a hostage situation in style."

He rolled his eyes, and muttered something about me being definitely insane. My grin widened.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Sometime I should be sleeping **

I can't sleep. And every time I do drift off, I wake up with a start because I'm dreaming of terrible, terrible things.

I wish I could just forget Itachi, forget all about Ataksuki. Maybe it would have been healthier for me if I had have been just been abused. I think I could forget that, with time. But something about this… _mess_ had it glued to my mind. It wasn't a bad feeling. That's what was so hard to make it go the hell away.

I think Gaara's awake. I know he's a light sleeper.

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

**Thursday 5/12/19 **

He was awake, but I pretended I didn't know, and just curled up and went to sleep. I didn't let him know I felt the hand that touched my cheek. I felt terrible for it, but I didn't feel like living then. Not in the emo way, just in the 'I wish time would stop so I could sort this whole thing out and not waste my life on it' kinda way.

I'm just flatly refusing to see press. I don't care, that's just the way it's going to be. Gaara's wonderful, and is giving them little details. I think he's just telling everyone I'm traumatized and maybe in fifteen years or so I can talk about it.

Good on 'im, I never would have thought of that. I swear, he's a genius. Anyway, I'm hiding out inside today, and hoping nobody decides to scale the building to ask me about how I was beaten and raped.

I have to go to the doctors soon, and get the stitches cut out of my face. Arrghh, I hate my scar. I don't want a huge scar like that, it's massive. And on my face, and all the kitchen staff now talk to my scar, not me. And I can't even say 'my face is up here' and saying 'my face is a little to the left, thanks' doesn't have the same effect.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Sometime later. **

Well, my face feels somewhat better without stitches. But when I had stitches, I always had this kind of small hope that it'd just be gone when they took them out. But no, scar is still there. And it's not even on my forehead, so I can't say I'm Harry Potter, and shout 'VOLDEMORT!' every time I see Kankuro. Also, it's not on my knee, so I can't even be one of those rocking-chair men who sit there and rock a bit and say 'rain's a-coming, meh knee's actin' up.'

Nothing interesting about side-of-face scars, especially huge ones that make me look permanently slightly concerned or confused, depending on what angle you see it at. It had to hit my eyebrow, didn't it?

I also got the nurse there to fix up my hair a bit, she protested, but I told her if she didn't do it, I would. Then she cut it, figuring it couldn't really get much worse. So now at least bit's of my hair don't hang in my face because there like two inches longer then the rest.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**4:00**

Very very quite bored. Already. I can't be bored, also, because then my mind wanders. And then I go nuts. I keep touching my scar. I don't like it. It feel's like somebody stitched prunes onto my temple-cheek-type-area.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**6:00pm **

Went to find Kankuro, for once he wasn't there, and didn't show up. I was amazed. Maybe he's actually working for a change.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**HELLOHELLOHELLO! BACK FROM HOLIDAY! I MISSED YOU ALL VERY MUCH! I really did, I felt terrible for leaving. **

**But I did have a wonderful Aussie adventure. Got very sunburnt, also. Caught Mudskippers and they swarmed all over my friends feet…. And then the yabbies came. It was all very hilarious. I started a diary myself. I stalked a could-be hot guy off my bus but found out he was wearing a rugby shirt and decided it defiantly wasn't worth it. So I went and got some tictacs instead. **

**AND OHEMGEE!!!! !!!!!!!! !!!!! I. FOUND. A. MINT. TICTAC. IN. MY. ORANGE. TICTAC. BOX. **

**I WAS OUTRAGED. I still am. And every tictac I ate from then on could be a possibly minty-invador into orange country. **

**Anyway, LOVE YOU. QUITE A LOT A LOT A LOT!!!!!! **

**Lovelovelovelovelove, **

**To-love. **

**P.s. to the anon. reviewer who offered to donate quotes, yes please! It saves me Google-Quoting all the time. I think I'm driving mother mad, though, I keep quote-dropping quotes into conversations all over the place. **

**:P **

**P.p.s. **

**Hahahah, that's crazy Lady-Gummy-Bears, because today I was waiting for a bus with this suitcase because I was returning home vis a vis bus, and I was tallying the cars that had people in them that gave me drity 'go home you pregnant teen slut' looks. **

**The total was 49. how sad. And the bus was late. And I got a little sunburnt. Anyway, I basically documented all of it in intense detail. :P and then there was this lady who I called Salmon-Jacket-Hawk-Eyes because she kept reading what I was writing over my shoulder and was wearing a terrifying Salmon-pink jacket. **

**Haha, I do love thee, Lady. **

**(how medieval am i? very, very very)**


	39. Invitations

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**Chapter Thirty-Nine: **

_Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? – Google pickup lines. (hahaha, I'm so lame) _

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Friday 6/12/19 **

Okay, so nothing has blown over. I went outside for about ten minutes today, and was nearly killed by people throwing verbal bombs all over the place. It turns out since I was kidnapped people seem to care whether I go outside or not, now. They never saw me before!

I think it was actually my fault, I asked them where I could find the nearest tourist giftshop. How should I know it was a god-damned journalist?! They all looked vaguely like normal people – they didn't even have the decency to wear one of those funny journalist hats with the feather-type thing in them!

After I'd collected my senses, I told them all being kidnapped wasn't actually that bad, and power-walked to the extreme back inside the building.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Midday **

My wedding is in a month. A month. My wedding, is in a month. Month is the time before my wedding.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

…

That would be thirty days, thirty days approximately before I will be getting married. Married in thirty days.

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

…**.**

That sounds like a terrible chick-flick. Ahhh. I mean, it doesn't change anything, really, at all. Does it? I'll just be Mrs. Instead of Miss. Which automatically makes me sound like, forty.

I'M NOT READY TO SOUND LIKE I'M FORTY.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

…

But I am ready to get married. Because I guess the only big thing is the Mrs, to me. Why am I so nervous? Sorano, get a hold of yourself! It's in a month. Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear.

Far out! It's just a wedding. Just a wedding. Just a wedding. Nothing to be worried about. Not at all. All I have to remember, is to say 'I do' at the right place, and then kiss him. Well, he'll kiss me. I hope.

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Saturday 7/12/18 **

Today nothing happened. I was too afraid to venture outside, for once. Sure, crazy assassins I can deal with. But members of the press scare me shitless. And the weird thing is, when I mentioned this to Gaara, he agreed.

"The worst assassins can do is kill you," he'd said simply. "God knows what the press can do."

I'd laughed and nodded in agreement. "True, true."

And so the afternoon was spent bad-mouthing various members of the press and looking around the room shiftily for some kind of hidden microphone until we both got too creeped out (of course Gaara didn't admit it, but he was) and I had to say really loudly we were joking and didn't mean any of it.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Sunday 8/12/18 **

At about two o'clock in the morning yesterday, I realized something. My wedding is in a month. And I have no guests. It was like a crazy sudden realization, I just woke up and muttered 'fuck, who the hell is coming to my wedding?' and off I went.

Sasukesakurakkakashishikamaruirukakimmimaro! I'm writing invitations now! Nownownow! Gaara did mention that they had fancy invites already printed, but I decided they'd just be shit and most likely have some kind of floral print on them, so I discarded the idea of going to get them (and it would involve talking to most likely the receptionist, who is still angry for wasting all her paper that time I was writing letters to Kimimaro) and just wrote them myself. I am very tired. Mainly because I've been up since two. So has Gaara. Because he hardly sleeps anyway, the freak.

_Dear Sakura + Shikamaru _

_I know it's been a while and all, and you might have heard or you might not have, but if you have you know why I haven't written to you earlier. Which I would have, eventually. If you haven't, I was rudely taken away for a fortnight or so, I had a jolly good time though. I think I could tell a fish joke for every letter of the alphabet right about now. _

_Anyway, point being, I'm actually getting married. I know, that's weird. But the publicist organized it, so y'know. So yeah, you guys come along, yes? It'll be fun! I swear. Shikamaru, you have my permission to just stay in your room and not come out until it's all over. _

_Anyway, too much has happened. Too little ink in this pen and too little paper to write on (the receptionist will kill me) so I will elaborate on the fish-joke front when you are here in person. And other things. Not involving fish jokes. But they won't be as entertaining, hear me out now. _

_COME. PLEASE. Otherwise I'll be sad. Very sad. _

_Love, loveloveloveloveloveLOVE, _

_Sora. _

_P.s. uuhhh, I don't know how to say this, but I don't really know when it is. The wedding, I mean. So how about you show up around Christmas? Yes? We can have Christmas here! It'll be bloody hot too. Shall we say the 18__th__? I think my wedding is after Christmas… so we'll just play it by ear from then on out. So take a few weeks off. _

I knew Sakura'd freak about that ending P.S. section. She was probably counting down the days and minutes until her wedding. Shikamaru'll love it, though.

So I went on to write the invite to Kakashi + Iruka. I didn't know their address, so I'll just stick it in the envelope to Sakura + Shikamaru and hope they deliver it.

_To: _

_Kakakshiairukakakashiirukairuikakakashirirukakakashi. _

_Getting married. Don't really know when. Sorry. Come for Christmas? Ask Sakura + Shikamaru for the general plan. _

_Love, Sora. _

_P.s. you both have too many K's and I's in your names to run them together. _

_P.p.s Also_, _it's the school holidays, you have absolutely no excuse not to come. _

Couldn't be bothered to elaborate on that one. Now the hard part, Sasuke's. I paused with the pen over the page. I would address it to Sasuke, but include Naruto possibly in a P.s. note. I am still very angry at him, but I know it's childish to stay mad forever, especially when things have worked out so very well.

_Sassssssssssssssuke, _

_Hellohello. I bet you thought you'd never hear from me again, sorry, you don't get rid of my that easy. You have to go talk to Naruto if you want to really shake me off your tail. Tell the bugger this counts for him too, except all signs of affection. _

_Like this one, I'VE MISSSEDD YOUU. VERY VERY MUCH! _

_But I'll have time to embarrass you in public later. There are more pressing matters, I need your help. You see, I happened to have gotten myself into a fix. I am engaged. So mind swinging by to see it all through? I don't really know the date, you see. So try for the 18__th__ or somewhere around that. I'm hoping we can have Christmas here. _

_Sasuke, I know you don't have plans. Don't even try it. _

_Reply to address and/or phone number please. _

_Love, Sora. _

I didn't really care if I was harsh. Sasuke would probably just tell Naruto via words then let him read it. Mainly because he'd know that Naruto would sulk for weeks if he read it. I don't really care, I'll deal with him when he comes.

The last letter really made me stop and think, how to say it. What to say. I wanted him there, and I knew that if it was, let's say, Gaara's wedding to another shitty person (let's imagine it's the receptionist) and even though I had this crazy hate for the receptionist I'd still come to his wedding. Just to see him again.

Not that I think Kimimaro's feelings for me are that strong though, in the romantic sense. So I am going to send him an invite, and the least he can do is call me, and at least I'll know how he's been faring.

_Dear Kimimaro, _

_Helllohellohello! I know I should have written earlier, but I couldn't think of something to say, for once. I probably should've just written anyway, about anything. weather, kidnappers, general things. But I didn't, and I'm sorry. But now we'll have a chance to catch up! I seem to have somehow gotten myself into a weird situation and now I'm getting married. I really don't know when or where or who- wait, I do know who. Haha! Points to me! _

_Anyway, you can meet Sakura and Shikamaru, and Kakashi and Iruka! Sasuke and Naruto will be there, I figured I better patch it up with Naruto. Well, actually, give him the chance to patch it up with me. Which he better well do, otherwise I may have to throw him off my balcony. _

_They are arriving around the 18__th__ for Christmas. Most of them have time off, Kakashi + Iruka being teachers, they have great holidays, and the others are still students, so Xmas holidays count for them. _

_I miss you a lot. Few days have gone past when I haven't thought about you, honest. And one of those I'm pretty sure I was stuck in a cage, unconscious. So that doesn't count. I'll explain later. Not raped or abused. _

_Love you, and miss you! _

_Love, Sorano. _

_P.s. ring me! I can elaborate, ummm, hopefully. May or may not be able to elaborate. But I still want to speak to you as soon as possible! I miss you. _

………………………………………………………………………………………..

**Hellohellohello! **

**Review because I love you. And you love me. And everybody loves everybody. Joyjoyjoyjoyjoyjoyjoy. **

**Man, I'm tired. **

**Loveyou!**


	40. RSVP

………………………………………………………………………………………..

**Chapter Forty: **

_To make an apple pie from scratch you must first invent the universe – Carl Sagan _

………………………………………………………………………………………..

**Monday 9/12/18 **

Will they write, or call? I did put the direct number on the back of the envelope, because if I gave them the receptionist's number she would kill me. She has a short temper that one, but I respect her.

Dear lord. I sent it as 'urgent'. Is urgent over night or ASAP? Ahhh! Have they got it? Will I look desperate if I ring them, ask if they received my letter, and then once I have an answer hang up?

I asked Gaara this, and he said yes.

I scowl at him, and then sighed. "But wouldn't it not be desperate because that's just how I always sound?"

He gave me this dry 'just because you sound desperate 24/7 doesn't mean you won't sound any _less_ desperate' kinda look.

I just sighed, and continued to fidget about the place, wondering if the phone would ring any moment now.

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Tuesday 10/12/18 **

I can't take this! I MAY EXPLODE. IT IS BEFORE SIX IN THE MORNING. WHEN WILL THEY CALL!?!?!?! AHHHHHHHHH!

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

**Few moments later **

Hardly slept all night. Going NUTS. Ahhhh. Ahhhh. Ahhhh. Gaara is giving me worried looks.

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Midday **

I need to use the bathroom. But what if the phone rings while I shower? Ahh!

……………………………………………………………………………………………

**1:00am **

Haha! I am brilliant, yeah? (Far out! I need to stop adding 'yeah's to end of sentence-type things. Go. Away. Deidara!) I may or may not have asked for a walkie talkie and then stolen one and then been giving one anyway so I can monitor the phone at all times.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**After shower **

Shower was terrible. I kept on imagining I heard the phone ringing, and running out of the shower like a crazy soaped-up naked woman. Now the carpet has suds on it (which I am mopping up now) and I still have shampoo in my nose/eyes.

Ahhhhhh. Gaara said before he left that I need to calm down, because we're a couple of hours ahead of them time-wise, and also, any decent person would be at work right about now, so they will most likely call sometime after four.

I hate Gaara when he's reasonable.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

**Moments later. **

Okay, I never hate Gaara. Let me re-phrase that.

I hate reasonable when he's Gaara.

There we go. Much better.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**4:00**

Carrying Walkie-Talkie around at all times.

That is all.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**4:15**

Couldn't be bothered to carry walkie talkie around at all times, and if I had it around my wrist for too long it cuts off blood circulation. So I am a genius, and have taped the walkie-talkie around my ear/head so the speaker is pressed to my ear, now even if I fall fast asleep there is no way I'll miss that call.

Annnd! HAHA! I knew what you were thinking! It'll be really loud! But no! I have turned the volume down and taped it too! Haha! Noo, Mr. walkie-talkie, not this time!

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**5:00 **

Fuckfuckfuckityfuck! ARRGHHH. MY EAARRRRSSSS. THE HAIR AROUND MY EARRRSSS. ARRGHHHH. IT BURRNNNSSS. My ears are still ringing.

So, sure enough, the phone rang, and as I walking very briskly to pick it up, I was trying to undo the walkie-talkie from my face (it was starting to hurt my neck) at the same time. I was never a good multi-tasker, so I ended up accidentally pushing the volume button up and getting the full-blown inpact of a ringing phone blasted into my brain. It was the equivalent of at least 14 litres of alcohol all in one go, dead braincell-wise.

So, after the initial impact of having my brains shot out of my face, I immediately hit the floor, thinking there must be a bomb threat, and then the phone rang again. More agnoy in the brain-department. After picking up the other walkie-talkie, and throwing it to the other side of the apartment by sheer crazed 'I have no braincells left, FUCK YOU!' anger, I picked up the phone, and muttered.

"Sorry, I have a screaming walkie-talkie strapped to my face. Call back in about 3 minutes, please." And hung up. Sorry, who ever that was. I then attacked the stupid duct-tape I'd used to attach it to my face with a vengeance. It took half my eyebrow down with it, but I took it's volume button with me.

I don't know if the guard people ever even expected this back, I can give it back, if they want it. Well, I can give the volume button back... I do not care if they're life depends on that stupid fucking brain-cell destroying walkie-talkie, but right now, it is outside the Kazekage's Offices in little smashed bits.

In other words, I took to it with the TV remote, and then poured the boiling water I was making for my cup of tea on it and then jumped on it a couple of times and then threw it over the side of the building. Bon Voyage.

Then, I sat down, and picked up the now ringing phone and in a breathless voice panted "Sorano…" pant pant. "Here."

I hear somebody call into the background. "Yeah! She's still a little messed in the head!"

"Iruka, that's on speakerphone." Came the lazy reply from what I imagined to be the kitchen.

"It's okay! I covered the phone"! Came the irked reply.

"Covering the listening end doesn't usually doesn't really make much difference."

"Shit…," the Iruka in my mind was bright red. I laughed. "Oh. Um. Hello Sorano."

"Afternoon 'Ruka." I laughed again. "Good to hear from you!"

"I don't really think you're messed in the head-, I was just putting it in words so Kakashi would understand-,"

"Don't bring me into this!" Kakashi's voice could be heard from across the room.

I laughed. "It's okay, Iruka, I get so much abuse in general from Kankuro that 'a little messed in the head' is a really, lovely compliment by now."

"Oh, that's good then." I heard his sigh of relief. "Well, it's not good, I thought you wouldn't stand for that…"

"I don't," I answered simply, grinning. "He's still not really speaking to me because I told him that he should become an organ donor as his thighs alone would end starvation in the land-of-waves."

I hear Kakashi laugh in the background. "I taught Kankuro while he was here. God, he needs to be told that once in a while."

"Exactly. I'm doing the world a favour."

"Sorano, I'm very sorry… but I have to ask," he paused. "Why are you getting married?"

I knew why he was asking. It wasn't like me to get married, it wasn't like Gaara in the least to get married. It probably made no sense. "The publicist told us too," I said simply.

I heard Kakashi laugh again and I could practically hear Iruka's frowning. I interrupted him before he could tell me that I shouldn't get married before I really know and want it and the such.

"Seriously, 'Ruka, to me marriage doesn't make any difference in the least, married or not, I still love Gaara, married or not, I would still be here, married or not I live with him long enough and we have the same legal rights, married or not, nothing really makes a difference. And god knows why marriage would matter to _you_ guys." I added the last part dryly.

"She has a point, Iruka." Was Kakashi's input.

"I just want her to be happy," he said stiffly.

"I will be happy," I assure him. "Once we're out of this silly stupid city, I will be the happiest girl on earth."

Iruka sighed. "God knows when that will be," he murmered and then sighed again. "Oh well, so give us all the details. We have six weeks off over Christmas from the fifteenth."

"Well, my plan was you'd all come on the Eighteenth, stay for Christmas and then until the wedding is over. Which hopefully will be less then six weeks."

"…You really honestly don't know when your own wedding is, do you?" Iruka said with disbelief.

"I told you she was serious." Kakashi said idly.

"Well, you see it would mean asking the Publicist, and he doesn't like me 'coz I keep wearing touristy t-shirts underneath the Suna gear."

"Really?"

"Yeah, for a while they put me in a magazine and I almost commited suicide."

"That's weird."

I narrow my eyes. "What?"

"A new fad here is wearing 'I heart Konoha' shirts." Kakashi added in a mildly annoyed tone. "It's bloody stupid."

"You're messing with me, aren't you?"

"Uhh, no, Kakashi hates them."

"Firstly, they are much more comfortable then stupid constricto T-shirts, and secondly RIP THEM TO SHREDS, KAKASHI!"

"Uhh, Sorano-,"

"See you on the eighteenth, I've got to go. I have several media-related people to gun down." I think I said this with such convincing resolve they just muttered 'Uhh, bye, Sorano." And hung up. They'd probably resolve to ring later and find out where I live and the such.

I hate my life.

I hate magazines.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**HELLOHELLOHELLO! **

**HAPPY DAYS, HAPPY DAYS! **

**I am going to the movies, later. Then I am hiring another movie, because today is practically the hottest day in the history of the entire world. Ahhhh, I may melt into a little auburn-haired puddle. **

**Anyway, LOVE YOU. Quite A LOT!!!! :D **

**Love, to-love. **


	41. Deja Vu

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Chapter Forty-One: **

_He knows not where he's going, _

_For the ocean shall decide- _

_It's not the destination, _

_But the glory of the ride. _

_- Edward Monkton, 'Zen Dog'. _

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Few moments later **

I wish I hadn't thrown that walkie-talkie off the balcony. I want to go get lunch. Because I'm depressed and need lunch.

But I also need to monitor the phone.

I hate my life.

I hate magazines.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

…

I'm soo huuunnnggrrryyyyyyyy.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**6:10 **

The phone rang again, FINALLY, my stomach by then felt like it was going to explode from hunger. Or devour itself in a mad bid for sustenance.

I picked it up excitedly, even though I'd had possibly the worst day in history. My ears still had this strange feeling like they were filled with ringing jelly. Bell jelly? Noisy jelly, anyway.

"Sorano," I muttered.

"SOOORANNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" Sakura's voice instantly perked me up and I practically bounced out of my seat on the bed.

"SAAAKUURRAA! HOW ARE YOU? WHERE ARE YOU? WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? IT'S BEEN WAY TOO LONG!"

"I KNOW!"

"I'M GETTING MARRIED."

"AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHEN! SORANO, I COULD KILL YOU!"

"I KNOW! I FIGURED THAT!"

I heard Shikamaru's annoyed voice call from the back of the phone (well, room, in their case) "Stop SCREAMING!"

"Shhhshhhshhh!" Sakura hushed him, I laughed.

"Kakashi and Iruka rang earlier, we're planning for the 18th, and then you guys'd stay for Chrismas and the wedding, of course. I need you guys to get me through it. I still haven't learnt my lines!" I said this all very fast, I was way too excited to make much sense.

"Just say 'I do', okay?" Sakura laughed, then sighed. "18th. Sorry, that might be hard." I heard her yell into the background. "When are we going to your parents?"

"You can't come!?" I exclaimed in anguish, Sakura shooshes me and listens to Shikamaru.

The answer shot back saying, "The twenty fourth."

"Twenty fourth," I muse. "That sucks, you could be here for what? Six days by then."

Sakura sighed. "Maybe we could visit, then travel on. Then come back."

"No. Way." I heard Shika's voice in the background. "Fuck off. There is no way I am traveling so much."

Sakura ignored him. "Actually, that might work out, because Shikamaru's parents are on the Suna side of Land of Fire." She mused a bit more. "We're staying there until the twenty-seventh, though."

"That's fine. So if you come on the eighteenth, leave on the twenty third, late… come back on the twenty-eighthish area." I grinned to myself. "I'm excited! Guessing you'll be catching the train? If so, I'll just meet you at the station."

"That's a good idea, plus there is no way in hell we can afford all the petrol." She agreed. "That way we can travel up with Sasuke and Nar-," she stopped. "…Is he coming?"

I sighed. "He is. I'll give him the chance to explain and the such. I know I should, I do miss the asshole."

"I'm glad, Sorano."

"Yeah, I'm trying to be. But it's so much easier to be angry." I sighed and shook it off. "So, how have you been?"

"Well, umm, there _is_ something I wanna tell you. I don't really know whether it's good news or not right about now, it's all fairly new and-," I stopped her there, the phone was making the 'incoming call' sound.

"Sakura! Tell me when you're here, okay? It'll be exciting that way! There's a call coming in! LOVE YOU! I'll look up train times and meet you! Byebyebye!"

"Sorano- Uhh, fine. Bye." I hung up and immediately the phone started ringing again. Only Sasuke or Kimimaro left. I picked up the phone, "Helloooooooooo!"

"Hey," The sound made my heart stop. Fuck, he sounded so much like Itachi. Was I going to never be able to let the bastard go? I suddenly realized how hard it would be to see Sasuke, to be around Sasuke in general.

"Hello," I squeaked. The sound was a strangled gasp.

"It's Sasuke," came the bored voice from the other end of the earth.

I laughed weakly "You have no idea how good it is to hear you're voice," I said, there was a weird edge to my voice. I have missed Sasuke so very, very much, but this was going to be hard. Every word he had said had this edge to it, that very easily could be Itachi.

"You know, I never thought I'd say this in my entire life, but same here."

"If it makes you feel any better, you didn't actually say it," I laughed. "Just implied it." I started to relax a bit, trying to push the images of Sasuke's older brother out of my mind. This voice belonged to Sasuke, Sasuke who I trust and is wonderful and would also never forgive me if I mentioned the Itachi experience. So I won't.

He sighed. "Both are just as bad."

I considered this, and then laughed. "Yeah, pretty much."

"Wedding?"

"Yes, I know. Well, actually, I don't really. Apparently it's around New Years, so the plan with the others is to arrive on the eighteenth, and then wing it until the wedding."

"Christmas in Suna?"

"Yesss. If you can make it, which I know you can, Sasuke." I told him sternly. _Sasuke. Sasuke Sasuke, Sasuke. Sasuke._ Not anyone else. Sasuke.

"It'll be hot." He stated matter-of-factly. "I hate hot."

I scowled at him down the phone. "Oh, stop complaining. You get to see your good buddy Sora get hitched."

"In a hot, windy stupid desert," he complained one last time, then sighed. "But I'll come anyway."

I grinned, knowing he liked being the rain on people's parade. "Thatta boy."

"…Naruto?"

I paused before answering this one. "He's coming. Well, he better be. I know I have to forgive him sometime, and y'know, starting the New Year in a good way and all that, I guess."

I could hear Sasuke's smug tone. "You missed him."

"Not much," I retorted dryly. "And that's what worries me."

"You always had more sense then Naruto." Sasuke said mildly.  
"Hey, if I were him, I would have been here within two weeks to go after me." I scowled. "The ass."

"Yes, but we all know Naruto isn't reasonable."

I nodded in agreement, then realize he couldn't see me.

"Don't worry, I know you're nodding." He said blandly.

I laughed. "Sasuke, it is truly great to talk to you again."

I heard him mutter something into the background, then say to me, "Naruto is back, I'll see you on the eighteenth, probably."

"Good! Goooooood. See you the-," And he hung up. I scowled at the receiver, and then shoved it down on the back on it's table. My scowl didn't last long though, and for the rest of the day my mood alternated from ear-to-ear grin, to worried frown. I would deal with it when it came. Which hopefully it wouldn't in general. I would see Sasuke, and everything would be better. Yes, that is what will happen. I will forget that ever happened.

Now only Kimimaro has to cally call call calllll. Ahhh, I'm so excited! Even the news that that stupid Magazine sold me down the river can't spoil my day. Happyhappyhappy!

……………………………………………………………………………………………

**11:28**

Gaara came in and I grabbed him, did a quick waltz-dance step, and twirled out to make a sixth cup of tea.

"I'maaa gonna get marrriiieddd, and see my friiiennddsss again!!"

"Should I be offended you're more excited about seeing friends you haven't seen for less then a year, rather then holy matrimony with me?"

I danced back and kissed him quickly. "Not at all. I couldn't stand holy matrimony with any of them. Especially Sasuke, since he'd drive me mad."

"So who called?"

"All of them! Except Kimimaro…," I sighed. "But maybe the school's mailing system is shit." I dipped the tea-bag in the water and added sugar.

He gave me a dry look. "And maybe it wasn't Naruto at all, maybe the mailman just planted the letters there."

I sighed again. "I guess, he'll ring when he's ready." Shoving the milk back in the fridge, I taste my tea. "Owwww, hot." I scowl at it, and leave it on the bench to cool.

"Sora, he might not ring," Gaara said this in the gentled voice that is physically possibly for Gaara to use.

I gave Gaara a semi-sympathetic glance. "He'll ring," I assured not only him, but myself too. "Or send a letter," I added.

"Sorano," oh dear. He was serious. The 'no' to the 'Sora' was comin' on out. "Imagine if I was getting married to somebody else, and I wrote you a casual letter that wasn't even a proper invitation asking you to come with a general date that isn't even the wedding."

I shrug. "I'd come, to try one of those crazy unlikely movie-type rescues from your most-likely evil nasty restricting bride who conned you into marriage." I laughed, and he gave me an evil glare. He'd obviously been trying to make a point. I pat his heat affectionately. "It's okay, I know what you're trying to say, but I know Kimimaro. He would at least call."

Gaara looked like he was going to say something, and argue his point further but then just sighed and left it, he stood up and went to sit on the couch.

I grumbled something about males being silly and thinking they knew everything, and then turned to grab my tea. It was gone. Chances were Gaara had it. That ass.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Wednesday 11/12/18 **

A week to go. Weekyweekweek. Waiting by the phone, incase Kimimaro rings.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Moments later **

AHHHH! I CAN'T STAND A WEEK!

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

**Sorry I haven't updated in ages! Back to school very very perilously soon, so I am kinda in an unorganized mess. Of course, if I was in an organized mess, I would…. Er, not be me, really. **

**Anyway, hope you all who are going back to schoolies soonish, (Aust, probs) and everyone else who's just in school in general are coping. Because I'm not. AHHH. Tests, tests, tests. Big tests. Shitty big tests. **

**Kill me. **

**Love youuuu!**

**p.s. for those of you who do not know the wonder that is Edward Monkton, then go! My pretties, to his website! (just google Edward Monkton) and I guarantee you will have fallen in luuurve before the day is done. Not with him, but with the many wonderful things he creates. **

**I love that quote. A lot. **


	42. Long Face

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

**Chapter Forty-Two**:

_To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.- Farmers' Almanac_

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

**Thursday 12/12/18 **

Kankuro is talking to me again, FINALLY, well sort off. He did talk to me, not sure if he will again. God, how long can one man stay angry about one comment on his thigh-weight/fat content? A long, long time in Kankuro's case.

"KANKURO! GUESS WHAT?" I slid around the corner of the lounge and jumped excitedly on the couch.

"What, Mrs. My thighs can feed a starving country?" Kankuro grumbled angrily.

"Oh, get over that," I wave a hand in dismissal. "And plus, it was _your_ thighs, remember?"

He grumbled something involving many nasty words and then glared at me. "Well, what?"

"I HAVE FRIENDS COMING TO MY WEDDING!"

"And…?"

"Sasuke and Sakura and Kakashi and Iruka and Shikamaru… and Naruto, too." I told him excitedly.

"Wow, long guest list." Kankuro muttered grumpily.

"You can be on my guest list too, but I figured you'd be on Gaara's."

"Yeah, I'm best man," Kankuro grumbled again, and then seemed to perk up in a negative way. "And you know what? The ass didn't even have the decency to ask me! He just send the secretary to me to send a message that said 'You have a fitting at four, don't forget' and so I trundle off thinking it's a suit fitting for some kind of meeting, but then I'm led to a bridal weddings place, where the lady asks me if I'm proud to be the best man of the Kazekage!"

I laughed. "That's Gaara, alright."

Kankuro scowled at me, then frowned. "Hey, do you mean Kakashi as in the sensei Kakashi?"

I grinned at him, "Yep!"

Kankuro burst out laughing. "Man, you don't have many friends do you?"

I glared at him. "Kakashi is my friend, same with Iruk-,"

Kankuro laughed more. "Inviting teachers to your wedding!"

I glared at him and storm out of the room, pausing only the mutter, "Oh, and I'd appreciate it if you could get on the treadmill, there'll be a few ambassadors from the Land of Waves there, and I wouldn't want to temp them with an offer of a meat supply that could possibly last up to a decade, yeah?"

I turned and stomped off down the hallway, but I could still hear Kankuro yell "MY THIGHS ARE _NOT_ THAT BIG!"

So here I am, waiting next to the phone again. Dadadadadidadummmm. Hmmyhmmhmm. Lalallalala. Boredyboredbored.

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

**Nighttime, sometime. **

"On the seventeenth you have to go check your clothes fit," Gaara told me when he walked in the door.

I frown. 'Huh?"

"Wedding, remember?"

"Ohhhhh! Ohh… oh dear. Do I have a _dress_?" I go pale at the image of me in a dress with a long train. It was just asking for disaster. "We both know that isn't a good idea."

Gaara smiled slightly. "I know, I thought of that. I said a 'traditional Suna wedding' would be safer. No dress…. But….," he trailed off.

I looked at him suspiciously. "Whaaat?"

"It would involve Suna clothes. Uhhh, _Dressy_ Suna clothes."

"Urghhh! Does that mean consticto-tops?"

"Probably," he shrugged. "Better then a dress with a train." We both shuddered at the idea, and all the possible disasters. "When Sakura gets here, she'll have to try her things on too,"

"Guessing she's my bridesmaid?"

"Yes," he paused. "Well, she is now."

I thought for a moment, and then laugh. "You know what's funny?"

He eyed me suspiciously. "What?"

"At Sakura's wedding I got hit in the face with the bouquet, and I was wondering what it would mean." I grinned. "And here I am."

He laughed. "So is it a good thing or a bad thing? To get hit in the face with a brides bouquet?"

I considered this, "I would say good in my case, but in any other's it would be like a publicist walking up to them and saying 'you must marry this man, if you want to survive longer then five months'"

Gaara laughed again, and I laughed with him. It felt like forever since I'd heard him laugh. "It feels like we haven't even seen each other since you came back," he said, and ran a hand over my cheek.

I smiled sadly. "I know, but it'll die down eventually, and then another eventually later we'll be able to leave, and I can finish university, and you can… er, do whatever you feel like, and everything will be perfect." Gaara smiled slightly, and I kissed him before he could spoil my dreams. "Just live with it, everything'll be _fine_."

For a moment he was about to say something, but he just sighed and smiled slightly. "Sure, Sorano."

"It will be, you just wait," I promised.

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

**13/12/18 Friday **

Five days. Fiveyfivefive days to gooooooooo. I am going nuts, I am excited but I am also scared shitless, and I also very very angry at myself for being scared shitless because these are my best friends.

I guess, I'm worried we've all changed. I mean, it's been less then a year and all, but a lot has happened on my side of life, god knows what's happening/happened on theirs.

Also, second and less extreme because I've already dealt with it and it WILL NOT happen, is the fact that Sasuke and Itachi actually look/sound a lot alike. Especially when you are supposed to be trying to forget one of them.

But like I said, it's been dealt with, I have figured that I will SEE Sasuke and suddenly realize they look/sound nothing alike, and that will be the end of that.

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

**9:00pm **

"Kankuro, do you live here? Is this where you sleep? Do you even have a _room_!?" I had walked into the lounge area because I was out of tea and planned to steal a few bags to get me though to night/morning before housekeeping people came up (only to replenish tea stocks, not to clean. I have banned them from cleaning) to give me more. I also found Kankuro on the couch. Still. At 8:30 at night.

He glared back at me. "I can stay here as long as I like," He grumbled.

"Yeah, so can I, but I don't, have you noticed?" I said, grinning. "Somehow it just makes it more pathetic," I mock-sighed.

"Shutup," he grumbled and glared at me.

I grinned. "Want a cuppa tea?" I offered.

He considered this. "Coffee, thanks." He muttered grumpily.

I laughed. "Comin' right up, sir."

I gave him his coffee, and fell into the couch next to the squishy chair with my tea. "So why the long face?"

"I do not have a long face!" he seemed outraged. "You can insult my thighs, but I do not have a goddamn long face!"

I laughed. "Oooooh, touchy."

He took a large swig of his coffee and glared at me. "So, when are your friends arriving?"

"Uhh, in about…." I paused for effect. "Five days, sixteen hours, forty minutes and, uhhh, depending on the train, thirty to one-twenty seconds?" He gave my a dry, unamused look, and I grinned brightly back. "Don't you worry you're pretty little head about them, it'll all be greatygreat, just don't… y'know, do or say anything mean… they haven't met you before, well… Kakashi has, so watch out for him, but besides that you'll be right."

"I am not scared of your little friends." He said indignantly. I just smiled back.

"Suuuuure," I grinned more.

Eventually, after a while I gave up on waiting for Gaara to come in, he was obviously going to be out late, and I needed my beauty sleep, to look sufficiently successful and complete when I see the gang. All I need to do is maintain said successfulness until we get back to the suites, and then I can drop it and tell them all about various things. But y'know, good first impressions would be good.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Sorry for lack of updates. I do love you. A lot. Very busy. Busybusy. Ahh. Swimming carnival. Ahh. Poncho. Ahh. Yellow. Ahh. GO OXLEY. Ahh. **

**LOVE YOU. **

**P.s. I know the quote has nothing to do with anything, but I just found it so hilariously true I had to include it somewhere. ******


	43. Reunion

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Chapter Forty-Three: **

_Losing half a year, waiting for you here… I'd be your anything. - Sugarcult, 'Memory'. _

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**14/12/18 **

I can't take this. Four. Days.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**15/12/18 **

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

,…………………………………………………………………………………………

**16/12/18 **

One day, I think, I may possibly explode from excitement. Two days, you know how short of a time that is? In two days, I could achieve… er, absolutely nothing. Which kind of proves my point.

It is a very short time. Short time, shorter then me. Poor thing. I'd hate to be two days, because even_ I_ am slightly longer then two days.

Well, I hope I am.

How long is two days anyway? I am… er, well, I haven't measured my height in many years, because I'm trying to not put pressure on my legs to grow. They'll grow in their own sweet time.

Growgrowgrow.

Half of me doesn't want the two days to pass. I'm not ready! I like this calm, reassuring madness of the beforehand.

Oh dearydear, far out. Two days is nothing.

_Nothing_.

Oh dear, whoops. It's all over, I am seventy, and have a bad case of arthritis in my, er, jointy type devices. Sounds like jaunty type devices. Which sounds rude. Oh dear. Ahh. Going mad. Whatever shall I do.

Err, I may have a nap.

Goodnight, good sir.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**6:04pm **

Errghh. I feel all greasy and disgusting, I didn't put the air conditioner on, and it is like fifty degree's outside. Dear lord, how the hell do they survive.

Ahhhh, I need a shower, before I turn into a terrifying puddle of worry and grease.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**6:35**

It. Is. So. Hot.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**6:40**

Gave up, screw the environment; it was either use the aircon or die. Or go sit in the general lounge room with Kankuro. But I am not wearing appropriate undergarments for that.

Aka, it is way too hot to wear anything that isn't see-through, and I have my wonderfully colourful bra on.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**17/12/18 **

Okay. Went to see if very fancy suna clothing fitted.

It did.

I will say no more.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Bit later **

You know that gut feeling you get when you just know somebody is going to walk out of a room with a broke nose/collarbone? Well, this is one of those moments. If it is Temari or the paper-nazi receptionist, I won't really mind, but if it is me, Sasuke, or the Minister for Communications, I may have to call my wedding a disaster.

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

**3:04 **

Speaking of the minister for Communications, I wonder if he wants to come to my wedding.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

**4:19 **

He said he'd be honored. I told him it was the least I could do, because I have nearly put him in a wheelchair for a good six months many, many times.

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

**5:41**

Oh god. Oh god. Minus four hundred hours until train arrives. God knows what time that really is, but it arrives at two tomorrow. And I am very excited/nervous and there is no way I will be able to sleep tonight.

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

**9:14**

"Gaara, what if I don't recognize them," I asked, horrified at the thought. "What if Sakura is really fat, or something?"

Gaara almost laughed, but composed himself just in time. "You'll notice them, don't worry." He said, almost reassuringly, he then stopped and considered something. "You know, I'd be more worried that they don't recognize you," he said, shrugging. And then he realized his mistake, I was off, infront of the mirror.

"HAVE I CHANGED THAT MUCH!? DO I LOOK DIFFERENT?" I yelled madly from the bathroom. "SHOULD I WEAR, UMM, I DON'T KNOW… _JEANS_? WILL THAT MAKE ME LOOK MORE FAMILIAR?!"

I could hear Gaara grumble something about him being really, really intensely stupid, and then something about me being really, really intensely messed. He wandered over to the bathroom, surveyed me, gave me one dry look and shrugged. "See how it all works out, okay?"

"Gaara, that does not help at all." I said, I had a feeling I was turning a weird shade of off white.

He looked at me for a moment, laughed, kissed my hair, and wandered off to the kitchen, snickering occasionally. I scowled at my reflection, and then scowled harder when my scar made me look like a disapproving schoolteacher.

"Stupid ugly scar…" I muttered angrily. I tried to relax my faceto see what I looked like to the general public, but then couldn't do it without cracking up because I kept looking like a really stupid kid who didn't understand simple maths problems.

Okay, so that's what I am. Buuuuuut, I mean like a seven-year old kid.

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

**18/12/18 **

I woke up in the morning, got into the shower, brushed my teeth, had breakfast and god into reasonable clothing before it fully hit me what today was. By that time, I only have about four and a half hours to go, because they were arriving at around 2pm. That meant they were already on the train. Coming to see me. Right _now_.

And so, that definatly meant I was behind schedule vis-à-vis informing and re-informing everybody I came across that I had friends coming. I think I told Kankuro eight times, well, possibly nine. Maybe eight an a half, seeing as on the ninth time he practically suffocated me trying to shut me up.

After about an hour an a half of that, I showered again, and then got dressed, applied a small and subtle amount of make-up to make myself seem successful, put my hair in a bun, shoved on some gold-creamy coloured Suna-pants, my most subtle of my tourist shirts, being 'Suna=LOVE' one, a creamy-gold sash with black trim, wiped off the make-up, put it back on, changed my tourist shirt, decided against it, put the other one back on, told Kankuro my friends were arriving soon again, and then had lunch.

"I am not looking foreward to seeing Kakashi again," Kankuro muttered though his ravioli. I grinned.

"That, my friend, will be the best wedding present I could ask for," I laughed. He scowled at me, and put more ravioli in his mouth.

"You better actually think that, because I'm not getting you one."

"I do, honest. But that means I have the right to introduce you like you guys don't know each other." I grin evilly.

Kankuro shoots me a look, and was about to tell me that wasn't a good idea, but I quickly dashed off to repeat my getting-ready plan.

And so, I killed another half hour, before I could finally go without waiting at the train station for an hour. I was just applying sunscreen whilst stepping out of the lift, when I felt a hand tug the back of my collar.

I make a strangled noise, and the mystery man/woman let go, I whirled around to face a guard, next to that guard was Gaara. I gulp.

"Uhhhh, just going to meet my friends. You know, wedding friends and all. Guests. Friends. Hahaha. Yes, anyway, see you in an hour or three-," and I made a break for it, only to be stopped by more guards.

"This is your escort." Gaara said. "Escort, Miss Takaski, Miss Takaski, Escort."

I grumbled a muffled "Please to meet you," and scowled. "Do I have too? I'm trying to look successful and independent!"

Gaara almost laughed. I should have been offended, but I don't think he meant it that way. "Sorry, but these guys won't lose you. Especially when you only have…" he checked his wrist, "Forty-five minutes."

I go pale. "I need to go! It takes fifteen minutes to walk to the train station! What if the train's early!?" I try to make another run for it, but once again get caught. I sigh, shoot Gaara a 'you just wait,' kind of glance, and snap at the guards to get a move on, otherwise I'd be late.

But there was more, outside, there was a car waiting. I argued against this pitifully, until the guards said they'd walk with me there, and on the way back me and my friends could ride back in the air-conditioned car.

After thinking about this, I agreed. Seeing as it took me a very, very long time to get used to Suna's heat. Air-Conditioning might be a good idea.

And we were off. It was beyond embarrassing, they made me stop at zebra-crossings to look both ways like a primary-school kid. They didn't even have the decency to pretend not to be smug. They were so happy that for once I wasn't getting away. And I wasn't, they had me in a circle of protective bodies.

"You're all really happy about this, aren't you? Smug bastards." I was too angry to be polite, plus, I cannot image one of the _guard_ being offended by bad language.

There were a few snickers at my comment, and I scowled in their direction, and kept up my brisk walking pace, which was easily matched by their long-legged stride. This just made me that little bit more annoyed.

When we eventually made it to the train station, as I trotted down the stairs leading to the place where the train stopped, placed underground for coolness due to the days heat. All anger slid off me with the hot air. I was coming to meet Sakura and Sasuke and Kakashi and Iruka and Shikamaru and … Naruto. I was coming here to meet up with friends that I love and adore and haven't really seen for almost a whole year. Well, most of them, anyway.

I didn't know what would happen, it hadn't really been that long, but it felt like absolute eternities. And so, I sat down with my guards, who were chatting idly, realizing I didn't really care about image (though they'd probby figured this out a long, long time ago), and waited.

Two trains came before theirs. I had jumped up for the two before, excited, very excited, but this one, I knew it was them. And I stayed stock-still, worried over what to do. Would they think I'm childish for leaping on them? Should I wait for them to find me? I was shaking slightly, and was still in indecision when one of the guards tapped my shoulder and murmered, "Miss, I think this is them," I assumed they had seen photo's, so if Sakura tries to jump on me, they wouldn't think it was assassination. Though it very well could be classed as that.

I stood shakily, and nodded thanks, telling them to wait here, or I'd personally make sure they all lost their jobs. They seemed to take this seriously, and stood behind around the bench.

They stood out in the crowd, of course they did, They were sort of in a group, Kakashi and Iruka talking about something, Sasuke leaning against the nearest accessible wall, Naruto almost hiding behind him, Sakura with Shika, Sakura looking around very obviously for me. The crowd thinned, and I still hadn't moved. I could hear Sakura now. Why wasn't I moving? I wanted to see her!

They all sort of noticed me at once, all shifting slightly so they could have a better look, I still didn't move, stuck like a deer in the headlights. And I met their eyes, and fear ripped through me. They were confused. How did I look? Was I different? Did they think I was this rich, snooty kid now?

I breathed in, and then out. We all said nothing.

Then Sasuke shifted again, smirked, and raised his eyebrows, "Man, do _you_ have some explaining to do," he said in his usual monotone, I ignored the back of my mind which was on full alert, incase Itachi turned up.

And then the tension broke like a water balloon, and Sakura practically exploded. "SORANOOO, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? WHAT … WHA… oh, I do _not_ care," and she ran foreword and leapt on me. I laughed, and hugged her back madly.

The others were more contained, and I ran foreward to meet them, with Sakura still hanging off one side of me. It was a mad rush of hugging and kissing and greeting and laughing and shoulder-patting and grinning. I subtly checked out how much Shikamaru weighed, and finding this satisfactory, I ignored his scowl, kissed him on the cheek and told him he looked fabulous. Iruka was fine with hugging me, but I had to persuade Kakashi to lean down slightly so I could reach around his neck, all through this Sakura was still chattering away in my ear asking me endless unanswered (and mostly ignored) questions.  
"What's wrong with your _face_!?"  
"Have you lost weight?"  
"You've dyed your hair; you _have_ to have dyed your hair. It is just _too_ blonde!"

"What on earth happened to your face?"

"You've definatly lost weight."

"It's so _hot_. How the hell do you survive?"

"Sora, you are practically black. Please tell me it's not a fake tan."

"Serious, tell me what the hell went on to make your face like that."

"I would ask if you've grown… but you haven't."

"FAR OUT YOUR FACE IS MESSED UP."

Of course, most of these I could/would have taken offense too, if I wasn't already in the process of trying to put my sash around Sasuke's face to stop the passing girls from staring.

"Usually, I wouldn't really care, but if these girls get beaten back at home for looking you in the eye, then I will personally match each and every one of their injuries on you." I tell him forcefully, succeeding in tying the see-through cloth over his face. "There," I say, admiring my handiwork. "Now they'll all just think you're a really undeveloped woman."

And then, I shoved Sasuke out of the way, and he tore off the blindfold I'd put on him, I laughed, and swung around, accidentally meeting eye contact with somebody I really didn't know what to say too.

Naruto looked pale, well, paler then usual. He'd got a few more freckles since I'd last seen him, and he'd grown. Again. I swallowed hard, and sighed. I didn't hate him, I didn't at all. I knew that way too well to not hug him.

And so I did, and he hugged me back and lifted me off the ground because he was so much taller then me. "Sora, I am so sorry. I should have never- I don't know how I- I am so _sorry, _I don't know how I did it without committing suicide due to guilt, I-,"

I cut him off. "It's hard to forgot something ever happened, and let it all go, when somebody keeps reminding you it happened." I gave him a look of steel. "I'll forget, you'll forget. We all live happily ever after."

I saw his eyes start to well up with tears. I sigh, and due to mostly pent up tension from the whole day generally, slap him across the face.

"Okay, now I can forgive as well." I mutter angrily about dramatic men and how they just can't let things go, and grumble off, leaving Sasuke, who was practically in hysterics (for Sasuke, this means restraining a smile), to deal with a dumbstruck Naruto, who didn't know whether to cry or laugh.

And so, we met the car, refused the lift but dropped all the baggage into it (90% Sakura's) and walked back, all of them detesting the idea of any more sitting, after the six-hour train trip from Konoha.

The guards said they'd rather die (which is presumably why they were protecting me) then be caught getting out of the car with you not in it by the Kazekage, so they walked with us.

"Why are those guys with us?" Sakura asked.

This was one of her relentless flow of questions I decided I'd actually answer "Uhh, they are here to stop me, err, y'know, dying. In general." I decided the word 'assassinated' would make Sakura practically have a heart-attack in dramatic joy, thinking of all the crazy stories she could tell Ino when she got back.

The people who generally laugh laughed, "Ahhh, we always knew you'd need a bodyguard to keep from dying."

"By the looks of it, she needs about thirty," Kakashi put in, looking around mildly.

I scowled at them, and Sakura laughs. "Ahh, I love that look."

I scowled more, and Sakura laughs again, this time joined by most of the pack. "Especially," She laughed more. "Because that scar makes your eyebrow go down in a retarded-seven-year-old kinda way."

I, with a deadly glare, extended a foot, and tripped her over into the red dust of the footpath. "You will learn, like others have, to not bring up the incident on my face," I tell her, glaring.

She gets up, grumbling. "It's too hot for this," she glares at me, and retreats to talk to Shikamaru about my face in what she thinks is a whisper, and I go to walk by Kakashi in what I think is a subtle manner.

"So, what _did_ happen to your face?" Kakashi asks instantly, I glare at him, and realizing how large the angle I have to lift my head at the make eye-contact is, decide that I can't really trip him over without taking out several large buildings.

"I'll explain it inside, over a cup of tea." I grumble, and retreat again to walk with Sasuke. "They're all being mean."

"You're face is kind of a topic of interest," He stated.

"Thanks," I mutter.

And so the trip home continued, me trying to relax my eyebrows and almost making Sasuke laugh at what he called 'not so much a retarded seven year old, more of a mentally deficit, cross-eyed bird with a long neck.'

I could deal with all of this, but the long neck part had me a little worried.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Long update. Because you guys definatly deserve it for being so wonderfully patient. ******

**I LOVE YOUUU. QUITE A LOT. **

**:D **

**hope you are all well. ******


	44. Cheers, thanks

……………………………………………………………………………………………**.**

**Chapter Forty-Four: **

_Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at evening.__ - __Oliver Wendell Holmes_

……………………………………………………………………………………………**.**

**Later that afternoon **

We'd sat down with a cup of tea in my/Gaara's room, seeing as I actually didn't know where they'd be staying. Sakura rattled off a speech about how she had every detail perfectly ready, but then I told her she wasn't forced to get married under threat of assassination. This shut her up for about twelve blissful seconds, at which she got so worried she asked so many questions, as if to make up for all the lost time she'd have if I was assassinated.

"Okay, okay! I shall try to explain, er, once I have my cup of tea." I told her, sighing. "We will have a jolly good chat, promise."

I wasn't really concerned about talking about things. There was only one event I was afraid that would slip out, and only two people in the known universe knew about that. In fact, I will try and avoid the mention of that person entirely. Not due to me, due the the fact Sasuke might strangle me for not strangling him.

Heck, I could strangle me for not strangling him.

Luckily, I was saved from that particular chat just then, due to the fact Gaara walked in, very glad for the distraction, and also just generally happy to see him, I bounded foreword, kissed him on the cheek and came dangerously close to introducing him to people he already knew.

They all stood, and almost awkwardly said hello, I laughed inwardly at this, but only Kakashi had the guts to laugh out loud.

"Wow, and I remember when you two used to be science partners." I scowled at him, warning him not to bring up any potentially embarrassing science adventures. "Ah, Sora, you were a really terrible science student… I think you made a record for falling in the trash can."

"You fell in the trash can?" Gaara asked, mildly surprised.

Most of them snickered and I turned slightly pink. "After you went… I, er, they moved all the bins." I get out hurriedly. "It confused me…. Er, _a lot_."

Gaara raised his eyebrows at me in what I knew was laughter, and then told the rest of them there was somebody outside who would show them their rooms. They filed out, snickering occasionally and telling me they'd be back in less then forty seconds to hear the rest of the story.

Even though half of them could probably recall it perfectly.

I was dizzy with a strange breed of intoxicating happiness. I wrap my arms around Gaara and lean on him. "I love you," I murmured happily.

"Drink you're tea, you're dehydrated."

"So that's why I'm dizzy…," I kissed him instead, deciding it was better then tea. I dragged him onto the couch, not breaking the kiss and smiled blissfully, eventually we broke apart, and the room span. "Wow, that didn't help, _at all._" I said, blinking rapidly.

He almost laughed. And slow untangled himself from me, and got off the couch, I pouted. "Doesn't mean I didn't like it,"

He did laugh this time, "I have work," he paused, "And, you're friends will be in soon," he paused again, this time frowning slightly. "And it'd be really weird being caught by you're ex-science teacher," he said, and shook himself slightly.

This made me think. "That _would_ be disturbing, yeah." (Here I mentally slap myself, for Deidara-like antics, which still occasionally rear their annoyingly lovable head)

Gaara smiled and went out the door, I blew him a kiss, which he deliberately ignored. I grinned, and went to get everybody's cooling tea.

The gang arrived back shortly after, starting with Kakashi and Iruka, followed by Sasuke and Naruto, then Shikamaru, and about ten minutes later, Sakura.

By the time she arrived, we were already half way into an interesting conversation about the new kids at Konoha high, and how they were doing. Including Naruto's mini-me.

Then a new topic struck me in the back of the head, as a memory sprung up. "Hey, what do you guys know about Tsnuade?"

They all look mildly surprised, so I'm guessing it was all old news to them. "Naruto coaxed her into the job of Hokage," Sasuke said, a dry look of mild annoyance on his face. I'm guessing he lost a considerable amount on money in betting over this one. I grinned widely.

"She turned up here," I said idly. "It was quite a shock."

They all look just as shocked. "She didn't tell us," Kakashi mused.

I don't know why she didn't, I really don't. I think she was giving me the choice over whether to see them or not. Maybe she thought they'd all run here if she said anything. Sakura might have, but Sasuke would rather die then be part of it.

I think Sasuke is getting worried, I keep this constant fixed eye contact on him nearly all the time. Seeing as if he speaks, when I'm not ready for it, or looking away, instant pictures of Itachi flash to mind. They have the same mannerisms. The same pitches and tones and ups and downs to their voice. It's very, very potentially dangerous if I don't pay close attention.

Also, I can't look at him through the corner of my eye, because he morphs into Itachi/the Devil Himself. My head, to my extreme annoyance, has decided which one of the two it'd rather see. I treat this silly decision with the contempt it deserves, and refuse to accept it.

Sasuke is _Sasuke_, Itachi is the _Devil_. And they are very, very different people/demonic creatures.

I shook my head vigorously as this train of thought went roaring thought my mind, and mentally glared at myself for tuning out at such a time. The door sprung open and Sakura entered, looking like a goddess. She'd obviously, in the space of about ½ hour, had a shower, re-dressed, re-make-up'd, and just in general made herself gorgeous.

"So, Sorano, I do believe you owed us a story or four," she said, sitting down and getting her cup of tea. She took a sip, and smiled, then went a little red. "You realize how _hot_ it is in here?" I got up to close the windows and put the air con on. Knowing then would not stand a chance at surviving the heat.

"Even I want to hear this one," my head snapped in Sasuke's directions so I could re-enforce the image of the rounder-faced, scarless, blue-tinted dark eyed Uchiha. Sasuke was smirking slightly. I grinned back, and after fixing the windows, sat back down on the couch and pressed the 'on' button. As soon as the first rush of cool air went into the room, I could hear a mild sigh of relief from everybody.

I sighed, and toyed with the side of the couch for a while, I usually would leap into the story with a great amount of vigor and enthusiasm, but I was still trying to make events turn out without mentioning the Devil himself, or the immense lack of abuse. I look thoughtful, and then ask, "When somebody says 'kidnapped' do you immediately think rape and abuse?"

They shrugged, probably thinking this is how it all started, and then turned into an argument. Probably with Kankuro or something. Kakashi was first to answer, "I'd say yes,"

"Mmm," Agreed Sakura.

"I dunno, not really rape or abuse, I kinda think forced marriage," This came from Iruka, the start had been promising, but it didn't really end how I wanted it too.

Naruto shrugged, lapsing back into the almost shy, embarrassed silence he'd been in for the whole conversation. Sasuke frowned. "Not really," he shrugged. "I just think captivity."

It would have made it a whole lot easier for me, in what way I don't really know, if Sasuke could have said 'yes, rape and abuse'. God knows, but any little difference would have made my life easier.

Shika still hadn't answered, he was looking lazily out the window, and I was about to keep talking when he said. "Sora, if you have been kidnapped, that will probably make an all-time low," he paused and seemed to re-consider. "Or maybe an all-time high, depending on what why you look at it,"

I scowled at him, "You know what you are?" I told him curtly. "You're one of those annoying kids who blurt out the ending of the story,"

This had an effect, Iruka went a sick shade of white, Kakashi raised his eyebrows in a more extreme way then usual, Sakura fell off the edge of Shika's chair, where she had been sitting, Naruto inhaled his mouthful of tea and went into a coughing fit, Sasuke let out a short burst of impromptu laughter, and then covered it by coughing, and patting Naruto's back.

Shikamaru just sat back in his chair. "Here we go, you know, you guys'd all know this if you paid attention to the papers,"

They all looked at him incredulously. "You _knew_," was repeated around the circle. I grinned, that's what the bugger gets, I thought to myself, for ruining _my_ story.

Shika shrugged. "I wasn't sure it was Sora, I didn't want to get you guys all worked up, it's just mean trouble for me," he stretched out lazily and yawned. "And I cannot be bothered with trouble."

Sakura practically strangled Shika right then and there. "YOU _KNEW_ OUR SORANO WAS POSSIBLY KIDNAPPED, AND DIDN'T TELL ME?"

"Sakura-," his air supply was cut off again. "You've run ou-," once again, suffocation techniques applied. "Ttof tea-," ditto, "That's why you're so-," Actually, that looked quite painful. "Angry! Ahh! Get off me!" he managed to bail over the other side of the chair, while, Sakura, distracted by her lack of tea, went off to put the kettle on in an angry rage. Shika gasped for air.

I laughed, he got up and glared at me, I laughed harder, and once I caught my breathe, sighed in content. "Ahh, that's what story-ruiners get," I grinned at him.

"Shuttup," he grumbled, got back on his chair, and looked out the window again.

"Anyway, okay, so, um," I sigh. "Well," oh god. Chances were Sasuke knew about Ataksuki. Chances also were he knew his brother was there.

Chances were, though, that he didn't know Ataksuki was actually an illegal underground organization bent on gaining land and power. Idea's struck like lightning, which is very good, because the silence was stretching long enough to make it awkward.

"Well," I began. "I _was_ kidnapped." Most of them come very close to repeating the first reaction. I sigh. It was going to be very hard to get through this story.

I worked though it, it was a very inventive story. I made up the organization of Ataksuki without mentioning the school. I just said it was like the Mafia, except in a small country. Sasuke kind of tuned in more when I mentioned the name, to my distress, but then slouched again then further to went along.

And I told the story, about Deidara, and Bubbles, and Sasori, and an unnamed fourth member I never met, or interacted with. There were a few moments where sweat beaded on the back of my neck and forehead, due to the too-intelligent looks Shikamaru or Sasuke would throw me. They saw I wasn't saying everything, which worried me. Shika would leave it, he'd just accept I had secrets. Sasuke, because he is more like his brother then he'd like to think, would visit when I was alone. He'd want to know the story. The full story.

It's really sad, the one person who at all costs cannot know the full story, is the one who'll want to know it most. I have to say, on a top-of-my-head story, it was quite an amusing recount. They were laughing more then not. I left out the bit about me breaking them out of jail, I decided since that was a very, very serious offence, I'd probably like it if absolutely nobody bar the people who I broke out (including the Devil himself) knew about it. Ever.

"Of course," It was practically the first thing Naruto has really said to me. "Sora gets kidnapped, and what does she do? She taunts some of the worlds most dangerous criminals."

I laughed, and Naruto laughed back, and for a moment our eyes met, and nothing had ever happened. But then we bother remembered, and we glanced away quickly. It was a pity the human mind forgets so quickly things that you want to remember forever, and doesn't let you let go of things you'd like to bury forever.

Trust me, I have a lot of experience that would prove that theory true.

So the night continued, me, getting better and better at my censored story, them laughing and making the occasional retarded seven-year-old joke, 90% relating it to my eyebrow, but there was one or two cracks relating to Naruto, which I found really, really amusing.

Eventually, Naruto's stomache grumbled really quite loudly. I looked at the clock and paled. "Wow, it's ten."

"What's for dinner?" Kakashi asked bluntly.

"Well, err, the kitchens would be closed by now, but, I shall see what's in the fridge."

I disappeared into the kitchen, and came back enthused. "We have, two round things or Camembert cheese, one wedge of Brie, three onions, two tomatos, milk and half a bar of chocolate." I paused. "Oh, and three bottles of champagne, that I do not own…,"

"I put them there!" This was Sakura calling from the other room.

"Oh," I shrugged. "Well, we can make spaghetti, and mix the cheese into it.. with tomatoes? And onions?"

"Okay, umm, you know. I'll handle the cooking." And with that, Sakura took over the kitchen, using her food-technology skills to the utmost. I snuck off, mainly because I knew if I was in the kitchen while the stove was on, something, somewhere, would definatly explode.

And knowing my luck, it would be the drawer which contained the Minister for Communications nice ties. And ties would rain down from the heavens, and scare all the locals into thinking it was a nuclear war.

So, to be on the safe side, I left the cooking to Sakura.

After a while, Sakura came back in, telling us the sauce was simmering (I just nodded, I don't really know what that means) with several wine glasses that she'd obviously got from a cupboard I'd never ever really looked in.

"I couldn't find champagne glasses, but I figure these'll do, plus, their bigger," She grinned impishly, and set a bottle on the table. "Voila! Strawberry!"

"Strawberry? Isn't it champagne?" I asked slowly.

She gazed at me like I was the retarded seven year old I looked like. "Strawberry _flavored_, fool."

"Oh," I go a bit red. "Well, I don't drink anyway, so it doesn't matter."

"You are tonight." She said simply. "Because you're getting married!"

"Great logic there," I said. "Buuuut, alcohol is derived from very sleepy people-,"

"Dear lord, not that again," Naruto moaned, rolling his eyes. "I cannot listen to that theory again."

"It's quite plausible." I tell him curtly.

"Explain it in twenty seconds."  
"Ummm, err… well, umm, if you stay away for three nights straight… then, er… it has the same effect as… um, being very drunk… and," I was interrupted by Naruto saying 'twenty seconds is up,' and looking pleased with himself. I scowled at him. And he grinned back, pleased with himself, and then looked away in the usual manner. I sighed. It was good while it lasted.

"Anyway," I continued. "I don't drink."

But it was too late, Sakura had already poured it out and was passing me a glass. "I'm going to drop it in five seconds. You have to take it by then."

Haha, I was not going to fall for that. Sakura wouldn't ruin white carpet, it went against her general being. "Two… one," she frowned. "Damn."

"Haha, I knew you wouldn't."

She sighed. "No, I wouldn't…," then she paused. "Hey, Sasuke, do me a favor and drop this when I get to one,"

"Sure," Sasuke took the glass and leant towards me so I could take it.

"Five,"

Oh dear. Sasuke is probably waiting to see if she gets to one. Knowing Sasuke, he'll actually probably drop it at three.

"Four,"

Better not to risk it. I took the glass with a scowl in their directions. Sasuke smirked back. "Isn't this peer pressure?" I told them moodily.

"No, it's a wedding drink. It's like… the law," Sakura said cheerily. "So technically it can't be classed as peer pressure."

I stick my tongue out at her. And she grinned. "You'll like it, though. It's good."

"You better hope it is," I said dangerously.

Sakura raised her glass. "To the half of the happy couple who would actually let us do that without committing mass murder-,"

"Then you've got the wrong half of the happy couple, I'll let you know," I muttered, I hear Sasuke snort.

"Shh," I hear Sakura shoosh. "And to our favorite terminally insane friend, who is possibly the luckiest girl on earth, because she really should be dead by now after taunting half of the worlds most wanted criminals and breaking almost every law wherever she goes," Sakura paused, probably losing track of where this was going. "Uhh, and also, we love her. Despite the fact that she can drive us all mad. And when she scowls like that resembles a disabled child."

"What kind of wedding speech is this?" I demanded, laughing slightly.

"A damned good one!" was Iruka's answer, I laughed.

"Anyway, cheers to her!" Sakura raised her glass.

"Cheers," was the answer, and they drunk. I stared at my glass for a moment, before taking a sip. It kind of burned my throat, but in a really delicious sweet way.

"Good, isn't it?"

I sighed. "Yeah, it is." I paused, and toyed with the edge of my glass. "But what'll really go nicely with it is burned sauce and sticky spaghetti."

Sakura went pale, and shoved her glass on the table and rushed to the kitchen swearing occasionally, we laughed.

We were half way into our meal, when suddenly Shikamaru frowned, and turned to me, giving me a dry, slightly amused look. "You know what, Sora," he started, I tilted my head. "There's something you still haven't told us. Kudos to you, because you really avoided it."

I went a little pale. "W-what?"

"I don't know how I didn't notice earlier."

"What?" I went a shade lighter. Oh god, Shikamaru, you idiotic bastard, do not say anything you, or I, will regret. Please, please do not. He'd worked something out, hadn't he? He has. I am screwed. Shitty shit, shit.

"How…," he paused. "You actually got that scar," he ended and looked at me with plain curiosity. I laughed in relief. Thank the lord, I am saved.

"You got me," I grinned. "Truly, I've avoided it all night."

"That is weird," Iruka pauses. "You haven't said anything, I can't believe I didn't notice… I knew you were a great debating student!" he said this last bit with a fierce pride that worried me.

I laughed. "I wasn't really a great debater, I dropped all my cards, remember?"

He laughed. "Oh yeah, ahh, that was funny."

"Soraaa…," Shika raised his eyebrows at me expectantly.

"Oh, that, well, you see that table over there? The little square one?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, I fell on it."

"What?" Naruto had leaned forward to see past Sasuke. "That's it? No violent story? No knife? No rusty scissors?"

I shake my head. "Dei and Bubbles came to get me, and I freaked out and threw myself at the table… for, er, no reason I really remember." I grinned sheepishly.

And they all burst out in laughter. I went red. "It's not my fault, I was being kidnapped. You guys have drunk too much." I tell them grumpily, taking a defensive sip of my own champagne.

"Ohhh, it's good to see you Sora," Sakura said happily. "It really is."

They stayed until about one in the morning, when Gaara finally came in, tired and half asleep, he wandered to me, patted my cheek absent mindedly, walked into the shower (I mean, walked into the shower, as in, walked _in to_ the _side_ of the shower) rotated a bit, walked out and collapsed on the bed in our room.

Kakashi, Iruka, Sakura and Shikamaru, all trying to hold straight faces, thanked me for the dinner I didn't cook, and hurried out, trying not to laugh. Naruto and Sasuke followed, Sasuke giving me a shifty glance I am very sure related to the untold part of my story, walked out.

I walked back in, in a sleepy, content daze, and looked around. Ehh, I'll clean it up in the morning. I crawled into bed next to Gaara, he turned over slightly.

"Please, do not tell me all your friends were in there."

"Well, two of your ex-high-school teachers were."

He rolls over so his face is in the pillow, I heard a muffled. "Kill me," and I laughed, and kissed him on the back of his head.

"Night night," I tell him, and snuggle up as close as one can to a crazy man muttering 'I hate my life' and 'fuck, fuck, shit, what kind of _dignity_ do I _have_?' and that kind of thing over and over.

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**Another long update! :D enjoy, thankye for all your wonderful, lovely reviews. **

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**LOOOOOVE, to all.**


	45. Blast from the Past

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**Chapter Forty-Five: **

_If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane - __Jimmy Buffett_

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**19/12/18**

In the morning, I woke up around the same time as Gaara, and made it as hard as possible for him to get out of bed.

I wrapped my arms around his waist and held tight. "But Gaaaaaaaaaraa," I whined. "Why do you have to leave so earllllyyy?"

He twisted around, scowled at me and told me curtly, "Because, I run a country, Sora."

I sighed, but didn't release the hold I had around his waist. "Yes, but you know Suna isn't a country that really likes to be running. It's more of a gentle stroll kind of place," I pause, and tug him back slightly. "So, you could stay, and then run. Your gentle stroll time is much better spent here," I told him seriously.

He seemed to sigh in an exasperated manner, and then whipped around quickly, and pinned me to the bed, kissed me until I couldn't move even if I'd wanted to, then pulled away, I smiled dreamily at him, "Wasn't that better then a gentle stroll?"

"Definatly," he said in a rough voice. "But-,"

I pulled him closer and wrapped my legs around him. "_Nooo_, no but's."

"Sora-,"

"No."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"Then I'll go," in my shock, I let go, and he smirked, and almost laughed. "You should really let me finish my sentence, you would have liked that one," he told me with a smirk that was possibly too attractive for my mind to really honestly comprehend.

"I would have an amazing comeback, if I wasn't already killing myself inside," I tell him sourly. "And plus, my mind is possibly moosh from that last look alone," I grumble.

He leans down, kisses me and then goes to shower and get dressed. I scowl in his direction, and stick my tongue out at him. "You're so mean," I told him as he walked off. "Really, honestly mean."

So, I spent the morning in my PJ's being slightly ticked off with a cup of tea, before it finally hit me. Shit, Naruto, Sasuke, Kakashi, Iruka, Sakura, and Shikamaru were all here. I perked up instantly, and ran to clean up last night's old wine-turned-champagne glasses, and bowls of spaghetti.

I had been smart, and just kept regularly sipping my own champagne, and they quickly forgot about me, and I am now quite happy, and not-hungover. Unlike I have a feeling Sakura, and probably Kakashi will be. Though I think Kakashi has like this crazy anti-hangover resistance built up by now.

I had, a few nights back, written another letter to Kimimaro, which I planned to send. It wasn't as long and/or detailed as the last, but said around the same thing. I plan on going to see Naruto/Sasuke to see if they know if he's moved or something.

I got dressed in another tourist shirt, and some puffy pants, shoved a sash on, and then dashed out the door, and swung around into the hallway. "Oh dear," I muttered to myself. It suddenly hit me that I didn't know where the hell they were.

A really, really entertaining idea then crept into my mind. And who says a bit of déjà vu can't hurt them? I think mischievously, and creep back into the room, and rummage through the bed-side table.

I pull out a screwdriver, and as my hands clasp it, instantly memories I'd rather forget spring to mind, I drop it like it was burning. Memories, burning unbelievably wonderful memories. Involving people like the Devil himself, and his many accomplices. I shudder, and then pick the screwdriver up again. I was not going to let the Devil beat me. Nooo, not that stupid, attractive, sexy… no, no, no. I shake my head, and scowl madly at the tool in my hands. Not this time. I squeeze it firmly, and then stand on the table to get to the vent.

There was no way a piece of metal and plastic was getting the better of me, even if it was possessed by the Devil. Nooo. Not even that can stop me.

And, with now more reason then just dropping in on Naruto and Sasuke, I stubbornly unscrewed the vent, and clambered in. Stupid Devil. I made my way left, seeing as left is always the better direction in my personal opinion. And so I went to the next room, and found it empty. Next room, contained a sleeping Shikamaru (not because he's hungover, just because it takes four alarm clocks and a jug of water to get him out of bed) and a snoozing Sakura. Next was empty. And, thirdly, I struck gold. I was at the side of the bed, and Naruto was still sleeping, while Sasuke was reading a book. I grinned, and as stealthily as I could, unscrewed the vent.

Once the cover was off, I crawled back a bit, and then not caring how much noise I made, leaped foreword and belly-flopped on the bed with such vigor and enthusiasm I nearly missed it completely. Naruto shot up and yelled at the top of his voice, Sasuke, instead, just jumped high enough to probably crawl back into the vent, but instead came back down and threw himself madly off the side of the bed. I threw my hands to my stomach and laughed as hard as was physically possible, and eventually slid off the bed myself due to laughing so hard.

"Ohhh," I sighed contentedly at the distressed and angry looks on their faces. "You don't really realize how much I've really missed that."

Naruto glared like a mad woman, and Sasuke knelt up and gave me a sour glance. "Do not look, unless you want to die," I looked confused, then it hit me, I practically threw up.

"EWWWWW. THE DIRTY THINGS YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN _DOING_." I lay face-down in the carpet, muttering things like 'disgusting, gross. Ewww, not that I'm a homophobe, it's just I prefer not to think about things like that. Plus, I still haven't fully worked out how that kinda thing even works…,"

"Decent," was the reply from Naruto's voice, and I peeked out to see them buttoning up a shirt, and rummaging through a draw for pants.

"So I was going to ask how you guys slept, but now I am not going too," I said, shuddering slightly, and then forget all about it, and smile brightly. "Wow, Naruto, you've grown…," I look up at him from my spot on the carpet, and then scowl. "How the hell, can you grow _more_?"

Sasuke snorted. "Only god knows. I've been wondering the same thing myself."

I looked over at Sasuke, who, hadn't grown, to my immense relief. I stood and walked next to him as he buttoned up jeans. "Still-,"

He cut me off, 'Taller, I know, always will be," he said, smirking. I scowled at him, and for a terrifying moment, his face twisted a little, into the more angular version of his lord-of-the-underworld older brother, I think he was confused over the slightly happy in a horrified way look on my face, and gave me a freaked out glance.

I shook my head to clear my vision and scowled at myself for being an idiot. "Don't worry, I just tuned out for a moment," I smiled unconvincingly at him.

He gave me a suspicious look, then went to put the kettle on, I frowned. "Why are _you_ putting the kettle on?"

He went a little red, and scowled more then usual, "I've taken a liking to caffine…,"

I let out a burst of loud laughter, "That's right! Hahahaha, ohhh, how amusing." I grinned like a mad-woman, and got out three mugs.

"So why are you here?" Sasuke asked irritably.

I smiled back, undisturbed by his anti-social disposition. "I just like to see that nothings really changed, is all. It's awfully reassuring."

Sasuke rolls his eyes, and pours hot water into his mug, and the lovely smell of fresh coffee wafts out, I survey Sasuke. Of course he is still glorious, pale and tall, perfect body, the top of it left exposed by the fact half his buttons were undone. I scowl. "I hope you wear a veil outside," I tell him. "Because half the girls here wear chastity belts. And you might have hard, large, iron keys being thrown at you if you show your face." I paused and re-considered this. "But y'know, maybe a knock to the head will do you good."

Naruto wandered into the room, with the buttons on his shirt done up unevenly and his blonde hair messy. He then promptly took Sasuke's mug of coffee and wandered back sleepily into the other room, Sasuke looked angrily after him.

"Asshole," he muttered, and went about making another cup of coffee, while I made my tea.

"Oh, and also, I came to ask something," I rummaged around in my bag for a letter, and then found it. "Does this address look right to you? I haven't had a reply from the last one, you see, and I'm just checking..," Sasuke reads it over and raises his eyebrows at me.

I scowled at him, and my cheeks went a slight shade of red. "Stop looking at me like that,"

He sipped his coffee, and shrugged his shoulders. "Sora, if he doesn't write back, have the decency not to go looking for him," he told me. "Understand he may want to forget you."

I look mildly offended. "Why would he want to forget me?"

Sasuke swallowed more coffee, and I took a gulp of my tea. "Because, you were the only thing that kept him sane, and now you're gone."

"But he can come and visit," I said, looking shocked. I really didn't understand what Sasuke was getting at.

The perfect pale young man, who kind of resembled the lord of the underworld, looked back in annoyance. "Far out, Sora, you can be a real idiot, didn't you notice the fact he loved you? For god knows what reason in my opinion."

I felt like kicking the bastard, but didn't. "I did, dumbass," I tell him angrily. "But I was wondering why he wasn't writing back, idiot," I told him sourly.

"Okay, Sora, since you can't understand straight off, I'll spell it out for you," Sasuke muttered in frustration. "Imagine, if Gaara was getting married to… er, the receptionist," I looked at him in horror at the thought. That receptionist, the paper-nazi one? Gaara? And her? Never.

"What-,"

"Shut up and listen, fool." Sasuke snapped. "Anyway, so you receive an invitation from him inviting you to his wedding. Knowing that he'll never love you back, do you go?"

I bite my lip. "I don't know,"

"Exactly," Sasuke drained the last of his coffee from the cup, and walked out of the kitchen. "My god, you really are a disabled seven year old," he teased.

This time, I did kick him. The asshole. "At least I'm not a genetic reject who has preference for the wrong sex!" I tell him angrily, and storm out the legal way.

I hear Sasuke laugh slightly, and I stormed out to the lounge room to go find Kankuro. I really, really wish that those stupid Ataksuki people knew how to stitch better, then maybe they could have stopped the scar reaching up so high.

And so I spent the early morning with Kankuro, who was still hiding out incase he accidentally ran into Kakashi.

"Serious, my plan is to just not meet him." Kankuro said, slightly pale.

I laughed. "Yeah, but you know I like to ruin all your plans."

He looked at me with pleading eyes. 'Please don't,"

I grin evilly. "Oh, I will,"

He grumbled something about 'thanks for the warning' and scuttled off into the sunset. Which wasn't due for several hours yet, but he was just getting a head start.

And so I was left with nothing to do, since Sasuke had insulted me, and I had insulted Kankuro, and Naruto, I had a feeling, had gone back to bed. I decided I'd take a walk down to the post-office and just send the letter, and hope for the best.

Luckily for me, it all went according to plan, aside from a slight language-barrier problem with a man, who, according to the manager, _did_ speak English. Which, in a roundabout way, made everything a lot harder.

And so I walked home in a good mood, after a long conversation with the apparent-English speaking post-office man, who wanted to sell me a stapler when I wanted some stamps. After realizing I didn't want the stapler, he moved onto the 1000 sheet of paper pack, which I was tempted to accept, and then accidentally drop it in the receptionist office.

Anyway, so I finally posted the letter and got home without being caught, and then, finding Shikamaru still in bed (of course) and Sakura in the shower (she'd be at least another hour and a half) I went back to Sasuke and Naruto's room, knowing that there was no way Kakashi'd be out of bed. And if Kakashi wasnt out of bed, Iruka would be inspecting the porn stash he brought, and throwing most of it out the window.

I didn't bother to knock, and walked right in, I found immediately, nothing had changed. Naruto was asleep, still, and Sasuke was onto another cup of coffee, reading some sort of novel with an actiony red and black cover. His head snapped around when he saw me.

For another terrifying moment, he turned into the Devil, but I shook my head a bit to clear the image, and sat next to him defiantly. Take that, sub-conscious.

He didn't say anything, and I almost laughed, then looked incredulously at his coffee mug. "How many?"

"Hn?" he turned to face me in a lazy way.

I motioned to the mug.

"Umm," he paused, and for a moment I could have sworn he looked mildly embarrassed, but then, y'know, Sasuke doesn't get embarrassed. So I think it was just my imagination.

"How many?" I said, narrowing my eyes.

He muttered something incomprehensible, and then took an almost defensive sip of his coffee. I grinned.

"How many, Sasuke?"

"It's good coffee," he muttered.

"_How_… _Many_?"

"Eight." He said very quickly.

"Pardon?"

"Eight." He said quickly again.

"Sorry, can't understand you…," I grinned evilly. "You'll have to speak up."

"EIGHT." He then grumbled something nasty, and returned to reading. I laughed.

"That's not good for you," I tut-tutted.

"Shuttup, Sora, go bother Naruto."

I sigh, and then complied. Only to find, it really wasn't worth bothering somebody who is practically in a coma. I returned to Sasuke's (Sasuke, _Sasuke_, Sasuke, _not_ the Devil) side, and chatted on about nothing for a while, toying with the draws under the table, it was then I spotted my demise.

"Hey, look, a pack of cards," I pulled them out. "I'll verse you," I challenge.

He looks up uninterestedly. "What game, and no."

I pout. "Slam?"

"No," he says firmly.

"Okay, I'll deal, you know how to play?"

"It's like snap, except worse, I'm not playing."

"Okay, I'll split the deck. But if it's uneven, don't blame me."

"I am not playing," he told me. I found this statement really quite strange, because, to me, there was no way he wasn't playing.

"You'll like it once we get started," I assured him.

"No, I won't."

"Yeah you will, I mean, I was right about the coffee, wasn't I?"

"Caffeine is scientifically proved to be addictive. It has nothing to do with you or me," he says defensively.

"Of course," I said in a smug voice. "_I_ _was_ the one who made you drink like ten cups in the first place."

"My point is, playing cards is not scientifically proven to be addictive."

"So you _can_ play!"

"No, I'm not."

"Deal out you half like I am," I told him.

"I'm not playing!"

"Turn the top cards over as you go,"

"I. Am. _Not_. Playing."

"Good, now, you see the leftover bunch? Flip one over like I am," I demonstrated this.

"I keep telling you-,"

"Look, you've already dealt out you're cards, it'd be a waste not to play. Think of the environment."

"Cards have nothing to do with the environment!"

"Yes they do, these are disposable. I took them out of the packet. I'll have to throw them away after this."

"No you don't."

"They're disposable! It'd be like using the same tissue twice."

"It would not,"

"It would."

"You're such an ass, Sora," he muttered angrily.

And so we played cards for most of the morning, until Sakura bounced in looking absolutely perfect. I grinned widely to see her.

"Mornin' princess," I winked.

She laughed. "Is Sasuke playing cards?"

"We have to, because I took the cards out of the packet, and if he didn't play, it'd be bad for the environment." I shook my head sadly. "Such a waste, it would be."

Sakura looked very confused, but just shrugged it off. Sasuke glowered angrily. That's what he gets for being such an ass this morning.

The scary thing is, all through out arguing, Sasuke would turn into the Lord of ze Underworld, and then back again. And then back again. And again. And again. And again. All in all, it was a generally death-defying feat.

And so the day passed, mostly in Sasuke and Naruto's room, when Naruto woke up, her Sakura and I played multiple games of Bullshit, and then coaxed Sasuke into playing. It was all in all, very uneventful in the best way ever possible.

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**P.s. didn't have time to give it another once-over vis-à-vis spelling. Uhh, so, um, sorry about that. If you notice anything, don't tell me. I'd rather not think about it. **

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	46. Christmas Cheer, all round!

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**Chapter Forty-Six:**

_Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought.__ - __Albert Szent-Gyorgyi_

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**20/12/18 **

Oh dear. Five days until Xmas. I have presents for _no-one_, and apparently they have presents for me. So, today I snuck downstairs to the nearest ATM (I say snuck, because they all think I have wonderful gifts for them) and checked how much money I had on my account. If I just asked Gaara, he'd be fine with giving me money, but I've kind of made up my mind not to use his vast quantities of it. Pity is, so has he. So we may have a problem.

Anyway, the freakishly weird person who is supplying me with money (the girl/guy who may or may not be renting my house, that it) still is, weirdly, supplying me with money. So I ran off into the distance (aka, shops) to find some things for Xmas.

List of people:

Sakura

Sasuke

Gaara

Shikamaru

Kakashi

Iruka

Kankuro

The only person I was going to have trouble with was Gaara, what the hell was I going to give him? I couldn't in all honesty buy something he'd really like. Ahhh.

Nothing truly interesting happened in the shops, but eventually I found something for everybody, and snuck back inside. I went into the bedroom and sprawled everything out on the bed. I surveyed the items with pride, I had successfully picked quite a good present for everybody.

I had, me being cheap and all, gotten free Suna clothes from the receptionist, who had those kind of resources for some reason. Sakura would adore them, she had been eyeing my outfits continuously for the last few days.

For Sasuke, I had thought about this for a long while, until in desperation I went to the bookstore to look for other gifts and, had, by chance, come across and a really nutty traditional Suna-book that made absolutely no sense (mainly due to the language thing) but the pictures told a pretty hilarious story about a boy who went out to find a fruit of some kind, but got been swallowed by a giant sand-snake, who then swallowed up his entire family. He then lived happily every after.

Literally, that was the story. He and his family were very happy living inside this big snake, who would, occasionally swallow a tender lizard or rock-wallaby, on which they would feast and have a jolly good time. Anyway, I then drew and pasted Naruto's, Sasuke's, Kakashi's, Iruka's, Shikamaru's, Sakura's and my own heads onto various characters. Sasuke got to be the boy, but unfortunately Naruto's head had to be pasted on his beautiful Suna-wife, who was very voluptuous. I got to be the rock-wallaby.

So, Sasuke's present was all sorted, I moved onto Shikamaru's. I figured every year, everybody he knew would give him books. Books, books, books. He must be tired of it. So, I got him a basketball. So he can, er, throw it at everybody who gives him books this Christmas. I don't really expect him to use it, it's just to show that I realize he is more then just a book-loving freak.

Kakashi was simple. I went and got two magazines, one was a dirty, dirty magazine that Iruka would hate me for buying. The other was a bridal magazine. Let's just say that most of the very once naked guys/girls in the dirty one are now wearing lovely suits and dresses.

Iruka, well, I knew it was stereotypical, but I found him some books. They were nice, good, translated Suna books. Interesting ones, I swear. Well, er, to him they would be.

Kankuro was a bit harder. In the bookstore, I did find a pamphlet labeled 'Cellulite: Coming to terms with your thighs' and it was very tempting, but I figured Christmas was a season for love and joy and the lot, so I didn't take it. Instead, I bought him some lovely chocolates and coffee syrup.

That left Gaara… who, I had no idea what to get. I couldn't really buy him something in all honesty, due to the fact I knew there wasn't anything he'd really want… I had been sitting on my bench, pouting slightly, being moody about not knowing what Gaara would want, when I found a picture in my wallet. It was of Me and Gaara when we were little and very much on the pudgy-side of life. Well, not really _little_. Just year ten. But we were still dangerously close to round-faced and chubby. I'd laughed when I saw it, so I instantly went off to get it printed again (in good, glossy paper) and bought a semi-cheap frame.

It was snowing. It was a bit blurry, but it was of him and me, covered in snow and stray pine-needles, almost blue from cold, laughing. One day it'll be back to that, except we'd be thinner, better looking and less dangerously blue.

I smiled fondly at the photo on the bed, and then stuff it all in the bag. I'd wrap it all later.

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**Later **

Okay, I'm wrapping presents. I can't seem to find the gang, so I assume their off being tourists, because they couldn't find me because I was off trying to find them Xmas pressies.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Few minutes past Later **

I love how Crissie pressies look, all festive and happy.

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**9:00pm **

"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU GUYS _BEEN_?" I demand, when I finally find the crew in the lounge room eating dinner.

"We went out to see Suna," Sakura explained.

I shoved my hands on my hips irritably "And why wasn't I invited?!"

Sakura looks surprised. "We asked the guards to send you down, and they said you weren't allowed to go out," she paused, almost confused. "And then told us that if we wanted them to keep their jobs, we'd just walk on by and not say anything."

I go a little red. "Stupid guards…," I grumbled, and went to serve myself a large amount of cannelloni.

We were just talking about general things when, to my absolute glee, Kankuro made the mistake of entering the room. I grinned evilly, I hadn't forgotten our little argument.

He got halfway across the room – far enough for it to be obvious if he made a break for it- before I pointed out his mistake.

"Kankuro!" I called happily. "Kannnkuuroo! Come sittdownn." Him, not really realizing his doom yet, sat down next to me. I grinned at him. "I want you to meet the gang."

Then he realized his mistake, he looked at me with growing horror, and I stared back with innocence. "Over there, with the silver hair is Kakashi,-,"

"We've met," was Kakashi's monotone, almost hostile response. His eyes were locked on Kankuro's. "He set half the science lab on fire."

"Was that in term one?" Naruto piped up.

I didn't remember this, but played along anyway. "Yeah, it was. I remember."

"Yeah, the fire-drill, we all got evacuated."

"Yeah, uh," Kankuro looked around nervously. "That was an accident."

"You dropped five lighted matches into the paper-waste bin." Kakashi told him.

"Accident.., that…," Kankuro said hastily.

"And then put my whiteboard markers, chalk, roll and three other students pencil cases in it."

"Slipped." Was the reply, as Kankuro slowly edged himself from the seat.

"And then there was the time I came into the English room," Oh dear. Poor Kankuro, Iruka was talking now. "And you were trying to sell my stationary to other kids."

"He made forty-five dollars from that one," We all turned, most of us with looks of amusement on our faces, to see who the hell had said that. Gaara was leaning against the doorframe in a posture I knew he was enjoying this. Kankuro, who had been becoming increasingly nervous, almost had a heart-attack.

"All in all, I'd say he stole… ohh, I don't know," Yeah, Gaara was enjoying this, I grinned at him, and he almost smiled back, instead he just met my eyes for a moment, and I knew he was smiling inside. "There were three chairs, a desk, two folders marked 'roll 24', two computer keyboards, a mouse, pretty sure he took a toilet seat for the hell of it," he paused in thought. "Oh, and then there was that paper-towel dispenser… three balls from the sports cupboard… and of course countless stationary." Gaara smirked, and then continued on down the hallway. I laughed aloud.

Kakashi and Iruka were now staring Kankuro down with ferocious glares, suddenly all the strange things that had gone missing were explained. I laughed again, and finally Kankuro did the smart thing and made a break for it, leaving caution to the wind and not caring if he was not subtle at all.

"Asshole," Kakashi muttered angrily. "He took so many of my bloody whiteboard markers."

"Roll 24, that was _my_ roll," Iruka said, seething. "He wasn't even _in_ my rollcall!"

And so it continued on to be a very intriguing night, I almost feel sorry for Kankuro, but he deserves it for all times he's laughed at my face.

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**21/12/18 **

Sakura and Shikamaru leave to go to Shikamaru's parents house on the 23rd. But they'll be back on the 28th, it's a pity they can't have Crissie here. Oh well.

Last night when Gaara got in I congratulated him on his absolute perfect timing vis-à-vis tormenting Kankuro, he seemed pretty inwardly proud too.

"Why'd you work so late. You could have sat down and had dinner with us," I told him, wrapping his arms around me.

"Can you really imagine me having dinner with all your friends?"

"I thought you liked Naruto."

"He's the best of them,"

I sighed. "Oh well, one day you'll get to like them,"

"Maybe," he said with a look of slight amusement on his face, then it fell. "But they won't like me."

I look appalled. "Naruto likes you!" I paused. "And I hate to say, but when you look like you do, you can be pretty intimidating. I mean, look at you!" I pull his cheek affectionately. "Hot stuff."

I laughed and he rolled his eyes. I grinned like a mad woman. "You can be so adorably moody, you know." And I kissed his cheek.

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**Hellohello! For once I am all on track. Wow, it's weird. Exams this week! AHHH! English, Marine Science, General Science, (another) English, Geoggers (urghhh. So dropped next year). **

**I may explode from stress.**

**Oh, here I go.**

**Bang. **

**The end. **

**Love you, lots! **

**P.S. please review. I am desperate for consolidation. (is that the right word? It may be a Geography term, if it is, SLAP ME. I need it. Ahh, I may explode- oh, wait, I already have. Damn, well, I don't know what to do next.) **

**Consolidation? Urban Consolidation? Consolation? Ahh! English, geo, English, geo. It's all the same. **

**Not really. I like English a whole lot more. **

**I think it's consolation… **

**Anyway, my point is… **

**REVIEW. OR I MAY GO LITERALLY INSANE, AND EXPLODE AGAIN. **

**Nobody wants that. **


	47. Sakura's News

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**Chapter Forty-Seven: **

_We're all in this alone.__ - __Lily Tomlin_

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**22/12/18 **

I sent another letter to Sound. Arrghhh. Silly woman, he is. He needs to hurry up.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Moments later **

'him' being Kimimaro, obviously.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Moooommennnttss, again. **

I do not believe Sasuke. He would reply. He _will_ reply. Damnit! I'd have to decency to at least write back to the imaginary Gaara who is marrying the receptionist to tell him, in a friendly manner, to fuck off and marry his slutty paper-nazi receptionist.

Seriously, he better at least have that kind of courtesy.

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**Afternoon, Gov'ner. **

Sakura and I went to go try on our dresses. Well, not dresses. Dressy Suna gear, to be more precise. Sakura is thrilled beyond… er, umm. I can't really say words. Well, actually I could. Because mad screaming isn't really under the 'word' category. It's under the mad screaming one.

I'm in white and gold. Puffy pants beyond the physical barriers of puffiness. Puffy like the world has never seen the likes of. They have bands at the bottom, to inhance puffiness, these are gold coloured with beads and small gold chains hanging off them, I am worried these will get hooked in my toenails and I will rip one off. Toenail, not chain. I am much more concerned about my toes then a small bit of metal.

White constricto-top. Constricto like the world has never seen the likes of. Boa-constrictors would have nothing on his baby. Over that is a wide sash that is kept together with a round gold brooch and hands down past my hips, then curves up over my shoulders in a criss-crossy manner. Embroideries around the edges. The Sasuke-Sleeves, also must be worn. Gold bands hold very puffy sleeves onto my arms.

Ahhhh, but the best is yet to come. There, to complete this deathtrap, is a _head-dress_. It is large, and makes me feel like a complete idiot. It clinks like a packet of, er… clinkers.

I am going to kill myself. Not on purpose. I will put this maniac outfit on and probably run into the Minister of Communications, skewer him with my clinker-crown, and then suffocate in my own ridiculously puffy pants.

Sakura, on the other hand, disagrees. She has the same outfit, basically, but less extravagant and in white cream. Also, she gets a small dangly-type thing to put in her hair. Not a clinker-crown head-dress. Which she will skewer somebody she is quite fond of with.

She is in hysterical happy-land. I am sitting in a café drinking some kind of caffeine-and-cinnamon drink moodily, and she is chattering on like a mad woman.

"You look absolutely gorgeous, Sorano! I love them, very, very much. You look like some kind of Arabian princess. Ohhh, I'm so jealous. It's such a fairytale wedding…,"

"I hate my life."

"I don't know why you are so pessimistic…,"

"Because I am going to kill the Minister for Communications."

"No, you're not. Why would you do that?"

"Because of that ridiculous head-dress. It will throw me off balance, also into the Minister for Communications. Who, incidentally, in the process will be brutally murdered by the pointy clinky bits."

Sakura sighed. "You look absolutely stunning. Not really how I expected… but stunning. I mean, look at you! You've grown so much."

"I have not. Don't even try to make me feel better. I'm about to commit murder, and saying 'you've grown' is the least likely way to make me feel better ever."

"Well, I didn't mean height-wise-,"

"Ohh….. thanks."

"I mean maturity-wise." She sighed. "I hardly recognized you at the train station."

I frowned. "I don't' know why, I am not that different. I just have shorter hair."

"By the way, why!? I loved your long hair. It was so _long_."

"A) it drove me nuts, and b) my scalp was being ripped off."

"Umm, okay… anyway, we've all changed, but Sora you take first prize. But I guess you've really been through the most. I mean, we can't really say we've been kidnapped."

"It wasn't that bad. And _shhhh_, people are _staring_." I look around shiftily. "It's not a really big deal."

"Sora, if I came up and told you I got kidnapped, what would you say?" Sakura looked at me sternly.

I sighed. "Okay, I would be nuts. _But_, I would be understanding and sympathetic and ask if your captors fed you enough, because mine didn't."

Sakura rolled her eyes and stirred her coffee. I sip mine and sighed, then remembered something. "Hey, so what's the news? You didn't tell me on the phone."

"You said you had an incoming call," She said defensively, and nervously stirred her coffee.

I laughed. "Yeah, and I did. It was Sasuke, and he was telling me he could come," I grinned. "So own up, what've ya done?"

She looked a little nervous. "Well, I wanted to talk then, but I didn't really have a choice… I had to act, really. Your advice would have been nice, but…," she sighed. "I guess I'd really already made up my mind in a way."

I was confused. "What? Dropping out of Uni?"

She shook her head. "No, uhh…, well…," She sighed again. "I was pregnant."

I nearly choked. "_What_?!" She was more nervous. I coughed and spluttered and almost died for a while. Eventually, I calmed enough to talk for a while, my eyes were watering from getting the coffee out of my airways. "What do you mean, 'I _was_ pregnant'?" I narrowed my eyes.

"I had the pregnancy terminated." She said, not meeting my eyes, then she went a little nuts. "I couldn't have a _baby_, Sorano! I _couldn't_. I have four more years left of University. I'd have to drop out. And we couldn't support it! At all, we just don't have the money! We get by, sure, but a baby! A child!"

I hadn't said anything, and she kept talking like a crazy person. "Don't think I'm a bad person, I know it's not really… arrghh! It's not _not_ right, but I had to consider options, Sora? … Sora? Don't tell me you think it was wrong…, please don't-,"

I shake my head to clear my thoughts. "I don't." I told her simply. "It was just a shock, is all." I sigh and smiled. "You're such a strong person, you really are."

"Was it the right thing? I'm so young, I couldn't look after a baby-," Oh god, I could tell she was going to cry any moment. I quickly paid for our coffee and bundled her out of the shop.

"Sakura, in my eyes you did the right thing. You will make a wonderful, great loving mother one day, but maybe in ten years or so. Not when you're not even twenty." I reassured her. "I mean, Shika agreed, didn't he?"

And she had been holding up, just, until I mentioned her husband's name. She burst into tears. "I don't k-know i-if he would, I-I didn't-t te-tell h-him…," She blubbered, I sighed inwardly and smuggled her home, where I got her into my room, put her hair back for her and made her a spur-of-the-moment mocha, which I am quite proud to say turned out okay.

"He would have agreed, Sakura, trust me." Well, I didn't really know that. Shikamaru was impossible to tell, but I knew that would make her feel better, so I told her that. It was logical what she did, so, really, I think Shika would agree.

"I d-don't know," She said, and blew her nose on some tissues noisily.

"It doesn't matter. You did the right thing, you couldn't have kept it."

And so the day wore on, really. I don't know what, ethic-wise, the right thing is, but in my point of view, Sakura did the right thing. If that was me, god, I would have run away and possibly sold my baby to some passing circus. I would be a terrible mother. But Sakura? She'd be a great mother, just in 20-15 years or so.

I felt terrible; I should have talked to her on the phone. Or rung back. Oh god, but how was I supposed to know it was this important? She'd just said she had news. I thought she'd just accidentally broken their computer or something and now they had to hand-write all essays, ect. Sometime little, something insignificant.

Not _this_. Not something we shouldn't have to deal with. In my head we were sixteen. Sex didn't exist. Well, it did, but not like _this_. We had snow fights, and Shika and Sakura lived with me and nobody was _married_ and everything was ahead of us. Gaara lived down the road, I had a million cats and was slightly very anti-social. What happened? Since when did things like this happen?

I was starting to get a little frantic, and quickly soothed myself, if I went nuts, I couldn't be a calming influence for the person who was in real need of help here.

And so the afternoon passed, I told stories, really. In-between that we talked about it, and then I told more stories. Good ones, funny ones. Some from sound, some from here. And eventually I went to use the bathroom, came back and she was fast asleep.

I sighed heavily, and sat down on the other chair. None of this was supposed to happen. I missed being sixteen, when everything was crazily complex and you knew it. Nowadays, it's so strangely simple it makes your brain go nuts trying to think about it. Right and wrong are, strangely, right in front of you. It's just that the one you have to pick is rarely the one you _want_ to pick.

I've had decisions like that, many, many a time. And of course I haven't always picked the best answer or action.

Sakura slept throught the night, I went and told Shika that she was sleeping over. He just shrugged and went to sleep, and I retreated back to my rooms to find Gaara looking slightly worried about the sick-looking girl on our couch.

I sighed, and leaned against him. "When did everything become so weird?" I whispered

"I take it you've had a great day," he replied quietly.

"It was interesting."

"Mmm." He shot Sakura one last slightly surprised glance and disappeared into the bedroom. I turned out the lights and joined him.

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**Hellohello!**

**IN A RUSH.**

**Love you**

**Reveiiwww, PLEASEEE. **

**Because I luurrveee youu.**

**AHH, I'M SO LATE!**


	48. How Time Has Changed Us

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**Chapter Forty-Eight: **

_The road to success is always under construction – Anonymous_

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**23/12/18 **

When I woke up, Sakura was already dressed, showered and absolutely flawless. I grabbed her and Shikamaru's Christmas presents and gave them to them when we reached the train-station. They were both heading off to Shikamaru's parents place for Crissie.

"So you can open them on Xmas Day, and all that." I explained earnestly. They seemed semi surprised, I guess they'd thought I'd forget and have it for them afterwards. Haha, that's right. Sorano is one step ahead, as always.

"Is this a basket ball?" Shikamaru asked, frowning at his _very_ circular package.

Okay, maybe not.

"Ummm, no. it's a … um, very round book." I told him in a very self-assured manner. "It makes the reading experience exciting."

"Does that mean I can open it no-,"

"No!" I say too quickly. "I mean, er, no. just don't."

"It's a basket ball, isn't it?"

"No, it's not."

"Sorano, it is. Stop lying."

"It's not."

"Look at it! If I gave this to you, what would you think?"

"Uhhh, a very round book. To make my reading experience exciting."

"Why the hell did you give me a basket ball?"

"Just get on the damned train, Shikamaru."

And so, with that lovely goodbye, Sasuke, Naruto and I (The elderly ones couldn't be bothered to come) waved goodbye to our fiendish friends. Sakura looking slightly green at the idea of meeting Shika's parents, _intimately_.

We walked back to the Kazekage's Offices alone. Well, alone as in without an entourage of body-guards. I kicked small rocks at Naruto, who would turn around, scowl at me, and then keep walking. I'd grin back widely and kick some more at him. Eventually he snapped, picked up several large rocks and lets just say if my body guards had of been there, he would have been arrested.

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**Later**.

"Sora, why did you give Shikamaru a basket ball?"

"I didn't."

"Yes, you did."

"I didn't!"

"I saw it, Sora! It was round."

"It. Was. Not. A. Basket. Ball."

"Okay, soccer?"

"No!"

"Badminton?"

"Yeah, it was _badminton_. Of course not! It wasn't a ball!"

"Gymnastics ball?"

"_NO_!"

"Was it one of those really, really large tennis balls you can get at novelty shops?"

I had a feeling I was going to kill Naruto very shortly.

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

**7:20 **

Naruto and I lay on the couch, staring at the ceiling.

"Sora, I'm so sorr-,"

"You apologize one more time and I'll never forgive you. Ever."

"Ohh… okay."

"Thank you," I paused and thought for a moment. "Hey, Naruto…," I began hesitantly.

"Yeah?"

"Have I changed?"

"What'd you mean?"

"Sakura said she didn't recognize me at the train station."

"Yeah, neither did I. Sasuke saw you first."

"Why didn't anybody recognize me?" I asked irritably.

"Sorano, have you really looked at yourself?"

"I do have a mirror in my bathroom, you know."

"No, I mean really had a good look. Here, come on." And we went and found the full-length mirror with the expensive carved- curly wooden frame in the hallway. We stood next to each other, and I frowned. A lot.

"Okay, so the one on the right…,"

"Is you."

"Yes…" I paused. "By the one on the right, is that your right, or my right?"

"Mine, and yours… we're standing next to each other."

"So… the one closest to the door is-,"

"That's me."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"And the one near the vase is me?"

"Yes."

"That vase? The purple one, that's-,"

"That's _you_, Sorano."

"Are you sure? I think you must be a little confu-,"

"Sorano! You're the one with goddamn _breasts_!"

"Ohh…," I paused, seeing no way out of that one, resigned. "I see."

Naruto sighed. "You see why we didn't recognize you?"

"A little bit, now I see me next to you… and all… I mean, I never really realized."

It wasn't just physical, the differences. They were everywhere. From the way I seemed to stand tall, even though I was a full head shorter then Naruto. The obvious was the fact I was now at lease five shades darker then him, despite my constant applying of sunscreen, my hair was now quite a few shades lighter too, from the sun exposure. So now I was a tanned, short little thing with highlights in her hair, freckles that had stood out quite prominently now blended more with the tanned skin. I had lost weight, too. Not in the lack of puppy-fat way, in the genuine weight-loss way. If it was from stress, or the fact I threw most of my food at Kankuro, I don't know. Also, it was impossible to miss. It practically changed my whole face. The ugly, vertical scar, dragging my eyebrow down at the end. I scowled at myself, and then took a double-take at the response from the mirror.

"Urgh…," I muttered. "I _hate_ my scar."

"I think it adds character," Naruto tried desperately to find a positive.

I scowled at him. "Really? The way mould adds 'character' to cheese?"

"Well, people still eat it."

"Naruto, face it. Nobody really likes blue vein cheese."

"Plenty of people do!" He said indignantly.  
"Yeah? Like ninety year old women."

"Well, you're liked by ninety year old women, aren't you?"

"Naruto! Comparing me to _blue vein cheese_ is _not_ helping!"

Naruto sighed. "Well, despite the occasional resemblance to a retarded seven-year-old, I still think you're the prettiest girl I know."

"Besides Sakura," I corrected.

He acknowledged this. "Okay, yeah, but Sakura is crazy and spends at least two hours in the bathroom. I've known you not to shower for three days, sometimes."

"Since when!?"

"Well, when we had our HSC finals, you didn't really shower that often-,"

"Okay! Okay, well, still. You were bound to get a really large scar eventually, I mean, it was inevitable."

I sighed. "I guess so. But why'd it have to bring my eyebrow into this?"

Naruto shrugged. "You need coffee, I guess this morning has been quite a shock."

"Well, I found somebody's given my highlights while I've been sleeping, compared to blue vein cheese and been told that I need to shower more," I scowled. "It hasn't really been great."

"So, coffee?"

"Coffee, yeah." I agreed, then scowled. Damnity damn damn. Go away Deidara!

We were sitting in Naruto's suit, eating biscuits and sighing occasionally. "Have I changed, Naruto?"

"I thought we just-,"

"No, I mean have _I_ changed. _Me_. Inside-wise."

"I don't know. A little bit, I guess."

"Is it a good thing?"

Naruto considered this, "I don't know. I guess you're always changing. But then again, I guess I am too."

"Stop being like my Human-Mind Sensei."

Naruto laughed. "Okay, okay… umm, yeah. A little. But in a good, intelligent way."

"Wow, that's a surprise… but I guess it's a good one… er, I think."

"Okay… actually. Maybe not intelligent… _experienced_. That's better."

"Thanks, Naruto. Thanks a lot."

He obviously took this seriously, because he kind of puffed up a little and was all "No problem, I'm always here to help." I scowled at him, but he didn't notice.

And so the day passed, with Sasuke on the couch being slightly very generally moody, and me and Naruto chatting, me occasionally calling him a dickhead, him telling me I hadn't grown and that I should be sleeping more.

"I heard it's good for growing."

"Naruto, shut up."

"Serious! Scientifically proven!"

"Naruto, you are a lanky bastard, and nobody likes you."

"No need to be nasty-,"

And with that, I practically killed him single-handedly, with nothing but a pillow and an empty cup of tea.

"Sorano! Stop putting tealeaves in my-EWWWWWW! OH MY GOD THAT'S GROSS! IN MY _EARS_, WHY!? _WHY_ SORANO!? Far-," and with that I shoved the pillow into his face again and ignored him.

"Shut up! God you guys are noisy." Muttered Sasuke grumpily. Secretly, I knew he was cheering me on.

"Sorry, Naruto, I'm to short to hear you, you're too far up for somebody with stubby legs like me to possibly hear," I say absent-mindedly, ignoring his cries for help. "Say hi to Mount Everest, while you're up there. In fact, Mars and Saturn are probably wondering where I've got too lately, too. Tell them I'm too _short_ to visit anymore!" With this last bit I took the pillow off his face and he shot up like a bullet, gulping in air.

"Far out Sorano! You could murder somebody with that thing!"

"It's an empty teacup, Naruto."

"And the pillow!"

"Yes, if only, when Deidara and Sasori and It-it… it doesn't matter whoever else had come along, if only I'd've had an empty teacup and a pillow. Then I wouldn't have this ugly scar!"

That had been close. Very close. I'd come very, very close to saying Itachi then. Shit, I mean the Devil's name. Devil's name. Not the other word occasionally used. Anyway, it had been close, Sasuke lifted his eyes from his book momentarily, but didn't recognize any of the names, thank god, and kept reading. Naruto, of course, didn't really listen. I guess he can be forgiven, because he did have a pillow on his face and tealeaves in his ears.

The day passed uneventfully after that, I was very careful not to let anything slip. I stubbornly ignored the phasing between Sasuke's face and the Devil's.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

**Hellohello helloooooooo Hellohello! **

**Hope you're all good? I'm not in a rush, for once! Ahhh, it's good to be wonderfully on time for everything. Except my Piano lesson, but I never really honestly plan to be on time for that. Plus my piano teacher is quite scary beyond nature's limits. I miss my old one, but she moved to Canada like a crazy person. If any of you Canadians out there see her around, tell her I said hi. **

**Canada isn't such a big place, is it? I'm sure finding her won't be too hard. She likes to compete in triathlons, er, start there. :P **

**Anyway, LOVE YOU. **

**Love, to-love. **

**P.s. Review! Pleeasssssssssssssssssse. Because love is in the air and Canada stole my piano teacher. **


	49. Oh, the Festivities!

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**Chapter Forty-Nine: **

_If people never did silly things, nothing intelligent would ever get done.__ - __Ludwig Wittgenstein_

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**24/12/18 **

Shit.

Christmas tomorrow, and you know what? I am the biggest idiot in the history of ever. I forgot to get Naruto a present! So, in about five minutes I am going to make a mad dash out of the building to the shops to find something for the silly boy. How the hell could I forget Naruto? I am in lots of trouble.

Well, I'm not, because he'll never find out. Ever.

Goodbye. I'm off to run to the shops like a mad woman.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Later**

Okay, I had to choose between a large tin of chocolates and three pairs of thick, woolen socks that came in green, brown and that colour purple that you can only ever find in your great-aunts house.

Naturally, I chose the chocolates. Chocolates will be fine. He'll like chocolates. Not as wonderfully thought-about as everyone else's, but he won't know. Ahhh, I feel so bad, but I guess…er, well. No excuse.

I am just going to make him a very pretty card and tell him I love him lots, so he won't suspect a thing.

The wonderful kitchen staff have put up a Christmas tree. Good timing, guys. Day before Christmas.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Wrapping Naruto's wonderfully thoughtful gift. **

Kimimaro still hasn't replied. I shall take Sasuke's advice, and leave it for a bit, and then in a week or so I will send another, that will take him totally by surprise, so he'll HAVE to reply. Because he'll be so shocked, you see.

I proposed this to Kakashi.

"Surprise attacks are hard to pull of via mail, Sora."

"This'll work. I'll scream at the paper for a while, he'll understand what I'm saying."

"You could send him a tape?" Iruka suggested. "Paper doesn't record things," He told him, frowning.

I look crestfallen. "Oh…," I look slightly more downcast. "That's only in Harry Potter, isn't it?" I sighed miserably. "Y'know, the bit where Ron's mum sends him a yelling letter? Coz he stole their car?"

Iruka patted me on the back, and refilled my teacup. Kakashi broke the news to me. "That's Harry Potter, Sorano. This is Suna, and Ron, and Ron's mum do not exist."

"I never liked Ron, so that's okay." I grinned.

"Harry doesn't exist, either, Sora."

I take a defensive sip of my third cup of tea. "Ruin my dreams, why don't you. I always wanted to be Mrs. Potter."

"I like Beatrix Potter," Iruka said absent mindedly.

I scowled at him, and drank more tea. "But Harry Potter wasn't really that attractive, was he?" I paused. "But that could have just been Daniel Radcliff, I guess." I sighed some more.

And so the day went on.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

**9:00 **

Christmas Eve, Naruto and Sasuke and Kakashi and Iruka and I are sitting in the lounge room, watching the Jim Carey version of the _The Grinch_.

I happen to know the ending, since I have watched this every Christmas since it was invented. And Before Jim Carey was born, I watched the cartoon version. But I won't spoil it, plus, there are bigger and better things to do, because I also happen to know that Kankuro is a hungry hungry woman who is hiding behind the curtains, waiting for a suspenseful bit to happen so he can dash around, shovel some pizza onto his plate and shuffle off like a crazy man.

But nobody, especially on Christmas Eve, wants him to do that. Especially me.

"Hey Kakashi," I paused, thinking the whole thing through thoroughly. "Could you open the curtains?"

"Why? Sasuke's closer." He muttered, frowning.

"Yeah, but, I think you should have the honour."

"Honour?"

"You are in the Kazekage's offices, opening the curtains is an honour!"

"Serious, Sorano, why'd you even want the curtains open?"

"I want to see the stars, is all," I tell him defensively.

"Why me?" He complained, but got up none-the-less. I saw the outline beneath the fabric stiffen. I grinned mischievously, and watched the fun begin.  
The curtains were pulled across stiffly, and underneath them the thick-thighed figure of Kankuro was revealed. Kakashi drew himself up and scowled at him. "Were you _eavesdropping_? Hoping to hear something scandalous?"

I have never, in all my years, seen Kankuro intimidated by anyone other then his lovely brother, and I was enjoying this immensely. Former-teachers, it seems, are Kankuro's weak-spot.

"N-no, sir." He squeaked, and dashed from under the curtains, but of course, being Kankuro, he did stop to haul some pizza onto him plate, before sprinting out of the room. I laughed quite a lot.

"You knew he was there?" Kakashi enquired.

I shugged. "I hoped he was, otherwise I would seem like a star-loving spaz, wouldn't I?"

…………………………………………………………………………………………….

**MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOODMORN!**

Christmas woke me with a bang. Gaara, it seemed, had the day off and so had decided in all his wonderfully festive spirit, to pop a Christmas cracker in my ear.

"SCREW YOU, I WAS SLEEPING!" And I threw all six pillows off the bed and into his face, as little bits of glitter and a few paper-crowns fluttered to the floor in a particularly annoying way. I angrily shoved a silver one onto my head, rolled over, and tried to go back to sleep.

Gaara laughed quietly, and then popped another one in my ear. I jumped nearly to the ceiling, as this time, little bits of plastic and small bad jokes reigned down. I gave up, and sat up, adjusting my paper crown angrily.

"Where did these even come from?"

"Cleaning crew, they say merry Christmas." He grinned lopsidedly. "I'll make sure to thank them, you know. I thought I'd never get you up."

I scowled at him, and picked up a joke. "Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkly?"

Gaara shrugged.

"Because…er, if they were small white and smooth they would be an aspirin?"

Gaara just gave me a strange look, and moved towards the pile of crackers, but I wasn't going to let him get another shot in, I dived for the pile, picked one up, and aimed with all my might when the mild smoke cleared, Gaara was covered in confetti.

"Red and green suit you, you remind me of Minties." I laughed.

"There's one here, if you want it."

I picked it up. "Wow, these guys shove a lot into these things, don't the-HEY!" Gaara was too quick, and I'd got confetti'd in the face.

"Red and green don't suit you. I hate Minties."

I laughed, and fell back into the pile of Christmas spirit (confetti) and popped one of them into the air. I caught a paper crown in gold and shoved it on Gaara's head, and grinned to myself. "Lovely."

We spent at least another half an hour popping the rest of the crackers, and laughing at really shitty jokes.

"Okay-okay… How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree?"

Gaara shrugged, giving me a dry look.

"Okay, ready? Ready? You wave to him! Coz he only has one arm, he'll FALL!"

"What if he doesn't wave back?"

"Gaara, he's a one-armed man, it's like _instinct_. They _have_ to wave back," I don't think Gaara was laughing at the joke, more at the fact that I was laughing at the joke.

And the morning passed fairly happily, a while later Naruto burst in like a crazy person demanding a reason for why it was eleven on Christmas morning, and I hadn't kicked him awake already. Sasuke followed, looking mildly amused, followed by Kakashi and Iruka, who were bearing gifts of wonderful goodwill.

I was sitting next to Gaara, leaning against him and idly throwing confetti and paper crowns into the air. As soon as Naruto walked in, I picked up one of the few remaining crackers and aimed it at his face, then came Sasuke, and I had the pleasure of repeating this procedure. Despite Sasuke's attempts at being the cool, calm, and collected one, I know that sudden and loud noises (eg. Me jumping from vents unexpectedly) scares the bejeebies out of him. Loud, colourful Christmas crackers fit most, if not all of those requirements, and he hit the floor like a mad woman.

I laughed a lot, and Sasuke looked like he could commit murder. He picked up a joke, read it, and glared.  
"Hey, Sorano, why'd the blonde bring a ladder to the bar?"

But I'd beaten him again. "'Coz she was told the drinks were on the house!" I shot in, and grinned widely, he threw the piece of paper at me, then picked up what I think was Iruka's present to somebody, and threw it at me too.

After a while, we vacated to the sitting room, and I made tea, and we shoved all presents to everybody on the armchair, which, to all of our secret (and not-so secret) glee, was almost overflowing, despite there only being six of us. _Six_… I sighed.

"You know who is probably all aloney on his owny, on Christmas?" I said to Gaara as I shoved some tea-bags in the recycling.

"Kankuro?" he asked absent-mindedly.

"Wow, good guess."

"You're kidding, me, right?"

"Er, no."

"He won't come in." Gaara told me, giving me a look.

"It's worth asking, I mean, he'll feel loved at least."

"Whatever."

And, so I went in search of Kankuro, who I found within ten minutes (seven of which I had stopped to share a cracker with the Minister for Communications, who happened to have left something in his office, and I was happy to see on Christmas morning) in the lounge, which was still decorated with the very large Christmas Tree.

"Cantankerrouusssss!"

"I wish you'd stop calling me that!" Kankuro snapped half-heartedly from his spot on the couch.

"I hardly ever call you that," I sniffed defensively. He shrugged, and I grinned. "Soooo, any plans for Christmas?"

"I'm not coming."

"Yes you are," I said simply, and with that, I, against all laws of physics, practically dragged him back to Gaara and my room. I think it was more sheer will combined with the absolute power of Christmas spirit then strength.

Gaara looked mildly surprised to see I'd succeeded, but just shrugged it off, and sat down. I could tell he probably wasn't that comfortable with everyone, but he wasn't gunning them down or anything, so I was very proud of him.

And so, with many cups of tea, and breakfast of biscuits, we started unwrapping presents. I just generally threw my gifts at people, and if they didn't catch them then it was their own fault.

To me general amusement, Sasuke was the first to open his. He opened the cover, and read. " '_To Sasuke, Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight, etc. Love, Sorano. 25/12/19_'" He half smiled, and open the book, and then dropped it in horror.

"Sora, why is your head on a rock-wallaby?!"

I burst into laughter, as Naruto and Kakashi crowd around for a better look and go slightly pale. "Sora, why is my head on a pair of walking boobs?" Naruto asked, in a nervous voice.

Ah, so he had seen Sasuke's _voluptuous_ wife.

"Is this person supposed to be Orochimaru?" He asked. "Because it's just a really greasy person with fangs…,"

It was true; I had liberally applied hair gel to the paper before gluing it on. It gave it a very, err, sleazy effect. I had also given it fangs.

"I'll, er, treasure it forever," Sasuke said, putting it on the arm of his chair. I laughed again.

"I know you secretly really adored it."

"Er, yes. I may never be able to look Naruto in the eye again…," At this comment, I laughed so hard I almost choked. After that huge laughing fit at the indignant look on Naruto's face, I, unfortunately, got the hiccups.

Next was Kakashi, who was looking mildly annoyed. "Sora, why do these men have wedding dresses on?" Next to him, Iruka peered over his shoulder, and promptly burst out laughing, I grinned at him.

"Because_- hic_- I think they look very pre-_hic_-tty," I paused to re-cooperate after a particularly violent hiccup. "In their bridal gowns."

"I like this one-," Iruka started, pointing to something on the page that I sincerely hoped was a wedding dress, and not some kind of dirty sex object.

"Why that one? You can't see anything! He practically belongs in a convent-,"

"I'm talking about the _dress_!"

"Oh, um…okay then…," and so their conversation continued, I shifted my gaze, to Naruto, who was eating his chocolates already, I grinned and moved on, Kankuro was examining his coffee syrup intensely, I grinned, and threw him a cracker, which we popped, and I won. Probably only because I hiccupped when we pulled and the force of it gave me the upperhand and I pulled it my way.

I shoved the crown on his head though, and he glared at me, and then unscrewed the lid and took a swig of the coffee syrup. This was so unexpected, it almost cured my hiccups. He grinned at the look on my face, and then shoved some in his mug of coffee.

I was sitting on the arm of Gaara's chair, so I hadn't seen him open his, and swiveled around to see him examining the picture with interest. I shuffled down to sit next to him and look at the photo.

"We're a bit fat, aren't we?" He muttered, and I laughed a lot, and that combined with hiccups made it very, very painful.

"_Hic_- y'know, I thought that too, but we're not fat, just a little- _hic_- er, round."

"Everything was so easy, wasn't it?"

I ran my fingers through his hair. "It was," I smiled. 'And it will be again, yo-_hic_-ou just wait. It'll be just like that, except we w-_hic_-won't be so _round_." NB: hiccups will, _without exception_, ruin all inspiration promises and/or speeches.

Everyone was excited, Naruto mainly got food from everyone, for which he was forever grateful, Iruka got vouchers from Sakura and Shika, nothing from Kakashi (ungrateful bastard, _or_ he had a '_later-on'_ present which I do not want to know about) and er, food from Naruto.

Okay, so everyone got food-related items from Naruto. Even me. I got about years supply of jelly beans. I don't even like jelly-beans that much! I think Naruto has gone nuts. But, for my birthday he did give me his mothers necklace, so I guess all can be forgiven. I still wear it.

Naruto gave Gaara a present, which he almost didn't know what to do with. I stifled a loud laugh, but then couldn't contain it when I realized he'd bought Gaara like 70kilograms worth of strawberry clouds.

What was Gaara going to do with 70kilograms worth of strawberry clouds? Er, well, feed them to me. But, still. It was pretty funny.

From Sakura and Shikamaru I got- well, from Sakura I got three pairs of lacey underwear. They were quite cool, so I have no complaints. Shikamaru gave me a voucher for a bookstore, which I don't really know what I'll do with. But it expires in like 15 years, so I think I'll have plenty of time to use it.

One of the best gifts came from Iruka and Kakashi, strangely, they gave me a train pass for next year, all paid. They were the ones who had constant income, but I was still very surprised.

"So you can visit us every weekend. And you have no excuse." Iruka told me, I just hugged them both madly and apologized to Kakashi for covering his porn with bridal wear.

Sasuke's, it was kind of like my present to Gaara. It was a small, ragged piece of paper in a tiny frame. Sasuke grinned widely when I read it. "I wasn't going to show you, but I figured you needed reminding of the lovely person you used to be."

I threw some Jelly Beans at him, hiccupped, and read.

_Sasssukke, _

_English is boring. Going nuts… think Iruka got a haircut? Not like you'd care or notice. But y'know, maybe you could comment. Tell him you think it's good. _

_**Why on earth would I tell Iruka his haircut's good? **_

_Because he doesn't look like he's having a good day! _

_**And me telling him his (non-existant, by the way, he has **_**not**_** changed) haircut looks good will fix it. **_

_I think it will. Look at this, ready? _

_Sasuke, your haircut is absolutely amazing. You are the hottest person I have met I my entire eternity. You could be a male-model. If you didn't have a preference for men, I'd date you. Seriously, it's crazy. You're so hot, um, my er… right side is about to burst into flames. _

_See? Didn't you feel the magic in that? Didn't it just brighten your day? _

_**Okay, firstly, I am keeping this piece of paper. Secondly, you expect me to say that to my English teacher? **_

_**You do know people get put in prison for that kind of thing? **_

"I have it photocopied, so tearing it up won't make it not true," he smirked. "You find me hot."

"WH-_hic_-HY DO YOU OBSESS OVER THAT!?" And with that, I tackled him, hit him with the stupid photo-frame. "I DON'T FIND YOU HOT, I AM NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU!"

"That- AHH!- ouchhh!," he paused to splutter angrily at the fact I'd shoved Jelly Beans down various articles of his clothing. "That isn't what that says!"

"I WAS MAKING A POINT!"

"You were just looking for an excuse to tell me- OWW!" Again with the Jelly Beans.

"I was _not_! NOT, NOT, NOT!"

"Face it, you're right side is about to burst into flames, isn't it?"

"YOU ARE SO OBNOXIOUS, I COULD KILL YOU!"

"You're the one who admitted it- What the hell is with the _jellybeans_ their melting _everywhere_!"

"It's coz you're _too hot_ Sasuke, and because of that, you will now have jelly beans _soldered to your naval_, you self-obsessed _bastard_-," I stopped dead, and then hugged Sasuke madly. "I love you, you know why?"

Sasuke went ridged. "Why?" he muttered warily.

"Because, you cured my hiccups, you lovely, lovely boy."

While this was happening, Naruto had taken the present and was reading it, and had promptly practically had a seizure vis-à-vis laughing too hard. Iruka had said indignantly "I _did_ get a haircut!" and Kakashi laughed out loud.

Gaara was watching the whole scene with mild bewilderment on his face. I met his eyes and grinned widely, he shrugged slightly, and I continued to tell Sasuke how lovely he was.

After that scene was over, everyone continued observing their presents and chatting idly. I considered it a good Christmas: train pass, book voucher (err, well, I can… er, buy books with it), lacey underwear, lifetime supply of jelly beans (did he win them off the radio or something!? What kind of retail outlet even stocks that many jelly beans?!) and hilarious note which I shall treasure forever.

"Sasuke, tell me, why'd you keep this?" I asked, surveying the note again.

He shrugged. "I said I would."

"You've also said you're going to kill Naruto several times," I give him a meaningful look. "You haven't exactly done that, have you?"

He shrugged. "But that's easy, I just need to pick up some kind of life-threatening STI/STD somewhere."

I let out a short bark of laughter, then caught sight of Naruto's glare, I grinned back sheepishly. "I mean, terrible joke. Terrible, really. AIDS is nothing to laugh about."

Naruto went back to eating chocolates.

My stomach grumbled, and I looked at the clock, it was now one in the afternoon, I look over to my left, where Kankuro had been. Of course, I think blandly, lunch was served an hour ago. Of _course_ he's gone.

I stand and shake off the layer of wrapping paper, and grin. "Lunch?" I suggested. This was greeted by agreement all around, and we all filed out, I stopped and turned to Gaara, who was sitting on the chair half-smiling at me.

"I don't expect you to come out, I know, you might explode from the social intereaccttt-," I was cut off, because to my surprise he had gotten up and kissed me on the mouth.

"I have something for you," he said, and wandered off abruptly. I blinked, still a little shaky from the kiss, and then frowned. I hadn't expected anything, I mean; I'd only given him a photo of us looking _round_ in a cheap frame. He came back, and handed me a small box, I warily opened it, but somewhere inside I kind of knew what it would be.

The ring was simple, a band of silver with small white stones (I didn't even want to think about what they were, for fear they might be expensive) imbedded in it. They didn't stand out from the ring, but sat flat in their little crevices. I looked at it and swallowed. "Aren't I supposed to get this on the _wedding_ day?"

He grinned slightly. "Consider this an engagement ring."

I put it on, and it fit my ring finger a bit too snugly, but that might have just been my imagination. "It looks perfect." I said quietly. "Thank you." And I kissed him gently, when I pulled away I surveyed him and smiled, and then kissed him again, harder, and I clung to him with a kind of weird fear.

He eventually pulled away from me, and I rested my lips on his collarbone. "I need to go to the office," he murmered.

I pulled back. "What!? On Christmas?"

"Just because it's Christmas doesn't mean nobody will try to bomb my country today." He told me simply.

I sighed, and kissed him again. "I love you," I paused and smiled. "Don't get bombed, okay?" And I sighed, and went to join the others for lunch, as I went; I removed the ring from my ring finger and put it on my middle finger. "Just in case… only to stop the others from asking questions. No other reason, okay?" I muttered to myself, and walked into the lunch room.

****

**LOOOOOONG update, because I LOOOOOOOOVE YOU GUYS TO BITS. Really little bits, too. **

**But I love them all. Every one of them. **

**I have three top tips for whoever asked about the writing, (you forgot to log in, it was anonymous)… anyway, um forgive me for being crazily hypocritical in any spots, because I know I have very large flaws.**

**1. **_**THE SUMMARY COUNTS FOR EVERYTHING. **_**Don't care if you think it doesn't, you see a story that says 'Yumi is a beutiful, icy princess who can't b close to any1. but whatll happen when a sexy stranger turns up? how will she manage her mysterious tragic passed? ****EVERYONE****xOC, review pleezzz!' and you don't honestly want to read it, do you? Even an average one doesn't really draw attention. Really put effort into your summary, add humour, don't give things away, but don't be way too vague. I'm probably being **_**really**_** hypocritical, but y'know… just speaking from experience.**

**2. Personality is the key. Not only your characters, you must shove your own personality into every little crevice. It involves the reader, and brings them closer, it lights up everything and without personality, nothing is funny. Imagine telling a joke in the blandest voice possible. Something about really putting your heart into things makes a big difference. **

**3. TEXT-TALK IS DEATH. (Isn't much to that one, it's pretty simple, grammatical errors people should be a little forgiving about, but text-talk is the language of the unimaginative… in stories that is, everywhere else it's okay, really. Well, depending. Don't put text-talk in your English essays, kids.) **

**Anyway, THANKYOU. A LOT. BEYOND A LOT. I LOVE THEE, SO MUCH. **

**Forsooth? What is that? Am I the west… and er, the lovely reviewer is the east? Wait, no, it's the sun isn't it? Arise fair reviewer! And slay thy ugly, jealous moon for er, doing something annoying. **

**Okay, so I didn't do too well in last years Shakespeare unit, okay?**

**LOVE YOU LOTS. **

**Love, to-love. **


	50. Arms Race

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**Chapter Fifty (**_**Far out**_**! Fifty?! **_**Already**_**!? I still have **_**so much**_** to go!):**

_Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.__ - __Albert Einstein_

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*****

The rest of the afternoon passed generally well, we played many, many games of cards, including one very violent game of Spoons (five spoons, six players, several bruised hands and broken hearts) and about three or four rounds of 500, where we all got thoroughly annoyed at our partners (I was with Kankuro, who I think could have killed me by the end of it). It went something like this:

"Okay, I bid… six spades."

"Pass,"

"Pass,"

And of course, it came to me. But unfortunately beforehand, I happened to spend most of the time staring at Naruto cards (because he sucks at hiding them) and become very overconfident.

"Eight hearts," I say smoothly. Kankuro turns a little pale and gives me a worried glance.

Naruto doesn't see anything weird about this, and looks forlorn. "Pass," he muttered.

"Eight hearts it is, then," Kakashi would mutter. Then it would hit me that I had bid on Naruto's cards, and Naruto is an idiot and passed. I go a little pale, and look desperately in the Kitty. Finding nothing, I wing it all vigor I have and lose every trick to a now very confused Naruto.

"You bid on Naruto's cards again, didn't you?" Kankuro hissed at me, as I lost another hand.

"No," I lied quickly. "I just, er, was bluffing… a bit too well."

"You don't bluff in 500!"

"Yes you do!"

"That _poker_, you loser!"

"Yeah? Well you still bluff in 500!"

"Urgh, you're such a prat, Sora."

And so the evening continued, I would have liked Gaara to be there, with him I would have won quite a few tricks. Instead of ending up on negative 470 by the end of the game… nobody won, we all just got too frustrated with Naruto somehow getting every good card in the pack and not bidding. Especially Sasuke, who eventually told Naruto that on the fourth round it's custom to switch cards with their partner.

"But they haven't….," Naruto started.

"Yes they have, they've just already done it,"

"Oh, okay, here you go Sasuke,"

With that magical hand alone, they won the nine tricks they bid for, the bastards. I then told them on the fifth hand its custom to give you're hand to the person on the right, but Naruto didn't fall for that one.

Christmas dinner was not eventful, but it was delicious. I got back to the room at eleven, and found it empty, sighing, I showered and went to bed.

Of course, Gaara's in the office… Just because it's Christmas doesn't mean that nobody will try to bomb his country today.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**26/12/18 **

In honor of Boxing Day, I hit Naruto with a pillow.

I took the legal way to his and Sasuke's rooms, and found them both sleeping. At least they had the decency to have pants on this time around. I leaped on the bed in-between them both joyfully, and they both rolled sideways off the bed in surprise. I smiled gleefully at them, Sasuke was the first up, as he was trying to maintain his composure, but Naruto had hit his head on the bedside table and was practically crying.

"Oh, get up," I sighed and helped him up, he glared at me.

Sasuke came back and sat on the end of the bed with a shirt on (I'd never tell him, but it made it a lot easier to concentrate, he _must_ have been working out.)

"_Why_ are you here so _early_?" He complained, as he stretched and yawned.

"Because Gaara left half an hour ago and you can only drink so many cups of tea on your own."

"Don't you get annoyed at him leaving so early and coming back so late?" Naruto asked, running a hand through his hair and rummaging through a bag for a shirt.

"Yeah, but he's the Kazekage, you kind have to expect it, don't you?"

"I guess…," Naruto pulled out what he had been looking for, a plain white shirt, and pulled it over his head. "There," he said happily. He was obviously proud with himself for this feat.

I roll my eyes, and go to find Sasuke. "Cup of tea, please, no sugar, small amount of milk." I tell him and sit on his couch.

"White, two sugars." Naruto muttered, and sat down next to me.

"Since when am I making them?" He muttered angrily, but none-the-less pulled another two cups out of the cupboard.

"Shika and Sakura come back tomorrow." I told them.

"They won't be in a good mood," Naruto replied.

"Why?"

"Well, they've just been on a… I think four hour train-trip, from Shikamaru's _parent's_ place, if Sakura is a happy girl when she arrives…. For no other reason then to see us all again, I will chop off my arms."

"Violent bet, willing to wager?"

"My arms?"

"Yeah,"

"Okay….," Naruto looked wary. "If I lose, what will you do with them?"

"I dunno, sell them?"

"Oh, okay. That's fine then. Dea-wait… what do I get?"

"Uhh, half my supply of Jelly-Beans."

"Deal." He said happily.

I shrug and shake his hand. Sasuke looked at us both as if we are mad, and handed us our tea. The morning passed fairly serenely, only a few arguments over silly things. But Naruto didn't seem to call his arms a 'silly thing' and got slightly ticked off when I referred to it as that.

"You shouldn't have bet them away, then!"

"Sakura hasn't come back yet!"

"I'm sure she'll get along with Mrs. And Mr. Shikamaru just fine."

"Their last names aren't Shikamar-,"

"Sh! I will not take impertinent behavior from today's youth like that!"

"What the hell, So-,"

"Far out you two are _annoying_!" Sasuke had, fortunately for the both of us, snapped.

This bet, it seemed would favor me either way. I get rid of about half a ton of Jelly Beans, or I get Naruto's arms. I'd prefer to get rid of half my lollies, but y'know, owning Naruto's arms might be amusing.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**11:00pm **

I hate Spoons. I swear Sasuke cheats, he has like a spare spoon under his chair incase he looses. I may have broken my hand.

I swear, it's only Naruto and I that lose, _ever_.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Sorry it's so short, very busy. **

**I HATE GEOGRAPHY. Who in the name of baby Jesus decided it's a great idea to force poor kids to study Soil Salinity **_**and**_** Urban Growth & Decline **_**all in one term**_**!? Okay, more importantly, who decided that we should study GEO in general!? Arrghh, I could hack them to bits, I could. **

**Anyway, LOVE YOU ALL. You keep me, er, sane enough to be let out in public. I hope you are all in great health, and are having the times of your lives. **

**TALLY-HO! Good chums, I bid thee fare-well! **

**Love youu!**

**Love, to-love. **


	51. Slip Up

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Chapter Fifty-One:**

_You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. – Mark Twain _

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**27/12/18 **

Gaara found out that we'd be collecting Shika + Sakura from the train station today, and had a guard waiting for us. I have a weird feeling Naruto gave us away, as he went quite red when I loudly expressed my hate for whoever told Gaara I'd be going out.

The guards just laughed.

Ahhh, screw them all. Stupid gits, they just like the excuse to go out with somebody who doesn't care if they swear in their presence.

Sasuke said he couldn't be arsed going out in the sweltering heat, and Kakashi and Iruka quickly followed his lead. Naruto decided to brave the outdoors and come with me. I don't think the gang have been handling the heat well, their air-con is _always_ on, and if I come in and turn it off and open a window they practically assassinate me for attemped murder. Serious, it's like they've never sweated in their entire life.

Naruto was having one of those moments now. "Farrrrrr out, Sora! How do you stand this!?"

"It's called tolerance, Naruto. And sunblock."

"Sunblock? I hate to say it, it's not done much to you, you're black now, remember."

"Yeah, and you're like pastey white!"

"Shuttup, at least I don't have an ugly scar that makes me look like a-," he didn't have time to finish his sentence, I'd motioned for the guards to take him down, and put him into custody they did with the greatest pleasure. I had a feeling they had developed somewhat sincere feelings towards me, despite my attempts to get them all fired.

I grinned to them, as they carried Naruto around with ease, still talking idly about their weekends, children or wives.

I gave them all a thumbs-up and told them not to put him down until we get to the train station.

Naruto just gave me the dirtiest looks he could muster.

We arrived at the train station at quarter to twelve, and so were about fifteen minutes late. An indignant and mildly offended couple met us there, and then asked us why we were so very late.

I kindly explained to her she must be mistaken, because we were not the friendly Satsuma-vendors from down her street, but Sorano and Naruto, who were hear to collect their friends from the train. She walked off in a huff.

And so we then sat down to wait for Sakura and Shikamaru, who turned out to be in the bathroom, for the few minutes we were assaulted by the elderly couple.

Sakura, it turned out, was a very unhappy girly, and complained that she didn't even have time to shower that morning with Mrs. Shikamaru's crazy water-restrictions. So I promptly handed over a good three-quarters of my Jelly-Bean stash. Naruto looked surprised. (I'd only bet half, but I wasn't going to waste the opportunity, acting on Gaara's pleas, I'd also thrown in a good third of his strawberry-clouds, but hidden them underneath the beans, I figure I'll just tell Naruto that that's what happens when Jelly Beans go off, and he'll believe me.)

"I mean, it's not that important, you can keep them if you-,"

"NO! I mean… uh, I brought them all the way here, so you could have them! And plus, a bet is a bet. And I lost, Naruto, you may keep your arms."

"Serious, you can keep the beans too…,"

"Nooo, if I keep the beans, I get your arms."

"Can't we just not loose anyt-,"

"No, we can't. It's against the rules. Go on, I get your arms, then."

"_No way_-,"

"-What are you guys talking about-,"

"-Shutup," we both told Shika immediately, and returned to arguing about who got what. Sakura just walked and chatted idly with the guards, who were retelling the story of how they heroically rescued me from a blonde idiot only an hour or so ago. I saw Shikamaru look mildly annoyed at the fact the guards were flirting ceaselessly, but I think he's too lazy to do anything about it.

Or, he is intelligent enough to know he'd get the shit kicked out of him if he tried anything. I think it's a mix of both….yeah, definatly a bit of both.

The walk back, then, was uneventful, and we arrived home, where Shikamaru went to discuss something with Kakashi, and Sakura immediately began tell me how Shika's mother was partially insane and wouldn't let her cook anything- not even a glass of water.

"… And then I tried to put the kettle on, and she told me she'd do it! And I said, 'no, no, I can… I don't want to trouble you,' and she was all 'no, no, I will' and I was like 'serious, I can make a cuppa by myself' and she's all 'dear, I don't want you to bother yourself' and then-,"

"-OKAY! I get it, she's nuts."

And so the conversation continued, it was all very exasperating.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

**28/12/18 **

Sasuke, me, Naruto, Shika and I were all in the drawing room. Iruka and Kakashi were off looking about Suna again, and Sakura was in the shower.

"So your parents was hell-," Naruto started.

"I don't want to talk about it," Shikamaru cut him off moodily.

"Ohh, okay then…," Naruto shot me a look, which I returned with raised eyebrows.

"Touchy…," I said.

"I guess the whole parent-meeting inlaws type scenario is full of hilarious misadventures… well, that's what it was like in _Meet the Parents_, anyway."

"My father is _not_ a crazy CIA agent!" Shikamaru said indignantly.

"Sure, sure…," I give him a shifty glance, just to let him know I do not agree, then I just shrug. "But it doesn't make meeting the inlaws any better, remember that time I was your girlfriend, Sasuke?"

"Sorano, I said _no_, remember?"

"Sasuke you damn well know what I'm talking about!"

"We've _never dated_, Sora. I am sorry you can't get over me, bu-,"

"I _hate_ you. I hate you so -,"

"Sora, I remember when you were Sasuke's girlfriend," Naruto interjected, to try and stop the brewing argument.

"Good, anyway, then meeting the inlaws was scary."

"Sora, I said _no_! We're _not_ married, remember?"

"Oh shut up, you're so _obnoxious_, I could kill you!"

"Try and erase the memory, Sora, it'll never really happen."

"ARRGHHH!" and with that, I threw everything within reach of him. I shouldn't let him get to me, because I know he just likes stirring. But he's just so bloody _up himself_.

Sasuke, in a weird bout of split-personality disorder, laughed. I couldn't be angry at him when he was laughing, so I laughed too. So did Naruto, but I had a feeling he actually found the situation funny.

And I drifted in and out of alertness, and the first spill happened. It had nearly happened twice before, but this time it came out clear, and I didn't even notice. Maybe that's what saved me- I didn't even notice.

"Far out, I swear you are the single most loveably obnoxious person I will ever meet, Itachi, and one day I will god damned kick that huge head from your shoulders if you're not careful."

And for a moment my whole world went quiet, I stopped breathing, but luckily, Naruto hadn't noticed and Sasuke was distracted with something on the end of his armrest, but Shikamaru was looking at me as if I was mad. I looked back, and tilted my head to one side.

"What did you just say?"

"Huh?"

"Sora, what did you just say?"

"I said Sasuke is obnoxious." I told him pertly.

"No you didn't…," Shikamaru's eyes narrowed, and I looked away hurriedly. My insides were cold, this wasn't just some little thing like vents or breaking the curtain rail in Kankuro's room, this was life or death, if anybody worked anything out, I'd lose at least two people in one go. And everyone else would follow. I would lose _everything_. I would lose Gaara…

"_Yes_, I _did_." I would just convince Shika I said 'Sasuke' and then avoid him. He would never know. "I think you're nuts, Shika."

"Sora, don't -,"

"Shika, you're nuts, face it."

"Sora-,"

"Nuts!"

"S-,"

"NUTS!"

"Sora you-,"

"NUUTTSS!"

"YOU ARE SO _AGGRIVATING_!" And with that, he stomped off like a madman. I breathed a sigh of relief. Even if Shika did process what I said, he wouldn't tell anybody… would he? And worse, he wouldn't draw any weird conclusions from it… would he?

No, I am just paranoid. Nobody would, that's stupid. If Sakura accidentally said 'chouji' instead of 'Ino' I wouldn't think she was having an affair. I'd just thing Ino had gained weight…

There is no way in hell anybody would come to that conclusion, the worst that could happen is that he figures out I met with Sasuke's brother. And then, I will tell him some of it, and if worst comes to worst, I'll tell him about how Itachi was forced into the murder. That will satisfy him. I may feel bad for betraying and using The Devil's personal life, but in desperate times desperate measures must be called for. Shika will not tell a soul, and I cannot be discovered… it will work. I'm sure of it.

And as I was sitting there, thinking this through, and becoming more confident about the situation, I looked around. Sakura had walked into the room, complaining about an angsty husband, and had sat down and smiled brightly.

I looked at Naruto, I looked at Sasuke. What did these people hide? I couldn't be the only one. What kind of horrors did these people have? Regret? Sorrow… loss. Remorse. I couldn't be the worst, there is no way. It's just people do things nobody would expect, and for all I know, these people could have done things I would never guess.

But I still love them…I have to wonder, though, do they look at me and thing the same thing I'm thinking? Do they see me and think 'what has she done?'

I can't imagine it… but I'm sure that they'd have something that at all costs, nobody must know. Something so obviously _wrong_ that there would be no excuse. I grimaced then, because there was the difference- I didn't regret what I did. And that, that means a lot.

And then I smiled unexpectedly… last summer Naruto had his- he hid Gaara's letters. Something nobody would have thought he'd do, it's just he was caught at it… Did Sakura tell him off? Was Sasuke angry I'd found out? I don't know… but _I_ won't be caught.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**29/12/18 **

"Are we going out for NYE?" Sakura asked expectantly.

"Arrghhh, do we have too? I have no good clothes, only old jeans which haven't been washed, because the washing people have a 'wanted' sign up in their room with a picture of my jeans on it, and an instant order to destroy them…. Anyway, other then that, I only have ridiculously puffy pants."

"Yeah, but you look _good_ in ridiculously puffy pants!"

"Sakura, I am not partying or anything."

"NOT FAIR!"

"I will go out to dinner. That is all."

She sniffed. "Fine, but _I_ get to pick."

"No clubs. They do _not_ count as dinner-type places."

"….Fine."

"And nothing nuts, something normal."

"…._Fine_." she said grudgingly.

"Something small and quiet and nice-,"

"FINE! I'm going out to look now! Where's Naruto, he'll want to come…," and she trotted off looking slightly offended, to find Naruto and get him to help her choose food. He, of course, _would_ want to come as it involved his dinner choices.

So I spent the rest of the afternoon in Sasuke's company, drinking tea and playing cards. He has become quite good at Slam, and I find it my public duty to make sure he doesn't beat Naruto too much, because then he might get this weird impression he's amazing.

And trust me, nobody wants that.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**SORRY I HAVENT UPDATED IN YEARS. Our Internet went haywire for a while, but seems to be behaving itself now. **

**Anyway, I LVOE YOU. ALOTALOTALOT!!!**

**Thanksthanks, **

**Love, to-love. **

**p.s. no time to spell-check, sorry if it's all mental. **


	52. To Never Grow Old

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Chapter Fifty-Two: **

_Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work - __Thomas A. Edison_

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**7:00 **

Had to go to another last-minute fitting, because the people suddenly had a fit over my size. I complied, answered a few questions over colour choice, and ran home quickly. Gaara was in early for once, looking mildly pleased.

"No assassination attempts, bomb threats, or terrorist attacks." He suddenly looked worried. "Nothing." He blinked, and then furrowed his brow. "Not even a box with rotting vegetable matter in it-,"

"-_What_?"

"It's happened… anyway, _nothing_…,"

"Gaara, that's serious, you know what that means….," I feigned dead-seriousness.

He looked at me questioningly.

"Really, it has to be dealt with now; I don't know why you didn't think of it earlier! What kind of ruler are you!?"

"I'm not a ruler; I'm a publicly elected represent-,"

"-, I don't care… But do you _understand_ this!? Do you know what _this means_!?" I got slightly more frantic.

"What?" I'd obviously fooled him, because he looked mildly concerned, I leaned in and motioned for him to come closer, he did so.

"Gaara, you do know you're a politician…,"

"Yes…,"

I dropped my voice further, and he leaned closer to listen "And you do realize, what your job as a politician is?"

"Yes…," he looked confused, now.

"THEN WHY IS YOUR COUNTRY DOING SO BLOODY WELL!?" I exploded, and he jumped back about fifty meters, swearing at me like a madwoman. I laughed a lot. "Get it? Get it? I'm implying that politicians only wreck the coun-,"

But he'd thrown everything in reach at me, and I couldn't finish my sentence, because half the contents of the table had came flying at my face.

"Well, I liked my political joke, I thought it was quite cleverrrrrrrrrrr-AHHH!!" I ducked again.

"Why didn't you just say it at normal bloody stupid volume?!" He yelled heatedly, glaring at me. I smiled back from behind the couch brightly.

"Because I thought it added to the impAAACTTTTT-," A small vase of fake flowers had come hurtling through the air to my vicinity.

"I don't care about impact and you're jokes _stink_! You just scared the _living daylights out of me_! SORANO YOU'RE SERIOUSLY DISTURBED! WHO DOES THAT!?"

I laughed a lot at this, until I was finally hit in the neck by some sort of stapler, and resigned to have a shower before he tried throwing paper-weights.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**29/12/18 **

"Wow… New Years, soon."

"I know… how weird."

"Y'know, I kinda don't want it to come."

"Why?" This puzzled me; I'd always welcomed the new year.

"Because… Well, because we've been through so much, and it's just settling down. A new year means we have to go through something really terrible all over again…," Naruto sighed, and looked kind of embarrassed.

I laughed. "No it doesn't, we'll be fine."

"And plus, look at us…," He sounded much more sad in this comment.

"Whatcha mean?" I asked.

We were both lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling. Naruto had seemed moody a couple of days ago, and it had just gotten worse closer to the New Year.

"We're all getting…getting so _old_."

And then it hit me, he was right. We were nineteen, and Gaara was twenty… I would be twenty soon. Twenty. And then what? Some people had children in their twenties… It was like my life was half over.

"Old…," I paused. "Oh my God."

"I know," he sighed. "I don't want to grow old, Sorano. We're not meant too."

And for a fleeting moment, I felt like bursting into tears. "We're not.... are we?" I couldn't imagine Gaara and me, sitting on a porch with wrinkles around our eyes, watching grandkids. I didn't want to be a _grandparent_! I didn't even think I wanted to be a _normal_ parent!

"I… oh my God…," and I sighed. "We'll just…. We won't grow up, okay?"

"But ho-,"

"No, no… okay, here we promise." I suddenly sounded much surer then I thought I was. "We will not grow old."

"But-,"

"No, think of Peter Pan. He didn't grow up… and according to him, all you had to do was think about it hard enough."

"Sor-,"

"YOU'RE NOT BELEIVING HARD ENOUGH! I CAN SEE THE WRINKLES COMING THROUGH!"

"Sora-,"

"Naruto, either you're in, or your out."

He looked torn, but then laughed. "You know what, I'm in."

"We will not grow old." I said simply. "Because I think it's pretty much impossible."

"How?"

"Well, think about it, how can _we_ grow old?"

"Well, over time our body disintegrates and slowly diminishes and our minds grow unheal-,"

"No, we let age take over. It's a disease, you don't let it in, it can't hurt you."

"What?"

"Just believe me. Don't think about it, and don't believe in it, and it won't touch you."

"I think you're mad, Sora. But I'll try, because I don't want to get crow's feet on my face…,"

"Fair enough, mon amigo. But you must put your heart and soul in it." I tell him sternly. "Never stop living, that's the secret. It's funny how so many people can't understand that's the only thing you have to do in order to not die…,"

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**30/12/18 **

After that conversation with Naruto, I decided not to dwell on the subject. I just shrugged, and remembered that I planned to be Peter Pan, and never grow old. I don't care if there was a moral to that story that said it wasn't good to never grow up, but I plan not to all the same.

Sakura and Naruto had also managed to find a decent place, and made a booking, she had included Gaara, but I informed her that there was possible close to zero chance of him attending. I could hear him now, 'just because it's New Years Eve doesn't mean nobody will bomb the country' I sighed. I guess he is the Kazekage, and he is allowed.

Also, began thinking of New Years Resolutions. Couldn't think of any, but did resolve for my New Years Resolution _not_ to be to think of a resolution for next year. I would be something good and wonderful and meaningful.

When I told Naruto this, he just laughed, and said his was probably, once again, to:

stop biting his nails

get back into University, preferably in Konoha

be nicer to Sasuke (which I highly doubted would do any good to deflate Sasuke's large head)

And to my surprise, the fourth was:

Stop eating so much Ramen

At this, I had almost chocked on my tea. "What!?"

"Well, it is packaged and dried and I know preservatives have something in them that's not good for eyesight… and well, they just aren't really that good for me. And plus, living forever requires a good standard of bodily health." He told me. "I've done my research."

I laughed. "Fair enough, just don't tell anyone that fourth one,"

"Why not?"

"Because they'd never forgive you. Ramen is your stereotype, love, nobody would be able to look you in the eye ever again if you told them you were not going to eat ramen ever again."

"Why not!?" he paused. "And I'm not going to eat it never again, I'm just gonna not eat so much…,"

"Imagine…. Okay, imagine if I told you my New Year's was to start being a normal person."

"I'd never forgive you." He said promptly.

"Exactly."

"But that's not fair! You get to be lovable for eternity, I get to have high cholesterol levels and bad eyesight!"

I shrugged. "It's just the way the world works."

He was moody about this, to my amusement, for the rest of the day. And when asked why by Sasuke, he told him he wasn't allowed to say, because then he'd never look him in the eye again. Sasuke seemed worried by this, because of course it sounds a whole lot worse then it really is.

I just like messing with Naruto, to tell the truth.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**5:09pm **

Naruto, "I DON'T WANNA ONLY EAT NOODLES FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY

Me, "WELL YOU HAVE TOOOOO!"

Naruto, "NO I DON'T!"

Me, "YES YOU DO, SASUKE ONLY LIKES YOU BECAUSE YOU EAT LOTS OF NOODLES!"

Naruto, "…WHAT!?!!!!??"

But by that time, I was in total hysterics, and nothing could ever stop me. He obviously didn't notice my underlying meaning in the 'Sasuke only likes you coz you eat lots of noodles' comment. But oh well, maybe it was too subtle for his sense of humor.

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

**9:56**

Arghhh. Gaara still hasn't come in. HOW BUSY CAN THE HOLIDAY SEASON GET? Just slap some double demerit points on the road-signs and be done with it.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

**Hello hello mon petite escargot(s)! **

**I LOVE YOUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Ect. but no time now for declaration of love and/or devotion! Now is the time to ACT! Well, act, or just apologize for leaving you all for a week&1/2 to 2weeks. Depending. **

**I'm off to Experience some Work, in something us Aussies lovingly call Work Experience. And the best part about it? WE ****DON'T**** GET PAID! We are geniuses, here in Australia. Making a device that allows schools to force teens to work for no money at surrounding workplaces. SLAVE LABOUR, THAT'S WHAT THIS IS!**

**So anyway, I am going to go wrangle some horses for a living for a week in Sydney, so wish me well! I may/may not come back with my brain intact, because if I had the choice I wouldn't experience work. Ever. But, y'know. I probby have to sometime or another. **

**Anyhoo, I LOVE YOU. I know I have somebody to come home to (Besides my nutty mother) with you guys here. **

**Have a good week, AND HAPPY EASTER. Wishing you all many eggs. **

**Love, to-love. **


	53. NYE

……………………………………………………………………………………………

**Chapter fifty-three: **

_Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.__ - __Redd Foxx_

……………………………………………………………………………………………

**31/12/18 **

Oh my god, it's the last day of the year. I got up this morning, and there was no sign of Gaara having been back to the room, so I sighed and pulled on something more respectable and walked to his office, where I found him fast asleep in a (Most likely accidental) self-fashioned bed of paperwork.

I gently shook him awake, but it was all worth nothing because he still jumped and sent his paperwork bed flying about the room.

Once we'd both collected the paper which was now scattered about on the floor, he rubbed his temples and stretched. "I fell asleep, didn't I?"

I grinned and nodded. "Looks like it."

He sighed. "Holiday season, complaints everywhere, coming in from every possibly outlet." He clicked the space-bar on his computer a couple of times and it buzzed to life again, and instantly loud alerts sprung up, accompanied by annoying sounds.

I grimaced at the screen, and then shut the laptop. "Come on, you need a mental health da-…er, _meal_ at least! You're having breakfast with us, now come on! It's new years eve, we're going out tonight, so if you-,"

The look on his face said enough. "Unless you want at least fifty guards coming with us, I can't come."

I sighed. "Fine, well, at least come to breakfast. I know for a fact you haven't eaten breakfast since last Tuesday." I tell him. "You really must taste the wonders of a good hearty mouthful of eggs and bacon and hash browns and all the lovely things your kitchen staff can cook up."

He gave me a tired, worn look, and for a moment I thought he was going to tell me the emails needed answering, but before he could utter another word, I grabbed his arm, and tugged him out the door angrily. "They work you to the bone around here," I muttered.

And, mainly because he was so tired, and I knew even when he did get back to the room he didn't sleep well, he complied, I sat him down on the lounge, where I have a feeling he's never actually sat before, and got two plates, and loaded them with everything the cooks had put out on the buffet table.

And I shoved the massive plate of food at him, he gave me a resigned look, and then ate some hash-brown. Then some more. Then another bite. Then a forkful of egg on toast. And after a while I was content that he had realized how absolutely starving he really was, I tucked into my own.

Gaara finished his in half the time it took me to eat my food, and then went and got seconds, and coffee, and orange juice for both of us. I beamed at him.

Naruto and Sasuke came in shortly after, looking groggy and annoyed. I grinned at them too, and they scowled back and went to get food and coffee. I knew once they'd eaten they'd be happy enough.

Gaara seemed to look more alert, and smiled slightly at me, and sighed in an almost content way. "Thanks." He muttered, I smiled back brightly.

"Just doing my job. Since I can't cook to save my life, I shall strive to…er, arrange the food on your plate efficiently."

"Sora, the day you accept a job of cooking and cleaning up for a man is the day I get my ears pieced."

"You've eaten too much, haven't you?"

"No, I haven't, I'm just saying-,"

"Yes, yes, I know… But my job isn't to run around after some dumbass politician, it's to make sure you don't kill yourself with stress…. And you have lost weight." I pick up his arm and feel it, noticing how easy it is to feel the bone.

He tugged his arm away. "I'm _fine_,"

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever, at least you've eaten," I paused then laughed. "Anyway, wanna play some cards? I'm getting pretty good at 500, and I reckon we'd make a pretty mean team-,"

"I can't, Sora, you know I don't have time." He said this as if speaking to a child.

The smile dropped from my lips and I sighed, and shoved the pack of cards back on the table. "I'll play with Kankuro and Naruto and Sasuke later, then."

He touched his hand to my cheek briefly, and stood, taking his, and my plate with him to the bench, stacking them there, and then disappeared into the corridor.

Naruto and Sasuke gave me a sympathetic smile, and I scowled at them. "He's the Kazekage, I can't expect anything else." I snapped, and stormed back to my room.

And now I'm writing this. And I know I was right, he is the Kazekage, and he can't help it if the country is in need of him. Far out, it's like fortymillion billion people, or me.

And if he did pick me, he'd be murdered for starters. And also, if he picked me, he'd lose everything he'd ever worked for. I haven't ever worked for anything other then what I have – Gaara. And I guess if I was faced with losing him, I'd do whatever it took. I wasn't there through the hard days Gaara doesn't like to talk about, I wasn't there when he was forced to sell illegal substances. I was in a comfortable suit in Sound, thinking I had it hard.

I don't blame Gaara, I don't blame him at all. And I don't ask him to reconsider his situation… It just makes me want to reconsider my own.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Later**

Naruto and Sasuke, by the looks of it, didn't tell Shikamaru or Sakura or Kakashi or Iruka about their insight into how things work around here. When I'd had a shower, I went and visited Kakashi and Iruka, who where still sleeping, woke them up with gifts of toast and coffee.

"I would have brought you teachers apples, but I think you would have never talked to me again." I tell them, handing them little packets of jam and a large slice of butter on a plate.

"Sorry- all the little butters were gone…,"

They shrugged and buttered their toast at the kitchen table, and I made some tea for myself.

"It's only eleven! Why'd you wake us up?" Kakashi said, stretching. "We like to sleep in, y'know, we don't get to in the school term-,"

"Yeah, but you do anyway." I laughed.

Kakashi shrugged. "I need a casual sleep in, it keeps me sane."

"I think you overdosed on casual sleeping. You have become like, negative sane, now."

Kakashi pretended not to hear me, and bit into his toast with vigor he didn't have before. I grinned into my cup of tea, and sipped it peacefully.

The morning continued with conversation until Sakura turned up, and then it turned into general fits of laughter and arguments. Later, Sasuke turned up, saying blandly Naruto went to visit Shikamaru and fell asleep.

I laughed. "Figures," I grinned.

"You have no idea how annoying it gets, for a while in Konoha I didn't let him go out of the house, because I knew he'd get bored, go visit Shikamaru and then fall asleep and not come back for at least two days." Sasuke said irritably. "You'd be surprised how somebody so energetic and mentally disturbed can sleep so soundly given the chance."

"I've experienced it. Trust me." I twitched a little at the thought. "Don't try and wake him up, he considers it a crime punishable by death."

"I know," Answered Sasuke, Iruka and Sakura, all of them looking annoyed at whatever memories their minds where conjuring.

I laughed at the ticked-off looks on their faces, and finished my tea. "Tea?" I offered, knowing in a moment I'd be putting the kettle on for another cup.

"Yes, please," came a unified answer from everyone but Iruka, who was still finishing his coffee.

The problem with sharing a flat, even just for breakfast, which a bunch of tea-loving freaks, is that kettles are never built for people with this much enthusiasm and love for tea. Two litres just isn't enough.

I may have to write a letter of complaint to…er, the KMABAPKPDHP, which stands for the short and modest Kettle Manufacturing and Appreciation Board for the Acceptance of Proposed Kettle Proportions and Dimensions for use in Household Premises.

They exist, mail a letter to them. Just write the initials on the envelope and it'll get there in its own sweet time.

And if you think that's not modest enough for you, you should see the board for the boiling temperatures of kettles. Now that, that's a long one. Especially since there is only one boiling temperature, respectively, and that is 100 degree's Celsius. So that board of studies gets a whole lot of shit coming from every direction about its very existence.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Later (little bit)**

Gotta go out for dindins tonight, promised Sakura. Just dinner. No parties. I do not care what she says.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Nighttime **

Did not drenk. Nott muchn anyway. Promeese. Is promeese one 's' or twoo 's's? I think its one… I dont kno.

Uhh… I ate stuffff, and then had a leettle glass of vine…wine… winne? Wine… anyway, had little sip of wine or 2woo… then had lovely mushroom ravioli. Was actually Narutos I may think.

Nightynight sleeptime nows. Ohhh…. Would have shower… but cannotte….

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**1/1/19 **

Ohhh, have mild headache. Nothing coldwater and a hot meal can't cure. Ookay, okay, out of bed… NOW!

OHHHHH, MILD HEADACHE GOT WORSE.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Minutes later **

Back in bed. Okay, okay… must shower. Hangover not that bad, be a man, Sorano!

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**After shower **

Ahhh, that's alot better.

New Year. I have known Gaara for four years now.

I have known Naruto and Sasuke for sixteen.

I have known Kimimaro for eight months.

I have known Sakura and Shikamaru for ten years.

I have known Kakashi and Iruka for eight years.

It's all so little time. When I look at facts, it's all _nothing_. But I feel as if there hasn't been a day when they haven't been around, when they haven't made my life chaos. When I haven't been totally and absolutely in love with every one of them.

Gaara, had the day off, so obviously he was out saving the country from suicidal bombers who thought they couldn't stand the idea of another whole year ahead of them while Gaara was still around.

Okay, if I feel a little off, then Naruto must had the equivalent of WWII in his head. Ohhh, hate to be him right now. Off to go tease him about lack of restraint vis-à-vis alcohol. Hahhahahaha, I am much better then him at this.

I ran like a mental case to their room, regretted it, composed myself, and jumped with enthusiasm in-between Sasuke and Naruto, kissed them both on the cheek and said happy new year.

Sasuke got up, and stretched, Naruto swore loudly, and pushed me off the bed. I scowled at him and marched off to make myself a cup of tea. Dinner last night was good, generally good, didn't actually drink that much, and got out of Sakura's clever ploys to go to a party- which was basically 'hey, sora, PARTYYYYYY.' And my response was 'hey, Sakuraaaaa, NOOOOOO!'

"So who'll be the worst?" I asked Sasuke.

"Huh?"

"Hangover-wise."

"Hmmm," he sipped his tea thoughtfully. "I'd say Naruto."

"Poor Naruto." I sighed.

Sasuke laughed a bit. "No, not poor Naruto. He deserves it."

I laughed too. "Fair enough."

We eventually got up, and morning continued swimmingly. Lovely breakfast with fried mushrooms and tomato's and bacon and eggs. Sakura was up at about eleven, followed by Shikamaru. Kakashi looked his normal self. I smiled at them all, half smiled back.

"I feel joyously lovely and wonderful." I lied a bit. But it was worth it when I saw the look of half-loathing of Sakura, she glared and went to fill up a plate of hot breakfast.

We continued new years day with card games and general fun. Afternoon did not continue so swimmingly, because Sasuke selfishly morphed into Itachi, and I made another potentially-fatal mistake. I covered it up by continued conversation, and nobody really noticed, but I got a look from Shikamaru. A look that was slightly frightening. A look that said he was almost piecing this together.

I ignored this, it was Shikamaru, he wouldn't yell it to the world, and I was happily having a wonderful new years. I wasn't going to let it bother me once I was sure nobody else had heard.

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

**SORRY I'VE BEEN AWAY SO LONG- SORRY, SORRY, SORRY. **

**I've been on a lovely wonderful holiday somewhere over the rainbow. (Speaking of which, I saw the musical Wicked, which was absolutely FABULOUSSSSS! I loved it) **

**Anyway, updates will be regular again, sorry for the year-long wait. I've missed you all! Had a lovely time on holidays, and hope you have too! (if your in Aust… I guess. Or if you're just coincidentally also on easter holidays.) **

**LOVE YOU ALL LOTS. (yes, YOUUUUU!) **

**Love, to-love. **


	54. Revealed

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Chapter Fifty-Four:**

_Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. - __Erica Jong_

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**2/1/19 **

I'm an idiot. It's all okay now- I think. But I should have taken more care. Shikamaru promised to not tell a soul, but I could have reduced risk. I trust Shika, but it's making me edgy knowing somebody knows. I mean, I successfully orchestrated a prison break. I would be locked up for life if anybody found out- anybody that is other then those near and dear.

I remained as calm as possible, but eventually he got to me. If I hadn't have lost my cool, I might have only gotten away with telling a third of the story. I hate having secrets, I hate having to lie. But at the same time it's a little thrill, a little bit of proof that I'm not the predictable person they all think I am. Even if it's only proof to myself, it's proof enough.

Everyone went out to go shopping, something I now think is an idea that Shika planted in Sakura's head. I refused, of course, main reason being I am broke since I refuse to accept charity from Gaara, and I am not working.

I sat in the apartment drinking my third cup of tea for the morning and reading a newspaper stolen from the Lounge Room, I think it belonged to the Foreign Affairs minister. I get this hunch mainly because it's not written in English.

After ditching the newspaper, I was just relaxing in the morning sun (Before it gets deadly and sunburny) and then Shika walked in. I turned around and grinned, he didn't grin back.

And like that, I knew he knew. He sat down, and without saying a word, sat back and waited. I was silent. So was he.

"Hello," I said awkwardly. I wasn't going to make this easy for him.

"You owe me- no, _all of us_, but they won't know, will they? Anyway, you have some explaining to do."

"I don't know what you mean." I sniffed.

"I know Itachi is part of Ataksuki."

I gave him a cold look, but sighed inwardly. "How'd you find out?"

"I did some research. None of it made sense until I talked to a whole lot of guards from down stairs and got a name out."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I am… but I couldn't, could I?" I sighed again. "Sasuke would skin me alive for even seeing his brother in the street, let alone talking to him like a normal person."

"Sora, start from the beginning, and work your way through it _all_."

"I was kidnapped on a Wednesday. Recognized Itachi on the Thursday, that night he came down to the cell and we talked," here we go, I thought, here's the thing that'll get me out of this. "Shika, you can't tell them."

Shikamaru narrowed his eyes. "I won't. But just remember next time you keep secrets, keep them better."

I nod. "He's innocent."

"What?" Shika gave me a curious look. "Innocent as in…?"

"He did kill Sasuke's family."

"So how-,"

"But not because he wanted too."

Shikamaru laughed almost harshly "Sorano, you've been conned. You really believe _Itachi Uchiha_? You knew him through highschool, it's exactly what he'd want you to think."

"Shika, he saved Sasuke."

Shikamaru sighed, put the kettle on, and looked at me with almost pity. "Of course he's charming, but Sorano, you've been had. He killed six people. He cut the breaks on the van, we all know he did. The authorities are unsure, but we know he did."

I nodded. "I know he did, too."

"Sorano, you're mad, what are you trying to say?"

"Just listen. The Uchiha clan was too powerful, and I think his dad and his uncle did something to really piss the government off. They were going to have the clan killed, and having Itachi do it was perfect. They got him, and told him to do it, they'd help him out of the country, and he'd spend the rest of his life a free man, rather then a dead one."

"That's what he told you?"

"No, that's what I gathered."

"Sora-,"

"Just listen! So he spared Sasuke. He didn't kill him, and then he ran himself, because now the government would be pissed that he didn't finish the whole lot. They can't pick Sasuke off, because then it'd look to suspicious. Itachi left and joined Ataksuki, where he kidnaps people for a living. Well, not really. Just so happened that fate shoved us in their together."

Shikamaru looked at me leveling for a moment. "Finished?"

"Yes." I said. It was kind of good to get my theory off my chest. I hadn't really even thought about it until now. Just harboring it.

"You're mental. He's lying. He killed Sasuke's family, and that's just that."

"We disagree, Shikamaru." I said quietly. "We disagree."

Shikamaru sat down and sighed. "You've changed more then I thought, Sorano."

"I know."

"So what else? What else didn't you tell us?"

"Not much else. That's it." I lied smoothly.

Shikamaru groaned. "Itachi had to be there, didn't he? He just had too."

"Trust me, I feel the same way." I said almost grumpily.

Shikamaru frowned. "Why?"

I went a little red. "Well, if he wasn't, I wouldn't have to lie."

"You wouldn't have to lie unless there was something to lie about… Itachi being there isn't really a problem, is it?" Shikamaru's eyes narrowed. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"Because Sasuke would go crazy." I said quickly. "He would."

"Not if you said he was just there. You wouldn't have to tell him his brother was innocent. In fact, why don't you tell him anyway?"

"Because, things are healing the way they are. If Itachi stays away, which he will, everything will run its course."

"Sora," He looked at me sternly.

I look back coldly. "_What_?"

"You're not telling me something."

"I'm telling _you_ everything."

"No you're not."

"Yes I AM!" I snapped.

"No, you're not."

"What the hell do you want to hear? I'm telling you everything!" I hated him for knowing me too well. I hated him for knowing I'm lying.

"I want to hear what really happened."

"I got kidnapped, stay for approx. ten days in a cell with a toilet cubicle, water dispenser and a couch. Saw Itachi, we talked. I got the _hint_ about what happened, I still may be wrong. I escaped with skill and cunning and a little help from Itachi… caught the bus back here. End of story."

Shika shook his head at me. "Sorano, either to tell me everything or I tell Sasuke."

I went white. "You bastard." I said, but my usual good-natured tone to this word was gone, replaced by cold vehemence. "You promised."

"And you've lied enough in the last ten minutes for me to break it."

"You complete, utter asshole," I take a deep breath, and figure there is no point. "How'd you find out?"

"I just know you too well."

I sat back in the chair and rubbed my temples. "What d'you want to know?"

"How many times did you sleep with him?"

I took a double-take at the frankness of this question. I felt nervous bile rise in my throat. I swallowed hard, and breathed deep. "Twice." I said steadily.

Shikamaru shook his head in disbelief. "I cannot believe you Sorano."

"I can't either. But you weren't there," I said, trying hard to rationalize even though I knew there was no point. "You have no idea how… _attractive_ he was. You wouldn't understand, but… but I don't care what you have to say anyway." I stared him right in the eye. "Shikamaru, you know me. I would never do this to Gaara if I didn't have the choice."

And then Shikamaru laughed. "I shouldn't… but I believe you."

And I breathed a genuine sigh of relief. "I knew you would."

"No you didn't."

"Okay, no I didn't."

"So what else?"

"Huh?"

"There's more."

I sigh. "They were caught."

Shika looked surprised. "The papers said they never found them."

"No, they did… it's just they didn't _keep_ them."

"Oh, okay…" Shika looked suspicious. "And…?"

"I broke them out of prison." I said, almost calmly.

Shika went pale. _This_ was news to him, obviously. "_What_!?" he hissed.

"Well, I don't think this is nearly as bad as me sleeping with Itachi, I only bro-,"

He leapt at me and covered my mouth. "Don't say it again!"

"Why?" I gasped, prying his hands off.

"You're in the bloody Kazekage's Offices! You _never_ know who's listening!"

I shrugged. "I guess."

"Far out Sora! You… you," he sighed. "You are the single most amazing person I will ever meet. But that still doesn't mean I approve!"

I grinned. "That's okay, it didn't matter what you approved of or not."

"I can tell."

"Now that's all, I promise."

Shika still looked flustered. "You're mental. I cannot… _how_!?"

"Well, I'd had lots of practice."

"...What?"

"_Vents_." I grinned again.

"Sorano, you… you are mental! A really insane genius, but oh God… my _God_… you are practically a _criminal_! Arghh! Only _you_! Any other normal person would have accepted they deserved to die, and slept peacefully through the night!_ BUT NOT_ _YOU_!"

I shrugged some more. "Come on Shika, get over it."

He scowled at me. "No wonder you've changed. You got kidnapped, conned into infidelity-,"

"Was _not_ conned!"

"You know, in this situation most people would admit they were, and get out of it. But not you. You seem to think it's more wrong to be conned into sex with a criminal then willingly doing so."

"I do."

"Why!?"

"Well, there's nothing wrong with having sex with a criminal. There's plenty wrong with being _raped_ by a criminal-,"

"That's not what I mean, and you know it!"

"Shika, the difference with me is that I knew it was wrong, and that I shouldn't. I still know that it was wrong, and that I shouldn't have. But what am I supposed to do? Freak about it? There is no point. Best option I had was to get him out of my life as soon as I could, and that way, there was no way of anybody finding out. But, Shika dearest I never included _you_ in that conclusion."

"Wouldn't the death penalty be a good way of getting him out of your life as soon as possible?"

"Think about it! He's angry, he's gonna die, he wants to piss Gaara off as much as he can. There are two ways of doing that, one: escaping, or two: telling him he'd had sex with his fiancée. I made sure that second option did _not_ happen."

Shika nodded. "I see."

I sighed. "I'm sorry I lied, but you would have too."

He nodded. "I would have." He looked out the window for a long time. Silence. "I will not tell a soul. But I will remember this."

I nodded. "I know you will."

Shikamaru drained the last bits of tea from his mug, and put it on the sink, nodded to me and walked out. I sighed, at least it was Shikamaru. If it had have been Sasuke, I would have been skinned alive.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Sorry about the wait, tests EVERYWHERE. Next few weeks will be hazardous. I know I promised, but just watch out for gaps. Am very worried. ARGHH. Half-yearlies. Driving me mad. **

**Love you all anyway! Lovelovelove!!!!**

**Looooooove, to-love. **


	55. The End

_What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death. - __Dave Barry_

Hello everyone!

I'll be frank, I can't finish this story for quite a few numerous and invalid reasons, so, because I think that's really not fair, I'll do the best I can.  
I'm about to tell you everything that would have happened had I had the opportunity to finish the story, if you'd rather imagine it yourself, or just don't care, then don't bother reading, but this was the plan for Sorano….

Sorano, shortly before the wedding, as you all expected, would receive a letter from Sound saying that, sadly, Kimimaro had died some months ago, and that they were very sorry to bring the bad news, ect. As Sorano never really thought things out like normal people do, she immediately took the train to Sound, and marched in demanding an explanation. She comes back into contact with Kabuto, who shows her to his grave, which was dug in the school grounds, Sorano cannot comprehend the idea of her friend being two meters under her feet, and so fails to return to Suna that night as planned. She stays with Kabuto, and doesn't cry, just sits and tries to understand that she had been standing on what was left of Kimimaro

Eg.

I stood on his grave. I was standing on one of my best friend's grave. I looked at Kabuto, and he looked back, confused about why I was confused.

"This can't be right."

"It's right, Sorano."

"Kimimaro may be dead, but he's not under here. It's impossible that I can be standing in the exact spot where, if I dug down a few meters, he would be."

"You put it crudely, but you're right."

"But that's impossible." I hated it. I hated the idea of him pushing up daisies. I hated him for being buried under the ground. I was looking every other way but at the gravestone. "Impossible."

After tracing her phone calls, Gaara ends up in Sound and tries to persuade Sorano into coming back to Suna, after a while, she agrees, still unsure in her reaction over how Kimimaro could possibly be buried underground in a coffin, Sora is distraught over how easily life can go on when people die, and is surprised in how little Sasuke cares, and how easily Naruto can express his sadness and then move on. Sorano knows, somewhere, she is in shock, and just has to wait it out, she tries moving on with daily life and chores and is disgusted with how easy it is, and wishes it wasn't.

Eg.  
"Sasuke, why is everything so light? I should be crying and not leaving my room and throwing things and wearing black and I should have been at the funeral and cried then and moved on by now! Why!?"  
"You know why, you're in shock, okay? You knew him well and it hurts. Just wait and it'll be over eventually." Sasuke didn't have the same patronizing voice of sympathy the others did (excluding Gaara) and I liked that. I liked the fact he was willing to say things like they were regardless of my feelings. It somehow helped a lot more then coddling and pats on the back.

"It's stupid though! It's stupid! It's not like you died, if you died I'd never get over it, I've known you all my life! I knew Kimimaro for half a year! Why? It shouldn't bother me this much! He was a weak, selfless, permanently sick thing that happened to be in Naruto's room and I don't know why I care!"

"Bullshit." I liked to hear things like they were, I almost lied just to hear them again. It wasn't the same avoidance of the issue I'd always employed before to deal with pain, this time I wanted it. I wanted the pain to come and be over, and it seemed that as soon as I was able to be a mentally-healthy person and embrace the mourning period, I wasn't allowed to. "Bullshit, Sora. How long you've known somebody has nothing to do with how well you know them. You've known _of_ my for all your life, but you haven't _known_ me until year ten. You've known Kimimaro for six months, and you know him well enough for six years. Don't be an idiot. You know why you care."

I breathed a little easier. "And what if I never get a chance to get over this?"

Sasuke shook his head. "I know what I think, but you wouldn't like to hear it."

"I bet I would."

"No, I'm serious this time. You wouldn't want to." And he walked out.

Sasuke secretly thinks Sora needs out of Suna. He thinks she isn't going to be happy or well being trapped for another two years, and that she'll go mad and never get over Kimimaro. He tells Naruto that this place will drive her crazy. The wedding is called off for now, as Gaara senses change is about, and that a wedding isn't a good idea. The press may go crazy, but he ignores them and calls it off anyway. Kakashi and Iruka go home first, saying that they really can't stay longer, Sorano promises to visit soon, and they leave. After a week or so, Sakura and Shikamaru announce the same thing, and leave with the same promises to visit. Sasuke and Naruto promise to stay until the very last minute of the holidays.

Sora is still plagued by visions of Itachi when she looks as Sasuke, and slowly remembers the freedom she felt when she was around the Ataksuki, despite being in a cage. Slowly, she realizes when Sasuke thought she didn't want to her (and he was right), and realizes that from Kimimaro's death she has to learn that every minute counts, and dying so young is inexcusable, and people have to live like their dying to really leave the world feeling guiltless. Staying in Suna is a procrastination of living, and so she finally resolves to leave. She loves Gaara, but now she realizes that it is too high a price to pay, when they can wait to two years separate, and then live together. Not sit in rooms growing old together, she promises that when he is out of office, they can go be young idiots and travel, but until then, that won't stop her, and she needs to leave.

e.g.

I was packed by 4am. It was dark outside, and Gaara was asleep. I was going to leave, because I couldn't face him, but I think that's the cowards way out, and he will accept the decision. I can't pretend he'll throw a tantrum to avoid telling him in person. I waited for him in the office, I carried nothing else but what I came in. I'd left my Suna clothes, I'd left everything else, all I had was my bag, my Jeans and T-shirt, and three diaries. Eventually he found his way down, and stopped at the door when he saw me in the waiting chair, and not in my normal clothes, he sighed, and I knew he knew. He looked at me, but I couldn't find the true heart to feel regret. I could feel empathy, but not regret, because I was leaving honestly, and I wasn't really leaving, just going on holiday. We'd see each other in two years.

I smiled "I love you."

He nodded, and I gave him that one. I wouldn't make him confess love just because I wanted it now.

"I'll see you, I promise."

"I know."

"Good."

And he kissed me, I smiled. I felt a sense of freedom that I hadn't felt in a very long time, it was a healthy, open sense of acceptance in life. It was mum leaving, it was Sasuke leaving, it was Gaara leaving, it was Naruto betraying me, it was Kimimaro dying, and it was me looking at all these things and thinking I was glad they happened, because otherwise I'd never end up here. The feeling was wild and ferocious and I wanted to run from the building, and as always, the only thing keeping me there was Gaara, and he still had his lips pressed to mine. He pulled away and then kissed me again quickly, and stepped back.

"I love you." I said again. "I will see you in two years, I love you." And I walked out, there was a sense of sadness, I would miss Gaara like nothing else, but still, it had nothing on the overpowering sense of glee that made me smile. I knew why I couldn't grieve Kimimaro, and maybe if I believed in ghosts I'd say he wasn't going to let me be until I saw I needed more than the Kazekage's Offices in Suna could give me. The sun was rising. It was the same kind of sunrise I saw when I let Itachi and his merry band of friends out of the air-vent and I nearly left with them. I kept walking until I found the Train Station, I knew where I'd go first, I would go to Sound, I had to finally let out everything I'd been holding, I had unfinished business in Sound. I stepped out of the staircase and into the station, there was only one other person in the building, I smiled.

"Sasuke, what are you doing here?"

"Coming to remind you that you can never really leave without me knowing."

"This is revenge for last time, isn't it?" I laughed.

"Yeah, it is." He half smiled. "Naruto will kill you."

"No he won't, and he won't know you let me go."

"He won't." Sasuke nodded and smiled. "I'll come get you, okay?"

"How will you find me?"

He shrugged. "I don't know, but I'll find you. Same way you found me, I guess."

I smiled again. "Deal, I'll see you then."

"Two years."

"I know." I kissed his cheek. "Tell Naruto I love him, and I know it's not fair, but this is the way things happen when you sleep in all the time."

The train pulled up, and opened its doors, a few sleepy passengers stepped out groggily. I sighed, "Well, this is my train."

"Two years."

"I'll see you then." I blew a kiss and stepped off the platform onto the train. Sasuke stuck his hands in his pockets and walked out. I watched him leave, for once in my life, I watched him leave. I ignored the one piece of advice I'd ever give anyone. And now I know it was wrong. You can't ignore everything like I did, and maybe it's better to watch them leave. Sasuke walked up the stairs, and it make me feel sad, but in that melancholy, happy-sad. The sad you feel when you watch a child grow up and leave the house, and you don't know how to feel really.

I would go to Sound. And as the platform became a blur of concrete and small amounts of fabric and people, I laughed, and then I cried. And I cried, and I didn't really stop crying until we arrived at Sound. Because now everything was worth it. And nobody could take anything away from me, ever. I was my own person, and I wasn't invisible, and I wasn't a person made of other people, dependant and needy, and I wasn't somebody who was needed by others. I was a person who wanted others, and was wanted by others.

Sorano then goes to Kimimaro's grave, and pays her respects like anyone else. She also (when nobody is looking) buries her diaries under the gravestone, saying 'because I know you wanted to read them, and you'd probably enjoy them more than me.' And it ends. I presume Sora doesn't then return to Konoha, she, in my mind travels the world and becomes a person in her own right. Sasuke never does find out the truth about his brother from her, and the secret is kept well. Gaara doesn't find out either, Shikamaru never realizes Sakura was pregnant, and it was taken care of silently. Sakura becomes a teacher, and then goes into medicine.

Somethings may need explaining, I think. Maybe I wrote this ending just for my own peace of mind, because for me to the story wasn't finished until it was all down on, er, imaginary paper.

I wanted something terrible and sinful, like Sorano cheating on Gaara to happen, and I wanted it to be completely her fault, and for her to do it anyway. Because that never happens, it's always the other spouse that that happens too, I wanted Sora to be the stupid mistake-making one, and what's more, I wanted Gaara to never know. I wanted Shikamaru to figure it out, and I think Sasuke would have if he wanted to, but I think somewhere inside he knew he didn't want to know. Just like he knew Sorano didn't want to hear that Suna wasn't a good place for her, until she was ready.

In my wildest dreams I see her meeting Itachi again, and maybe robbing some banks just for the hell of it, but at the end, Sasuke does find her in two years time, and she does return to Konoha, marries Gaara and….. (Wait for it) LIVES HAPPILY EVER AFTER. Because I am that type of person that thinks every story needs a happy ending, even if some things, like the real world, remain unsolved and unresolved. She grows old, has children, ect.

Also, I imagine her finding her mother again. I see her also being slightly disappointing in seeing she doesn't care nearly as much for her mother (despite her being her mother) then she does for Sasuke, Naruto, ect.

I am very sorry I couldn't really do this justice. But I think I did the best for the circumstances, which'd take a long waste of time to explain when it wouldn't change anything.

And, for the very very very last time EVER,

THANKYOU SOOSOSOSOSOSOO EVRY ERVY MUCH AND I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! (yes, YOUUUU!) SO VERY VERYMUCH!!!!!

I would dedicate this to many people, I really would, but I don't have the time, but I think you know who you are (you've probby been mentioned before) so THANKS EXTRA TO YOU.

LOOOOOOVE, LOVE LOVE LOVE, LOVE for the last time, LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVOOOOVOOEOVOVOEOEE,

To-love-is-to-lie. Who loves you ALLLLL!!!! Xxxoooooxoxoxox.

_Experience teaches only the teachable -. Aldous Huxley_


End file.
